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School Almanac
Great Western Food Day

Great Western Food Day

Perspective Shift: Steven

Steven woke up, and watched the morning announcements. Clara was on the screen, looking tired, “Hello...students...of...the school. As you...all may know...it is…” Steven turned off the TV, knowing that if he watched the whole announcement he’d be late. Today was Great Western Food Day. A few hundred decades ago, there was a huge feast. This isn’t referring to the “founding” of America, but rather when an eastern ship came to the Americas and had a huge feast to celebrate their arrival after all the hard times they endured. However, a ship from the west went to Europe and did the exact same thing on the exact same day. To celebrate the coincidence and the feast, they made a holiday to celebrate it. However, the holiday never caught on, but the current president, James Red White And Blue, had liked it. A lot. So, he made it so that all stores in the country that sold food items at a 90% discount would not only get government support, but a seal of approval signed by the president. And so, everyone was rushing to buy food. Once Steven got ready for school, he walked into the dorm hallway to find Marty. “Ah Steven,” Marty went, “Want some bread?” He gave Steven a loaf of bread. “Uh...thanks.” “Man, this food day has got me in a giving mood. I feel like giving to charity for sick kids!” Felicity walked up to the two. “Have you guys seen Seven,” she asked them. Steven and Marty both looked at each other in silence. They both thought in their heads, “Seven responded to our texts at 1 in the morning, and this girl is asking for him. They were both in Seven’s room when we were gone. A lot of things can happen in that span of time.” Marty thought, “Were they playing a different kind of Bash?” Steven, in thought, somehow replied, “There’s no other answer.” Marty, in thought, suggested, “We should definitely quote that meme.” Steven snickered a bit, and, in thought, agreed, “Oh my god that’s perfect for this scenario!” They both looked back at Felicity. Marty shouted, “STEP AWAY, CAT DEMON! SEVEN DOESN’T WANT TO BE LEFT IN YOUR LITTER BOX!” Steven, with a scared expression told Marty, “WE HAVE TO LEAVE BEFORE SHE GOES AFTER US TOO!” They both ran off, and Marty yelled, “I CHERISH MY LIFE!!!!” Seven walked up behind Felicity with a bag, “Hey, Felicity. I got pancakes for you and the others, but I guess they just ran off didn’t they? Oh well, I’ll give them their share later. Here you go,” He gave Felicity a box with pancakes and a syrup container inside. He left to go follow Marty and Steven, and as he did people began smelling the pancakes. They started following Seven, “Yo lemme have some,” “Hey you’re that guy from the shooting riiiiiight? You are so cute! Anyway, can I have some food, my dad doesn’t love me,” “Hey hey you remember me from uhhh uhhh 1st grade? Your ass owes me!” “Seven I swear I’m gonna...uhhh...throw a water balloon at you again?” “WOW YOUR NAME IS SEVEN? I LOVE THAT NUMBER!” “Seven, I have money I’ll give you double if you pay me,” “Seven, I will actually do sexual favors for you,” the crowd dispersed. “Jeez…” Seven went, as he met up with Marty, Steven, and Iris. He gave them their pancakes and the bell rang.

Period 2, Advanced English

Steven and Seven walked into their advanced English class, and everything went as it usually did. Except of course, everyone was eating food. It was the most random food ever. There were the standard chips and candy, but some people were eating flour, snorting spices...it was a really weird day. And for Garlic, well, it was a great day to steal. He was jittery, looking around at all the people who were eating. As Seven sat down, Garlic looked at him as Seven took out a thin stick from his book bag to eat. Garlic asked him, “The hell is that?” Seven answered, “It’s a wheat stalk.” Garlic thought for a moment, before muttering, “Damnit whatever, I’m hungry.” He held his hand out, “Pass me some, you guys still haven’t paid me for telling y’all about Nick.” Seven gave him some of the stalks, and Steven gasped, “No Seven, we already paid him...oh man.” Garlic licked the stalks, “You can take it back if you want.” “No...thanks…” Class then began, of course most people were still munching on something. In the middle of class, while the teacher was playing a video, a man in a white uniform knocked on the door. When someone opened it, the man had a platter in his hand, and said, “Order for honey roasted lamb with escargot and white tuna poached in olive oil?” “That’d be me,” Victoria told the man, and walked up to take the platter. “Damn Victoria,” Steven said to her. As she was walking back to her seat, she told him, “Well if they’re giving discounts, I’m gonna use it to the fullest.” She went back to her seat and started feasting. And of course, most of the class were trying to get a bite. “Victoria…” Ivy begged, “Sorry about the water balloon, it was really an accident. Please let me have some.” Not a morsel was given to anyone.

Period 3, Biology

The teacher did a BaSqueek and the winner would get a bag of biscuits. Cato won, and began gloating to Steven. “STEVEN STEVEN, THESE BISCUITS TASTE REAL GOOD! THEY REALLY DO!” He scarfed them down right in front of him. Nothing else happened.

