"A human?" I repeated, unzipping Lance's jacket to reveal my black t-shirt. "Why, yes I am! I see you are an appreciator of our team’s fine motto?"

"Motto?! What motto?!" Emerald fully shoved Solace aside and then her eyes bulged as she took in the matching "I'm with human!" shirts and my bold "HUMAN!" declaration plastered across my chest.

"What... what the eff is this?!" she sputtered, armor-covered claws opening and closing. "You're just... openly admitting it now?!"

"I am," I grinned. "I thought that your meme-joke about me being a human was pretty baller, so we all went with it. As you pointed out, I'm the token human of the group. Every good delving team needs one these days. Gotta trend on Omnigram. #ImwithHuman!"

"You... you… but…" Emerald's scales began to glow with the building heat of dragonfire. "This isn't a joke! You're an actual human!"

"Of course I am," I nodded. "I'm very committed to my role, darling! Do you want a shirt too?”

I pulled out an the extra 'I'm with human!' red shirt from my side bag and waved it at Emerald like a matador teasing a bull, making her entire figure light up. Her outfit began smoking.

"M' bae's really good at being a human, you kno’," Vespera added helpfully with an extra-deep Valley girl accent, crackling with barely-contained snickering. "Like, super dedicated. Won't break character no matter what. It's the friggin’ cutest thing ever."

"WHAT?!" Emerald snarled. "Vee, what the efffff?! You… we…”

There was betrayal and shock painted on her face as she realized that everything wasn’t turning up Emerald today. That Io, Ci and Vee firmly stood on the wrong side of the barricades now.

“What’s wrong Emmy?” Vespera cooed. “Don’t look so stressed, I still love ya, com' on, don't catch fire! We made the red shirt for ya. It was your swag idea after all!"

"My idea?!" Emerald’s eye twitched. “You effin' traitor,” she hissed. “I can't believe that you would stoop so low as to take this scab’s side…”

"Take his side? How right you are! I'm considering eloping with Lex’ in Shandria this weekend," Vespera added, wrapping a hand around my shoulders. "They have the cutest chapel there with the view of the chasm. What do you say, m' favorite human? Ready to become Mr. Simmi-Glock?"

"Vee!" Cinder bristled. "Quit pawing at him! This isn’t funny.”

"Ci, don't be a jelly beerch," Vespera teased, electricity dancing between her talons. "Consider this–we can book a double engagement for the price of one! I'll take Primo-Wife and you'll be our handsy Hearth Keeper! We could even adopt K as our kitten if she behaves."

Cinder ignited with violets and pinks fading into golds while Katherine let out a bothered growl from her wheelchair, feline ears twitching.

"Knew you'd like that idea," Vee clicked.

Emerald's jaw dropped, her gold-orange eyes bulging with pure shock as she processed Vespera's words and our flirting. Black smoke began rising from her ruby scales as her temperature spiked with incandescent rage.

"You... you're ALL in on this?!" she sputtered, looking between us. "This is... this is TREASON against the Superstate! He's an ACTUAL HUMAN!!! A real one! My family's Scrutimancer confirmed it! He's here illegally! His name isn't Glock! There is NO Alexander Glock!!! And you're all just... just... PLAYING ALONG?!"

"Emmy, sweetie," Vespera clicked her beak sympathetically. "I think you need to take a break. You’re takin’ our joke way too seriously now. All this obsession with hatin’ on humans and mixies isn't healthy. Like, look at your Omnigram feed - it's all '#HumanInSkyfall' this and 'Expose the infiltrator' that. Maybe try focusing on something else? Like how about that cute Wendigo behind you who's totally into you? You two should, like, tots get engaged on Arx, you'd make a great perma-couple! Open-sauce 'ships are so last season."

Quint tried and failed to look professional, fretting slightly on his spot by the gate at the suggestion of an engagement in Shandria.

"I AM NOT OBSESSED!" Emerald roared, dragonfire sparking around her teeth as she frothed at the mouth. "HE'S A HUMAN! A REAL HUMAN! WHY IS NOBODY LISTENING TO ME?! Vee, I sent you an effin' PDF! Did you not read it?!"

