Novels2Search

Chapter 81

Hearing the sheer amount of sadness in Claire’s voice then did do well to push past all of those fears in Eliot’s head. Fears about what secrets she was really so afraid to share, as well as fears about ever letting himself get emotionally or even physically close to a woman at all. As he had already learned, she was no normal woman after all. And on that thought, he moved to gather her into his arms, wrapping her tiny frame in them and placing several soft kisses over those long locks that were equally as dark as his; just as Sean had done so many times when confronted with that same deep, deep sadness in her.

After holding her, and being held by her in return, for several long moments, Eliot whispered down to her, “so you believe that helping me face one of my own fears, that will make me happy, and in turn, make you happy as well?”

Claire sniffled ever so slightly as she looked up at him, their arms still around each other, “I’m hoping so.”

His breath shook a moment as he attempted to find more words, “I suppose I never will know, truly, until I at least let myself try... try not being afraid, at least once.”

“Are you feeling afraid right now, at this very moment?” she whispered up to him.

Eliot then allowed the tiniest smile as he looked down at himself, where he was still holding her close and where his body was actually beginning to slowly respond to her nearness the way it had always responded to his male lovers in the past. His grin then widened as he shook his head, “I just had the strangest... thought” he finished.

“What would that be?” she asked slowly.

“I thought, what would I be doing right now, at this moment, in this place, with you, if I didn’t keep stopping to say to myself, but she’s a woman?"

Claire bit back a small smile, “and what would you be doing?”

“I guess there’s only one way to find that out... if you still want to help me to.”

On hearing his answer, Claire then moved to her knees to be the one who initiated that third kiss between them in as many days. Even if Eliot could not remember their second kiss as anything more than a dream, Claire remembered it well. She covered his mouth with hers, remaining gentle, but finally allowing herself to kiss him without holding back the passion or desire she was also feeling for him at that moment. During each of their previous kisses, she had always held back, just a bit, afraid that too much too soon would just scare him away.

Though he didn’t pull away. He kissed her back for several long moments. The two of them eventually found themselves lying back against the pillows, Claire across his chest, continuing that kiss, which he continued to return.

When the kiss ended, there was another long moment of them lying there together as Eliot attempted to catch his breath before needing to interrupt that silence once again. “You’ll pardon me if I let you take the lead here” he smiled against her cheek, his own reddening as he said the words.

Claire simply smiled again as she pushed herself up to her knees next to him once more. Allowing another smile down at him, she slowly moved to begin unbuttoning his shirt, “you know to tell me if you want to stop at any point” she had to assure him as she reached the third button, his eyes following her fingers, his breath shallow.

His only response was a deepening blush accompanied by a smile and a nod to her, which was enough to make her continue with the task of undressing him then. After another moment, Claire had freed him of his shirt, dropping it to the floor next to the bed. She then looked up at his face once more to determine whether his fear had begun to outweigh his desire, though that did not seem to be the case yet.

Smiling at him again, she leaned forward to gently run her hands over the smattering of black hair dotting his chest, catching another smile from him as she did, nervous though it was. She then allowed her lips to trace the same path as her fingers and place a few soft kisses over his chest before allowing her hands to move down over his rib cage and flat stomach. His breath caught as she continued her attentions, though it seemed to be a reaction born out of more desire than unease still, so she continued with those gentle kisses and caresses.

When her fingers slowly began unbuttoning his trousers, his head pressed back into the pillow as he closed his eyes with a slight arching of his back as he waited for her to continue the task. Claire glanced up at him once more, but as he said no words of protest, still, she continued. When she began inching the material down from his undergarment, she couldn’t help smiling as she noted that, while his arousal was not complete yet, it had definitely begun, which was a good sign, despite how tightly he closed his eyes, and how quickly his breath now came.

One more look up at him before she allowed herself to finally reach for his last piece of clothing, and also begin inching it slowly from his body, exposing him fully to her dark green eyes, his arousal continuing to grow as the faint heat from the nearby fireplace reached his now bare skin.

Once he was laying completely naked before her, Claire moved to a spot next to him once more, placing her lips over his yet again. As his eyes had still remained tightly shut while she undressed him, he startled slightly at the feel of her still fully clothed body moving to lay next to him once more, and she began kissing him yet again. Despite his current vulnerability, her kisses were one thing that he definitely had grown fond of already, which caused him to kiss her back once more, and even reach up to wrap his arms around her shoulders as he did.

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What little composure Eliot still had left took another huge hit when, throughout that kiss, he felt her hand move to his waist, and lower. He gasped against her lips as she moved to encircle him with her fingers then, not once breaking off the kiss. At the feel of her fingers wrapping around him, he nearly immediately became fully aroused at the touch then, which curled Claire’s mouth into a smile as she continued moving her lips against his.