Perspective Shift: Seven

Period 1, Theatre

The bell hadn’t rang yet, and Seven was pacing around the door with a worried expression. Iris walked up to him, and asked, “Hey, is everything alright Seven?” Seven responded, “No…yesterday I forgot to write a speech to say in class about the project, and now I’m gonna have to make it all up on the spot!” Iris consoled him, “Aww, I’m sure it isn’t that bad. In fact, I had free time yesterday so just for fun, I made one for you.” She took out a folded piece of paper, and gave it to Seven. “Read and remember it,” Iris told him, as she walked into the room. Seven was relieved, and ecstatic. He grinned, “Iiiiiiirrrrrrrriiiiiisssssssssss!” He unfolded the paper, and as he read the contents, his smile dissipated. He had an angry face, and yelled “IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!” Felicity walked up to him. “What’s wrong. Is it that piece of paper?” Felicity leaned over to see what was on it, but Seven pulled it away from her. “Damnit, this is too embarrassing! But I’ve no other option, otherwise my grade is gonna drop,” Seven thought in his head. He said, “Sorry, Felicity,” turned his back to her, and walked into the room. Class started, and Victoria was the first to present her speech. Since there was only one person in the group who was supposed to do the speech, Iris didn’t have to do one. “Iris of the Ingrene family, you have taught me a lot. And…” Once she was finished, others came to present theirs. Then…it was Sevens turn. Seven walked up to the front of the class with Felicity, his head hanging in shame. Felicity was on one side of the room, and Seven was on the other. He sighed, and looked at her. He looked at her ears and her tail and thought about the fight with Carlonoah. He then thought about the fight with Nicholas, and Ivy, and Peterson. He thought something to himself, along the lines of “I’ve left all those fights alive, why can’t I do this…” He didn’t say anything for a good 20 seconds. He then had a lightbulb flash in his mind. “I just… I just have to throw myself into it…I can’t stop in the middle of it…” He took a deep breath, and pointed at Felicity with the raw power of determination in his face. “FELICITY LIENINE! THE HUMAN RACE HAS BEEN EVER EVOLVING SINCE A MERE 300 THOUSAND YEARS AGO! THROUGH THE PROCESS, WE’VE BEEN ENHANCING OURSELVES, WITH MEANINGLESS ACTIVITIES SUCH AS EXERCISING AND MEDICINE! BUT I, SEVEN TRECIDECIM, HAVE FOUND THE TRUE WAY TO PUSH THE HUMAN RACE TO IT’S ULTIMATE POTENTIAL! PEOPLE HAVE ALWAYS FOUND WAYS TO BETTER THE HUMAN, BUT NEVER TO CHANGE THE HUMAN! MY WORK IS NOT MEANINGLESS, FOR I HAVE CREATED THE ULTIMATE HUMAN! THE CAT HUMAN! YOU, FELICITY LIENINE, ARE THE ULTIMATE HUMAN! YEARS OF HUMAN EVOLUTION HAVE GONE INTO YOUR CREATION! GALILEO, PLATO, SOCRATES, NEWTON, TESLA, EINSTEIN, LINCOLN, WASHINGTON, SHAKESPEARE, DA VINCI, MICHAELANGELO, COPERNICUS, FRANKLIN, VAN GOGH, FORD, TWAIN, THE WRIGHTS, NAPOLEON, ARISTOTLE, HOMER, EVEN JESUS CHRIST! ALL OF HUMANITY HAS BEEN LEADING UP TO THIS POINT, THE POINT IN WHICH I MAKE HUMANITY ANEW! FELICITY, WE NEED TO CONTINUE THIS! THE TIME THAT IT TAKES TO MAKE ONE CAT PERSON IS TOO LONG! DO YOU UNDERSTAND? FELICITY, YOU HAVE TO HAVE MY CAT CHILDREN! FELICITY, I HANDCRAFTED YOU TO BE PERFECT FOR THIS JOB! YOUR BOSOM WAS MADE TO PERFECTLY GIVE OUR CHILDREN THE SWEET SWEET MILK CATS LOVE! AND YOUR WAIST WAS OPTIMALLY MADE FOR GIVING BIRTH! BUT EVEN THROUGH ALL OF THIS, I NEVER THOUGHT I’D FALL FOR YOU THIS HARD! YOUR KINDNESS WAS NOTHING BUT LUCKY, FOR A LUCKY GUY! AND YOU CAN MAKE ME EVEN LUCKIER, FELICITY I BEG YOU, PLEASE BECOME MY WIFE! I WANT FOR YOU TO CONTINUE THE LEGACY THAT ALL BEFORE US HAVE LAID FOR US! THEIR EFFORTS CAN’T GO IN VAIN, NOT WHEN THIS OPPORTUNITY IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF US! FELICITY, OUR DNA CAN BE CHANGED, I CAN CHANGE THE WHOLE WORLD, CAN YOU IMAGINE THE THINGS A WORLD FILLED WITH CAT HUMANS COULD DO? IT’S WONDERFUL FELICITY, JUST LIKE YOU! WE WALK THROUGH THE GARDEN OF TIME, AND I WANT TO LAY MY SEEDS IN IT! BUT BEFORE THAT, I HAVE TO LAY MY SEED IN YOU! FELICITY, THIS IS YOUR CHOICE! IF I WILL TRULY PAY MY RESPECTS TO HISTORY, AND SET THE TONE FOR THE FUTURE, YOU HAVE TO AGREE! YOU HAVE TO AGREE, ON WHETHER OR NOT YOU CHANGE HISTORY! FOR RIGHT NOW, DO NOT THINK OF ME AS YOUR MASTER, THINK OF ME AS AN INNOVATOR! MY WORK HAS BEEN CHASTISED BY MANY PEOPLE, BUT THEY MAY PRAISE MY NAME IN THE HISTORY BOOKS! THE MAN WHO CHANGED THE WORLD! WE HAVE THE POWER TO CREATE A NEW RACE! A WHOLE NEW RACE OF BEING! WE ARE ON PAR WITH GODS, FELICITY! AND THAT IS WHY TODAY, I ASK YOU TO MARRY ME! IT’S FINE IF YOU DON’T WANT TO MARRY ME! YOU’RE FREE TO DECLINE! BUT IF YOU DO, CAN YOU AT LEAST…HAVE SEX WITH ME!

