Chapter 23: Call Me Maybe

We moved to a different inn after the Tarnished crashed our party.

The boys got two rooms for our little group, and Electra and I took the one with a window we could jump out of. Hopefully things wouldn’t come to that, but as they said, it wasn’t paranoia if they really were out to get you.

Electra poked one of the ratty, straw-filled mattresses as we entered the room. “Don’t supposed you have an water bed in that utility belt of yours.” She pulled a face. “Or some Raid.”

“Forget that.” I took a step forward and the floor creaked beneath my foot. “I’m worried that I’m about to fall through the floor. The place is not rated for power armor.”

“Speaking of, Empress, why weren’t you wearing it like, every day?” Electra asked.

“I needed to be smart and flexible.” I smirked. “Power armor slows you down, no matter how well made.”

She tilted her head “Then why break it out now?”

“Sometimes, life needs you to be smart and flexible, like a consummate mastermind.” My armor whirred as I raised my gauntleted fist. “And sometimes it needs a bit of good old-fashioned brutality.”

Electra giggled. “God, you’re such a giant ham.”

I sighed. “Everyone’s a critic.”

Electra gave the matress one last suspicious look before straightening up and examining the rest of the room. “Well, I’m gonna get this place set up in case we get jumped.” She gave me a sneaky grin. “Don’t you have a call to make?”

I frowned. “I’m not in the habit of micromanaging…”

Electra burst out laughing. “Em’, you’ve been micromanaging literally everyone for months now.”

My scowl deepened. “That’s hardly fair.”

“We kicked you out of town so you could take a vacation.” She kept snickering. “We’re literally on a vacation so you can execute a villainous scheme. Because infiltrating a city is better for your blood pressure.”

I felt my cheeks growing hot. “I don’t see how—”

“Gosh darn it, Empress. Call the girl already.”

I huffed. “Fine. Just don’t forget to bar the door.”

She dragged the lone chair over, jamming it under the handle with a pointed look.

I turned, walking over to the corner and pulling my own communication mirror out from my pocket and flipping it open.

I felt the casing of the mirror grow warm for a moment as the enchantment activated, communicating with its twin all the way back in Lady’s Port. Maarin was already making back his salary.

After a moment, the darkened surface of the mirror resolved into Relia’s face. Her eyes lit up as she saw me, and I found myself smiling despite myself.

“Mistress! You made it into the city?”

I nodded. “Our old friends in the Tarnished gave us some trouble, but it looks like no one else is expecting us.”

Rel frowned. “Trouble?”

“Arlo wants to have a meeting so he can threaten to expose me to the law, try to browbeat me into compliance, and demand repayment for slights I never committed.” I waved my hand. “You know, the usual.”

Rel’s face twisted into a frown, eyes flashing. “Do I need to send more people?”

I sighed. “I’m not here to start gang war two: electric boogaloo,” I said. “Besides, don’t you have your own problems?”

Rel mouthed ‘electric boogaloo’ before shaking her head. “Mistress, I would bear any burden for you.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“Things are difficult here, but Ishanti and I can make do with less.” She paused, glancing away. “Give me a command and I will follow it.”

I sighed. “Yes, because taking on more than I could chew wasn’t the whole reason you all kicked me out of town.”

“That’s not…” She bit her lip. “I am poor at this.”

“Running Lady’s Port?” I raised an eyebrow. “I should hope not. It’s your whole job description.”

“Mistress—”

“Tell me how ‘difficult’ things are, Rel,” I said. “Honestly, I’ve only been gone for a few days.”

She let out a breath. “I’m bad at speaking over you, Mistress.”

I let my lips curl up into a smile. “Well, maybe that’s also part of your job description.”

She let out a light laugh, ducking her head.

“Now, the town?”

“Yes, My Lady.” Her eyes flicked back towards the mirror. “Anything you ask.”

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

I paused again, blinking even as she took in a steadying breath. “There were more bandits in the jungle than we anticipated,” Relia said. I almost missed it, instead taking in her face as she looked off to the side. Her eyes were sharp, focused. “We rooted them all out, as I said, but many of them managed to scatter.”

I focused back on the moment. “Scatter where? How much jungle is there on this island?”

“They didn’t scatter into the jungle, Mistress.” Rel shook her head, brown locks curling around her cheeks. “Many of them went back north…”

“Towards Silverwall.” I bit my lip. “So we’re stuck here.”

“If they returned to the area around Silverwall, yes. They’ll have blocked your retreat.”

“And if not,” I said, “they’d do so the moment Mr. Seneschal realizes I’m not in Silverwall, which will happen about five seconds after he checks in to give his deniable assets new orders.”

“We figured out what some of those orders are, at least.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

Rel nodded. “There is a woman with golden eyes: she is in control of the bandits. Some of the men and women that surrendered said she is flighty and irrational, but stronger than she should be.”

“Physically, or her class skills?”

“Yes,” Rel replied.

“Great, exactly what we need.” I rolled that thought over in my head. A golden-eyed woman, twitchy, probably sent directly from Silverwall. “But what makes her special…”

“Mistress.”

I waved it away. “You said you’ve figured out their goals.”

“It’s like Llen suggested,” she said. “They intend to send the migrating monsters south and overrun Lady’s Port.” She paused. “But more than that, we found cages.”

I tilted my head. “They’re catching monsters?”

“We freed several strongmaws and sent them running south, along with other monsters. They might be for use as bait…”

“Or they’re catching them to release them all at once,” I finished. Rel gave a grim nod. “They’ll create a flood of monsters heading south, multiple waves even.”

“The jungles are less dense in the northern parts of the island,” Rel said. “There should not be as many monsters, according to Llen.”