"The 'Lex is a human' PDF report was pretty funny," Vee grinned. "4/10 meme. I sent you a thumbs up about it."

"It's not a FREAKING MEME!" The dragon girl howled.

"Pff, yeah okay," Vespera laughed. "Sure. I too can generate a PDF with Omnigpt 4.0 about how you're a human instead of a dragon, bae."

The student delvers around us seemed to deflate slightly, many smiling at our shirts and buttons and whispering about Emerald taking it too far again.

Emerald's eye twitched violently.

“#TotallyARealHuman,” I commented, pulling furiously blushing Cinder to my side and taking a selfie with my phone. “That’s a good one! Thanks for another another funny tag, Em!"

"Emerald," Quint stated. "Enough. Please stop causing a scene. His father is a Thunderbird. This is obviously just their team taunt and you're falling for it. Be professional."

"I'M NOT FALLIN' FOR SHIT!!!" the dragon girl screeched even louder, making everyone wince. "ARE YOU ACTUALLY THIS EFFIN' STUPID, QUINT?! HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE IT?! HE'S MANIPULATING EVERYONE USING AI GENERATED FAKERY!"

"Hey, my Omnigram photos aren't AI generated, they're AI retouched," I pointed out, showing off my camera. "There's a difference. My DSLR camera has a very basic upscale AI in it, don't you know? It erroneously marks some Omnigram pics as 'AI generated' if you run a detector over them."

"Shut yo bloody effing lying mouf, human scab!" Emerald rounded on me. "You're fake and all of your photos are bloody fake as shit!!! My Scrutimancer..."

I stepped towards her and hugged her.

"I love you," I said, feeling all of the hexagrammic gems and collars on me ignite like a See-Mass tree as they fought off the dragonfire radiating off her. "Let's be friends! Come on!"

There was a reason why I picked this reflective jacket of Lance's to wear today. According to the tag and online marketing listing that Yulia pulled up, this jacket easily withstood both extreme cold and heat. The reflective element extracted from some otherworldly beast known as Liskostuash from Arx was nearly impervious to the destructive heat of dragonfire for about two minutes.

"WHAT?! DON'T TOUCH ME! FRIG OFF YOU LYIN' SACK' O' SHIT!" Emerald forcefully shoved me away. It took all of the power of my hexasuits to stop myself from flying backwards. "You think I'm stupid like these birchards?! You might have tricked some brainlets, but I know that all of your pics are AI generated!"

Time to up my game. Being a loud dragon vs genuine social networking.

"Hey Christi!" I waved to the Pink Chancellor who was staring in mild confusion at the commotion. "How'd you like the photos I took of you at Lazarus cavern?"

"Oh! Alex! They're like, totally amazing!" Christi's flames brightened enthusiastically. "You really captured my best angles! The lighting was perfect! My phone cave pics just don't come out good like yours. You're a real pro!"

"What about you guys?" I turned to my team before Emerald could resume her howling. "Rate the photos I took of you at the D&D show yesterday out of ten!"

"The gate-opening photos were pretty rad," Io nodded. "Caught the exact moment I opened it. Def’ ten out of ten."

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"One billion out of ten," Vespera waved a magisteel-covered hand dramatically. "Best human photographer! #MarriageMaterial."

"I really liked the one where you caught my wings mid-color-change," Cinder added. "Hrmmm. Infinity out of ten." She tried to up herself above Vespera’s rating, clearly still bothered that I drank the Thunderbird-shake with a big smile on my face.

Emerald choked. She saw where this was going and clearly had no idea how to stop it.

That's right. Eat my witness-backed evidence, dragon. Another spoon should do it.

I spotted my favorite Kelpie in the crowd. "June! How'd you like the photos I took of you after our the chess match?" I asked.

"Pretty great!" June called out, her liquid hair rippling and sending water drops onto the dark marble floor. "You made me look so elegant! Even my mom loved them! Oh, oh! Can you take a couple of pics of me and my team in front of the Arx gate?"

"Absolutely!" I nodded. "Line up! We got seven more minutes.”

June and her team of fluid-mages stepped to the gate.

"You..." Emerald hissed. "You absolute fake BASTARD! Stop acting like this is all some big joke and dodging the truth away! You're a HUMAN! A filthy, worthless HUMAN who..."

