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School Almanac
Take Me To Church

Take Me To Church

Period 4, Journalism

Marty walked into class, with his cast littered in illustrations. Filip and Justine weren’t in class that day. Steven looked at Marty’s cast, “What’s all of this??” Marty pointed at a bunch of illustrations and started telling Steven what they were, “This here would be a dog having sex with what I believe is my arm. Then we have a snail with a very long penis. An extremely detailed drawing of a penis. 4 different recreations of the match I lost. That’s either an ass or a vagina and I figured it’s probably better not to think about it too much. This one isn’t even an illustration, it’s just a phone number for Breed-N-Breed. A dragon with a penis for a head. An orc with a penis for a head. A goblin with a-” “I think I get it,” Steven stopped him. Class started, and when it ended Mr. Noronake told the students going after Lumila to stay. “Alright, Jupiter, tell your story.” “Okay. Last night, I was walking around the school, and these two people attacked me. One was a guy, and the other was a girl. I was able to run from them, but didn’t see their faces because of how dark it was.” Mr. Noronake then added, “I’ve done a bit of digging, and found 2 groups of students that are suspicious and are both a guy and girl. Seven, I want you to keep an eye on the Christian Club. Currently, there’s only two members and they only meet during the 6th and 7th period on fridays. If they ask why you’re there, tell them you’re gonna write about the club on the school website.” “The school has a website?” “Not yet, but Computer Club’s trying to get one set up. Iris, I want you to keep an eye on the Science Club. There’s seven people in the club, including you. However, only two are allowed to attend meetings currently because they’re still setting up. I’m gonna talk to Principal Licktis to see if he can make an exception for you because they’re ‘having trouble setting up.’ The meetings are on Mondays and Wednesdays, so you’ll go next week. Steven, this girl in my 6th period has been acting quite suspicious. She keeps bringing your name up, and so I think she must be part of Endziel. Filip had a job to do for this girl, and so you’ll meet with her in his smithing room next Friday. Jupiter will go with you in case things get too rowdy. Justine and Filip are currently out trying to find any other members.” “What am I gonna do?” Marty asked. “You’re gonna stay safe until your arm heals. If you happen to find any Endziel members, let us know. However, don’t go willingly looking for them. You’re not in the state to handle a fight right now.” Mr. Noronake took a deep breath, “Welp kiddos, that’s the game plan. Make this work and…keep your spirits up!”

Pov Shift: Seven

Period 6, Computer Science

Seven walked into the computer science class, which was lined with a bunch of pcs and chairs. He walked up to the teacher, Mr. Nex. He was a young looking guy who always seemed bored. “Mr. Nex, I need to go to the Christian Club for Journalism Club. Is that alright?” Mr. Nex mumbled, “Sure…” and Seven left.

