Lich King Andrest took a quick step back, one that was not as graceful as his previous movements. I drove my pitchfork into his foot, grabbed his fancy shirt by the collar and drove my over fist into his face. Then, for good measure I pulled my arm back and drove my face mashing first into his face again. Like a person unable to properly back up a wagon I repeated the forward and back motion until I felt the necrotically reinforced bones and tendons in my hand break. His face was worse; the bone structure had been caved in until it was more bowl than round melon. I dropped the royal undead to the ground with a sloppy splat.

I rose to my full height and surveyed the crowd of high society as I wiped Andrest's brain goo off my hands. The group of uppity folks stared at me in horror.

I smiled broadly, my shiny teeth catching the lights of the chandeliers above. They collectively took a step back. I drove my pitchfork into the fallen king's chest with such force that it pierced the beautiful floor and stuck.

With my good hand I swung onto the saddle on Buggy's back. "Come on, we need to dash!" I said crisply

"Right-o!" Ursula grabbed Bozo in one hand and Headless in the other before she leapt onto the saddle behind me.

Buggy wheeled around like a dervish with a little tug on the reins by yours truly. She charged the beautiful stained glass window with a little squealing chitter of gleeful destruction. There is a long and convoluted tale about her murderous rage towards windows but that is an entirely other story. She landed with a perfect six point thud. The wood, bone and stained glass rained down behind us as she was already galloping (is galloping appropriate for a bug? that is something I need to double check at some point.) towards my farm.

It was as saw the edges of the swamp border that Bozo had gotten enough of his sense back to chastise me. "You shouldn't have kept punching him."

"What was that?" I quipped, I was more focused on evading the tentacled bog things attempting to yank me off the insect's saddle. "Mother falcon idiots!" I snarled, I yanked one of Warren's daggers from a saddle bag and played the game stab-the-tentacle. Would you believe it, I had just invented it. I prefer not to brag, but I won first prize. We were already away as the tentacles let go of the various party members and withdrew back into the murky depths of the swamp.

"You shouldn't have kept punching him." Bozo repeated, his voice wasn't quiet as firm. He was still trying to unwrap a severed tentacle from his waist.

"You know nothing, Bozo." I shot him a baleful look. "Andrest deserved it. I'll do the same thing every time I see him."

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"Every time...?" the blonde haired knight said it with confusion.

"Bozo." Ursula interceded before I gave the moron a tongue lashing. "He's undead, sweetie. And not just any undead, he is of the Lich. He is fully mended already. On his horse probably and racing to beat us to the farm."

"Oh..." Bozo said with chagrin.

"Might not be on his horse yet, Ursula." I corrected. "I left him pretty destroyed. And my pitchfork was fully planted in the ground."

The Plain One looked over her shoulder. "I hope you're right. Cause we don't want him getting to that farm first. Can you imagine the destruction that the A--"

"-STOP!" I ordered with a shout. I quieted down to only a loud emphasis "Don't bring up the name of that which slumbers. If its name is spoken, it might try cracking an eye open."

"Well better go faster." Headless snapped. "You're boyfriend is getting closer."

I risked a look over my shoulder. And what would ya know. There was Andrest in all his white, gleaming glory. He was atop a white horse that was didn't have a single bit of dirt on hoof or hair. Rider and steed were passing through trees and walls in phantasmal fashion.

"Hey, that's cheating!" Bozo exclaimed.

I rolled the flames in my eye sockets (the closest I could get to an eye roll.) and yanked on Buggy's reins to have her leap over a ramshackle hovel. The hovel owner raised his three hands to shake them at us in fury. We had caused his campfire to go out, so, I really couldn't fault him. "There is no such thing as cheating! If you get to the goal that is all the matters! Only falcon morons go and make rules on these types of things. There is a goal. He and I will use all resources to reach it. Even..." I sighed internally.

"'Even'?" Bozo asked.

"Even this." I smacked Buggy's head. She wasn't bothered by it, if a tree landed on her it wouldn't have done a dent. The smack was to get her attention. "FASTER, GIRL!" I shouted. And then I said the words that I abhorred and she lived (er, guess she isn't necessarily alive) for. "TEAR LOOSE AND MAKE EM CRY!"

She chittered; this sound was more deep than usual. The rhythm was fast and made my bones vibrate. The strength of her vocalization made my teeth hurt so much that I hissed in pain. Ursula and Headless made similar sounds of discomfort. Black oozing things formed ahead of us, onyx liquid spun around and covered us. And just like that Buggy became a chubby insect thing of dark crystal. She took a lazy step and blurred forwards with us atop her. Andrest and steed stared at us aghast. We were long gone before they could take another step, the only thing left behind was Ursula flipping Andrest the bird and the long path of black liquid.

Bozo was screaming his head off as we moved at a speed that no mortal had ever been granted before. You think he would have appreciated such a gift. But no, he was hollering out prayers to all that was holy. I was more focused on steering Buggy. We moved along at a breakneck speed along this path of black ichor forming just ahead of Buggy's steps. She moved more like she was skating than walking. This was the random thought that occurred to me as the insect leapt over a building and did a toe loop for style while midair.

"GAAAAAAH!" Bozo wailed. He was looking a little green around the cheeks as we spun. He lost his fight against his stomach when we landed.

Headless was not happy with his lack of control. "Hey! Some of us can't cleanup your vomit from their faces, what with missing hands!"

"WOOOOOHOOOOO!" Ursula shouted. She pumped her fist into the air in triumph against the laws of physics. "FASTER!!!"

Bozo's eyes dilated in fear.