Sitting in a dreary shack, I wait for my new mentor to appear. At first, it was scary but I got used to the company the rats give. Did you know they also have busy days? Not only do they have to watch out for the humans and bestmen but they also have to disguise their scent before even stepping out of their home.
The specific rat laying on my foot had the worst day today. Not only did he get eaten, but he also was spat out because of the liquid he used to disguise himself was too stinky. He says he just used the sparkling water that we throw away but even I can tell he stinks.
After Wilbur and I left his dungeon, we ended up meeting the mayor in a graveyard. He managed to find the body of a construct and used it to fake my death. My fake death wasn’t really special, the mayor and his over-eager friends just threw lots of lightning magic through the body until it disintegrated. I mean if I was them, I would have just made it quick and gotten on with it but I guess I enjoyed the light show too.
Any second now my new guardian will come and find me a bed to sleep on. I really can’t believe that Wilbur does this all the time. I mean, I now have a squishy butt, every time I sit on something sharp or if I sit on something too long, it starts to hurt. Besides that, I’ve started to get hungry. How do these people even deal with this? I mean, as a slime, I could just lay there for days and be fine. Now I have to deal with hundreds of things.
Just as I start to drum my fingers on a crate, the shack’s door falls inward. Shocked, I crabwalk backward to avoid the dust storm coming at me. Stepping into the shack was a young boy. Looking around, he frowns when he finds me. Remembering Wilbur’s advice, I get up to introduce myself when he pulls his sword out and points it at me. “Where is Winowna the dungeon?” he yells at me.
Avoiding eye contact, I quietly say, “Winowna the dungeon is dead.” This was another thing Wilbur had me memorize, I was not supposed to be alive and my guardian knew that. The boy clenches his teeth in anger and starts waving his sword in front of me. Cringing at the thought of being hit in this marshmallow like body, I raise my hands up in surrender.
“I know she’s not dead, tell me what you did to her!” he yells at me. There's no way my guardians this stupid. If I could turn into a panda, I’d smush this guy in a heartbeat. “Go away, there is no dungeon named Winowna here.” I cry indignantly.
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Seeing the boy pause I regain my confidence. Taking the battle to him, I scream, “Who are you huh? This isn’t your shack it’s mine. How dare you break down my door. Who’s going to pay for it huh? You? Your father? Who?” I stop to smirk as he turns pale. He's in the bag now I think to myself as I close in. Poking his chest I continue to yell, “If you don’t tell me who told you there was a dungeon called Winowna here I will call the guards! I’ll Tell them you tried to kill me.”
“I-I’m Sorry sir. I thought this was my master shack, he lives in the big castle up the hill. Just send him the bill and he’ll pay for the damages. Sorry!” He stammers as he runs out.
Sitting back on a crate I giggle at how he ran away, maybe being male does have perks. Tired of waiting in the shack and no longer safe from prying eyes, I decide to leave. I’ve been outside plenty of times with Wilbur, I wouldn’t get lost.
Walking into the bazaar I suddenly realize that I don’t have much money. When Wilbur went to the bazaar with me, he would always buy me some fruit kabobs and candies. Sighing, I start walking to the business district. I should be able to get a job for now. Maybe the inn or maybe one of the taverns should be hiring. Walking into the first inn I look around at the unfamiliar interior. I try to imitate how Wilbur used to act in these places.
Slowing my gate, I try to walk with a limp. Slowly making my way to the counter, I smile at the uncomfortable receptionist. “Hi, how may I help you today,” she says while trying to smile. I lean against the counter like Wilbur always does and start what Wilbur calls his sales pitch. “How about this, you hire me and I’ll work here whenever I’m free? No? Doesn’t match your tastes? How about this, I can even work the nights but I won’t charge more than the standard wage. How about it huh? I’m pretty good at what I do?” I say with a slight lisp.
Dumbfounded, the receptionist, slowly at first, disappears into the back room. I chuckle as I wait. ‘She probably went to get my uniform. Wilbur’s method always works, all I have to do is ask a lot of questions rapidly.’ I think to myself.
As I lean on the counter with one of my arms a huge male human comes out of the back room. He gives me the meanest glare and rests his hands on the counter and leans on it just like me. “Listen, young man. First of all, all our workers are females. It gets the customers willing to pay. Second, you can be doing those kinds of things in our establishment. We don’t condone any type of hustler in here. Please leave.” he grumbles.
Slightly intimidated by the man, I leave. I swear. Wilbur’s methods never work when I’m alone. I remember when I was ten, I tried to take candy from a baby. Wilbur always seemed to be able to replace it with some sort of rubbish shiny rock but when I tried to replace it with a large and uniform brick the mother called the guards on me.
Thinking back to the scary man’s words, I realize the problem wasn’t necessarily Wilbur’s method but my gender. That man said girls get the customers willing to pay. That means I can just turn into a girl and then get a job.
Of course, why didn’t I think of that? If the human males were genetically made to be stronger then the females should be stronger in tasks that require less strength.