The root-man looked up at me, his brown-gray eyes widening slightly. "...Excuse me?"

"I really love the three paintings in our room. I want them to brighten my gloomy mornings as often as possible," I said. "Plus, Kathy seems really happy down here. I want to buy your Guild."

"Young... Master," Motrdem's stood up from his seat and then slid his chair over to sit across me. "My Guild is not for sale."

"Everything's for sale," I said. "You seem nice, even if you did try to stab my kitty. I'm a forgiving man though. How does nine thousand gold sound?"

"Nine... thousand gold?" Motrdem's root-beard twitched. "For my entire Guild? Including the building, contracts, employees and reputation built over centuries?"

"Eight thousand," I shrugged. "Your 'Guild' needs major repairs. Your employees are underfed. This tower is crumbling and your sign out front is crooked."

"I do believe this isn't how negotiations work." Motrdem said.

"Seven thousand," I pursed my lips. "That uptown Guild is obviously stealing all your clientele with their fancy white cathedral. Do better! Polish this place up till it's shiny!"

"You can't just keep lowering the price while criticizing my Guild," Motrdem protested, eyes flickering with irritation. "That's not how haggling works!"

"Six thousand," I said.

"Young Master, this Guild has been in my family for generations! We have contracts with every major criminal organization in Shandria! Decades of carefully cultivated relationships! You can't just..."

"Five thousand," I interrupted. "You're being annoying. Price is going down every time you annoy me. You do realize that we have a gate mage that can drop you and your entire building into another dimension and then summon another building from a nicer dimension to replace you? You're valuable to me as an individual with local connections and knowledge of Shandria. As long as you cooperate, you exist. I don't like this lack of cooperation."

Motrdem's face paled slightly, eyes darting to Io who was casually munching on interdimensional chips.

"You... wouldn't," the Guild Master said.

"Four thousand," I said. "Wouldn't what? Send you to a dimension where everything is made of paperclips? Pretty sure Io knows one of those."

"Six different ones actually," Io commented without looking up from his book. "The Paperclip Maximizer really did a number on those worlds."

"Three thousand," I continued.

"Wait!" Motrdem held up his dark hands. "Let's... be reasonable about this. Perhaps we could discuss a more... equitable arrangement? I can't just sell the Guild for so little... The Guild's finances are tied up at the moment with..."

"Two thousand," I said. "You're still talking, not seeing what I can offer to you."

"What can you offer?" The Guild Master looked at me, his hand twitching.

I put the Genesis fluid thermos on the table. "This. Give me the Guild tower with all of its employees and this will be yours to fund 'Guild's debts, employee salaries and repairs' for a century. Feel free to evaluate it with your Kitlix. One thousand."

Motrdem squinted at me as his Kitlix ran down his mane and then scanned the thermos. He choked, eyes growing wide.

"That's... that's impossible," he breathed. "The fluid... it's worth more than..."

"One copper. My final offer." I slid a copper over to the flabbergasted-looking Motrdem. "We'll install a permanent gate to our Earth in your basement too, courtesy of my Gate Weaving spiders. Interdimensional trade can be quite... the lucrative enterprise I hear. Arx Bank is profiteering on it now and could use a bit of competition."

"D-deal," Motrdem breathed out.

I screwed the cap back on and threw the thermos into his shaking hands. "All yours. Sell it across all of your wealthy contacts upstairs. Don't let anyone buy more than a single drop. Pretend it's suuuuper rare. Upgrade this place. Open up all of the mottled rooms, add about twenty thousand more rooms downstairs. Fix the tower. I want it spotless and armed to the teeth. Keep the creepy horse sign on the front, I like it. Mark the room with the big bed and three paintings as ours forever."

"Yes, my Lord," Motrdem nodded, switching gears instantly. "Twenty thousand rooms?"

"I want enough rooms to fit the entire population of Undertown," I said. "Whatever it is."

"It will take time and men," he said.

"Well then," I smiled. "You have the finances now to get started on that."

The Guild Master nodded. "I shall have a contract drawn immediately for the acquisition of my pub by..."

"Emerald Stratos," I grinned, sliding the bank card and the delver's license ID card over to my new Guild Master.

"Who is that...?" Motrdem blinked.

"What?!" Cinder choked on her third coffee cup. "You're buying this place in Em's name?!"

