"Shash," I addressed our resident Assassin. "Cancel the rescue operation, my friends already got forcibly deported it seems. If you already hired someone, change their Quests to get ready for an assault on the Arx Bank branches.”

"Yes, M'Lord," the Assassin nodded. “I shall notify our people upstairs via Voicecast about it.”

I waved him off and he bowed and vanished from sight along with the body of the passed out catgirl.

"You're really going to try to break the Bank Rep’s blood contracts by exposing her to Duskbloom?" Cinder asked with a weary expression, colors of stormy sky dancing across her feathers.

"Yep," I nodded. "The mites eat magic. Blood contracts are magic. Basic science."

"And if it kills her?" Cinder's stare dug into my soul.

"The mites don't kill people. Passing out in the dungeon and getting eaten by the wildlife does. Our mooks will obviously wake her up, feed and water her," I pointed out. "She'll just have to live for a bit without magic. Worst case scenario, she loses her ability to use magic permanently and become… just like me."

"Abyss, you're terrifying sometimes," Cinder wrapped her wings around herself.

"Says the girl who helped Em hunt down and murder an entire Skinwalker clan," I pointed out.

Cinder's feathers bristled. "That was different! They deserved it!"

"And Bank doesn't?" I asked. "They're literally running a drug cartel over here, pretending like they're selling a bit of weed on the side."

"Fine, fine," Cinder let out. "Still... Why do I feel like everything happening is your fault?"

"Because it is," I said cheerfully. "I knocked down Zalimar for two weeks which caused an entire castle of all sorts of other dominoes to come crashing down.”

“M’ Lexxy is systematically destroying everything in his path,” Vespera commented, arriving from the direction of the kitchen and offering me a Thunderbird-Moth-Quetzi-Stollwurm shake. “He’s basically a human wrecking ball."

"Why?" Cinder asked exasperatedly. "Why are you like this?"

"Like what?" I asked, sipping my magic shake.

"Are we seriously robbing the Arx Bank now?" She demanded. “By spawning Duskbloom mites inside it?!”

"Maybe," I shrugged. "I'll need to walk around the area, think it over. Perhaps there is a less Duskbloomy solution.”

"You'll need to walk around the area?" Cinder repeated, her feathers shifting through colors of irate disbelief. "That's your grand plan?"

"Yep," I nodded. "Reconnaissance. Information gathering. Understanding the system's weak points. A date with my two lovely ladies," I finished with a grin.

"A DATE?!" Cinder squawked, her feathers flaring through a rainbow of shocked colors looking like a spring flower bouquet. "To ROB A BANK?!"

"Reconnaissance is a type of date," I shrugged. "We'll dress up nice. Have some fun. Gather intelligence. Get breakfast at a nice cafe, then lunch in town."

"What?!"

"Also, we should also get a bunch of stuff from the shops upstairs," I added. "I owe Lenny and your parents presents."

"Presents?" Cinder's feathers shifted to confused blues. "Why would you want to get my family presents?"

"Because they were very lovely to me," I said. "Your mom especially. She made me feel welcome. Your little sister is hilarious. They deserve something nice. Did you forget that I'm living at your house?"

"Boo," Vespera complained. "I can't zap or burr my pink body pillow in Cindy's house."

"Aren't you a wealthy Prima-born?" I asked her. "Rent us a student loft residence to share at Skyfall."

"That's a bigly ask," she clicked. "Dad controls most of my finances. Plus they don't permit couples to live together on campus unless..."

"Unless they're engaged?" I finished for her.

Cinder choked. "What?! Why can't we like... maybe rent a regular apartment in Cradlefall or something?"

"Nu-huh. I'm staying at your parents Estate or on campus," I said. "Both are safe."

"Safe?" Cinder repeated skeptically. "You just destroyed Undertown with magical parasites and you're talking about safety?"

"Relatively safe," I corrected. "Controlled environment. Multiple layers of security. Easier to track potential threats. Frontenachii Wendigo scruts will definitely have trouble harassing me in either location.”

"Okay, but... getting e-engaged?!" Cinder flapped. "You can't be serious!"

"Dead serious," I said.

Vespera clicked her beak. "We've already soul-bonded. Engagement is just a formality."

"A FORMALITY?!" Cinder squawked, her feathers exploding into a hurricane of colors - violets, oranges, blues burning in chaotic patterns.