"Shut yo yap, dragon, or I'll shut it for you," June stepped between me and Ember. "We all know that you have a beef with mixed-heritage students. You bullied Sarah out of Skyfall last year!"

"Em, please," Quint placed a restraining hand on the smoking-dragon's shoulder. "You're making a scene. This isn't the time or place for..."

"Time or place for WHAT?!" Emerald slapped Quint's hand away. "For exposing this HUMAN INFILTRATOR?! He's..."

"Oh for Slayer's sake," June sighed, raising her staff. "Guys, amp me. I've had enough of whatever this is."

The team consisting of a Mermaid, a Lusca, a Frogman and a Vodyanoy standing behind the Kelpie girl laid their hands onto her.

"Drown," June said simply, interrupting Emerald's next howl of swears and accusations.

A torrent of pressurized water erupted from the Kelpie staff, amplified by her team's combined power. The blast caught Emerald in the open mouth in an explosion of super-heated steam, sending her flying backwards into the classroom wall with enough force to crack the dark marble wall.

Steam poured off Emerald as the water pounded against her superheated scales. For a moment, the classroom became filled with thick fog.

When it cleared, Emerald lay slumped against the wall, her ruby scales dulled and smoking, her gold chains tangled around her flickering with defense hexes.

"Anyone else want to be a bigoted jerk to Alex?" June asked pleasantly, the water elemental still swirling around her staff.

Solace opened both of her mouths and then realized that she was basically alone against five water-controlling Omnids. Her round, forehead teeth-filled maw and human-ish mouth snapped shut and she quickly rushed off to Emerald's side.

"No? Good. Now Alex, about those photos..." June grinned.

"Looking fabulous as always," I commented, snapping several shots of June's team posed in front of the gate, the water elemental spinning merrily in the air behind them. "Love the staff and H2O effects."

"Oooh, send those to me!" June clapped excitedly, liquid hair rippling above her silver-green scale-type armor.

"Already done," I said. "Check your Omnigram, #TeamHydroblades."

The hydromancers pulled out their phones and started to chat excitedly. Yulia worked fast.

"If anyone else wants pics, I am willing to take some in Shandria, but then you gotta wear 'I'm with human' shirt for your next class as payment," I threw the 'I'm with human' red shirt that I was holding at June. She caught it from the air and pulled it on, the shirt immediately getting soaked because of her hair. I snapped a pic of her in the shirt and Yulia added it to my Omnigram feed.

Solace helped the dazed Emerald to her feet. The dragon girl's gold-orange eyes were unfocused, steam rising from her scales as she twitched and spat water.

"Right then," Quint cleared his throat. "If we're done with the dramatics, let's proceed with today's delve. Team captains, please present your gate passes."

Cinder stepped forward, holding out her token as Captain. Other team captains did the same. Quint walked across the line of captains, scanning each with a runestone. Solace presented Emerald’s pass as the dragon girl looked quite out of it, dredging water from her lungs.

As Quint approached with the runestone and his own gate pass, all twenty-four of the silver spider's eyes looked down. The giant spider shifted position, accepting the runestone from Quint and swallowed it.

"Does the shiny spidey have a name?" I asked Io.

"Gate Weaver," he replied. "Works sort of like my skill, except she makes an extra-stable gate that can stand up to time dilation."

"Zalimar boasted that he bred her himself over generations of spidery-gate-matriarchs," Vee clicked.

The Gate Weaver rapidly wove intricate patterns across the black crystalline ring, legs moving with hypnotic precision. Each strand of webbing it produced glowed slightly, forming a massive, complex hexagram over the gate.

"Remember," Quint announced as the spider worked behind him, "You have two hours of Earth time, which translates to roughly one week in Shandria. Don't antagonize the locals, be polite and professional and be back before the gate closes. Your passes will vibrate when it's time to return. Upperclassmen with high Adventurer Rank are free to delve nearby dungeons, but beginners should stay to the city limits and only go out as far as the wild fields. Those without prior delving experience..." He looked pointedly at me. "Are to register themselves at the Adventurers Guild Cathedral and to complete Iron rank jobs. Since Instructor Zalimar isn't here, I'm filling his role in supervising all of you as the Arx-Delver Captain with the highest rank. Screw around and you will be banned from going to Arx ever again. Captains, you are to manage your team members and make sure that they behave."