Christian Club

Seven knocked the door to the room. A girl opened the door. She had a white jacket on, and long blond hair. She greeted Seven with a warm smile, “Oh, hello.” “Hello. I’m Seven Trecidecim with the Journalism Club. I’m here to see the kinds of things that the Christian Club does. Is it alright if I come in to watch you guys.” “Sure! We don’t have many visitors.” Seven went inside, and saw another student sitting at the table. It was a boy with slightly curly gray hair. He had a normal t-shirt on him, but he had a longsword slung on his back. He was reading the bible, until he turned to survey Seven, “Hmph.” The girl sat down, and said, “Oh! I haven’t introduced myself yet. My name is Genesis Avra, and my friend here is Exodus Port.” “Nice to meet you both,” Seven said, “If I may ask, what grades are you two in?” Exodus quickly answered, “I’m in 9th. She’s in 10th.” “Oh I see,” Seven said, “Well, what kind of things do you guys do?” Genesis answered, “We usually discuss stuff about christianity and current events. I think you’d like it. What are some of your favorite bible verses, if you have any.” “I can’t think of any off the top of my head, sorry.” “Oh, that’s alright. Me and Exodus will tell you about some of ours.” Seven sat at the table. They talked about bible verses for a bit, until Genesis stood up. “I’m gonna go use the bathroom, I’ll be right back.” She left, and Exodus was staring at Seven. “Umm, why are you staring at me?” Seven asked. Exodus said bluntly, “Let me be honest, I don’t trust you. I feel like you’re lying about your reason for being here.” Seven said, “Huh? I-I’m just here for the journalism club.” Exodus said, “You just stuttered, didn’t you? I don’t know why you’re here, but I know that you can only bring danger to Genesis.” Exodus took his longsword from his back, and pointed it at Seven’s neck. “And I’ll be damned if I ever let her get hurt.” Seven held his hands up, “Woah woah, I-” “Shut it. Tell me, what’s your signature?” Seven hesitated for a moment, “Wonderwall. It makes me extremely lucky.” Exodus dug in his pockets with one of his hands, and tossed two coins at Seven. One was a penny and the other was a quarter. “Pick a side. If both coins are your chosen side, then I’ll trust you. If not, I’ll lop your head off.” Seven looked at the coins for a second, “I choose heads.” He threw the coins up into the air, and they both were heads. Exodus dug into his pockets again, and took out a marker. He marked the two coins with a black line, before putting a handful of coins on the table. “27 coins. Throw them all up. The two marked coins have to land on heads again, and everything else can’t. That’s how this will work. Now throw them.” Seven picked up all the coins, and threw them into the air. The two marked coins landed on heads, and most of the other coins landed on tails. However, one of the coins fell off the table. When Seven and Exodus looked at the coin, they saw that it wasn’t tails. It wasn’t heads either. It was standing on its side. Exodus said “Well…I suppose I trust you a little more.” “Umm…well, since you know my signature, what about yours?” Exodus hesitated, “Well just because I know your signature doesn’t mean you need to know mine. But, I’ll tell you anyway. It allows me to teleport to any bible I’ve read.” Exodus put his bible on the table, and walked away. He then said, “Take Me To Church!” A grayish bubble formed for a split second, and seemed to swallow Exodus. He then reappeared back in his chair. “I’ll still keep an eye on you, I hope you know.” “That’s…fair.” Exodus started taking some of the coins, “You can keep the two marked coins.” Seven put the two coins in his pocket, as Exodus finished picking up all of his coins. Genesis walked in the room, “I’m back!” Exodus said, “Welcome back. I was thinking about a verse that really struck a chord with me. Psalm 140:4 Keep me safe, lord, from the hands of the wicked; protect me from the violent, who devise ways to trip my feet.” They continued their conversation, until Genesis stood up. “It’s about time for us to go now.” Seven seemed confused, “Huh? But the dismissal bell hasn’t rung yet.” Exodus said, “We leave before school is dismissed. It’s not that hard to understand.” Seven thought to himself, “I…guess that makes sense.” Exodus gave Seven a glare, before he left the room. Genesis was about to leave as well, but Seven said, “Wait wait, I’ve got a question.” Genesis stopped, and Seven asked her, “Are you really in 10th grade?” “Umm, yeah.” “Ok…I’m sorry for asking.” Genesis left, and Seven stayed in the room until school ended.

Afterschool

Seven walked to the dorm building, and Mr. Noronake met him at the front of the building. “Seven! What happened!? You two fought!?! Oh man, did you blow them to bits?” “No! Mr. Noronake, I’m gonna be honest, you don’t seem to be very smart when it comes to your suspicions.” “EH? How so?” “Well, they weren’t suspicious at all. Even the boy, who didn’t really seem to like me, didn’t seem suspicious. Oh, also, the girl isn’t even in 9th grade.” “HUH? For real? Oh damn, that’s my mistake. Hehehe…” “Well, it’s whatever. It was quite enjoyable spending time away from class.” “I’m glad you did, my boy! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be leaving.” Mr. Noronake left, and Seven went inside of the dorm building.

