“Something about that question doesn’t feel hypothetical.” Brier’s voice grew quiet. “Is there a future where you let me walk away?”
“Is this dungeon considered part of the Antennae Alliiance?” As I waited for his response, I focused on his heartbeat and breathing, which were steadily climbing.
“It is.”
I sucked on my lip for a second. Why did you say that? “All you had to say was it wasn’t, then I would’ve believed you and left you alive. But because you said that, I don’t have a choice anymore. Why didn’t you lie?” I clenched my fists as I was again reminded that I do not have tear ducts to cry from.
He sighed. “Because it feels like it’s my fate. There’s no sense in fighting fate. All it does is make things worse for you. I ran from androids who would’ve killed me, looking for a way to return the bounty and beauty of nature to my world. I don’t stand a chance against you, so why bother?”
He threw his staff to the side, away from me. “What are the chances that an android, something I hadn’t seen in the Soul Nexus up to this point, would find and be ordered to kill a faction I happened to be associated with? I’m destined to die; all life is. But one's death is supposed to be a bed for new life. If I’m going to die, I want it to serve a purpose.”
He turned his head toward me. “At least tell me why you are doing this. You obviously don’t want to do it.”
I pulled my legs tighter to my chest. “Because I’m a prisoner who’s afraid of the punishment she’ll receive if she doesn’t do what she’s told. I unleashed a monster into the Nexus. Now that monster holds my existence in her hands.”
“What punishment can she give? Are you that afraid of death?” he asked.
I turned my head toward him. “There are fates worse than death.” The dryad visibly shuddered at my answer. “Have you ever watched your body be physically remade against your will? Do you know what it’s like to know that your existence will be replaced by someone else, and all you can do is watch it slowly happen? Do you know what it’s like to be trapped and slowly brainwashed to love the person doing all of that?” My voice rose with each question.
But I wasn’t angry with him; I was angry at myself. “Then after all that, she threatened those closest to me. She’s twice as powerful as me and growing. She wants to dominate everything. Just owning isn’t enough for her. She wants to control every aspect of everyone’s existence.”
Brier’s voice shook as he asked, “How does my death play into that? Why does everyone in the Antennae Alliance have to die?”
I clenched my jaw. “Because she sees your lives as nothing more than her playthings as she toys with me. She knows that I don’t want to do this. I think she wants me to fail or try to run. Because if I do, then she can inflict whatever sadistic horror to break me. But if I go through with it, it shows her that I’m compliant. Then she uses rewards to get me addicted to doing what she wants.”
He swallowed hard. “Are you sure living is your best option? If you die, this will all be over.”
I shook my head. “No. A whole new, fresh, hellish torment awaits me there. And if I die, nobody will be able to stop her. I’m the only one who knows how her body works and what it’s capable of. I’m the only one who even has a hope of stopping her. I just need to be strong enough.”
“I thought you said not all problems can be solved with power,” he said.
Touche. “You’re right. But unfortunately, against overwhelming power and insatiable greed, there is little choice. Especially since time is not on my side. The longer this goes on, more people will be caught up in her power trip—people like you and the rest of the Antennae Alliance.”
Brier went back to looking straight ahead. “I see your point.” There was a long pause. "So, can you do it? Can you grow powerful enough to stop this person? Will my death help?”
We suggest you tell him yes. It will give him some small measure of peace and closure.
“I have to try,” I answered. “Yes, your death will help. But it won’t be enough. I doubt the entire Antennae Alliance will be enough. It’s going to require more drastic measures.”
Brier nodded. “Do you think you can take on this entire floor by yourself? Your body is strong, but your mind isn’t. I can feel the hesitation.” He grabbed my head and forced me to look into his plant eyes. “Swear to me that you will succeed—you will make my death worth it. If you do, I will tell you how to reach their base.”
I tried to turn my head away.
He held my head firm. “No, I want you to look at me when you say it. I want you to look at me when you do it. You need to remember my face. Because if you don’t, I want it to haunt you until the day you die.”
I suppressed the growing anxiety and guilt. “I will. Not just for me, not for my sisters, not just for you, but for everyone. She will not leave this floor alive.”
Brier smiled and nodded. “Do it.”
My stinger arm slid into the base of his skull and into his head. I turned my ears off so I didn’t have to hear his heart stop. His body went limp, and I gently placed it on the ground. I received 5 more stats and 576,515 shards.
He didn’t deserve that. He was a good person.
He chose to give himself to save others.
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And sentence others to death. But what do you know about what he thought I was—a blade devil? I asked the question to avoid thinking about what I’d just done.
Blade devils are known for their speed, lethality, and disturbing intelligence. They are highly evolved predators, even among devils. Blade devils are humanoid in form, standing between seven and nine feet tall. The most distinctive feature of a Blade Devil is the array of bladed appendages that protrude from their limbs and torso. Their eyes are multi-faceted and glow with a distinctive crimson light.
Blade devils are known for their ability to move at blinding speeds and for using their blades to cut through most other metals. Their agility makes them nearly impossible to hit, and their attacks are typically fatal in one strike. They have been recorded taking down groups of heavily armed warriors in mere moments.
And he thought I was one? I mean, yeah, I have six blades, but I’m not some kind of murder machine; I have a conscience.
Maybe if you were to see one, you would see the resemblance.
