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V3.38 Painful Lessons

Ice covered my entire body. Even my newly magic-resistant hair was covered in ice. There were extra layers on my stinger arms, leg scythes, and arm blades.The ice was noticeably sharper than my blades. How did she get ice under my skin and inside my body like this?

Although I knew it, I still extended my arm blades and stared at the frozen crystals. I looked up into Aquantula’s eye. “What are you?”

“I am Aquantula, the kraken demigod of Taunerth.” The grandeur of her voice more than cemented the truth of her words for me.

“How are you here?” Shadara asked. “You haven’t been climbing the Nexus with us. And who are you to Killa? What gives you the right to punish her so barbarically?”

A heavy pressure pushed down on us. While I could barely stand, Shadara didn’t show it was affecting her. The pressure only grew as Aquantula spoke. “Know your place, mortal. Some of your questions are better directed at Killa. Would you even believe me if I told you the answers? Would your distrust not blind you?”

Shadara, still standing tall, crossed her arms while I fell to my knees. “Try me.”

Aquantula chuckled. “You have some courage. I like that. Fine. It’s because of the pact we made. A small piece of my power is attached to her soul. It allows me to watch her. Every time she slips up, she calls me to push her back on track.”

“But how do you appear here? Why do you inflict pain on Killa?” Shadara swept a hand toward Killa.

“Yes, I would also like to know how you poked a hole through my realm?” Another voice preceded the appearance of a man-shaped galaxy.

“The Nexus?” My words were barely audible.

Shadara’s fur stuck out in all directions. She started making incoherent sounds until the Nexus’s hand went up and closed into a fist. All sounds stopped coming from her.

“Silence you.” He lowered his hand. “Speak intruder. Explain why you are breaking my rules.”

The darkness receded, revealing a colossal squid larger than some skyscrapers on Earth, with numerous tentacles three times longer than that. “If you think you are untouchable, I’m about to shatter your sad little corner of an existence. There are powers far beyond you that have their eye on you. You have power far beyond your station.”

Killa didn’t stir; it was probably as close to sleeping as she gets.

“I’ve blocked beings from my realm that would crush your demigods and gods.” The Nexus marched up to the base of Aquantula as he pointed to her. “You are disrupting the balance by giving the slime unapproved assistance. Can you prove that you are not augmenting her results?”

He’s worried about balance? “You’ve admitted to me and the game master that you are artificially adjusting the difficulty so no one could succeed again. If anyone is guilty of disrupting the balance, it’s you.”

The Nexus slowly turned to face me. “That was for survival.”

“You’re making up rules and breaking them as it suits you.” I would have had bile climbing my throat if my stomach still worked. Instead, I continued. “Even though I didn’t know this as a fact, I believe The Game Master created you to be a game.” A high-stakes, twistedly demented game. “Games have rules for fairness so that any player can win. What you’ve done is strip that away. This is no longer a game, it’s a death sentence. You need to be stopped.”

The outline of the Nexus form glowed a deep crimson. “I should never have made that deal. Your mind was already made up. This game was lost before it started. He gets what he wants—my death.”

“That’s incorrect,” Aquantula interrupted. “This Game Master, if his name is anything to go by, is giving you a second chance.”

“She’s right.” I let my arms lay limp on my back and sides. “There’s a way you can live through this. When you described how you wanted more from your existence, I felt genuinely sorry for you. Everything you’ve done has been because you want to live. I couldn’t help but see how similar our situations are. Saying you aren’t allowed to live felt like it was saying I was not allowed to live.”

The air grew thinner as the Nexus voice grew softer. “Are you saying you want me to live? Will you spare me?”

I opened my mouth and closed it silently. My words failed to manifest because I failed to find what I wanted to say.

“You’re this realm’s ruler.” Aquantula’s voice had softened too as she continued. “There are gods who use fear to hold their position. Others use love. The same is true with kings, emperors, presidents, chiefs, and other leaders. How you rule is entirely up to you. However, there are always consequences to your rulings. This realm and its promise of a wish build hope. It is hope that draws people here like moths to a flame. When everything you do crushes that hope, something must replace it.”

The krakens’ voice grew more somber. Resentment builds in place of hope. That same resentment fosters hatred. They then focused that hatred on you, the one who crushed their hope.

The Nexus crossed his arms. “Are you saying that I should make things easy? Should I just be handing out reality altering wishes for free?”

Aquantula shook her body. “Not at all. Requiring wishes to be earned is not wrong. If you hand them out for nothing, it will cause more harm and chaos than good. People will need to see that they can succeed though.”

