Time started up again as I landed a hella of a whopper to Warren One's face. It was a satisfying CHERCHUNK as his head snapped around and he was sent flying through the air at a speed that an arrow would envy. All the puppets around us collapsed to the ground like when strings are cut on puppe...okay, that is a redundant saying. They fell and lay unmoving. Ursula finished her arc of death, cutting her assailants in half.

She looked questioningly at me. "What just happened?"

"I thought you might know." I replied evasively. There didn't need to be any discussion about what Abeth had offered me, or what I would have to do in return. I could feel her white worms wriggling in my gut, she preferred to be sure of entities following through on her agreements. I climbed over the unmoving Warren's and towered over Warren. "Should have just left me alone."

I curb stomped his face against the steps until he stopped screeching. Headless spoke up "That...was dark...even for me."

"You literally tried to tear my soul from my corpse!" I retorted "How is that any better than this?"

"Less messy." Bozo supplied, he was cleaning up his blade while the chickens started running throughout the castle with shrieks of glee. He peered at a crack where more of Abeth's pale tendrils were starting to turn to dust "What is with all the white tentacles?"

Ursula turned and inspected them, turned to me with a look of disbelief "Abeth was here!"

"Was she now?" I asked in my best indifferent tone.

The Plain One threw a Warren at me. It missed, though it did make me take a step to avoid the collision. Ursula was already up the stairs at that point and clocked me. "You made a deal with Abeth!" It wasn't a question. She knew what I had done, and I knew she knew. I could go on a super ridiculous loop about how each of us were aware of the other having knowledge of the other. But let's be honest, that is blatantly obvious. Almost as blatantly obvious as the banister that Ursula used to sideswipe me and send me crashing to the stone floor below. "You're a moron!"

You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.

"Did anyone get a good look at my attacker?" I mumbled from among the newly created splinters. Some people might not know this: splinters hurt. Okay, maybe that one is common knowledge. Don't judge. My brain has just been introduced to both a large wooden object and a very unforgiving floor. I looked up at my supposed friend. "You are a traitor." I groused. I folded my arms and glared daggers to punctuate my feelings.

The Bone Order member jumped to the ground and poked an elegant finger into my chest. "You made a deal with the song sooth. You are the traitor."

"Stop being melodramatic." I batted her hand away. "Abeth is one of the more reasonable gods. I got a sweet deal."

Ursula looked at me. "She offered you Laslilus...Didn't she?"

"No." I said, looking away from my closest friend.

Bozo at that point pelted past us, the chickens close behind him. Headless was making a cackling noise that was taunting them to give chase. Bozo was screaming about how much he hated the stupid head.

The Plain One didn't look away. "What was the price?"

"Never you mind." I snapped back and stood up. "I know where we are going next."

"Where?" Ursula asked suspiciously.

"The one place I fear most... My mother-in-law's."

---

'Knock, knock, KNOCK!' my fist went against the door of the most loathsome woman I had ever known.

You might be wondering how my mother-in-law survived after all these years. It is very simple, the horrendous woman made a deal with the Lich King. Not for any altruistic motives like myself (though Ursula would have said sacrificing myself for the one I love is a pretty selfish thing to do, and ultimately that sort of thing is self-serving.), the blasted woman did it because she wanted to 'haunt' me for the rest of eternity. Her actual words when she showed up cloaked in the screaming shades of shame and despair.

She and I had various spats throughout the ages.

She would flood my land with burning rivers of bile.

I would set her house on fire.

She would set my trees on fire and I would lure a barrow wyrm into her bathroom while she was using it. I gotta say one of my most treasured memories since death was to see she shrieking as the gigantic creature swallowed her and the toilet whole. It had not gone well for her in the end...yes, that was a pun and I would do it again.

This whole thing with Bozo was probably retribution for the toilet incident.

The door creaked open.