The hurt in his tone was nearly unbearable for her as she tried to find some way to tell him all the reasons she had for hesitating to save him in the way Lucian had. But she also knew that telling him about the price he would end up paying for that salvation would be traumatic for him, to say the least. Again, she found herself at another impossible decision, brought on once more by her inability to shut off her feelings for a mere mortal. Though one thing she was sure of was that she could not endure that pain in his voice at the mistaken belief that she had somehow chosen to not save him.

She finally made her voice work after another long pause, “just last night, you told me you trusted me with your life. I hope you still remember that, and realize that I had very real reasons for hesitating to do what Lucian did.”

Eliot simply scoffed again, still not able to look back at her. “I don’t suppose you plan on sharing those reasons with me” he returned, though under his breath. His eyes were down-turned, his mind providing him with the worst possible reasons already, or so he thought.

“Remember how our conversation started tonight? I asked you why you wanted to stay here so badly. And you couldn’t answer” she sighed sadly, “it’s his blood. That’s the reason you want to stay. It does more than just heal” she forced herself to admit, her eyes showing the fear of what she'd see in his own if she allowed herself to turn back to him.

Though he did turn his own gaze back to her with more than a bit of panic breaking through his sadness, “his blood is the reason I want to stay?” he asked with confusion, then made himself add, “and what else does it do Claire, if not turning me into one of you, then what?” he breathed the question rather than spoke it.

Claire took a moment to gather the strength to confess to him what he was truly in for now that he had tasted their blood. Though her fear of his reaction was tangible. But it was something he did need to know, if for no other reason than being aware enough to not allow Lucian the chance to make the bond any stronger than it already was.

“Before I tell you any of this, you need to know that it’s temporary, so please remember that it will all pass, as long as you don’t taste our blood again.”

“Temporary?”

“Yes, as long as you don’t drink any more, it’ll wear off in a month, or a few months, it’s hard to guess. It comes down to your willpower and your constitution I suppose. But it does wear off” she assured him once more.

“Temporary meaning I’ll get sick again when it does?” he whispered, closing his eyes as he spoke that thought aloud.

“It’s possible, depending on the type of sickness. Meaning, if you had something terminal for instance, then it definitely would come back once the blood left your system. But anything else you should be safe from. Though you could always get another illness, which would always be possible without the blood in your veins. But that’s true for any human, I suppose.”

Eliot took another breath to process her words, “go back to the part about his blood being the reason I want to stay. What does that even mean?”

Claire let out another sad sigh, “the effects of the blood aren’t just physical, Eliot. And that’s the main reason I was so wary of forcing those effects upon you at all. It’s because I do care about you. I care about the person you really are, and your real feelings. That’s why it was such a hard decision for me to make. And why it was such an easy one for a complete stranger to make for me. For us” she added more quietly.

“Explain please” he whispered, his voice shuddering as tears began to well up at the fears her words inspired.

“When one of us gives a mortal our blood, it’s not because we just want to make you feel better, or stronger, or make your life last a bit longer; though those are all things it does too” she had to admit.

Eliot let out another breath, “go on” he made himself say.

“It’s the way we keep ourselves safe, during the day, when we’re completely defenseless and at the most risk of true death. I mean, you’ve seen me when the sun’s high in the sky. You know that I’m basically dead, unable to move, or wake, or do anything at all to protect myself if I ever had a need to.”

“I still don’t understand what you’re trying to say, Claire. What is his blood going to do to me?” he asked again.

“Like I said, it’s how we protect ourselves. When a mortal tastes any vampire’s blood, it starts a... connection” she decided on, “between that mortal and the one whose blood they tasted. You begin to feel certain things for the vampire. Things you might not ever feel for them at all, otherwise. If you drink from the same one enough, they become more important to you than your own life. It makes you love them so much that you would literally die to protect them. It’s how we’ve survived so long. By turning our biggest threat into our most loyal allies. And I realize how horrible that must sound. But I hope, now you realize why it was that I was so very torn about doing that to you. I want your feelings to be real, not forced upon you by my blood. And that’s why I couldn’t make myself act quickly enough to save you. And why he could” she sniffled as she finished, the tears slipping down her cheeks then as she turned her face away once more.

Eliot took a long moment, trying to compose himself through shaking breaths, before finding his voice again, “that’s how I’m going to feel about this doctor? I’m going to love him more than myself... or anyone else?” he added in a quiet whisper.

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“Not yet” she assured as she quickly turned to him, covering his hands with her own, “if you’ve only tasted his blood once, then you’ll likely just dream of him, and feel drawn to him, and not understand why.” Claire then looked down again, though her hands remained on his, “though I guess that much is obvious already” she had to admit.

Eliot looked only slightly relieved by that fact before continuing, “and if I was given his blood more than once?” he had to ask.

“After the second sip, he’d become very important to you. You might start going out of your way to seek Lucian’s attention or please him. It would become... difficult for you to do anything that might hurt him. And Lucian would find it very easy to convince you of things. Though that’s when the addiction truly would start, but you’d still have your free will. At least until the third drink” she added in a whisper.

“Addiction?”