Can you show me one with my projectors?
No. We do not possess any visual data of one.
I looked down at Brier’s still-dead corpse. Killa’s words about what makes the most powerful spells repeated themselves in my mind. Be honest, how different from one of these demons am I? Are they strong?
They are in the upper tiers of devils. But you would need to find someone to summon one, and we do not know if that is possible in the Soul Nexus. Are we correct in estimating you want to create a shadow form of one like you have your werewolf form?
Yes. My lycan form isn’t strong enough. I need something to match or exceed Elveil’s griffon form.
This is the definition of becoming something you are not. You were able to create the lycan form spell because you saw an alternative version of yourself as a werewolf. That means you knew you could be a werewolf, both physically and mentally.
Devils are chaotic, and blade devils are especially murderous. You don’t like killing. Brier’s death is filling you with guilt. The mentality of a blade devil is the complete opposite of your own. This plan will not work unless you can shift your mentality to match one.
Orange, I have to kill an entire base of people who haven’t done anything wrong! That kind of mentality is almost required since I will probably have to do it again or something even worse than that. Is there a way I can, I don’t know, flip a switch and change to that kind of personality?
Orange didn’t respond.
I forced myself into a simulation and stood in a hotel room. Orange was standing in her maid outfit with her back turned to me.
I ran up to her and grabbed her shoulder. “Orange, is there a way?”
“There is,” she mumbled. Orange was showing emotions like a real person. It was like the realization of having a soul woke up that side of her. “We don’t want to. It’s dangerous and could lead to long term physiological damage.”
I threw all four arms out wide. “And letting Elveil attempt to brainwash me for longer won’t. You know how desperate things are.”
Orange refused to look me in the eye. “Rina, we’re having feelings or emotions; we don't know. They're alien to us. Your caring and selflessness are two of your better traits. If we tell you, and you are successful in creating a secondary personality, there will be some crossover. You will change, and we don’t believe it will be for the better.”
I dropped my arms before tilting my head. “That emotion is called fear.”
Orange finally turned toward me, her normally composed demeanor nowhere to be found. “We fear the consequences, Rina. What if you lose yourself in the process? What if the shift becomes permanent? These aren’t simple emotions to toggle on and off.”
I lowered my head. “I don’t have much of a choice, Orange. If I don’t get stronger—if I don’t find a way to become what I need to be—there won’t be anything left to protect.”
She shrank back. “The power of a blade devil is tempting, but it’s absolute in its brutality. But, it's not you. You have always fought for control, for your identity. This isn’t a battle you win with force alone.”
I exhaled slowly. “What if I lose? What happens when Elveil wins and I become her puppet? I don’t want that fate. You don’t want that fate.”
Orange hesitated. “There’s a method—one that allows you to create a distinct personality within yourself. But this isn’t just a split in thought. You’d be giving that other side autonomy when triggered. It would be powerful, ruthless, but separate from the you who exists now. Once unleashed, it might be difficult to pull it back.”
I stepped closer, forcing myself to meet her eyes. “I need that.” Then I grabbed her and pulled her into a hug. “I know you’re scared. And honestly, so am I. We need a fast solution.”
“We… could create a mental compartment for this new side of you.” Her voice quivered as she shrank more within my arms. “It would be like a locked room in your mind, something you only access in times of need. But it comes with a risk. It might not let go once it has control, and you won’t be able to get it back.”
“I’ll take that risk,” I whispered. “I have to.”
Orange turned her head away. “There’s got to be another way. We don’t want to do this.”
I held her tighter. “There is another way, but you already turned that down. One of us has to be the monster, and since you won’t take control, I have to split myself to create another monster.”
Orange returned the hug and held tighter than I was. Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Then we will help you. But please, Rina… don't lose sight of who you are.”
I used my stinger arms to rub her back. “I won’t, Orange. I promise. But right now, I have to survive. We have to survive. You can start any time you’re ready.”
“We can’t,” she said. “Not yet. We need the memories of a blade devil. Then we subject you to the worst of them after we copy your entire mind and put it in a safe place.”
I pushed her away. “So where can we get memories of a blade devil?”
Orange’s usually composed self returned as she held her hands in her lap. “There are two methods. One, you can collect a blade devil’s brain and, through the bioelectric absorption augment, map it out and recreate it in your own mind. Or, we find one of the Soul Nexus’s nodes labeled Gary and see if we can download it from them.”
“One of those sounds much easier than the other.”
She nodded. “Correct. Finding Gary would be the simplest. Kuljack might be able to assist, expediting the search.”
I smiled. “Thanks, Orange, for doing this. I trust you to help me and pull me out of this if I fall too deep. And if you ever need help with your emotions, I’d be more than happy to help you.”
Orange’s cheeks turned red as she stuttered, “Thank you. I’m feeling a new one. It’s like everything is lighter, but there was no extra mass gained or lost.”
I giggled. “That's a relief.”
She hugged me. “We like your hugs. Can we ask for more?”
I hugged her back. “Any time.”
I ended the simulation after hugging Orange for several minutes. When my awareness returned, I was again staring at Brier’s corpse. I guess I can’t distract myself anymore. But it seems I’m getting a plan together. It’s time to go make another monster.
As I walked to the exit of the room, I turned back to Brier. “I will make your death worth it, I promise.”