Shadara glared at the starry figure but still couldn’t make a sound.

The Nexus pointed to Shadara. “I have seen mortals like her turn on each other at the slightest opportunity. How can I let them even have a chance to kill me? There is no guarantee they will spare me either. The rules of the wish cannot be altered.”

I waved towards Killa and Shadara. “You changed the system. Some part of you wants people to succeed now.“

“Both you and the vampire have grown too powerful too quickly,” the Soul Nexus began. “There was a reason I did not include a system for shards to buy powers in the upgrade. But adding classes has already increased the backstabbing and power hungry chaos more than expected. Some classes are being abused and will have to be removed, like the slime’s Limitless Devourer. Oversights were made, and I will purge the mistakes. But now mortals have only shown why they should never have power, let alone a wish.”

Several of Aquantula’s tentacles wrapped around Killa’s body. “You will not touch her. She is mine. Along with other gods, I have worked to keep those who would abuse you away. There are powers you are helpless against. There is a reason only mortals have crossed into your realm, and it’s not because of the defenses you have put up. You claimed I am disrupting the balance by giving Killa power she shouldn’t have. That is incorrect. If anything, I’ve only held her back, as I have made sure she doesn’t grow beyond a certain size. If her growth is left unchecked, Killa will consume entire floors. Your precious balance is preserved because of me.”

Her body leaned in close to the nexus’s avatar. “You are welcome. And some advice: You attract sharks with blood, flies with honey, and thieves with gold.”

There was a long moment of silence before the Nexus spoke again. “Leave and don’t come back.”

He vanished without saying another word. I scratched the back of my head, which was still covered in ice. “What was that advice, and why give it to him?”

“Because a realm like this should continue. But that was the avatar of the Soul Nexus. The Soul Nexus needs a heart, or all inside it will perish.” She poked me in the chest with the tip of a tentacle. “You are in a unique situation. Take it seriously. If you believe the Soul Nexus needs to die, you can still do that. Just know there are consequences that affect more than just yourself.”

“Ah, finally.” Shadara traced her fingers along her neck. “That was rude. Anyway, why are you so concerned with the soul Nexus? How is any of this your concern? The Nexus is acting like a spoiled child. We must stop it.”

The tentacle that poked my chest waved itself in front of Shadara. “Selfishness is far from being reserved for children. And if the Nexus truly is childish, that means it can be corrected, as one should do with a child. I’m not beyond my selfishness either. Gods are often some of the most selfish. I get quite possessive, after all.”

One of her tentacles caressed Killa’s body. “And speaking of children, little doll, you’ve withstood my biting ice quite well. Do you not feel pain?”

“I don’t.” I shot Shadara a quick stare and a subtle shake of my head. I don’t know if she figured out what happened in the darkness the raccoon creature created, but Aquantula doesn’t need to know. “Was my punishment really supposed to hurt?”

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“Oh no, little doll.” The kraken chuckled. “We just got interrupted and sidetracked. You see, Killa can’t think coherently when she has too much mass. So, to return her mind to her, you’re going to remove mass from her.”

I looked at my ice-covered blades. “Then why cover me in ice?”

“So that Killa feels pain,” Aquantula answered nonchalantly.

My jaw dropped. “Do you want me to hurt Killa? How could you say that? Why?”

“It’s called a punishment.“ Aquantula answered coldly. “You will remember this moment and her anguish the next time you even think about feeding her magic again. Pain is a powerful deterrent and an unsurpassed reminder.”

Shadara jumped in front of me. “This isn’t a punishment; this is torture.”

Aqua shoved Shadara to the side. “Do you care for her? Do you want to see her give in to her sin? Will you let her keep making the same mistakes over, and over, and over again?“

Shadara pushed herself to her feet without taking her eyes off the kraken. “We’re sisters now, and, of course, I care for her. That’s why I won’t let you torture her.”

The air grew suffocatingly thick as the kraken grew larger. “You couldn’t stop me even if you tried. But know this, she is like a daughter to me. One day she will be my champion, and through me, if she wishes, she can reach divinity.”

Aquantula shrank back down. “This is because I love her and want what’s best for her. She can take it because this is for her own good.”

Shadara clammed up, but her clenched fist was shaking. I looked down at my ice-covered blades again. What did I agree to? How can she be so cruel and claim it’s for love?

I looked at Killa. One of Aquantula’s tentacles was gently stroking the top of her blobbed body. “No. I can’t agree to this.”

Aquantula stopped moving completely. The pupil of her enormous eye contracted as it focused on me. “What’s this? Are you refusing your punishment? Is the burden of responsibility too much?”