Pov Shift: Felicity

Felicity walked down the hallway. She went in front of the door to Seven’s dorm, and saw it was open a little bit. “Umm…Seven, your door is open. I’m coming in.” She walked in, and saw a girl standing there. She had a coonskin hat, a gray glove on one hand, and orange hair. Seven’s dorm room was completely emptied. She clenched her teeth. Felicity asked her, “Umm…who are you?” The girl said, “I’m…Stora Sterna. Has…Seven not told you? I’m his…girlfriend!” Felicity gasped, “What?” Stora beamed, “Yes! I’m his girlfriend! We’re locked in. We’ve even done it! We took videos and all! Would you like to see it?” Felicity frowned, “No…I think I understand. I should be leaving now.” Felicity turned around, and started walking away. She buried her face into her hands. Her tail appeared and started flicking back and forth. Cat ears appeared on her head as well, as her face went red. Then, her cat ears heard Stora whisper something. “Such an easy lie, wahaha.” Felicity ran back into the room, her ears straight up. She asked Stora, “A lie!?! You’re not Seven’s girlfriend!??!” “I-How did you-Are those cat-OF COURSE I’M HIS GIRLFRIEND! ARE YOU DOUBTING OUR LOVE?” “You just said it was a lie!” “UMM…I WAS MUMBLING ABOUT SOMETHING I SAID EARLIER TODAY! IN MY FIRST PERIOD! YEAH…” Felicity looked around the dorm room, “Why is the room empty?” Stora froze up, “...I was…um…decorating for him. SINCE I’M HIS GIRLFRIEND!” Felicity walked around in the room, “Where’d everything go then? Like his bed, his TV, and his Expecto console! I know he wouldn’t want for something to happen to it.” Stora started chattering her teeth, as her face went pale. Her voice started faltering, “HE TRUSTS ME WITH IT! CLEARLY, SINCE I’M HIS-” She quit the act, “SCREW IT, LET ME TELL YOU THE TRUTH! I’M ROBBING HIM BLIND! WHAT HE DID ON SATURDAY RUINED THE WAREHOUSE THAT MY FAMILY WAS GOING TO BUY, AND SO HE HAS TO COMPENSATE FOR THAT LOSS. I’LL SELL ALL OF HIS STUFF!” Felicity gasped, “Even the Expecto?” “EVEN THE EXPECTO, WAHAHAHA!” Felicity’s hands turned into cat paws, with long claws, “I won’t let you do that!” Stora flinched a little at the sight of the claws. She gulped, and told Felicity, “You don’t scare me, pussycat! Your signature doesn’t hold a candle to mine! Wahaha!” He waved her uncovered hand out, and blurred lines started appearing around her fingers. “Is it your birthday? Here’s a gift from me to you! A knife I found inside of Seven’s cabinet!” She swished her hand forward, and a knife was flung out from the blurred lines. Felicity was able to dodge it. Stora held her gloved hand out, “Blurred Lines! Anything that I catch in these lines gets stored inside of my mind to what I call the Spankbank. At any time, I can take out whatever is inside.” She started swishing her hand, and plates were coming out of the lines. They were being thrown towards Felicity. Felicity jumped forward, slashing the plates. She was right in front of Stora, and was about to slash her mid-air as well. However, Stora waved her hand upward, and from the lines came out Seven’s bed frame. It went upwards, and smashed Felicity into the ceiling. The frame slammed onto the ground, Felicity along with it. She looked up, and saw Stora exiting from the window. Stora jumped down, and took out Seven’s bed mattress from her Spankbank. She landed safely on the mattress. She then waved her hand in front of it, and it disappeared. She ran off, as Felicity jumped from the window. She landed on her feet, and chased after Stora. Stora ran into the school’s garden. She hid behind a girthy potted bonsai tree. She saw a few rose plants, and waved her hand in front of them. The roses disappeared into her Spankbank. She winced a little, and put her finger up to her temple, “Ooff…My head.” Felicity ran into the garden, on all fours. Stora stood up, and walked from behind the pot, “I’m not scared to fight you!” Felicity stood up, and told her, “Then stop running.” Stora took out another one of Seven’s knives from her Spankbank, “Of course, pussycat!” She tossed the knife to her gloved hand, and charged at Felicity. Felicity scratched Stora on her face, and Stora started falling to the ground. As Stora was falling, she threw the roses at Felicity. “Budget Welcome To The Jungle!” The thorny rose stems were wrapped around Felicity’s neck. She was being strangled by the stems, and her neck started bleeding. Stora ran over to the bonsai tree. Felicity cut the stems with her claws. Stora said, “Good job, pussycat! But can you cut this with your claws?” Felicity looked over, and quickly saw Stora throwing the bonsai tree pot at her. Felicity’s back was hit by the bonsai tree and fell to the ground. The pot the bonsai tree was in had smashed on the ground. Stora winced from the scratch to her face, “Damn!” She saw Felicity try to get back up, “Awww, is the little pussycat having trouble getting up? That’s what happens when you stick your pussycat nose in other people’s business. Curiosity killed the cat.” Felicity writhed on the ground, trying to get up. “Oh my, you look pathetic.” Felicity said to Stora, “This is your last chance…Take everything you took from Seven out of your Spankbank and I’ll leave you alone.” “Pussycat, read the room! You’re the one who can’t even get up from the ground. Wahaha! Who do you think you are?” Felicity grabbed onto the root, and pulled the bonsai tree into her hands. She then picked up the bonsai tree and threw it at Stora. Stora was shocked, and before she could react the tree had crashed into her chest. She fell on her back, with the tree on top of her. She struggled getting the tree off of her, “What the fuck…how could she pick this up, let alone throw it?!?!” Felicity got up and started walking towards Stora. Stora waved her hand in front of the tree and it went into her Spankbank. Felicity