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The room was silent. Iris muttered, “Oh my god, he did it…” The theatre teacher walked up to him. “Seven, I never thought you would have this much of a theatre spirit. Just for your performance today, you get, not only a 100%, but the lead role in the upcoming play.” He turned to the other students. “Seeing his performance made me realize how lifeless you all were, so all of you will be getting a 50% at max for this assignment! And, instead of being 10% of your grade this quarter, it’s 40%!” Iris told the teacher, “Ms. Shiver, that is not fair!” The teacher told her, “Iris, don’t talk to me in that tone. When you write something as utterly perfect as Seven has, then you can!” Seven went back to his seat, and Felicity sat next to him. “Sorry about that,” he said. Felicity covered her mouth, and was rubbing her legs together. “You don’t have to say sorry Seven, besides…I kind of liked some of the things you said and got…excited… Just kidding, teehee, you sounded like a complete pervert!” Seven sighed, “Well...at least we’ll get a good grade for this.” Class ended, and Iris walked up to Seven, “Seven…damn your Wonderwall.”

Period 4, Journalism

Perspective Shift: Steven

When Steven and Seven walked into the class, he saw that everyone was crowded around the window. He walked up to Iris, who was sitting in her seat, watching with Slide Zone. “What’s going on here,” Steven asked. Iris answered, “Three giant mountains just appeared out of nowhere a few miles away. People are saying it’s a work of god…I know it must be a signature.” Mr. Noronake walked up to the group, “I’m saying the same thing. The signature user is probably up at the top of the biggest mountain, the middle one. Guys, let's go over there tomorrow to check it out. I’ve got a meeting after today.” Marty walked in, chugging a bottle of vegetable oil. When he was finished, he wiped off the oil from his chin, and looked at the window. “Mountains? In Florida?” He walked over to Steven and the others, “These signatures man…” Seven said, “Hmm, what would even be the point of that…” Iris changed the topic, “On the other hand, have you guys seen those videos of Ignited Justice? He’s a signature user who’s going viral for beating up criminals. Here’s a video.” She pulled out her phone, and put it on a video of a student with an orange and red superhero suit on, with a mask. “YOUR JUSTICE IS HERE,” the student yelled, before beating up a thief. “Weird…” Steven said after seeing the video. Marty was impressed, “God damn! The way that guy fights is damn-near perfect!” Mr. Noronake let out a sigh of relief, “Well, at least there’s someone out there using their signature to protect others.” Class started, and people kept spreading food around. A bag of flour passed from Clara’s hand to the whole room. “Psst psst, pass me some!” “You owe me!” That kind of stuff. Once class was done, Steven went up to Mr. Noronake, and told him “I can’t come with you guys to the mountain tomorrow, I have plans with a friend. Sorry.” Mr. Noronake told him, “No problem. Wait here please,” He looked through the closet, but came out empty-handed. “Damn, I forgot it at home. I’ll bring it for you tomorrow.” “A weapon?” “No, just a gift I suppose.”

Period 5, Gym

Spencer was eating a raw piece of a drumstick. He went up to Marty, “You know Marty, Friday at 12 am is the first Sports Club meeting. Ya gotta get there, I’ve been speaking to people about this club and it sounds like it’ll be great.”