“We need blood to survive. It’s addictive for us as well. We’re just stronger. Better able to fight the addiction and deny ourselves, if we have to. For humans, it’s much harder to fight the way that the blood makes you feel. Like opium” she admitted, eyes down as she recalled a particularly dark chapter of her own past. Then she looked up to see the fear in his eyes, “but if you’ve only had one taste, then you could likely avoid the worst of it. If you keep from ever tasting our blood again, you’ll probably get through this all with only minimal symptoms of any kind of withdrawal when it eventually wears off.”

Eliot just shook his head at all of her warnings and explanations, not even sure how to react to any of it at this point. But at least now he knew the true reasons why Claire had not done what Lucian had, and he tried to cling to that one comfort then, as best he even could. While all the while,thinking of nothing but the looming reality of what this all would actually mean for him now.

“Why would he do this to me?” he finally asked, more to himself, after several long moments of trying to come to terms with it all.

Claire sniffled slightly, “I suppose he may have just honestly wanted to save you. If we can even call it saving” she added more quietly.

“But to go to such lengths, for some dying stranger he had just met? Unless he does honestly intend to try and keep me as his pet or some such thing?” Eliot shook his head once more.

“I’m not one of the ones who can read thoughts, remember?” she told him sadly as she laid her head upon his shoulder. “And that’s just one more reason why I want us to leave this place as soon as possible. Before any more damage may be done.”

He then looked back over at her, “but don’t you also want to know why he did this? What his intentions really are here?” Eliot asked, which caused Claire to look up at him worriedly, “Is this where you tell me it’s his blood that is making me want to know that answer?” he replied upon seeing the worry clear in her eyes.

“It’s understandable that you’d want answers. I want them too” she assured, “but more than that, I want to keep him from having even the slightest chance to feed you any more of his blood.”

“You’re afraid of him, aren’t you?” Eliot asked with a new wave of worry.

“I can see the way others feel. Their auras. It lets me know who’s a threat and who’s not” she attempted to explain, “only, it doesn’t work with a vampire who’s stronger than me, or often, one whose sire was just as powerful as mine.”

He narrowed his eyes at her statement, “and?”

“And I can’t see Lucian’s, Eliot. So that means he fits into one of those two groups. And that means” she sighed, “that if I were to confront him and it led to any sort of retaliation, I may not be the clear winner. And if he managed to harm me, where would that leave you?” she asked softly.

“So, you’re afraid of him” he repeated with a frown.

Claire closed her eyes again before answering, “I’m afraid for you.”

----------------------------------------

Though both Claire and Eliot wanted answers, it was obvious that the risk of staying there and trying to get them was too great. At least while Lucian’s blood was still in Eliot’s veins. So they did make the final decision to leave the inn that night and book passage on a train heading west.

Although once they had claimed the rather small quarters that would essentially be their home for a very long cross-country trek, more side effects of Eliot’s current state began inching their way to the surface once again.

Eliot watched her attentively as she moved about the cabin, finding places for their belongings. Each time Claire leaned forward, causing her breasts to nearly spill out from behind her corset, or the thin material of her dress to cling more tightly to her backside, he felt his body responding. And that response was much quicker, and much more intense than what he was used to. Yes, they had been lovers for a long while now, but it usually took at least a bit of foreplay to get him into the state he seemed to have immediately arrived at that night, just by watching her innocently move about, still fully clothed at that.

Sensing his eyes on her, and the sound of his breath becoming more shallow, Claire couldn’t help looking back at him. She was a bit startled by how hungrily those eyes seemed to be devouring her right then, despite her pre-existing knowledge of exactly why his desires were so much more heightened now. She swallowed slowly as she looked back at where he took more than a moment to force his eyes to meet her gaze.

“Something you needed?” she asked him softly.

What Eliot needed was a long moment to call on his voice before he could find any response for her through the desire that was now screaming through his brain, “two beds? That’s rather unfortunate” he told her breathily.

“Same as it was on the trains in Europe” she replied, managing a small smile.

“I wasn’t really that bothered by the fact then” he admitted, as his eyes moved over her again, neither of them paying much attention to the sound of passengers moving by their door, finding their way to their own quarters before the train pulled into motion at last.

“And you are bothered by it now?” she asked him softly as she took a step closer, already knowing the answer to her question, as well as the reasons behind it.

“I suppose we’ll have to make due” he told her even more breathlessly as he stood and pulled her into his embrace again, his mouth covering hers as he held her body tightly against his, where his arousal was more than obvious, even through their clothing.

Claire was once again startled by his intensity, though she had expected it, just not before the train had even started moving that night. Nonetheless, knowing what she knew about the desires of those bound, she didn’t pull away, and she did allow herself to return the kiss.

At least this time they were behind a closed door, she told herself as his tongue slid inside her mouth, promising even more passion to come. Once his hands came up to begin pulling at the laces of her corset, Claire did her very best to enjoy this new found passion and simply just revel in his touch. Though it was still somewhat difficult for her to try to push the real reasons for this sudden intensity of his to the back of her mind no matter how enjoyable that at least this one side effect would be. The others though, they still had her more than a bit worried.