was about to scratch her again, but Stora threw the bonsai tree in front of her and ran off. “God damnit! Why’d I have to put up with a girl like this.” Felicity quickly chased after her on all fours, and slashed her from behind. Stora thought to herself, “Damn! Enhanced strength, speed, hearing…what doesn’t she have?” Stora turned around and said, “It’s time you learn something about my signature. It doesn’t only work on inanimate objects and plants. I can also use it on animals. I’ve kept my pets inside of my Spankbank in case I needed help, and here they are. Vee, Vell, attack!” She swished her hand forward and two raccoons came out of her Spankbank. They jumped at Felicity and started biting and scratching her. Felicity fell to the ground. She looked up to the ceiling, and saw vines covering all over it. The raccoons kept biting her. She kicked one of them away, while slashing the other. She then jumped up to the ceiling, and grabbed the vines. She pulled them down as she fell, and they broke off. Parts of the ceiling across the whole garden were cracked. Some parts fell, and others seemed like they were about to fall. Once she was on the ground, she wrapped the two raccoons in the vines. She then picked them up, and threw them out the garden window. "Damn…enhanced jump as well…" Stora sighed, "No matter! I was planning to eat this later as a snack, but I guess I'll have to use it now." She took out an opened chocolate bar from her Spankbank, and threw it directly in Felicity's mouse. She swallowed the bar, and asked Stora, "Err…what was that for?" "WAHAHA! PUSSYCAT, YOU'RE SO STUPID! THAT WAS CHOCOLATE, WHICH IS TOXIC TO CATS!" Felicity gasped. "YES! Now, if you want to survive, you'll have to get out of that cat form of yours until the chocolate gets out of your system." Felicity started feeling sick, and leaned on the wall. "As soon as you're back to normal, you'll just be an average girl! And then I'll use that opportunity to…" She spun her knife around her fingers. Felicity said, "I can't…I-" Her claws retracted, her tail and cat ears returned inside her body. Stora took the opportunity to run up to Felicity to try to stab her. However, right as the knife was about to make contact with Felicity, Seven jumped through the window and whacked Stora with his grenade launcher. Felicity smiled, "Seven…" Stora pounded the ground with her fist, "God damnit! Why has my luck been so fucking bad, ughhhhh!" Seven asked Felicity, "What happened here?" Felicity answered, "She told me that her family was planning to buy that warehouse that the Stem Assassin burnt down during your fight with him, and so she was stealing your stuff to get compensation for it. I didn't like that idea, so I fought her to get your stuff back." "Interesting. I had talked to the people who were going to buy the warehouse. They said that they'll get a refund from the seller. However, I don't believe they had a daughter…" They looked back at Stora, who was crouched down. She then waved her hand in front of herself, and then her whole body except her arm went into her Spankbank. Her arm then started scurrying away. "Umm…she still has my stuff, right?" "Yes! Even your Expecto console!" "MY EXPECTO?!" Seven started chasing after the arm. The arm waved, and Seven’s mattress was flown towards him. Seven jumped over the mattress, and kept up his chase. He thought to himself, “What on earth is this signature?” Seven shot his grenade launcher towards the ceiling above the arm, and parts of the ceiling fell. The arm dodged all of the debris, and continued running from Seven. It was approaching the exit to the garden. Seven quickly shot a grande on top of the exit, which made part of the ceiling fall and block the exit. The arm quickly stopped, and turned back to Seven. It started waving, and from the lines sound came out. It was Stora’s voice telling Seven, “STAY BACK! OR ELSE…OR ELSE…” The Expecto came out of the Spankbank, “I’LL BREAK IT! I’LL BREAK YOUR PRECIOUS CONSOLE! WAHAHA!” Seven stopped in fear. Then, a part of the ceiling came crashing down on the arm. “AWWWWW DAMNNNNNNN!” Stora cried from the Spankbank, as she waved and left it. “OWWWW MY ARM!” She held onto her wounded arm with her gloved hand. She looked back to Seven, “I FUCKING QUIT! HERE TAKE ALL OF YOUR SHIT BACK!” She waved her arm, and everything that was in Seven’s room came out. His Expecto controllers, TV, drawers, clothes, along with a plethora of other items. “GOD DAMN, I HATE YOU PEOPLE.” She then left the garden by jumping out of one of the windows. Seven let out a sigh of relief, as he started picking up his stuff. Felicity slowly walked up to him, “Umm, Seven…I’m sorry.” Seven looked confused, “For what?” “I’m sorry you had to come save me...I just wanted to help you, not be a burden.” “Oh. But you did. If you didn’t chase after her, I wouldn’t know where all my stuff was. So thanks, Felicity.” “Umm…Okay…”

Stolen story; please report.

Pov Shift: Cato

“There are many secrets surrounding this school,” Cato was telling Victoria in the library, “I wish to find the answer to these secrets.” “For what reason?” “With the introduction of signatures, there are more things in this world that are unexplainable. Haven’t you heard of stories of planes suspended in mid-air? These are things that should be explored to move society forward.” “So…” “Well, I’m looking for the identity of The Healer. For no reason other than the pleasure of knowing, as this is what drives the human race. I’m asking you to find out what something was made out of, can you do that?” “Maybe…” “Okay, it’s a crystal. A crystal that caused us to develop signatures. It’s not here anymore, but I’d like for you to try to recreate it with your signature. I’ll send you more information about it later today, do you think you can do that?” “...Sure.”