“Can’t you do anything for the pain?” I asked the woman that had been in and out over the last couple of days. She was tall and beautiful but she also started to piss me off with the constant stoic expression and moral high ground. Or maybe that was just the pain and lack of actual food in my body talking.
“If I could, I would. Your pain is a result of your withdrawal, your brain believes that your body needs the drug. This makes your body crave it to the point of physical pain, the mixture of medicine is helping rewire the neurons in your brain. They will eventually stop the pain and put your brain into a state of pre-drugs, although we are not positive it should also limit future dependencies. Although if you wish to stay here, then the problem won’t be an issue as there is no recreational drug use here.”
“Not even Advil.” I joked as the woman continued to wipe the sweat off my face and fix my new sheets. She looked at me with a calm, motherly expression as she shook her head at me. “Uhh, Jesus. No offense but it sounds like this place kinda sucks.”
“Well we do not have all the luxuries of modern society, we make up for it in other ways. The four others that have stayed seem to be enjoying themselves, I don’t know if they plan on staying but we will see.” She remarked as she smiled at me, truthfully she seemed more of a mother than my own. Well, no one can be perfect although Dad came pretty close.
She stopped and her smile slowly fell into a straight face, then she got up quickly and headed for the door. “I apologize I have to go, Liz will be by to make sure you have everything you need and administer any more medicine.”
She left without another word, and not even five minutes later a smaller Asian woman came in and plopped down right next to me. She sat and stared at me like I had just told a bad joke.
“Hi?” I questioned the small woman who kept staring at me with a vague expression on her face.
“Hmm, oh hey just thinking. Well looks like I might be the one taking care of you for a while. You know I had a problem once, granted it was booze and not heroin though.” She gave me a smirk as she remembered most likely being in a position similar to my own.
“Yeah, did they help you out here too?”
“Nah, an old friend did. But you’ll meet Tony if you decide to join, he is a little weird but in that lovable sort of way.” She smiled at the thought of her old friend.
“So what happened to the caramel skinned beauty, she just got bored of sitting here with me all day?” I laughed at my own slight, although the look on her face said that it could have been something more serious. Granted I wasn’t sure why, it seemed to come out of nowhere. It's not like we had much signa out here.
“Ha, she is too caring for her own good. No, she is probably pregnant.”
“Really, who is the lucky guy?”
“John, the big fella who was with Niki when they brought you guys here through the woods.”
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“Good for her. She's gonna go into town, or you guys think you can handle it out here. Seems like you have a strange amount of medicine.”
“Nah we got all we need here, we grow most of everything and if need be someone would go into town to grab the rest. For now though she is just gonna discuss it with hubby and the rest.”
I thought about having kids back when I first got clean, had a nice boyfriend and a good job too. But that whole thing about keeping addicts from old spots and friends was apparently more true than I thought. My first relapse was hard, even if Jadyn wanted to stay I couldn’t ask him too, mostly because I was probably high in some alley.
The thought stung, it was the first of several relapses that made me look for anything that may stick. With Dad gone, I didn’t really have anyone that I could stick with to help keep me clean. So I had started again, it wasn’t as bad as the last few times. I kept it small, and was even able to keep my job for a while. But missing days and coming in high, I couldn’t keep it together, so after I got fired I saw the little cult as a sign. Whether it was karma from a past life or just the world giving me one last chance I took it.
“Well, if you do decide to join, just know that John and the tall one are off limits. The tall one is mine, cute and so sweet. But he is mine, so don’t get any funny ideas.” She laughed off the half serious comment and leaned against the wall of the little cabin. She sighed and closed her eyes as I laid there in pain and sweating.
“Well, how are the others doing? I'm a little fuzzy on days but it has been at least a couple right?” I looked over as she opened her eyes to give me a face of ruining her relaxation time.
“Yeah they’re all doing fine. The older one has been in the gym lately, the short one is still complaining about the lack of phones. I'm betting he is the first to go. The clumsy one seems to be doing fine, hanging out with Cat helping her paint and Nate with the gardens. While the cute one is still trying to get over his little crush on Nate.”
I questioned which ones she was talking about, the old guy was Alex and the clumsy one was the new girl, although I was pretty sure Oliver and Chas were the same height. While her tastes in the tall one made me question which was cute, although I was guessing Chas. Oliver sounded like he was going to be a pain from what little he said while we waited.
“Well glad they are having fun. So what is the stuff in this medicine you are giving me? Niki wouldn’t answer me.” Liz got up to grab more from a little jar in the corner, it was like a crushed powder that I was given at seemingly random intervals. I thought that maybe it was my bad sense of time and sleep but Niki had just given me a spoonful maybe an hour ago.
“Trust me you don’t want to know, plus I am not even sure I understand what it is.”
“Seriously, what could it be that is so bad?” The thought that they wouldn’t tell me was a little worrying. It could just be gross, but sitting in the woods with strangers made me fear for my safety. Granted the only reason I was here was because I feared for my own safety, albeit in a different form.
“Well, truthfully it is a type of fungus. Other than that it starts to get a little strange and weird.”
“Oh, that’s it. Truthfully I was a little worried it was going to be something fucked up or worse just weak drugs.” I still wasn’t sure about it but, again, what other options did I have. So I sat up and let her spoon feed me more of the medicine. I was hoping to keep it down with whatever food I could stomach. I sighed as the wooden spoon left my mouth, and questioned if I should stick around after this was all over.
I didn’t want to relapse again so living out in the woods was a good bet. I just wasn’t sure if I wanted to live in the middle of nowhere, no phone, no ac, it was nice but was it worth giving up all the comforts of society for. Granted all I had back there was a shitty apartment, a worse car, and no job so what did I really have to look forward to.
“Well, it shouldn’t be much longer till you start feeling better, maybe a few more days at most. I am going to grab some food for the both of us, I think it is some soup or something. Hopefully you’ll be able to keep that down.”
She got up and walked out of the little cabin, getting some food for the both of us.
“What the fuck is wrong with this place?” They were doing this for seemingly free, I mean I might have to help them with chores to pay them back. But they hadn’t asked for any money and were being nicer than most rehab places were. They just seemed too nice to be honest, like why would they do all this for essentially free. I questioned if they were planning on getting me sober and stealing an organ, it wouldn’t be that hard to be honest. The thought lingered as Liz came back with hot soup, it was hard to believe they were that good or that bad. I mean taking care of me seems too nice, but they also hadn’t done anything to make me think they were planning on dumping an organ-less corpse either soooo.
“Thanks.” I was just going to roll with it, hopefully I could get clean and figure out what to do with the rest of my life. Otherwise, I suppose I wouldn’t have ended up in an alley dead anyway just with all my organs intact.