It had been nearly a month since our little group had arrived, Alex had left after the whole ‘needing to be infected with an alien fungus thing’. I was still on the fence about it, after watching Chas, Malina, and Destiny all get infected I still couldn’t decide. I mean sure sharing memories and feelings was cool I guess. It seemed to calm Malina down a whole lot.
But it made them seem so much less human, it was like talking to different people. They didn’t talk anywhere near as much, and the original group was flaunting all their ‘powers’. Nate had grown scales and wings, Scarlette had even grown a tail, while John had been practicing his combat. Apparently some of the other species weren’t as peaceful and nature loving as Myc.
“Well you know you don’t want to regret your decision, but all you are doing now is waiting for a choice to fall into your lap.” I turned to see Malina, she had been a little too enthralled with the whole flower thing. She was basically a tree at this point, although inside she was still mostly human. She had long vines instead of hair, flowers and leaves grew over her body instead of clothes, while long roots extended from her back and down her legs like a dress. It was a good look for her, even if she did look like some fantasy dryad or something.
“Yeah, but, I don’t know. It feels like this is all some fever dream, and all I am doing is waiting to wake up.” She looked at me with a face of caring and remorse, like I was missing out on the best thing in life. She stayed silent for a short while, probably talking to Myc.
“Well even if this is a fever dream, then why not live it. I mean you can sit there staying how you are and living it without any real risk or consequence. Or you can be something more and take the risk to do something amazing.” She stood up as a small flower grew from her palm, it was strangely beautiful in its simplicity. Eight small yellow petals surrounded the center of a puffy little pistil, it danced slowly in the mild breeze. I was so transfixed on the mild movement that I hadn’t even seen Malina walk away.
I thought long about our little conversation, even if it was just a few sentences back and forth it held my attention. Truthfully I wasn’t sure if this place was real, it always seemed like I was going to wake up back in my bed. Thinking about how crazy that dream was and then proceeding to forget it within the hour. Going back to living as some environmental wannabe helper, I mean I did some good. Got a lot of donations to some pretty great charities and people, but it felt hollow and forgettable.
This place could change the world, Myc wouldn’t just try to right a few wrongs that humans had committed. He could truly change the world if we had the chance, although was I willing to risk my life to help. I really didn’t want to do either, I wanted to help but getting killed was kind of a big deal. It chewed at my mind for the rest of the day, they wouldn’t judge me if I wasn’t willing to risk my life.
That is the part that hurt the most, they were so willing to accept each other. They could understand me and accept me for who I was. But was it the connection that made them feel that or was it just the people who had already been connected. I mean Malina was still the clumsy talkative girl she was, Destiny still joked with the same charming smile, while Chas continued to pine over Nate. So would bonding to Myc even change me or would it just let everyone else know how much of a coward I was being.
“I don’t know.”
“Perhaps you should leave then.”
“You want me to leave?” John came and sat next to me by the fire pit we occasionally ate around. I had been trying to think of what to do all day, but maybe Malina was right. A choice wouldn’t fall into my lap, not making a choice was as good as saying no.
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“No, but I think you will have too. You need a change of environment, sitting here constantly thinking of the question will not get you an answer. Go back out into the world, see if there is anything out there for you. If not, we will be having another influx of people in a couple of weeks. If you haven’t decided by then, then I think you have your answer.”
“Yeah, maybe you are right. Thanks, John.”
“Well if you wish, Malina will walk you to town tomorrow morning. She needs to talk to some people about putting a little more money into this place. With new people coming, the lands need to be bought to make room for more farms and houses.”
“Alright. Well I don’t know if I will see you again. So, thank you all for giving me this opportunity. It has really put a lot more things into perspective.”
“That is the whole reason that we all joined in the first place. The new perspective lets us see a world that could truly be better than what it is now. That does not mean that you have to risk your life to make it happen, our existence can be so small sometimes. For some it is just better to live it how you see fit, there is no need to be part of something more than you are ready for.”
John sat with me for a minute as I let it all set in, it was a few hours before I headed back to the bunkhouse. I could barely sleep as I thought about what I was going to do when I went back to civilization. Other than getting in a nice warm shower, some AC, and a few moments of privacy. When the morning light broke through the curtain door, I was already up and dressed. I grabbed my things from the little trunk by my bed, attempting to turn on my phone to see the dead battery sign.
“I gotta charge this when I get back.”
“Come on Oliver, I want to get this over with.” I looked up to see Malina looking actually like a person. She wore the same style of clothing as everyone else here, a long robe that hung to her knees like a sundress. She left the old sun hat but did put on the jean jacket she was wearing when she got here. The only ‘odd’ thing about her was the flowers in her hair, which were probably part of her scalp rather than just decorations.
“Alright let's go.” We headed deep into the woods in the direction of civilization, Malina barely talked except when I asked a few questions about her connection.
“Well, I wouldn’t say it is absolute. It is more like reading thought bubbles over everyone’s head. You have to focus on it to see what they are thinking and sometimes it moves too fast to really tell. While memories are kind of a mix between remembering something that happened a while ago and watching a video of yourself.”
“What does that mean?”
“Well when I think about the memories that the others have. It is like I am them doing whatever they are doing, some of them can get intense so you really get a new perspective on what other people go through. Like when Niki went through a pretty depressive episode, she just acted like she normally did but I could feel all the turmoil that was running through her head as she ran for track.”
“That must be difficult to go through, do you enjoy it or is it just something that happens?”
“Well sometimes when I am currently feeling an emotion or doing something. A memory from someone may bubble up, but usually we sit and think about it instead of sleeping. It can be hard and sometimes when a stronger memory surfaces I take a break to just get my thoughts in order. But usually it just makes me want to see more, to understand them better. Seeing and feeling what they felt makes me better understand who they are and why.”
“That actually sounds kinda nice. Thanks Milana, I appreciate you talking to me about it. I know that the others would talk about it, but it seems so personal to them. I just wasn’t sure if it was right to ask them.”
“No problem, the others understand. Especially John, he has been through a lot since this all began. Yet he understands when everyone else feels overwhelmed, even compared to all the things he has been through. He doesn’t undermine your feelings, he understands that they can feel crushing no matter where they come from.”
They didn’t tell me a lot about what happened with John and how he got here. But from what little they did speak of, he had been attacked and nearly killed twice. All in defense of the people here, it was hard to tell exactly what happened but they showed John a strange level of respect that they didn’t show anyone else, except maybe Myc.
“Well, we are here. I need to make some calls and head to a bank then I am going back to camp.” She grew another one of the flowers from last night in her hand. “Take it and remember what we are trying to do here, I hope that you will come back and help us build it.”
“I will, thanks Milana.”
I turned and headed back to the road as Milana pulled out her old phone from a little pocket on the side of her dress. I looked back at the street, the cars drove by smoke pushing out of the exhaust. The sight of it made me want to cough and wheeze, but still I headed back to town to grab a charger and call a taxi. I needed to catch up on some things and figure out what I was going to do with my life from here.