The Gate Weaver's work reached a crescendo, the final strands of silver light forming a complex pattern across the black crystal. A deep resonant hum filled the air as the gate began to activate, liquid silver leaking from the web to form a shimmering circle like a little pool of water.

"First-time delvers, please note that temporal dilation and higher mana aetheric density can be disorienting," Quint added. "You may experience mild nausea and discomfort as your body adjusts to Arx."

I nodded along.

"Shandria closes at sundown," Quint continued. "Do not attempt to stay out after dark. Leviathan's Nightingale's Shadow flock is far, FAR more dangerous than anything you've encountered on Earth. Even experienced delvers must avoid being outside after sunset. Basically, stay in your hotel rooms at night, or you will die a most horrible death."

Sounds like a Larry Plotter challenge. I thought.

Vee seemed to share my giddy mood, gray eyes sparkling with excitement. Cinder looked a bit concerned. It was hard to tell what Io and Kat were thinking on the account of fuzzy, blank face and dark hood.

The silver liquid in the gate began to ripple and swirl, forming a perfect mirror-like surface.

"Teams will enter in order of rank," Quint announced. "Upperclassmen first, then intermediate teams, then beginners. Your phones will not work in Shandria, but Voicecast spells embedded within the gate passes are tied to our Keeper on the other side. If anything goes horribly wrong, Voicecast me or the Omnid owned Inn or our Chapel Keeper right away. Any questions?"

"What happens when Emerald kills me?" I asked.

"Novitiate Glock," Quint pinched the boney bridge of his nose. "Just... don't antagonize her. Please. I don't want to have to bail both of you from Shandrian prison or save you from an execution."

"I'm not doing anything," I huffed. "You all saw it, I gave her a hug! I'm trying to be just a friend!"

"Just a friend?" Quint asked.

"It's just that..." I pretend-stammered. "She asked me out but I told her that she's just not my type and that I like Cinder and Vee more and now she won't get off my case!"

"What?" Emerald croaked weakly from where Solace propped her up. "That's not what... I would never... I'm not into freaking humans!!!"

Quint sent Emerald and me a very annoyed look, his eyes flaring bright. Then he cleared his throat. "If you die on Shandria, your team members are to immediately bring your bracelet across the gate back to the Lazarus cavern. If they fail to do so, points will be deducted from their grade and you might find your team suspended from delving practice for a month. Any other questions?"

"What happens if our Quartermaster gets us all killed by being an insufferable troll?" Katherine asked.

"I would never!" I gasped in mock offense.

"Captains are to file daily reports about the team's activities," Quint hissed out, sounding fed up with his life. "If the report isn't filed on time, you will be contacted by me. If you do not respond, another team will be sent to investigate and if your bracelets are not found within the hour, a DelveRaid team will be sent out by the Shandrian Adventurers Guild. They're very expensive, so try not to die in places where your team can't recover your bracelet. If DelveRaid fails to locate your bracelets within the allotted time of four hours, a high level Corpse Seeker will be sent to retrieve your bracelets from the Omnithean chapel managed by Brother Vassily. Any other questions?"

No one raised their hands.

"Good. Team Stormpiercers, you're up first."

Lance, Christi and two others waved to us as they passed by and entered into the shimmering gate, sinking into it.

"Wait for me at the Guild," Quint said. "I gotta make sure everyone goes through safe from this end."

"Can do," Lance nodded. "See ya tomorrow."

Quint's team entered into the shimmering gate, sinking into it.

A few more teams followed, each disappearing into the liquid silver surface. Finally, it was our turn.

"Team 'I love you', you're up," Quint announced, his amber eyes lingering on me with obvious concern. "Remember, hold hands and dive together as not to become separated due to the temporal dilation."

"Stay close, follow my lead, and most importantly..." I said.

"Don't die?" Katherine suggested dryly.

"Have fun!" I grinned.

We grabbed onto each other and walked/rolled into the gate.