When Noah and Jayden came home from school, their dad was waiting for them on the couch.

"Hey dad." Noah said, to his father.

"Hello boys! How was school?" Noah's dad said in a manner that gave away how much he was trying to get them to notice him.

"What do you want, freak?" Jayden said.

Noah's dad only ever waited for them after school when he needed to talk with them, if he needed money, or if he was in trouble with the mafia again. So Jayden already knew to expect something stupid from from him.

"Don't worry Jayden, I think my woman disguise was enough to trick even the mafia." Noah's dad said, winking.

"Don't tell me that, that's embarrassing."

"I'm just here to tell you, your mom is visiting home from overseas tonight! So, we're going to cook a extremely special meal for her."

Noah and Jayden looked at each other. They loved it when their mom came to visit. But it wasn't worth it to have to spend the whole day cooking with their dad, they just wanted to see their mom.

"And why are we doing it? Do it yourself." Jayden said. "Yeah, I'm glad that mom is coming home, but I have a lot of homework to do. Also you don't know how to cook so, don't even try? Just get pizza like you've been doing all these years."

"Well, fine. You don't have to." His dad disappointedly turned to Noah, "So will you help me, favorite son?" His dad batted his eyes.

"No. I promised to go to Jason's house to help him with his homework. Plus I'm not even your favorite son. Just tell Jayden to call me when mom gets here." Noah said, half looking at his phone, half at his dad.

"Goddamn you two. I ask for one thing, and this is what I get!" Their dad whined.

"What?! You ask for things constantly! Just last week me and Noah had to bail you out of jail! It was about twenty thousand dollars!" Jayden argued.

"Well, please? I won't ask for anything more." Their dad begged.

"No."

"Dad I gotta go, Jason is waiting for me. So, see ya?" Noah said, walking towards the door.

His dad grabbed his arm and stopped him. "Nope! You're not allowed! Get in the kitchen!" Noah just kinda stared at him. His dad stared back at him. He was grossly sweaty, like if he didn't know how Noah was going to react.

"What? You can't tell me what to do." Noah said, nonchalantly. "Also don't fucking touch me."

"What makes you think you can talk to me that way?" Their dad said, in a non-threatening way. Noah's dad is the least bit scary or commanding. He's definitely not fit to be a father or fit to be the man in charge. Even Noah would be a better dad than him."Please! Just help me!" Their dad whined, "you can bring Jason here, and help the both of us at once!"

"That's a dumb idea. But if it'll get you to stop fucking whining then fine." Noah said, as he walked out the door to go to Jason's house.

"Noah, I'm gonna go with you. I don't want to be left alone with him." Jayden said, as he followed Noah.

They went over to Jason's house. They knocked on his door. Jason came to answer it.

"Hey Noah. Jayden, what are you doing here?" Jason said when he answered the door.

"Shoot me.” Noah said.

"What?”

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"Sorry but we're going to study at my house, my dad's being weird so don't pay attention to him."

"Oh that's Okay, I'll get my homework then"

"It's really not okay."

The boys went back to Noah's house, and went inside.

"Oh hello are you Jason? I'm Noah's wonderful father, Antony." His father said, shaking Jason's hands.

"Um, hi." Jason said.

"Don't shake his hand Jason, that freak doesn't wash them." Jayden said, pushing his dad away.

Noah showed Jason to the table. They were about to get started when Noah's dad decided to interrupt.

"Can you go over to the neighbors house, it seems we don't have flour, and uh, Jayden go with Noah. It's harder to kidnap you that way." He said.

"Dad, I have to help jason." Noah argued. "You can't just keep bothering me."

"It's fine, you have to listen to him. He is your dad after all." Jason said.

"He's barely even my dad. For all I care, he basically just fucked my mom, and gave her a mistake." Holy crap Noah.

"Hey." Jayden said.

"Oh sorry, two mistakes"

"Oh my god, Noah!" Jason did not believe what just came out of Noah's mouth.

"Okay, I don't actually think Jayden is mistaken, but he wants to be included."

Jayden nodded.

"Hey, you little shit, I'm right here. Anyways, just go get the damn flour." His dad said, going back to look for ingredients in the pantry.

"Fine, come on Jayden." Noah said, practically dragging Jayden out with him.

They went across the street to Miss. John's house.

"Why hello boys! What do you need?" She greeted them. She was dressed in yoga clothing.

"Can we Borrow your flour?" Noah asked.

"Of course." She walked back into her house, and then came back out with a bag of flour.

"Thank you." Noah said, about to turn back to his side of the street.

"By the way, how's your dad? I've missed him."

"He's fine."

As they walked back, Jayden saw someone familiar. It was a woman wearing sunglasses, she was smoking a cigarette, and standing on the end of the street. She was dressed in a black dress and a leather jacket. She had a gun in her hand.

