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Chapter 68: ???

I die.

  In an instant I am ripped from this strange mortal coil and am flung up into the all encompassing darkness that is the ‘other side’. Only after my spirit shoots out of me as if propelled by the force of the explosion itself, as I fly and spiral wildly out of control into that place, only then do I stop moving, stop being. Only then do I have a second to gather myself and to collect my thoughts. Only then do I have a second to leave the emotionality of the goblin elder behind, to leave the faces of the bright young goblin troop behind. They’re a memory of the past now I sigh with relief. Just like all the others. They’re smiles I don’t have to protect anymore. A weight off of my shoulder.

  What a relief it is to be alone. To be lonely. You don’t have to care about anyone if you cut yourself off from everyone and sometimes… sometimes that’s just easier, you know? I wasn’t really sure at first how that life was going to turn out honestly. I was just kind of making it up as we went along, up those stairs. But I suppose it ended differently than I had expected. I feel… lightened in a sense. The fact that I finally stood up and fought back against the thief-girl is… it’s lightening. I feel light. Weightless, if you’ll pardon the expression given the circumstances at the moment.

  Bet she didn’t expect that though. Did I kill her? I wonder. I feel bad. I don’t like hurting people, even jerks like her. But honestly. Sometimes you have to make a point, you know? I suppose that’s the lesson I learned today. It doesn’t matter what I do, people are gonna die. Goblins are gonna die, spiders are gonna die, slimes are gonna die, I’m gonna die. We’re all going to die each and every time and I don’t need to feel bad for standing up for myself. For fighting back once in a while. If I do it in a controlled fashion. If I go about it right, humanely; if I don’t lose myself to the frenzy and the red. I think I can fight back then with a clear conscience.

  At least against her. I don’t think I have it in me to hurt the priestess honestly. Oh man, speaking of. He actually hit the hero! Wow! I’m a little jealous. Has anyone ever hit the hero? Man! What a day. I wonder how Phil did in his duel? Then again, I wonder if Phil even exists anymore. That Phil. I suppose time is rewinding as we speak, erasing the footprints I left behind and putting all of the little pieces back at their starting points. Freshly polished and all the blood wiped right off. Good as new, right?

I float. Good as new.

Not a moment later I feel the draw of the world below. The icy touch of the demon claw reaching out from the dungeon and grasping me tight, tearing me down into the waiting world bel-

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  Blup… Blup… I propel myself forward and look around the bleak, dark world surrounding me. Blup. Stagnant, brackish water goes through my gills as I swim forward, searching for sustenan- nan- ce-cnc ehg…? Mouth open. Food enters. Food. Food. Blup. No taste. Nourishment. Dark. Dark. Blup. Particles in water. Loud. Very loud here. Roar.

Eyes scan. Eyes see. Darkness. Nothing. Blup. Fish. Fish. Blup. I float, drifting lazily through the still calm waters of the floor ninety-si- si- blup? Light. One. One light.

Swim. Swim away. Darkness. Blup. Old one? Old one. Old one. Fear. Avoid. Swim. Blup.

Movement. Eyes scan. ESCAP-!

Two long venomous fangs sink into my fishy body and I feel hot goo shoot into me, seeping out from the fangs of the serpent and befouling my body. I shudder, my eyes spasm.

I die.

  I rise up back into the void, into the state of limbo I just left a minute ago trying to process what the hell that was. Guess I was a fish? Weird. I guess that’s a thing now, guy. Well. Okay. I guess. They can’t all be heroic adventures, you know? Sometimes you wake up in the morning and you’re a fish. Sometimes you wake up and get eaten by a venomous serpent. It can happen to the best of us sometimes, you know? There’s no shame in it. Next time will be the one though. I can feel it in my bones!

I float, now again in limbo. I wonder, is there like some kind of time-god or something? Do you think I’m getting on their nerves because of all this respawning? I hope not. It’s not the life I would have chosen, guy. But it is what it i-

  My eyes shoot open in wide, feral paranoia as I stare around at the forest around myself. I can feel my teeth gnashing and grinding as my tiny body fidgets and twitches. The red cap on my head dangling down loosely past my forehead. Saliva and spittle fly out of my mouth as I snarl at the challenger before me. He snarls back and we lunge at each other, teeth and claws ripping into each other’s flesh as we scream and bite and tear into each other’s guts. Eating each other’s fingers as we roll around in the muck.

The others come. They hear. They smell. They swarm us both and rip and tear and eat our guts and eyes, hacking and chopping and clawing and slashing and stabbing and cutting. RED. RED. RED.

I die.

  Limbo surrounds me once again. Ah. Ouch. That one really hurt. Ow. I can still feel that. Ah. I wish I had a body to shake out, because I really want to get rid of that feeling. Oof. Being a red-cap was worse than I thought it would be. Also, what? That was like ten seconds. But I think I’m glad I didn’t have to be one for long. Don’t wanna risk it. Besides, I have standards you know?

Gross. Talk about unlucky though. I don’t think I’ve had a real short life like that in a while actually. Now I’ve had two in a row. Talk about crazy rolls of the dice. Ah, here it comes. Okay! Third times the char-!

  I open my eyes and squeak-squeak. Rat? Rat-rat! Yes! I look around the darkness, sniffing, scurrying, searching. Searching for brothers, searching for queen. Queen-queen. My whiskers bounce up around in the air as I stand on my legs and sniff-sniff, searching. But, wait. Something is wrong. I look around. There is no sewer here? This is cave. Stone. Stone-stone. No green water. No queen. No queen? In panic I look up and around to decipher just what hell-hole I’ve landed in this time.

Just as I raise my head into the air, just as I look to the side I see the gigantic, blobby form fly my way. The wiggling, jiggling apex predator an inch from my face. Wet. Wet. Burn. BURN!

  The slime surrounds me in an instant, swallowing me up whole in its mass. I can’t breathe, I wiggle-wiggle and scream-scream but no brothers hear. No queen hears as the acid dissolves my flesh, my face, my tongue, my teeth. As I burn away from the outside in, as the goo fills my throat and burns me away from the inside out, I die.

I return to limbo and I float.