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8. Hug

Smugly watching me, he coughs into his fist. “Well, that is unprecedented. I’ve never had a peasant impersonate royalty before. How could I have ever been fooled.” I start to get angry, he’s messing with me. Even I could tell that he knew beforehand. Not only would his acting skills fail to persuade a baby carrot to turn white, but his tone also sounded terribly flat. Turning into my human form, I poke his chest, “Stop it already! I get it, you knew I wasn’t royalty. Seriously, I need to get you acting classes otherwise you might be alone forever.”

Pausing and looking at me intensely, he teases, “You got me wrong, you are royalty, princess Winowna. Don’t you remember? I gave you my last name, you’re my family now!” Stunned, I watch his ugly mug grin. I really hate how his lack of communication skills makes it hard to understand. I mean, I’ve never heard anyone sound more fake, yet this guy manages to do so while being completely honest.

Getting over my guilt, I glance at him to see him watching my changing expression. Smiling at him, I jump onto my new bed and embrace my pillows. One pillow, in particular, felt amazing. It shifts forms as I push it around and wraps around my body perfectly. It seemed to be made of a familiar material since I felt almost connected to it. Chuckling creepily, Regius brags, “I thought you would like that one. It’s made from the gelatinous bodies of the highest level slimes and the fabric encasing it is from the silk of a dimensional recluse. You don’t find them often, but with my ability, I was able to catch a few momentarily. Did you know? If you beat a dimensional recluse, they spew a bunch of silk to blind you and run away?”

The only thing I heard is, “made from the gelatinous bodies of slimes.” Looking at him in horror, I hug my slime pillow and back away. “How could you kill a slime? We are the best things around. We never attack people and we never cause problems. Don’t you think a slime has rights? Is that why I’m here? To be your next pillow filling?” I shout in indignation.

Taken aback, He tries to calm me down, ”Winowna, calm down. I would never hurt you, in fact, we only harvested a portion of the slimes’ body. When slimes get big enough, they start to expel the least viscous and unnecessary parts before condensing into a stronger slime. Many of those parts are rare and highly demanded materials.” Patting my head, he soothes my anxiety. Stroking my hair, he sits on the side of my bed.

“Winowna. From now on, you will be my only family and I yours. Anything you need I’ll get for you just name it.” he states, starting another monologue. “A few days from now, I’ll have to go to finish one of my missions and I was hoping to take you with me. I won’t stuff you in my pillow even if you refuse but will you join me?” he asks hopefully.

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Looking up at him, I tease him, “I’ll only go if you stop saying corny lines! I mean even my mentor was cooler. One time, he walked into a side alley and beat up all of these weird looking people. He took their money and belongings and then said a cool quote from one of those street performances.”

Laughing, Regius deviously says, “Sure! Sure, I’ll just have to be more creative. Anyway, I’ve got to go now, If you ever want to have a sleepover party just tell one of the maids outside your door.” Leaving while glancing back, he slowly closes my room and leaves me alone. “Why do I feel like he was distracted? The conversation was awkward and all over the place as well. Maybe I should teach him what Wilbur taught me. “If you can’t find anything to talk about, don’t think at all!” I mutter to myself. It definitely worked for me. Every time I run out of things to say I just talk about what I see and more conversations pop up by themselves.

Hugging my new favorite pillow, I get up and walk around my new room. Tracing a finger behind a ridiculously large bookshelf, I taste my finger. “Hmm. This is actually spotless. Normally people don’t clean hidden verticle surfaces.” Noticing that my finger actually tasted terrible, I walk over to my new bathroom and cry out in surprise. “It’s so shiny!” I squeal. Not only could I see my reflection in the toilet bowl, but I could also even see myself on the shiny walls. Rubbing my cheek on the wall, I take a closer look at the ceiling.

It was surprisingly plain. A white, flat, featureless ceiling.

*****

“You, make some howling noises outside her window. You three need to skitter around her ceiling and make clicking noises with your elbow things. And you, act nice and welcoming outside her door and invite her for a sleepover. It has to be perfect!” I order. Watching my subordinates milling around I smile in anticipation. It’s been a while since I’ve smiled this much.

*****

Waking up, I hear something howling outside my window. Getting up, I walk over and side a portion of the curtains aside. Spotting a werewolf howling outside the window, I happily get dressed. As I put on my jacket, I hear some clicking from my ceiling. Looking up, I find three maids waiting on me. Smiling at them, I motion for them to come closer. Whispering to them, I point at the window, “There’s a werewolf howling outside my window. It looks so cool and fluffy so I want to hug it. Please help me get to it.”

Looking conflicted, one of the maids motions to give her a minute and skitters back to the others. After a bit of furious whispering, they agree to help me. Lowering me onto the roof, one of the maids accompanies me as I sneak up to the werewolf. Crouching down, I jump and hug it tight. Interrupting its howl, it awkwardly whines. Nestling in its fur I look at my maid to see her glaring at the werewolf, signaling it to stay still.