The absence of stability affects a child.

The absence of stability kills a child until they become an adult wondering if once existed a child.

They search for it

Desperately, agonizingly, and longer than forever.

They search in the nooks of abandoned homes

In the tones of abandoning hearts

In the plans of a day and the silence of a night

They spend their whole life searching for a glimpse of a ground.

A wall that doesn't fall, doesn't waver, doesn't take their breath to stable.

It is so cruel to deny a soul what it needs.

But a child most of all

A child most of all.

Those eyes that stared up looking for an answer

Those eyes that stay staring up even when there's nobody to answer.

If the building burns, we all will run alike.

If the air is finished, we all will suffocate alike.

If someone suddenly died, they'd drop everything to be in the grief.

If a disaster happened, they probably will drop everything to be a known that doesn't call my tears

In an always desperate wish to predict and interfere.

A child is fragile.

A child is needy.

A child needs a worthy sky

A worthy high.

So that they don't grow up looking for it in every low.

So that they don't grow up finding it only in their own.

To trust a human, to believe a human.

To trust that the ground won't be swiped beneath their feet.

To be able to love without a thousand walls

And talk without a second of pause

Or ten or more or the ever-silent vacant eyes.

I love, so I fear.

The beginning and the end.

The vacant silence and the heavy words.

The heart, soul, and body of an unknown.

The never-existing ability to truly know a person enough to protect your heart.

The unpredictable, the unknown, the distrustful, fearful hesitancy of a tired child.

I fear, so I love.

When a house trembles on its own

Burdened by its weight

Those who live inside of it begin to feel a little unsafe.

The steps lighten in a hesitant walk

And the fingers pause before every touch of its walls.

The breaths quieten, quieten, quieten.

Until only the sound of trembling wood remains.

Caged in a house with malleable walls

One raised voice could erase all it was.

The child started whispering in hopes of warm nights

In fear of the outer and utterly cold life.

The child started erasing what could be erased

And beyond that, when the trembling grew too much to bear.

The child

The child did everything they could so that they could be loved in a home.

So that they could call it a home.

They wanted to live most of all, but they also wanted a love that didn't dent the walls.

Words that didn't shatter the glass, hearts that didn't suffocate the love.

In a lonely swaying house made of trees

The heart of a child called in tears.

It asked the birds and the skies and the trees

If anything of them could handle the breeze.

If they could stand, if they could hear

The trembling voice of their fear

And not collapse in a similar sea.

The child is desperate to be loved.

They want to know what it's like to love with an open heart.

So they don't tremble or hide or fear or build wall upon wall until they barely recognize what's behind.

So they don't beg or break or wish for unattainable things that always end with a sobbing sound.

So they can smile and hold and be held, and love.

So they can open and trust and believe that the key won't ever burn all that was built.

So they can live, live, live.

The child is so so desperate to be safe in a love.

The child is fragile, the child is a wall

There are a hundred keys, there are none at all.

The child is smiling, the child is begging

To be seen or not to be, it all ends to be similar.

The child is faint, the child is bright

To be loved or to be raised up

Up up beyond all castles built

Up up where nobody would think to look for defects.

The child is loved, the child is running

A thousand roads between yet the breaths are still erratic.

The child is safe, the child is screaming

Arms all around them, yet they are cowering and shaking.

The child is high, the child is crawling

Walls made of papers, yet their knees are always scabbing.

The child is known, the child is trembling in fright

A hundred eyes, yet they all look alike

Red in their perceiving, red in the night.

The child is above the waters, the child is buried in the sand

One who cannot live in water cannot survive in sand.

The child is made to be loved, the child flinches from all tries

Even being held can hurt, even then there can be pain.

The child is aching for love, the child cries every heart

To lose and to be lost, the love that could have been

The hearts that could have been one.

The child is you, the child is me.

I want to hold you, but regardless of my wish, the world runs.

I want to engulf you in an embrace you can't doubt.

To take your hand and push it against a wall that can't fall.

I want to be your wall, I want to be your haven

Your soul, heart, and stable breaths you can't envision.

I want you to be mine as I am yours.

When you look at me with a castle standing in smiling eyes

And a shine of tears you blink away when asking the way.