"Noah. Is that mom?" Jayden asked, in surprise. Noah looked over at the woman.

"Oh my God it is." Noah said. They walked up to her. She was surprised to see her children, I mean it's not like they live in this neighborhood or anything.

"Mom, what are you doing here? I thought you were gonna come later tonight." Jayden said, obviously confused.

"Oh yeah. That's what I told your dad." She said, taking a breath out of her cigarette, and blowing it into the air. "I'm just working right now."

"Working? what exactly are you doing?"

She threw the cigarette on the ground, and crushed it under her foot.

"Look honey, don't tell your father, but I'm a hitman. It's my actual job. I'm not just a military nurse like he thinks. I'm here to catch Slim Dick A, he's been said to be hiding near the neighborhood."

"How the fuck?"

"Don't worry hon. It's just because I have to make money somehow. You know your dad doesn't have a job. So I do work for the mafia." She paused. "You know your grandparents?"

"Yeah?"

"They have their own organization. But your dad thinks I quit the organization and became a military nurse. But in reality I've been working for the family."

"That's a lot to take in!" Noah chimed in.

"Look, just don't tell your dad. He's... Sensitive."

"Alright, we like hiding things from dad. Let's just go for now Noah. We'll see you mom." Jayden said.

They hugged her before walking back towards their house.

"Bye mom!" Noah said, following Jayden.

Their mom just smiled, and pulled out another cigarette.

They walked back to the house. When they got inside, Jayden started asking his dad questions, mostly just to intimate him.

"Is mom related to the Mafia in any way? Just asking."

"Oh, uh yeah? How do you know this?" Anthony looked panicked.

"I didn't. But do tell me more."

"You know your grandpa Ivan? He's like a Mafia boss. But your mom's not part of it, she's just a military nurse."

"I didn't know about any of that." Jayden said that in a fake surprised voice. "Aren't the Mafia the one that's always trying to kill you?"

"Yes, but they don't know it's me they're chasing, they think it's some guy named Slim Dick A"

Jayden looked at his father in utter confusion. He looked at Noah. Noah gave him the, we shouldn't tell him the Mafia is close to catching up to him. Let's just let the Mafia deal with him, Look.

"Anyways, you guys were right. I don't know how to cook so you guys are in charge of dinner." He started walking towards the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Across the street. Just got a message that Miss Johns needs help with something."

"Aren't you going to wait for mom?"

"I'll come around the time she shows up." He opened the door then walked out.

"That dickhead. I guess I'll just order pizza." Jayden said, grabbing his phone, and dialing a number. Noah sat down next to Jason.

"I'm really sorry about this. My dad is being a weirdo." Noah sighed.

"It's fine." Jason seemed a little tense.

"What's wrong? Did my dad say something to you while we were gone?" Noah said, getting closer to Jason's face.

Jason looked down at his paper. "No, come on, let's just get this homework done with."

"Okay."

Their dad came back three hours later. He was sweaty, and his hair was a mess. He looked disgusting.

"Dad, you look disgusting. What the hell did she have you do?" Jayden asked, " you know what, I don't care. The pizza is cold now, and it's your fault." Jayden was not in the mood to talk to his dad.

"Is she here yet?" Their dad asked.

"Not yet."

Then a knock came from the door. Noah answered it. It was their mother, and this time she wasn't in the clothing from before. She was dressed in a pink T-shirt, and blue jeans. She even had a flower clip in her hair.

"Hello guys, did you miss me?" She said as she entered the house.

Her husband came, and hugged her. She looked a little disgusted by him.

"Jasmin, I missed you! How are you?" He said to her.

"I'm great honey! But why do you look like that? Have you been skipping showers?"

"I was just doing some yard work."

"Oh okay..." She didn't sound completely convinced.

"Umm, I'm gonna go. See you guys later." Jason said getting up.

"No you should stay. You're Jason right? Noah talks about you." Noah's mom said smiling. "I'm sure he'd love it if you stayed."

******

Jason stayed for dinner. It was surprisingly nice and the cold pizza wasn't that bad either. He noticed everything was different as soon as Noah's mom was there, everyone was actually acting like a family.

After dinner was over, Noah walked Jason back to his house.

"Sorry my family is so weird." Noah said with a little laugh.

"It's fine, I honestly don't mind." Jason said, smiling back at Noah. "Nothing compares to your weirdness."

Noah chucked.

“You're always so patient with me." Noah stopped walking. Jason stopped too.

Noah looked into Jason's eyes. He put his hands on Jason's shoulder, and pulled him down and kissed Jason's cheek. Jason started blushing. his heart pounded. He was not expecting Noah to do something like that.

"Noah..." Jason said, holding his cheek.

"See you at school!" Noah was blushing too. He turned around quickly, and speed walked back to his house, not looking back. Why did I do that?! I'm an idiot! Noah thought, smiling