"Of course," I grinned. "The paperwork will show that Emerald Stratos purchased the Gloomy Horse tavern using her delver card. Motrdem here will backdate everything a couple of years back too. Preferably two hundred and fifty two years."

"That seems... oddly specific," Cinder commented.

"Oh it is," I nodded.

"Das how long we've been delving to Arx," Vespera commented at Cinder.

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"Who is this Emerald Stratos?" The Guild Master looked at me.

"Every self-respecting criminal organization needs a patsy," I smiled. "Someone to blame when the authorities inevitably show up and demand taxes to be paid for all of these fancy upgrades. Who else could have funded such sudden repairs if not an interdimensional delver and an incredibly wealthy dragon? Of course you and I know who your real owner is, yes? We don't need a contract for that, Morty. Copy the signature from her card, my trusty Guild Master. Mention Miss Stratos as the source of the overpriced magic fluid too, if anyone asks. Oh and have a patsy in disguise put a bit of money from silver fluid sales onto the card too! Password on it is 77896."

"A wise decision, my Lord," Motrdem bowed, bagging up Emerald's cards, the copper and the thermos. "I shall make the contract and begin selling the fluid drops at once."

He blessed me with a very creepy smile and vanished down the stairwell faster than I could blink.

"Oh my Gosh," Vee broke out into sobs of laughter. "I can't even with you! How?! How is this happening?! You're framing Em for funding an entire criminal organization?!"

"I had to compensate her misfortune somehow," I said. "Buying the poor darling this pub is the least I could do."

"You trust that man with... Genesis fluid?" Cinder asked.

"Of course," I grinned. "What's he going to do with it? Use it to print people? Pfff. Without you-know-what, it's just incredibly overpriced magical juice. The mages of Arx have no way of replicating its properties, but they can use it to amplify healing potions or whatever. My Guild Master be too busy selling drops of it to the richest criminals in Shandria to cause trouble. Nothing builds loyalty quite like making someone filthy rich."

"You're mental," Katherine commented. "Utterly and irrevocably so. And yet somehow it's working out for you."

"Thank you," I bowed slightly. "I try my best. Now, about that scale and hairball donation..."

"No," Katherine growled. "You're not eating my scales or fur."

"Pretty please?" I batted my eyelashes at her. "Just a tiny bit? For science?"

"No means no," Katherine's tail lashed. "I'm not contributing to your weird magical cannibalism experiments."

"But Vee did it," I pouted. "And look how well that turned out! I got Dreamwalking and everything!"

"Yeah, and nearly caused a magical disaster," Katherine pointed out. "Besides, I like you better without my powers. You're more... manageable this way."

"Manageable?" I arched an eyebrow. "Is that what you think I am?"

"You know what I mean," she growled. "The last thing we need is you getting access to fear auras and Umbramancy!"

"But think of the possibilities!" I protested. "We could terrorize Em together!"

"You're already doing a pretty good job of that."

"We could go on dates into the deep!"

"What?" Kat choked.

"Dates?!" Cinder bristled. "Into the deep?!

"If you want a date, gimme some feathers to nom," I told her, opening and closing my hand like a beggar in front of Cinder's face. "Ummmm. What are your powers again? We could... ride the rainbow together or something. What was your name even? Seendar? Casder?"

"It's CINDER," she growled, standing up, claws out, wings spread wide.

"Oh no," I slipped out of my chair. "Sider wants violencey."

"CINDER!" she snarled, lunging for me. I dodged around the table, keeping Io between us.

"Sorry Blinder, I'm terrible with names and there's wax in my ears. #Humanproblems!" I grinned, ducking as she swiped at me with her claws. "Hey Vee, what was your girlfriend's name again? Ninder?"

"GIRLFRIEND?!" Cinder threw herself at me as I ran around the tables.

"Oops, my bad Thunder-bae," I said to Vespera who was practically dying of laughter. "I meant our lovely rainbow captain here. Tinder, was it?"

"I'M GOING TO MURDER YOU!" Cinder roared, vaulting over the table.

I jumped up to the parapet and spread my arms wide and then kicked back off the tower.

"ALEX!" Cinder screamed.

She dove after me like a rainbow comet, catching me in the air with her arms and legs.

