Just outside the borders of the Dyrektor Dukedom, a young man was running full speed towards a forest. What made this strange is that this particular forest was notorious for having a Hydra’s lair inside it. What made this even stranger was the large crowd following the young man in this apparent suicide attempt. As was just said, this forest was notorious, surely someone in that giant crowd had to have heard of it. Have they all gone mad? Did they think their numbers made them invincible? Did every one of their wives leave them on the same day and now they were going to end it all together?
Then one of the crowd shouts, “Thieving Hero! Give us the Thousand Year Flower!” Oh, that explains it. It’s one of those scenes.
The Thieving Hero continued on, pursued by the giant mob that, despite being made of a wide variety of ranks and classes, somehow all ran at precisely the same speed, which was slightly slower than the Hero. Thus the Hero, as always, reached the forest just in time, and confidently charged into it’s depths toward the safety of the giant monster that somehow never ate him. A confident grin spread across his face. Just a little farther and... *splat* WHAT IS THIS??? He thrashed about, instinctively fighting whatever was restraining him, but that only tangled him up further. Forcing down his panic, he began to think. Is this spider web? But there aren’t supposed to be any Giant Spiders in this forest! No, no time to wonder about that. I just have to use my flame dagger and... *ROAR* WHY IS THE HYDRA HERE??? It never comes out unless it’s provoked! No wait, maybe if I hold perfectly still...
The Thieving Hero could only hope the Hydra would somehow overlook him and attack the mob following him. As stupid and ridiculous as this strategy sounds, it had actually worked for the Hero twice before. Unfortunately, even plot armor had its limits, and the Hydra couldn’t fail to see the tasty morsel dangling in front of it. *CHOMP*
At this point, the mob were finally released from the strange atmosphere that surrounded the Hero and began to think. A third of them were genuinely horrified that they were about to kill someone over a stupid flower. Another third just wanted away from this dangerous forest that they would never have entered normally. The final third realized that, even if they had caught the Thieving Hero, they would have just started fighting among themselves for the flower, so this was always going to end with lots of them dead and only one of them with the flower. What had even been the point of joining this giant mob?! The risk reward ratio was horrendous! The mob dispersed, just glad to all be alive, and vowing to never be caught up in such insanity again.
As for the Thousand Year Flower, it would up falling into a nearby bush, and was found a week later by a peasant boy collecting firewood. He sold flower to a rich merchant for enough money to lift his entire family out of poverty, and the merchant had the flower made into medicine to cure his dying granddaughter. It became famous as the first time in 300 years an ultra-rare ingredient was used for something useful, instead of being used to boost some Hero’s already stupidly fast growth rate.
However, there was one person (besides the dead Hero) dissatisfied by this outcome.
“But Young Master... you didn’t even try to enslave this one, and after all the expense! Catching and transporting those Giant Spiders, the cattle used to lure the Hydra out of its lair...”
“It’s fine Ifective. Mainly, I just wanted to stop that Hero's tricks. This is the third time he’s used this forest, and each time the battle between the mob and the Hydra would send weaker monsters fleeing into the Dukedom.” Well, in truth at least half of his reason was just to see that Too Clever Hero get munched, but lets not mention that to Ifective. Oh, your wondering how the Hero could find three such valuable plants when the name Thousand Year Flower would seem to mean... Try not to think about it. Statistics and Heroes don’t mix.
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Ifective still looked dubious, but someone else was convinced.
“As expected of Young Master! You even care for the lowly villagers on your lands.” Today, Zellus was wearing an outfit that was pitch black save for some white lace. The reason is because one of the slave Heroes had told her that “Goth is perfect for Yanderes!” whatever that meant. Although Empyreus wished she wouldn’t take advice from such untrustworthy sources, he had to admit the look suited her. Yet for some reason, when she wore it his out of season shivering increased.
“How dare that Hero make trouble for Young Master just for the sake of some flower.” Zellus was slowly edging closer to me, and the gleam in her eyes was growing brighter.
“Such an insolent Hero isn’t even worthy of life, let alone the honor of being Young Master’s slave!” Closer closer, brighter brighter.
“Um... doesn’t Young Master think that there are people much better suited to serving him?” At this point Empyreus seriously considered asking Zellus to bring him a cup of tea, and then bolting as soon as she left. However, his pride wouldn’t let him do such a thing. He was the Young Master! Running away was for lesser creatures!
As it happens, at this very moment a lesser creature was running away. The goblin Gobu’Smkt ran for all his little legs were worth, the roar of an angry Peak Bear behind him. “Uwaaa! This was a bad idea!” is what his gabbling roughly translated to. His plot armor working overtime, Gobu’Smkt made it into a certain clearing just ahead of the Peak Bear. Strangely, for someone fleeing for their life, he slows down to walk across a fallen log like a balance beam. This seemingly suicidal action is explained when the Peak Bear reaches the center of the clearing... and crashes through the stick and grass mat into a stake lined pit. Gobu’Smkt made a mad cackling that roughly translated to... mad cackling.
If your wondering how a single goblin could dig such a huge pit, it’s because it wasn’t one goblin. No no, Gobu’Smkt hadn’t become a leader of a tribe or anything (the other goblins thought he was a weirdo), he had gotten them to dig up the clearing by burying some glass shards in the ground and shouting “Shiny things!” This trick worked 4 times, until one of the goblins had cut his hand on the glass and told all the others “Shiny things are cursed!” It was good to know there are at least a few creatures on Klishay dumber than Heroes after all.
But Gobu’Smkt didn’t have time to think back on that, he didn’t know if letting the Peak Bear die of a trap would count as his kill, so he grabbed a crudely sharpened stick and began stabbing the already dying bear. In truth, simply being near a monster as it died was enough (there was no System calculating damage percentages, just bursts of mana the monsters release as they die) but his actions at least got him close to the bear, so it wasn’t entirely wasted. The poor bear finally died and Gobu’Smkt felt a rush of mana course through his body.
“Ah ha Ha HA HA! Yes! If I can’t evolve past goblin, I’ll just become the worlds most powerful goblin!” The Worlds Most Powerful Goblin took up his spear (sharp stick) and marched into the woods to test his new strength.
10 minutes later: “Aaaahhhhgggg!!! WHY!?!”
Gobu’Smkt was again fleeing for his life, this time from an ordinary boar enraged by the shallow wound that was all The Worlds Most Powerful Goblin had been able to inflict. What Gobu’Smkt had never bothered to learn was that, unlike Heroes, creatures of this world were born already saturated with mana, and had a limited ability to absorb more. Even magic had it’s limits, and there was only so much power you could squeeze into a goblin’s scrawny twisted little limbs. So even though Gobu’Smkt really was the worlds most powerful goblin now, a goblin is still just a goblin.