I stumbled away from her. “I can’t hurt her. If you want to hurt anyone, hurt me. I’ll take both of our punishments.”

“Do you want me to hurt someone who doesn’t feel pain?” Aquantula asked with no small amount of indignation. “Little doll, you’ve already offered yourself. How much pain Killa feels is up to you. But you can’t stop until eighty percent of her mass is gone.”

“Her name is Rina,” Shadara said with a growl.

“Rina?” The amusement in Aquantula’s voice froze my nanite blood. “So, she’s doing all this for you, a doll that pretends they are a person. Oh, that’s very interesting. But that still doesn’t change things. Either you do this willingly, or I make you.”

I stood my ground. There was no way I was going to hurt Killa.

Aquantula waved a tentacle in Killa’s direction. The ice all over my body pulled me closer to her. I tried to resist, but it was pointless.

As I then stood next to Killa, the ice on my arm blade lifted it up. She is going to make me hurt Killa like this? Every muscle in my body pulled away from her, but it did nothing. I couldn’t move away.

The arm blade dropped, cutting into Killa’s slime body effortlessly. Killa let out a shriek. My soul shattered into a million pieces. The ice forced me to cut Killa.

The ice was no longer pulling me. I don’t want to do this.

Aquantula’s voice filled my mind. “You wanted to take Killa’s pain. You’ve agreed to do this. Now finish this quickly, or I will make it take longer. It’s up to you.”

Shadara ran up and grabbed my arm. “You have to stop this.”

Against my will, Aquantula yanked my arm away from her. “She’s making me.“

My arm shot forward and started cutting into Killa again. Killa screamed as a chunk of her body hit the ground with a splat.

Shadara fell to her knees and covered her ears. “Stop, please, stop.”

“She can’t,” Aquantula said. “Killa has to learn this lesson the hard way. I’ve done this before, and each time she just forgets. Each time, the punishment is more severe.”

I coated my arm blades with my shadow magic and tried to resist Aquantula’s manipulation of my body. The ice just covered my magic and forced me to cut into Killa again. Her scream rose even higher, as if my magic had caused her even greater pain.

Tears should’ve poured from my eyes, but I couldn’t cry. Am I making this worse for her?

Aquantula’s voice boomed again. “Don’t make me force you. I will not allow you to give up. You knew this could happen when you offered yourself. You’re in this now. Don’t ruin this for Killa.”

Shadara grabbed my foot and started begging. “Please, Rina, please. You can’t do this. Killa doesn’t deserve this.”

Aquantula’s voice sounded like a whisper in my mind. “Finish this. I will allow you to explain this to her when she wakes up. If you don’t, I’ll do this myself.”

“No!” I shouted. “I’ll do it.”

“Good girl.” Aquantula sounded too happy.

Shadara doubled in size, and her hands grabbed both sets of mine, one in each hand. “Stop, Rina. I won’t let you.” There was a trickle of blood flowing from her nose.

“Shadara, stop. You’re hurting yourself. Killa needs help.” I tried to pull away, but Shadara’s grip was too strong.

Shadara leaned in close to me. “I know! But you don’t have to hurt her to do it. Get rid of the ice, and don’t use your shadow magic. Your blades alone will cut her without her feeling pain. She doesn’t have to suffer.”

I hung my head. “I can’t. Aquantula is too powerful. She’s a demigod.”

Shadara’s head shifted from her usual panther-like face to a more canine one. “Then let me try.” Her voice was hoarse, and there was a heavy rattle to it as her ears also started leaking blood.

An orange glow grew from in between her teeth. She opened her mouth, and flames sprayed out. It covered us and Killa. I felt the ice on my arm blades refuse to melt away.

Aquantula’s voice filled my head again. “Enough. I’ve let this go far enough.”

Shadara’s body went limp and dropped to the ground as she returned to normal. I caught her with a free arm.

“Admirable of her to try, but she shouldn’t have tried.“ Aquantula‘s voice held genuine sorrow. “Finish this and let her explain. It will mean more if it comes from her.”

I placed Shadara against a wall gently. There’s nothing left to do.

We suggest that you use your lycan form.

Orange’s suggestion caught me off guard. That will only hurt her more.

In the short term, yes. But think of it like ripping off a band-aid. The sooner you remove it, the less pain you will feel. A short spike of pain is easier to deal with than long, drawn-out suffering. The demigod won’t stop, so take control of what you can and make this less painful for her.

I bit my lip. My computer brain calculated the fastest I could remove the required amount of mass and how. Like ripping off a band-aid.

