Rolling over, I rub my eyes and push myself up. Looking around, I remember that I got a job. Sighing, I push the hair out of my face and look around the room. This is my room I think to myself. It’s not much, but it is more than what I had as a dungeon. The fact of the matter is that I am not sure if I’m better off having a better room and not being a dungeon or vice versa.

Both situations allow me to get a comfy bed and pillow eventually but I feel like the person I am right now is much more free. No dungeon laws. No obligations, and no curfew. The only downside is that I don’t have anyone with me. Thinking back to yesterday, wasn’t I supposed to wait for Wilbur’s acquaintance? I’m not sure if this is better than adventuring around the world, but at least I don’t have an obedience seal placed on me.

Just because I’m an omnipotent dungeon doesn’t mean that you need to seal my will! I am perfectly capable of controlling my actions! I took my first step to independence, I got a job. Shifting off the comfortable bed, I fold the covers and tidy the sheet. “I’ll be back tonight,” I whisper to my pillow before stretching and leaving the room.

With the first signs of dawn visible from the hallway window, I make it to the bathroom. Suddenly, a chill goes down my spine. Turning around, I see Thomas watching me from the end of the hallway. “Good morning miss Winona! This side of the inn is insulated for sound so don’t worry about waking any of the guests.” he beams as he approaches.

‘It’s that smile again’ I think to myself. It’s not malicious but it’s not all in my best interests. Just what could he want now? Thinking back to the various things Wilbur taught me, I remember one day that Wilbur tricked his wife and occupied the restroom first. Narrowing my eyes I watch as Thomas creeps towards me. His legs suspiciously close together and his knees bending inwards. His face sweating with exertion and his hands clammier than seafood.

Seafood is normally firm and shiny when fresh but quickly gets slimy and unpalatable when unfit for consumption. Just like Thomas! He probably wanted to use the bathroom! Putting on my best smile, I say, “Good morning boss! I’ll just be using the bathroom for a moment.” Slamming the door shut, I lock it and listen as I hear the sound of something falling onto the floor.

Nodding with satisfaction, I start off by washing my face. It’s not as efficient as just restoring my initial state but that leaves mana residues which can indicate my race. Can’t have that now can I? Picking up a stick of Lona bark, I start gnawing on it. Apparently in this region, since water is a limited resource, many different methods to go accomplish without water have been adopted. Lona bark is just one of those adoptions, it acts like a fibrous gum that secretes antibiotic fluids.

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The best part is that it tastes like licorice so most people prefer it to water. Getting my jaws to dig deeper into to bark, I start to excrete all the excess nutrients and wastes from my hands. Ejecting them in the form of sludge, I hold my head away. I really don’t understand, why do people think this is normal? I mean shouldn’t they try to adapt the dungeon way of life and waste less matter? Not only is this tedious, but it also stinks! Ejecting the last bits of sludge, I finish up by rubbing a deodorizing powder in my underarms and sprinkling a bit everywhere else.

Another flaw, people start to stink without proper care. I mean I can relate as mold and unwanted colonies can develop inside our dungeons if we don’t maintain every square meter properly but this is just ridiculous.

Just as I turn to open the door and leave, I remember that I locked my boss out. Putting my best smile on I proudly open the door. He should praise me, right? I did show that I can outsmart him. Not only did I not let him trick me, I even upheld the most important rule of etiquette: Ladies First!

Stepping outside, I spot my boss laying on the ground groaning and beam. Puffing my chest out I wait for a compliment. He slowly gets up and wheezes while holding the wall. I’ll probably have to do something about him later. He might be sick, I mean humans aren’t this weak. Last I had heard, the shortest distance a human complained about was seven meters. The guy's grandma had asked him to bring him the beans and he asked his friend next door to come over to help him get it.

I can totally relate, Wilbur used to always ask me to get something and it was always too high. I couldn’t grow taller at the time so I always called the closet skeletons to help me. Wilbur did say that skeletons shouldn’t hide in his closet, but I decided it was necessary. I mean what's more important? Giving the poor skeletons a home or hanging his clothes?

Still waiting for him to praise me, I watch as he labors into the bathroom and locks it shut. Frowning at his lack of manners, I walk downstairs. It’s time to work! Reaching the lobby, I walk up to the nearest customer and politely ask, “Hi, I’m Winowna and I’d like you to give me your money now.” Seeing his confusion, I put on my best puppy dog eyes and tilt my head. This always works.

******

“Get out! Gods above, why am I surrounded by incompetent people! Wilbur, I’ll find her. Just give me a few days. She can’t have gone far.” a dashing young man pleads.

Wilbur, paces back and forth with a deep frown, “Something must have gone wrong. She… I mean it wouldn’t do something like this. I don’t even know if it's she or he now! The problem isn’t whether she went far or not, it’s her interpersonal skills.”

Curious, the young man asks, “What do you mean Wilbur? She stayed with you for 19 years! I doubt even the most useless fellow wouldn’t pick up a few things from you.”

Sighing, Wilburs says, “That’s what I regret, she picked up a bit too much. No matter what I taught her, she seemed to be learning something else entirely. One time, I showed her that it’s polite to open the door for another person. The person just happened to be female. Ever since, she has ardently followed that ladies should go first. Not only does she disregard any and all males waiting in any line, but she cuts to the front saying she is also a lady.”