Humming a ditty I learned while working at the inn, I comfortably rode the prince's head. Aside from his unusually stiff and smelly hair, his head is a pretty good place to sit on. It’s not too big, and it’s not too narrow. It’s just right for my small slime body. “Can you stop that Winowna? People are starting to point and laugh.” Regius whispers.
Pouting, I reply with, “They are laughing because they are happy. If you can just laugh with them, they might not hide their laughter and look like they’re making fun of you.” Continuing with my humming, I watch as the fake prince nervously looks around at his surroundings. Stopping my humming, I ask, “Are you scared of people? I used to be scared of snakes, but then my mentor told me the best way to overcome a fear is to eat it. I ate quite a few roasted snakes but they just don’t taste as good as other foods. Why don’t you try it?”
Looking at me funnily, he asks, “You want me to eat someone? Like a cannibal?” Laughing, I say, “No, of course not. Unless you want to. You know, it worked for me. Maybe eat part of a dead person and you’ll see people aren’t that bad! I promise. If you can’t do that, why don’t you try to talk to zombies? I heard that they are the stupidest a human can be.”
Deep in thought, he mutters, “That just might work.” Looking back up at me, he thanks me, “I might just do that. You see, I’m not used to being in the public’s attention, I usually do things where I can’t be seen by others. I have something akin to social awkwardness you see.”
Proud I taught him something, I puff my volume up and say, “Yup! I was once called a great teacher in the making by my mentor. You should probably get on with it as soon as possible. Just a bite and you’ll start to understand other more.
Slyly smiling, he teases, “Why don’t you let me eat you? I promise it will only be a nibble.” Taken aback, my volume ripples in disgust as I scream, “No! That would hurt. Eat someone else, I’m too young! Don’t you know that once you eat me, that part won’t grow back.”
Paling, he looks around and finds several people staring in his direction. “Of course. My reputation wasn’t awful enough. Hold on, we are disappearing.” he whispers. With a sudden lurch, he shoots up into the air and lands onto a building. Not waiting for me to properly grip his head. He hugs me to his chest and dashes across the rooftops. Sighing, I enjoy the wind as he continues to run faster and faster.
Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.
At one point I notice that he no longer was even touching the roofs, he was basically gliding. Lamenting the fact that I couldn’t grow a tongue and let it flop around in the air, I watch as the scenery quickly changes. Around a chimney. Under a bridge. Over a bakery. Around a church. Gliding over a crowded intersection. Through an outdoor eating area. Over a bridge. Around a Mansion.
The buildings flew by so fast that I couldn’t even tell what each one was. Looking forward I see the nobles district, followed by the royal castle. He might just be a noble! Even better, my new boss might be an actual prince! Thinking back to when he was telling me his name, I remember how I introduced myself as a queen. Nobles hate liars. They execute liars too.
Mustering up my courage, I try to get his attention, “Umm. Hey Regius? Regius I need to tell you something.” Not stopping to listen, he says, “Just a moment Winowna, We’ll be home in a moment. I’ll listen to you for as long as you want, just let me take you home.” Not understanding the gravity of the situation, the oaf continues to run from an imaginary monster.
Just how delusional is this guy? He can save me from Thomas but can’t talk to people? He even ran away faster than the wind! Not only is he a complete shut-in, but he is also completely gullible. I mean, he thinks I’m the queen of the slimes! I hope he doesn’t throw me away, or worse, actually try to eat me.
Depressed, I sink lower into his chest. Now that I notice, his chest is pretty broad. I wonder if males normally have broad chests. I know Thomas did, he just had more fat. Feeling the warmth from his chest, I get comfortable and take a nap. It's not like I can fix the mess before we get to his home.
Manhandling me, Regius rubs me awake. “Hey! Winowna! We’re home. Welcome to the royal palace, or at least the corner of it. The far corner where no one but my subordinates roams.” he says proudly. Walking through the many hallways, he proudly gives me the background behind several pieces of art and antiques. “Finally, we have my most recent acquisition, the Mona Lisa!”
“What? No title on this lady? Is she not nobility? She doesn’t look particularly strong, nor does she look like an outlandish beauty like the others.” I ask, genuinely curious. Smiling, he says, “She is not nobility, nor is she strong or outlandishly beautiful. The fact of the matter is that this painting is a rather famous painting from another world! Don’t ask how I got it, you’ll understand all of it soon.” he patiently explains.
Taking his words for granted, I stare at the relatively lackluster painting and compared them to the others. I guess it could be a famous early painting, It just isn’t bright and cheerful like the others. Taking me into another room he sarcastically says, “And this is where your highness, the queen of slimes shall live. A place to call home for you.”
Guiltily looking up at the prince, I see him proudly waiting for my response. Taking a moment to gather up my courage, I slowly say while looking at the sparkling floor tiles, “Regius, I might have lied. I’m not really a Queen.”