I released the shadow magic from my arm blades and let them return to normal. I then coated my body and activated my lycan form spell. Aquantula’s magic again covered me in ice, especially my claws. With a single motion, I sliced across Killa’s body. It felt like my heart was being ripped out.

Aquantula‘s voice sang in my ears. “Very good.”

My claws glowed with the pale blue from the ice before I slashed Killa again. I repeated this process as quickly as I could. Killa screamed for every slash. I’m sorry.

Slash after slash, scream after scream, pieces of Killa’s body went flying. Every movement was calculated with the highest efficiency. I wanted to waste no time.

I carved Killa down to the size of one of the large cats. Aquantula gently scooped her up with a tentacle.

Orange‘s voice sounded on the edge of my mind. This isn’t your fault. It’s the demigod’s. Don’t forget that.

The ice over my claws vanished as my lycan form ended. I dropped to my knees. It is. I’m the one who did this. I’m the one who hurt her. It is all my fault. If I had never gone along with her request, none of this would’ve happened.

“Thank you, Rina.” Killa’s voice pulled me from the abyss of depression that threatened to swallow me. She flowed down to the ground from around Aquantula’s tentacles. “I heard everything. I know you were just trying to help me. Thank you for that. I promise not to ask you to do anything like that again. My appetite got the better of me again. I don’t want to hurt you again.”

She formed into her usual busty human form and hugged me, rubbing her hands on my back. “You’re a good person, Rina. I’m lucky to have found you. You did what you had to. I was out of control.”

Despite the warmth of her hug, I felt the weight of the horrors of my actions pressing on my soul. “I don’t know, Killa. I... I hurt you. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for that.”

Killa pulled back slightly, looking into my eyes with a resolve that surprised me. “We all make mistakes, Rina. But we learn from them, grow stronger. You’ve saved me from mine. There’s nothing to forgive because that was the medicine I needed.”

Aquantula’s voice, softer now, intruded on our moment. “Remember, little doll, every action has consequences. But also remember that redemption is possible. Learn from this and become better.” Aquantula’s tentacles withdrew, and her enormous eye blinked slowly. “I look forward to seeing your growth, Rina. Prove to me that this pain was not in vain.”

She’s right; there’s no way I will ever forget this moment. And there’s no way I can forgive her either. “I will show you Killa doesn’t need you again.”

Killa shook her head. “I don’t know if that’s possible anymore. I’m an addict who can’t stop gorging herself on every new experience.”

“What you need is discipline,” Aquantula added.

Killa’s body shook as she stepped away from me. “I can’t stop myself from doing it. I don’t know why, I just can’t stop.”

“I know why.” Aquantula grabbed Killa with a tentacle and lifted her up. “Because you are a glutton. You always have been, and you always will be. It’s in your nature. You aren’t in control of your appetite right now. It’s something you need to master on your own. But it is something you can master.”

“You’re right. I can’t stop. It’s too hard for me.“ Killa’s voice sounded small.

Aquantula’s eye narrowed. “That’s why you have me. You’re mine, Killa. You’ll always be mine. And I will help you through this. Each time you fail, I will be there to pull you back.“ Aquantula wrapped several of her tentacles around her and pulled her close to her body. “I will never let you go, no matter how many times you fall.”

Killa extended herself to hug the kraken. “I know. Thank you.”

Aquantula was telling the truth. Not that she had any reason to lie, but some of it felt a little too farfetched for me. But in the end, I can’t agree with Aquantula’s methods. “I’m with the Soul Nexus on this one; I don’t want to see you ever again.”

Killa’s eyes bulged as she turned to me.

Aquantula just chuckled. “That is entirely up to Killa, and you, by some measure. If she never needs me, then I won’t return. You had best make sure she never gets too big again.”

The kraken placed Killa to the ground and gave the slime woman a gentle caress of the cheek with a tip of her tentacle. “Behave. Hopefully, when I see you next time, you will have your wish granted.”

I could feel her attention shift to me. “As for you, Rina, I’m not angry with you, nor do I blame you for what you said. I’ve heard variations of your story before. Whether it was a doll or a puppet, it always had a happy ending. I hope you find your happy ending.”

Her body shimmered and disappeared as the darkness receded, and we were again in the crystal cavern, alone.

I will never understand her. The Nexus has both made me kill, had those I thought were friends hurt me, hurt those closest to me, and made me hurt them too. I’m starting to see why people climb the Soul Nexus alone. Maybe I should spare them more pain later and leave. It would break their hearts and mine, but maybe it saves them a worse fate later. Just like ripping off a band-aid.