I press my foot against the stone wall next to us and use my leaping ability to kick off of it, sending me sliding back over the stones. The hollow armor rattles, clambering together as my movement sends him flying to the ground where he shatters apart, just as I come to a halt a few yards away. What a dick.

Sitting up, I lift a hand, obscuring my vision of the raging fire that burns out of his armor. Lowering it next to my mouth I call out towards him. “Easy there, friend. Have you tried breathing to calm yourself down?” I don’t know if he can hear me around all of the fire though. Plus he’s still screaming. He seems really angry. Really, really angry.

My skull cracks, my spine is yanked back into place as the dungeon readjusts me as I rise to my feet. The broken hollow-armor, engulfed in fire, rattles and shakes as it pulls itself back together. Not through any force of dungeon-magic, he’s just doing it all by himself. I feel kind of bad for him, the poor guy must have had a really rough day. I like how emotional he is about this though, look at him go! Just look at those eyes, would you?

My jaw lets out a loud pop as it is reattached firmly into place.

The screaming stops, but the fire doesn’t as a shaking hand grabs the helmet, wrapping its fingers around the top of it and pressing down with them, carving deep dents into the metal from the pressure of his grip.

“Are you okay?” I ask him, watching as his broken legs begin to wobble, as the shattered, hole-ridden armor rises to its feet, its heavy chest bent over forward as if it were too heavy to hold up himself.

“MIIKA!” yells the strange man with a sharp bark and I rub my head, listening to his voice echo all around us as it travels down the destroyed hallway.

“Who’s Miika?” I ask as I walk towards him, taking a second to extinguish a small fire that is spreading down at my feet. Wouldn’t want the dungeon to burn. Don’t worry dungeon-master, I’ll protect our home. “I think you have me mixed up with someone else, guy. You good?”

A hand shoots out, grabbing the upper rim of my breastplate as he yanks me towards him, pulling his upper body upright at the same time. There is a loud clanking, as he slams his helmet back onto his head. His eyes meet mine and he glares at me with an emotion that can not be interpreted as anything but passionate anger. “What do you think you’re doing?!” Fire crawls up his arm, running down the length of it like a winding serpent that coils its way towards my throat, ready to sink its fangs into my flesh.

Jokes on you, fire-snake. I don’t have any meat to bite and you aren’t even real.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

“I’m climbing up the dungeon,” I tell him, grabbing his hand and pulling it off of my neck.

“Why aren’t you killing the hero?!” asks the burning man and I look around us, before turning back to him and shrugging.

“He’s not here right now,” I say plainly.

The creature’s haunted eyes widen. “What do you mean he’s not here right now?!”

“He’s not here right now. I think they’re taking a day off. Are you okay?”

“A day o-“ the man looks down, looking at my hand that is still holding his. He yanks his hand away before I manage to finish interlocking our fingers. His body rattles, his hands pressing against his head from either side, as if to try and keep it still, as if an energy were coursing through his body and rattling him, shaking him and causing his metal to vibrate with such intensity. “A day off?” he mutters to himself as his eyes dart from left to right, as if he were chasing the shadows caused by his own glow, his fingers pressing down so hard that I can hear his armor creaking. The fire inside dies down a little, the licking flames drawing back into his chest. “A day off?!” He does his best to hold his head straight as his body shakes. As if that was the only thing that let’s him think straight.

I nod in affirmation, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Yeah. I haven’t seen them in a while. Take it easy. We’ll get 'em tomorrow, guy.”

His eyes shoot up towards me, his shaking stops and his fingers begin to ply loose from his head. “No,” is all that he says as he turns around, as his shaking body stiffens up and as the fire that leaks out of every orifice and broken piece of armor returns to a constant glow that is locked into his inner core. The hollow-armor bends down and digs through the pile of bodies, picking up one of the pole-axes and rising to his feet, having now found his balance. “I want him. Today. Now,” says the man, turning back to me with a fury in his eyes.

“You’re taking this very personally, friend,” I say, walking after him, as my curiosity is peaked to say the least. A tuft of fire lashes out of a hole in his back, whipping towards me. I duck down, pulling myself away just in time as it smashes against the wall where I was just standing.

The man doesn’t say anything, simply staring at me for a second. “They’re not downstairs?”

I rise back to my feet, looking at the stranger and I shake my head. “No, I’m coming from downstairs. The hero-party is definitely upstairs somewhere. Don’t ask me why though.”

He nods and keeps walking. I run after him. “Oh! Oh!” I call excitedly, catching up to the stranger. “Are you going upstairs too? You wanna walk together?”

“Shut up,” says the man, clutching his face with one hand as he drags the long pole-axe behind him with the other, its blade scraping along the stones.

“Do you think we’ll be friends? Who’s Miika? Do I look like him? Did you get us mixed up?” I ask. Lifting an elbow, I nudge the man. “Or is Miika a her? Eh? Eh?”

“Shut up,” says the man, his burning eyes growing wider and glowing with a clearer intent every second.

“Ah, sorry. Hey, I like your armor. Look!” I clank my free hand against my chest. “It’s just like mine!”

“Shut up,” says the man pointedly and I frown. What a grump. I wonder, how do you win someone like this over? Hmm… oh! I know, maybe humor is the best way to win him over? Maybe if I make him laugh, he’ll feel better and he’ll start to like me? I wonder if we can be friends? Ah! It’s really exciting finding somebody who looks like me and who is also going the same way as I am, what a coincidence! I’m the luckiest guy in the entire dungeon.

“Hey, so-“ I start, he turns to glare at me, his fiery eyes burning with a deep malice. “- Hot enough for you?”

The man lifts a hand, placing his broken, rattling finger against my skeleton ‘lips’ to shush me. “Shut.”

He lowers his hand and keeps on walking and I stand there, my fingers softly grazing the spot on my face that he touched. Someone touched me, guy. My face. Wow! I’m never going to wash this spot again. Excited, I run after the stranger, watching as a trail of fire leaks out of his back, almost as if he has a long cape. What a cool guy! He touched me, that means we’re friends now, right?

AH! I’m so happy! Giddily, I run after my new friend. I hope we get along. As I run to his side, I grab his free hand that swings there. With a disgusted grunt, he yanks his hand away and keeps walking.

Ah! This is the best!