"Yep," I nodded. "Vee's right. We've already merged souls during the birth of our crystal tower child. Might as well make it official."

"But we've known each other for like... a WEEK!" Cinder protested. “Also the tower isn’t… Why are you so effing cringe? Abyss!”

“I try,” I shrugged. “It is indeed fast and I’m sorry I have to drag you into it all, but I’m on a bit of a deadline here to secure my place in Omnithornia and Skyfall by any illegal and legal means necessary. So is Vee, who doesn’t want to be shipped off to Thunderland.”

"Ya kno’, Ci," Vespera shrugged. "In Thunderland, some arranged marriages happen pretty quick."

"This isn’t bloody Thunderland! My... my parents are going to go ballistic!" Cinder waved her pink and violet pearlescent hands around.

Stolen novel; please report.

"Would they really?” I asked pointedly. “Your parents are already worried sick about your behavior. You’ve been descending into excessive hostility due to the Outsider’s influence over the last two years. Honestly, I think that your Hearth-mom will simply be thrilled to see you smile. Your father will likely ask me a million pointed, reasonable questions about my intentions. I'm mostly worried about your Primo-mom. I hear she's a literal hound."

"Reasonable?!" Cinder squawked. "He's JUSTICE NOVA! He literally JUDGES CRIMINALS FOR A LIVING!"

"Exactly," I grinned. "Which means he'll appreciate someone who follows complex logical processes. When Yulia gets back online, I will provide extensive documentation proving my value as a potential mate."

Vespera began laughing so hard electrical sparks were shooting everywhere. "OH MY SLAYER! YOU ACTUALLY PREPARED A PRESENTATION?!"

"Working on one," I nodded with a serious face. "Complete with pie charts, projected income streams, risk assessments, and a comprehensive five year plan for our potential clan development."

Cinder's ear-feathers went completely flat.

"I will have a 3D model of our potential compound layout," I continued. "With projected agricultural yields, defensive infrastructure, and potential magical research zones."

"Where?!" She demanded.

I waved my hands around the crystal tower. "Here, obviously. Actually, it's a 480 year plan due to the time dilation. This crystal mage tower is our first clan infrastructure project. We're basically building our first compound. We've already established territorial control. We have a defensible location. Abystall dungeon provides resources. The mite infestation creates a natural defensive perimeter. Vee can write protective runes. Katherine can access the Deep for reconnaissance. Io can open dimensional gates for emergency evacuation."

Cinder's mouth opened and closed several times, looking like a fish gasping for air.

"You... you've thought about this WAY too much," she finally managed.

"Survival requires comprehensive planning," I said. "With pie charts. LLMs are pretty good at those."

“Arghh,” Cinder buried her face in her hands. "This… this is happening way too fast!"

"You can always live with your parents," I shrugged with a sly look. "Me and Vee will just live on campus. Together. You can visit us."

"No!" Cinder squawked, her feathers flaring through panicked colors. "Absolutely not! You are NOT living together without me!"

I smiled at her.

"You!" She growled. "You damned… manipulative chuppy! Can you not go one day without driving me up the wall?!"

"Eh," I shrugged. "I'm manipulating everyone into creating a stable magical infrastructure that can resist entropic entities like the one in your soul."

Vespera clicked her beak. "He's not wrong, Ci."

Cinder's feathers shifted through colors of exasperation and grudging acceptance. "Fine. But we're taking things SLOW."

"I did just ask you both on a date," I pointed out.

"As a freaking bank-robbing plan!" Cinder growed.

"No," I shook my head. "As a date. I feel bad for what I did to Vee."

"What did you do to me?" Vespera asked, tilting her head.

"I didn't actually talk to you after I got your Omnigram ID," I confessed. "You were talking to Yulia since Tuesday on my behalf. It was a long ass chat. I've no idea what you guys even talked about. She did summarize the general gist of it, but still I'd like to talk to you in person, get to know you properly."

Vespera chortled.

"What?" I asked.

"Yeah, about that. I didn't talk to you either," she confessed. "I linked up the Simmicorp LLM API to my Omnigram characterized with my Valley-girl persona to chat to people on my behalf. It's how I kept up my knob-girl appearance online. I figured something really funky was going on because the conversation between you and my AI went way too effing long and started going into crazy loops."

"So… we've both been letting AIs talk to each other this entire time?" I asked.

