Bmmmmm-
I feel it. I feel it. I feel it. I don’t have bones, but I feel it. I don’t have eyes, but I see it. I see the darkness all around myself. The humming darkness of limbo. The buzzing energy that converges here, vanishing into the void, like sparks shooting from a cut wire, only to fade away into the black murk. Like shining stars sitting high atop the apex of the world, drowning in the pitch of the black-water night sky. Guy. Guy. Hold my hand, will you? I don’t care which one. I feel like I need to scratch my soul, but I don’t want to.
What just happened? I float, the vague entity that I am floating in the equally as vague void.
What just happened? Did the dungeon-master just…? No. No, they wouldn’t have. They wouldn’t have. The dungeon-master loves us all, they wouldn’t have done anything like that. Even if they’re mad at me. Haha. Yeah. Even if they’re mad at me. It was just a bad day, that’s all. I bet they’re sitting there right now. I bet they’re talking to Madison right now, telling her that they had to put on a show for me. They’re probably laughing about it. They’re probably laughing about it, the two of them. They really showed me!
I claw at my head, even though I have no hands, even though I have no head. Why aren’t you holding my hands, guy?! I specifically asked you to, so that I wouldn’t scratch!
The strange, shapeless, blobby entity that is me contorts and squirms like a rain-cloud filled with worms. Obviously for the sake of this metaphor, the worms can fly. And also, when they squirm, they make the cloud move around. Kind of like if they were in a bag.
Hmm… what?
Why didn’t I just say ‘bag’ for my metaphor then? Because shut up, guy. Smart-ass. If you’re so clever, then why are you so miserable? Eh? If you’re as smart as you think you are, then why aren’t you happy?
I thought so.
Shut up.
We float.
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My hands keep digging into my head though. It itches. There’s something in the water and its itchy.
I’m sorry guy, I’m not trying to be a jerk. It’s just been a long week, you know? I had a real sudden break-up just a few minutes ago and I think I might be living in an unhealthy environment, you know? You know?
It was a nice feeling though, wasn’t it? That warm sensation. That feeling of having a soul touch yours. It was so warm. It made the itching stop for a while. It made the humming stop for a while. It filled me with conviction.
Why are we still floating?
I guess the dungeon-master is really laying it on thick, haha! What a fun person they are.
You know who I miss?
The fairy-mother. She was nice, I should go pay her a visit again. She looked sad all the time, but I still liked being around her. It’s comforting, you know? To be around other sad people. It makes me feel less alone. But I guess that’s counter-productive. If you’re sad and you surround yourself with sadness, you’re just digging deeper.
So I guess I can’t be sad. I guess I have to be happy, so that I buzz with electricity. So that I shine. So that I go bmmmmmm- when people are near me and then they’ll see. Then they’ll see. They’ll see with their eyes and they’ll look at me and they’ll all whisper secretly-
CONVICTION.
And I’ll be like. Yeah.
My clawing fingers reach for my brain, but no matter how deep inside of myself I push, I can’t seem to reach it.
We’re floating for a long time today, guy. I guess the dungeon-master can’t make up their mind.
How many eyes have I had so far? Do you remember? My soul contorts itself as I think.
At least two each, but some of my lives didn’t have eyes. Some of them had more than two. It gets confusing fast.
Haha. I wonder what the dungeon-master is doing, if they’re taking so long? I wonder what SUSSERANT is doing? I bet she’s having a nice time. I wonder what Madison is up to? I bet the dungeon-master is letting her take a break, you know, a little vacation? It would ruin their scheme if I saw her floating around, after all. Haha! I see through your plot, dungeon-master. I have more than enough eyes for that. Some of them are green. Some of them are blue. Some of them are yellow, but all of them are only for you~
I clutch my cheeks, embarrassed, thinking about the dungeon-master who is always watching me. Always watching me. Always watching me.
I float.
Always watching me. Me, you and I. You, me and I. I, you, me.
I-you-me.
Iyoume? That’s a nice word. Is that a name? I like it. Iyoume. EYEYOUMEEEEEEE~
- Can I go now?
Floating is boring. I still have so much work to do. IYOUME is counting on me to get out of the dungeon and to save everyone. That’s what the hero would do, you know? Save everyone. Save everyone. Save everyone. Even if they don’t have eyes. Even if they aren’t IYOUME. That’s what we gotta do, guy. That’s the hero’s burden. Haha!
I spin around in a circle, as my shapeless mass contorts and squirms like a worm in a bag.
Hello?
I float, spiraling around the quiet darkness that is filled with nothing but the voice inside of me, that I project out to fill the bleakness that is limbo.
Hello? Is anyone there? I float, asking the darkness. But nobody responds. It’s just me. There’s nobody here but me. Me, you, iyoumi and the eyes. The whole gang's together again, haha!
It’s quiet.
Why isn’t the dungeon-master pulling me back out? Why are we still floating? I don’t want to float. It’s making me feel alone. I feel alone. Guy? Are you there?
Hello?
Is anyone there? I want to go now. Please. It’s dark here. Hello?
Anyone? Dungeon-master?
I float.