You are always prepared for a loss

I wish to be your everlasting win.

One you don't look twice at because you know no change will occur.

One you smile at without worrying about another end.

I wish to be inside that cavity you call a heart.

To be the ribs it hides inside and the chest it beats against.

I want to crawl inside your body until we are one.

Until my love is a stream beside your blood

Until every breath, every gasp is written with my mouth.

I wish to be the darkness you hide in after a long month.

The light you squint at with an exhausted gaze.

I want to be everything to you

I want you to be everything to me.

You want safety, you want a gun

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One raised over your shoulder, one never aimed at yourself.

You want safety, you always have.

A place that takes your sighs with a terrifying calm.

A body that takes your falls with sated smiles.

You want an addiction, you want an invasion

To be needed like one needs air

Feverishly, desperately, and with no other way.

To be wanted like the sins in life

Burning, starving, and selfish with their hands.

You want to be an obsession to a reign

The reason for a war, the cause of a peace

You, darling little thing, wish to be a burning everything to someone who will gladly take it all to the bottom of the earth.

Who will ask to be burnt with an arrogant smile

Sure in their love, sure in your heart.

Who will pull harder than you push

Who will cage your heart in theirs

So you can stop searching for an escape that doesn't exist.

You want to be loved like a fire loves the ash

To the last second, to the darkest black.

You, little thing, want to be held between rough hands

That fight the world just for a chance to hold you in a calm.

You need someone who is ready to face the fire with a maniac wish to be burnt.

Who embraces you like every single edge of you doesn't hurt

Who calls your name like it's a legacy, holds your body like a prophecy

Who takes your breaths into their chest

And keeps everything you give in tightly closed fists.

You want someone who laps your tears up even when they never dry

Like honey, like ambrosia, like something a human shouldn't taste.

I have seen it all in your eyes when you go to faraway lands

And forget to hide the want that covers your whole existence in a sticky black.

You are greedy, but so am I.

Darling,

If the green in your eyes calls

The emerald running in my veins will answer it back.

Tell me you want me in that soft voice

Let your eyes speak the madness we both hide.

That blonde you laughed against

Your eyes looked down upon all he is

It makes me laugh; it makes my blood boil.

You are well aware, my greedy thing, that nobody has what you need

You know well, you have known

Every time those eyes cut towards me with a burning rage.

You hate the fragility of a vulnerable heart, and you hate me for waking up every buried sound.

My fire, my soul, my sin

My little maniac, my little green,

Nobody but I can handle your burn.

Your nails dig into my jaw and make their way to my veins

You look between my eyes like you need more tangible proof of me being here

Like my rapid beating under your fingertips isn't enough to sate the craze of your need.

I tip my head back and bare my neck, as pliant as a deer on a deathbed

And you are too elegant to bare your teeth, but I can see them glint.

You want to cover my existence in a reddish-purple hue

To write your name in a way that leaves no room

For doubt, second thoughts, or anything that isn't you.

I smile and beacon you into my arms with a slight push

And you melt into my embrace and caress the indents you left

The fire is raging high in your eyes, yet you don't speak.

I have always had less shame than you, so I merely rest my gaze on your teeth

Come, I say with a tilt of my head

Come, I repeat with closed eyes

And you answer my call with a heavy sigh.

The sting of your teeth holding onto me is never enough

My smile is only slightly less maniac than your sated eyes.

The sky is only ever purple in our world.

You dig your fingers into my flesh like you are searching for nectar in a fruit

I let you take what you covet

I let you wield your greed like a weapon

My blood sings for the blood it draws.

For the honest need that you can never hide.

You need me so badly that your whole body trembles with it.

You need me so wholly that your facade of humanity falls in front of me and shows.

You always show me the teeth of an animal wanting to devour

And I open up for you like rose petals.

You can take

You can take everything I have.

I know I can take much more in return

I know I own all that you are, little maniac of mine.

I lie down beside your worn body, and your head turns

Piercing me with eyes so black the tears glint

Like diamonds, like silver, like something unhinged.

My love has always been beautiful in her unravel, in her sin.

Every cry calls for something beyond what I own

It makes me shiver, makes me soar.

You have always been so cruel in your anguish, careless in your colors.