Her wings spread wide and we soared across the fog-filled streets, a million green and blue stars of the cavern's ceiling above us. Thousands of red-orange twinkling lights of Undertown hovels and crumbling citadel-towers flickered below.

"You absolute IDIOT!" Cinder snarled as we glided between the twisted buildings of Undertown, circling the gargantuan cavern space. Weary-looking people in dark cloaks below looked up at us.

"What were you THINKING?!"

"That you'd catch me?" I grinned up at her. "And look - you did! Come on, I'm wearing all of Lance's impact-reducing bracelets. A fall would give me a smol bruise or two at best."

"That's not the point!" Cinder growled, but her grip on me tightened protectively. "You can't just... jump off buildings and expect me to catch you!"

"Why not? It worked, didn't it?" I grinned up at her. "And now we're flying together. Pretty romantic if you ask me."

"I'm going to drop you into that garbage pile over there," she threatened.

"If you do that I'll smell bad," I pointed out. "Then you'd have to deal with an annoying human who is also very smelly."

"Urghh," she whined. "Some day I'll figure out your weakness and then you'll be sorry."

"My greatest weakness is a Quetzi named Cinder-Cass Nova," I smiled. "She's got these pretty rainbow wings and tail. Sometimes she looks human-ish, sometimes more like an angry dragon. When I met her my heart stopped and my brain blue-screened," I continued, watching her feathers shift through embarrassed pinks and pleased golds. "She's got these incredible ocean-blue eyes that just draw you in, and when she sings... it's like the universe skids to a halt."

"Stop it," Cinder muttered, but her wings were glowing with warm colors.

"And when she gets angry, her face and claws lengthen and her feathers do this amazing thing where they flash through all these different reds and oranges, like a sunset caught in a storm. It's breathtaking really."

"I said stop," she growled, but her grip on me remained gentle as we soared through the cavern.

"And don't even get me started on her smile," I grinned up at her. "When she actually lets herself be happy, it's like..."

"That's it, dropping you," she growled.

"Go ahead," I said. "Drop me. Vee will catch me. There she goes."

"Eh?"

Wild laughter came from below us, black and white wings fluttering. Lightning dancing along the edges of Vespera's figure as she spiraled beside us.

Cinder dug into me harder, hexasuit armor hardening.

"Come on Ci, let me have a turn carrying the human!" the Thunderbird laughed, using her superior Electromancer maneuverability to lighten herself and effortlessly bank around us.

"No!" Cinder's wings flared wider, carrying us higher. "Get your own!"

"Oh? So he IS yours then?" Vespera cackled, electricity crackling along her feathers as she soared alongside us. "Want to make it official? I can draft a contract..."

"Back off, sparkplug!" Cinder banked sharply away, clutching me tighter.

"Make me, flyin' rainbow!" Vespera laughed, pursuing us through the cavern.

We spiraled around the gargantuan column supporting the Gloomy Horse's pub tower. I could see the entire underground river circling the column from two sides and turning into two waterfalls that poured into the vast lake beyond.

"Hey, Ci, how come you don't fly on Earth like this between classes?" I asked. "I've only seen you glide like twice."

"Not enough aetheric density," she replied. "Can't lift shit. Surprised I can lift you at all here."

"What you've never tried flying with some weights on Arx?"

"No," she sighed. "I haven't. Koshei would put me into detention for a month if I tried anything like this on his watch. Okay, getting tired now."

We rose up, banked again and then she dropped me into the tower landing area.

"That was fun," I laughed as I rolled on impact, hexasuits and bracelets lighting up as Cinder and Vespera landed beside me. "We should do aerial chases more often. Good trust building exercise for the team!"

"We are NOT doing aerial chases," Cinder growled, her feathers still shifting through agitated oranges. "You could have gotten hurt!"

"Ehhh. One of you would have caught me," I shrugged.

"Not me," Kat commented from where she sat at our table, still working on her massive steak. "I would have watched you splat."

"That's why you're my favorite kitty cat," I grinned at her. "So honest. So direct. Say, how much do you love me out of ten?"

"I barely tolerate you," she rolled her eyes.

"That's a high bar when you hate everyone," I grinned.

"The highest," Katherine agreed dryly, cutting another piece of her steak. "Also, I already told you - I'm not into relationships, so piss off with asking me out."

"Noted. You shall remain in the BFF friendzone."

"Aight," she agreed.