“Forgive me if I don’t bet on that making the difference.” I blew out a breath, leaning back on the straw mattress. “And even if it does, then a bunch of bandits can come mop us up just in time for some guardsmen from Silverwall to come down and restore order. Nice and deniable.”

Rel looked down. “Yes. I’ve focused on finishing the outer wall, and making some simple earthworks, but we only have so many people.”

“And not nearly as many combat classes,” I said. “We managed to defeat them in detail because of the jungle, but that won’t matter in a traditional…engagement…”

From the corner of my eye, I saw Rel looking at me quietly as my mind whirled. Of course, in a conventional fight, we were at severe disadvantage. How fortunate then, that my opponent also didn’t want to see this conflict escalate into a conventional war.

“Instead of moats and trenches…” I said, “How do you feel about hunting me some more hummingbirds?”

“Mistress?”

“Those glades are always so immaculate.” I ran a finger along my chin. “Almost as if nothing wants to step inside.”

Her eyes widened. “I’ll speak with Llen about that idea immediately.”

“You do that.” My smile grew. “Also, I’m going to need you to march some men out into the jungle the day after tomorrow and have them camp there for a day.”

“…Where do they need to go?”

“Out of sight,” I said. “But never far from mind. Just make sure they are seen on the road towards Silverwall.”

She tilted her head.

“I just need some plausible deniability,” I said. “That’s all.”

Rel blinked, then a small smile flickered across her face. “The Miner’s Gate was shut, mistress.”

I examined my nails. “That’s the thing about gates: you can always make a new one.”

“Be careful, Mistress,” Rel said. “You don’t have many friends left in the city.”

“That’s the thing.” I smiled. “I’m sure I’m not the only one who wants a new gate. It will be nice to have something to talk about in my meeting tomorrow with Arlo.” I stretched my arm over my head. “Now, unless there was anything else, I think I need to get my beauty sleep.”

I started to close the mirror.

“Lady Via!”

I paused. “What?” I tilted my head, opening the mirror again. “If there was something that important, you’d think you’d lead with that.”

“I-I tried to!” She took a deep breath, cheeks going red again. “I tried to, but I am not… good at this.”

“At what?”

She swallowed. “I meant…what I said earlier, My Lady,” Rel said. “Give me the command and I will obey.” She rested the tips of her fingers against the mirror. “Order me to reach through this mirror and touch you, and I will be there.”

One thought filled my mind to the exclusion of all else.

“You’ve been reading Ishanti’s books.”

Rel’s face turned a full, brilliant red. “I-I-I—Th-that’s—”

I coughed into my other hand. “Anyway… that was a bit, direct, but—”

“I was told to be direct!” She shouted.

“If you were told—” I stopped. “Relia.”

She continued meeting my gaze, cheeks bright red. “I meant what I said.” She let out a breath. “Mistress, I…”

She looked down, shoulders wiggling.

I slowly raised my other hand to pinch the bridge of my nose. I felt almost dizzy, pulse rushing in my veins.

“I…” I said. “Why did you wait until I was halfway across the island?”

“You were so busy! I didn’t want to add more difficulties…”

“I…” I shook my head. “I have…” My thoughts sputtered in circles.

In the mirror, Rel’s face slowly crumpled.

“I am sorry, My lady, for overstepping.”

“Rel, wait that’s not what—”

The mirror went dark in my hands.

I stared at my own reflection. For some reason, it felt so much more accusatory than staring at a blank screen.

“This is why I never fucking facetime.”

There was a creak as Electra opened the door, peeking her head inside. I had a moment to take in the wide grin on her face. “Sooooooo? How’d it go?”

I was on my feet in an instant. In one stride I’d crossed the room, gauntlet clamping down on Electra’s shoulder like a vice.

She blinked as I dragged her through the doorway and shoved her against the wall. “Uh, that bad, huh?”

“You were the one who told her to hit on me?”

Electra shifted in my grip. “I…don’t think that’s a productive question.”

“You idiot! I’m planning a revolution here. I’m building a city, I don’t have time for this, madre de dios! I haven’t even—”

“What?” she asked. “You haven’t been hit on before.”

I shot her a withering glare. “Of course I’ve been hit on before, you imbecile. I’ve gotten too many dick pics, and maybe not all men should be so proud of their fucking package.” I sucked in a deep breath before letting it out. “I just…haven’t been in a serious relationship. Ever.”

“Man, that’s like, super flipping depressing,” Electra said.

“I’m twenty-two!” I shouted. “And I almost took over the world! Several times!”

“I think we’re maybe getting a teensy bit off track here?” Electra took a long step to the side, away from my hand. “I noticed you didn’t seem super upset that Rel was the one to ask you out.”

I turned away, cheeks heating up. “That is not material.”

“Yeah, like, I think you should maybe call her back, Em.”

I looked down at the communication mirror in my hand. “…Tomorrow.”

“Oh hell no!” Electra stepped forward, pointing at me. “I’m not letting this devolve into some B-movie romance plot! You call her back right now, missy! If you’re feeling messed up, just think of how bad Rel feels after you rejected her!”

“Oh fuck me.”

“I mean, isn’t that kinda sorta, y’know, the end goal here?”

“Shut up.” I flipped the mirror open. “It’s my job to be the witty smart one.”

Electra sputtered. “Then what am I here for?”

“Comic relief.”

The mirror lit up.

Relia was looking at me again, face carefully neutral. “Yes…my lady.”

“Relia,” I said. “Let’s…have a talk. A real talk.”

She sucked in a breath of air, looking up at me through her lashes with something that might have even been hope.

“I think I would like that…Mistress.”