The black covering the room like tar and the green soaking the mattress

The red sticking to your teeth and the hundred colors behind those empty irises.

Your torment fills the house until the walls tremble with force.

The agonizing screams you push in your whispers

The harsh hands digging into my body until I gasp

The haze of unfairness that coats your gaze

You are aching for vengeance; I can see it in your faltering act.

It's sadistic. It's crushing.

It's nothing your heart would allow.

It has the flesh of a child

Soft, fragile, and a lot white

You are stuck with nothing but a screaming hurt

And your battered body loathes all that is white.

I take your bloodied nails and push them into my chest

I would let you carve my heart out if it sates your wish.

I can take the pain. I can take the red and the black and all the shades you cry in guilt.

You, my love, are not made for the hurt.

The flesh of a woman, the rage of a fire

You are only made to hurt.

I would take any blade you ask of me. I would spill any blood.

If you ask of me with those eyes

My love,

There is no soul I wouldn't damn to hell.

I tilt my head in question, and my hair turns green

You blink slowly and breathe.

I put my head on your chest, and I can feel

Your heart beating with the sound of a hundred fears.

The fire burns through me, and I grit my teeth.

I won't leave

My slumped body on you says

I won't leave

My scorching wandering hands repeat

I'm never leaving.

The breaths you take from me seal.

Your lips quirk like you are amused

And the fire only rages in my soul.

"Do you not believe me?" I raise my body above you and whisper.

The black in your eyes turns cruel, and my body trembles under the weight of your gaze

Again, like a prey.

You seem to always ensnare me in your games

Even when in pain, only my desperation can calm your craze.

Your heart is still running under my clenched hands

Reminding me of why I fall into every trap.

You are mine, you will always be

I would sacrifice my sanity if it meant reminding you of that fact.

My body slumps onto you in a submission you don't take

Simply staring at me with that agitating gaze, half-lidded and bare.

Your agony steals the air from the room

The breath from my lungs

It's no wonder nothing less than all of me would work.

Loose limbs and a glassy gaze

A prey, again.

Won't you hunt?

"Baby." Your voice rumbles under my fingertips, and I answer it with harsh breaths

I raise my eyes to catch your stare, and the satisfaction lying in them makes me burn

You smile kindly with those endearing gums

Yet all I can see are those sharpening knives

Every move of yours is calculated, and this is the same, no doubt.

".. Yes," I whisper with closed eyes.

This is how every moment of ours ends

I bury my smile into your neck.

You walk up to every cliff with serene steps

Like you can't see the ground, like you hold no doubt I'll catch you at the end.

Turning your back to the sky and the void and all in between

You smile at me, an arrogant sure of a call

Asking me, "Won't you come?"

I curse our fate with a wide grin and run

And your laugh is like twinkling bells.

"See you at the bottom." You would mouth and close your eyes

Like we have ever seen anything of a high.

Always racing towards the edge of a new fall

You'd think we had wings that could fly.

Your body loses its strain in the air

Eyes so beautiful in their calm.

We are falling towards an unforgiving land

Yet your hands don't waver in their pulling of my hands.

Always asking me to follow you to the depth of all what shouldn't be named.

A laugh bubbles out of me unrestrained, and the crinkles around your eyes speak of the love you have.

Our screws aren't quite fastened in the right ways

But I can hardly care about anything that doesn't bring you that calm.

Come, come, come

Your fingers lilt in gentle tugs.

Fall with me to the bottom of the earth.

I catch your lip with my teeth in reply

And your laugh is honey-sweet around the metal of blood.

Every move of mine is a win in your eyes

You've always cherished the feeling of not knowing enough.

Your fingers move through my hair in a gentle whisper

Caressing reddening ears and mimicking my heart in soft taps.

Everything of you spells your thanks, and I merely bite harder to match the vividness of your breathtaking red.

I tighten my arms around your waist and pull you into my chest with a murmur you shudder from

Always so sweet in your tears and utterly encompassing wish to be loved.

I hide my uncontrollable grin in your hair and feel your eyes closing against my neck

Whatever the end may have for us

I am not letting go of any part of you

Until the end of the earth, maybe beyond then.

(My love,

Won't you hunt?)