Ah. What a life that was. I got to crawl through sewage. I got to be pampered again. I got smushed by a boot. Good times! Really living the dream for sure! Oh man, I would have gotten away that time too if it wasn’t for that meddling thief-girl but… hmm. You know, I have the feeling the thief is going to stay mad about this one for a while honestly. That was probably worse than our other encounters for her. I’m usually big on personal boundaries and all that, you know? But I’m also big on not dying so… choices were made. Things happened. Now I think it’s fair if we just suggest we’ll all forget any of this ever happened and that we should move on together into a more peaceful future, right guy?

I float. The weather in limbo is great this time of year, very zen and… non-existent. I didn’t find the stairs, but I learned some interesting things, no I’m not talking about underwear related things, guy. Come on. Keep it together. We’re professionals, remember?

  No, I learned that the rat-queen is a fairy matriarch like the fairy of the fountain, like… the fairy-mother down on floor uh… hmm… I want to say ninety-seven? Her boss arena. So that makes three fairy matriarchs I know about and as far as I can tell they all seem to recognize me after respawning? They all seem to… wait. I think back to the fairy-mother, it’s been a long time and the details are… vague, to say the least. But wasn’t she kind of creepin’ me the whole time?

  If fairy matriarchs can see a creature’s aura, does that mean she saw from the get-go that I was different when I was a dark-fairy? Is that why she kept peepin’ my goods? And doesn’t that mean that she respawns too? That the rat-queen respawns too? I’m starting to build a connection here in my mind, guy, tell you what. So fairy matriarchs can respawn like me? Does that mean I’m a fairy? I sure hope not. I don’t feel like I want to be a fairy, you know? Nah, I suppose I don’t have to be one. The thief-girl respawns too, right? I guess. She’s an elf, which is in a sense only related to fairies in that she has sharp ears too. So… okay, fairy matriarch is a strong connection to respawning, but not absolutely required? I guess? Hmm.

  I’ll have to remember to check in with the rat-queen next time I find my way past her to confirm. But… then again… I think I made her mad at the end there. Maybe she won’t be too pleased to see me again if she recognizes my insides. Maybe that isn’t a great idea, but you know what? We’ll cross that sewer-spanning bridge when we get there.

  Until then, uh… hmm. I guess I’ll just keep on keeping on like always. I wonder what I get to be next. Being a rat was weird. I think I’m noticing a trend like I said. Bear with me here, but the more… simple a creature is, the harder it is to resist it. To not become it. The more ah… human, for a lack of a better word, my respawn is the more I feel at home and in control. I guess I’ll need to keep an eye on that also in the future to keep things in balance a little more. Man, lots of stuff I need to remember. I should make a note again, I haven’t done that in a while.

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I float in silence and wait, my train of thoughts having come to an end for the first time in uh… ever, I suppose. It is quiet. I am uncomfortable.

I don’t like it when it’s quiet. I mean it’s nice to have a minute to breathe but… there’s something about the quiet. The being alone in every sense of the word. I need to find myself a roommate again. Something to fill the literal void.

I float and wait for the inevitable.

Sure enough it comes, that familiar tingle. That feeling that I’m being cast down into the realm of the living once again, rejected by whatever ethereal forces govern this domain as if they were telling me to shoo-shoo.

  As I reopen my eyes I hear a familiar crackle that I recognize as a burning fire. I hear familiar voices and smell familiar stinks. I look down to my little green hands, worn and weathered. A knotted staff made from the hard core of some ancient giant mushroom clenched tightly in my grip and a long brown robe hanging down to my boots. A leather pouch adorns my rat-fur rope belt. I’m a goblin-caster today. That’s neat I guess. Old school. Back to basics. Really returning to my roots here, guy. When was I goblin-caster the last time? Neat! Magic is always fun. Even if it's just fire-magic.

  Looking around myself, I realize I am standing inside of the goblin-king’s palace, off in the rafters. A support add-on for his sub-boss fight. Eh, I can work with that I guess. Maybe it’ll be fun to just stand around and lob fireballs at the hero-party from a distance today you know? Throw up a barrier here and there, maybe one or two explosions and then call it a night. I think I’m too slow to run up this time in this body so… yeah, time to take a breather I guess?

  Just as I finish thinking of such luxury a cracking voice breaks the silence, a lone, very sweaty, goblin patrolman runs into the room, sprinting through the open arena towards the back. Towards the great throne where today he’s sitting; the goblin-king himself in all of his chunky, height-fearing glory. He’s a large creature, easily the size as a minotaur and as wide as two. How did a goblin get so big you might be wondering? Dungeon magic.

  Several of the royal-guards intercept the patrolman who is shouting frantically a slew of jumbled words. Something about stairs and… aaaah… they’re just figuring out they can use the real stairs now. So we’ve come back, pardon the expression, ‘just in time’ to see the show, nice. Several of the royal-guards look at each other skeptically, obviously not believing the patrolman. Us? Go up stairs? Never. That’s crazy talk, right? Yeah.

The king slowly raises his hand and they all fall silent. His face looks up to the ceiling, his expression changing as if he was listening intently to a voice only he can hear in the quiet.

He raises his gaze and speaks “Go to the stairs, all of you. Take as many fighters as you can find on the way. Climb. Go as high as you can. Dungeon-master has willed it so.”

They all salute and, despite looking a little perplexed, go to do exactly as he commands without question.

“Wait” he interrupts their leaving and they look back to him.

“Take that one with you as tribute to dragon” he says pointing to uh…

I look around to my left and right.

To me?

Oh.

Oh no.