"Ye," Vee chortled. "I had to turn mine off in our chat because the chat window was basically rolling on endlessly. Then, I saw you posting photos of Christi and offered you the D&D show tickets to see if you would actually reply to that in person instead of digitally screwing with me."

"Pffff," I let out. "Wow."

"And then you showed up and were actually way more interesting in person than the AI version of you," Vespera finished.

"So technically," I said, "our entire relationship started with two AIs catfishing each other."

"Uh-huh," she nodded. "Our digital selves fell in love and made many world domination plans.”

“No freaking wonder I couldn't profile you properly, I laughed.

"Abyss, you both are such effing dweebs," Cinder groaned, her feathers shifting through amused purples and resigned blues. "How did I even end up with not one, but TWO insane tech gremlins?"

"So um," Katherine began. "You three are going Uptown? Where Bank Enforcers might be looking for you? Who might I remind you, know what you look like?"

"Cinder held her Phase-Shift for a while last night," I said. "And Vee had a great idea too."

"What idea?!" Cinder ignited pink-sunset colors as she tried to recall what the Thunder-girl proposed last night.

"You two can go as human highborn ladies," I said. "While I'll appear as your lowly... foxkin servant."

"A FOXKIN?!" Cinder choked. "Why a foxkin and how?!"

"To match my foxy ways, obviously. I’ll be your humble, dashing foxkin butler," I said. "Your personal servant to carry your bags and gold wallets."

"And how exactly am I supposed to transform you into a foxkin?" Cinder demanded.

"With your Phase-Shift. You turned me into a pancake last night," I said. "Honestly though, let's not waste your mana on me. I have costume bits and pieces already in my bag. Enough to make a half-human foxkin. So, you'll be transforming yourself and Vee into human girls.

"Human girls?!" Cinder's feathers shifted through shocked colors. "I can't... I've never tried to look fully human before!"

"Time to practice then," Vespera clicked cheerfully. "Come on, it'll be fun! Like… cosplay!"

"But..." Cinder protested weakly. "W-what if the Phase-Shift wears off? What if I run out of mana?"

"To keep going longer, you should eat mana-rich steaks and drink overpriced, mana-rich wine," I said. "Keep an eye on your mana bar. Run into the bathroom when it goes down too low and chug one of Lance's Mana Elixirs. Just think of it as delving training."

"Delving training?" Cinder's feathers shifted through skeptical purples. "This isn't like running through a dungeon!"

"No," I agreed. "It's actually harder. You'll need to maintain the Phase-Shift while walking around, shopping, eating, and acting like a highborn human lady. Think of it as an extended stealth mission."

"And what exactly am I supposed to wear?" she demanded.

"Phase-Shift yourselves some nice, lavish, local-style outfits," I said. "Then we'll buy something even nicer. Come on, we're wasting daylight. I'd like to attend Ember's execution."

"Yay, execution front-row seats!" Vespera clapped. "Ooh! Can we wear matching outfits? That'll really grind Em’s gears when she sees us!"

"Are you INSANE?!" Cinder flapped her wings in agitation. "That's literally walking into their trap!"

"From what we shook out of Solace and Gabriela, there is no trap," I said. "I assumed that the Bank was cooperating with the local Scruts to get us. But, as we just learned from the Bank Rep, there's no such cooperation. The Bank actually wants to extract the bracelets of the Omnid delvers to ship them back into Zalimar's classroom!"

"Then what's even the point of attending the execution?!" Cinder growled.

"Taunting Emerald," I said. "Acting as rescuers. We’ll show up at the execution looking fabulous, make Em think we're there to save her, then... don't stop the execution. The Bank will do the bracelet retrieval for us, but Sol and Quint will think that we saved them. Simple as."

"You're...." Cinder shook her head, failing to come up with a sufficiently specific adjective to describe my plan.

"Practical," Vespera filled in.

"Dastardly," Io commented from his corner, flipping another page of his book.

"Villainous," Kat said.

"Efficient," I corrected them all. "Now come on, let's get ready for our date. Vee, help Ci figure out how to look human. I'm going to raid Lance's bag for my makeup kit to make myself sufficiently foxy. See you all in forty minutes back here."

"Have fun!" Io grinned. "Make it a big bang!"

"What bang?" Cinder rounded on the moth while I went to the bathroom.

"A loud bang," Io shrugged. "I taste a looming catastrophe in the air."

"For us?!" She shook the Mothman.

"Nah," he replied. "For the people of Shandria."