The next few moments were nothing but a blur to Eliot as Claire continued using her hand to bring him closer and closer to that final moment. At last, he was pushed to that point of one final shudder of pleasure at the feel of her continued touch. His seed then spilled over her hand at that moment of release, causing his entire body to go limp next to her while he struggled to catch his breath once more.

“I guess some part of you isn’t too opposed to a woman’s touch after all” Claire whispered against his ear as he simply let out a breathy chuckle, pushing damp curls from his face as he struggled to force his eyes open again.

After another moment to try to catch his breath, he finally forced words through still slightly trembling lips, “given, that is an activity that only requires my partner’s hands, which I’m pretty sure isn’t a gender-specific body part” he teased. Though the fact that he was smiling, and even joking after that encounter did give Claire the hope that he no longer felt nearly as afraid to be close with women, or at least, with her, at any rate.

“One step at a time, right?” she smiled over at Eliot before giving him another gentle kiss and curling against the even more prominent heat of his body then.

When his heartbeat, breathing, and temperature all eventually returned to normal, several minutes later, Eliot couldn’t help turning his head to look down at where she was still wrapped tightly around his naked body. He took a breath before speaking, “while it’s true that I don’t know all that much about pleasing a woman, in that way, I have trouble believing that that could have possibly been a satisfactory encounter for you.”

Claire allowed a small giggle, “do I appear unsatisfied?”

“Well, less satisfied, maybe” he smirked.

“I wouldn’t be so sure. Remember our alleged wedding night? You made me come without even touching me, didn’t you?”

“Sure I did” he chuckled again with a shake of his head. He then dropped his voice and looked back at her, “you’re saying you don’t want me to do anything... to you?”

“Do you want to?” she asked as she looked back up at where he blushed in response.

Once again, hiding his nervousness in humor, he managed to reply, “I might need a few more moments first” he teased as he glanced down at himself.

Claire allowed a small laugh, but soon adopted a more serious expression, “like I said, I know what I’m comfortable with. This is about figuring out what you’re comfortable with. This is your show Eliot. What you feel you’re ok with is what we can do, when you feel ok with it. Nothing more... nothing less.”

“Problem being, I don’t really know what I’m ok with, when it comes to being with a woman. I mean, I didn’t know I was ok with that, until we did it... Until you did it” he corrected with another shy smile.

“Ok with it, huh?” Claire couldn’t help teasing.

“A bit more than ok with it, obviously” he admitted, trying to bite back another smile.

“We don’t need to rush. I’ve got time” she smiled as she placed another little kiss upon his chest.

“What about your friend? The one you came to France to see in the first place?”

“They can wait” she assured, not caring to try to explain how she would even know about the change in that plan now. Explaining her ability to have a telepathic conversation is something she really didn’t want to have to do right then. Then again, she had already been scolding herself for prolonging her time with Eliot, and here she was agreeing to give him as much time with her as he needed. Apparently he wasn’t the only one in that bed who needed help understanding their own desires it seemed.

Claire didn’t have much more time to continue chastising herself before Eliot’s voice broke into her thoughts again, “so, not trying to rush or anything, I promise, but why am I the only one who’s naked here?” he teased.

“Do you want me to get naked?” she teased as he just shook his head at her refusal to give him an answer again. She then added, “I just figured I should ease you into that.”

Eliot couldn’t help a smirk, “is that a pun?”

She then laughed too as she thought about her own words, “I just meant, I didn’t want to overwhelm you with... all of that... too soon.”

“All of that, huh?” Eliot continued wearing the wry smile, “odd thing to hear from a girl who spent our first night in the same bed together, pretending I was...” he just shook his head and swallowed another smile.

“But I was at least dressed during that” she reminded him.

“In a see through dressing gown” he teased.

“It’s not that see-through” she defended.

“It’s pretty see-through” he chided, to which they both laughed once more.

After another moment, she spoke more quietly, “you can always put your clothes back on if you’re uncomfortable. Or, I could take mine off, if you really want me to. Remember, this is all about what you want, Eliot.”

“Again, the problem is, I don’t even know what I want. Except, I guess I do know that I want to find out. I mean, it is something everyone should actually know about themselves, especially when they’re approaching their twentieth birthday.”

“Your birthday?” she smiled up at him again.

“Already got the suit” he joked as he gestured downward, causing another small laugh from her. After another few minutes, he spoke more quietly again, “you really would take your clothes off just if I said I wanted you to? What about what you want? Shouldn’t that be at least some part of this... learning experience, too?” he decided on.

“Like I said, I already know what I want” she assured him again.

“Am I one of those things, honestly?” he made himself ask.

“What do you think?” she smiled as she kissed him once more.

Once the kiss ended, he smiled up at her, “finally, she almost gives me an answer for once.”

“I just... I keep holding back. I’m just afraid of saying or doing something that scares you away” she confessed, which did cause him to look downwards, easily recalling the somewhat scary thoughts he had occasionally been allowing himself to entertain about things a lot stranger to him about her than just her gender.