The following day and evening of Sean’s birthday did result in Sebastian staying downstairs in the main part of Raven’s Loft as he waited for Claire to put in an appearance for at least the last two or three hours before closing. However he was not the only one working that night. Their most popular singer and dancer was also just finishing her last song of the night at around eleven p.m. Her name was Davina and she had a beauty that did do wonders for making her the most admired performer that graced the stage on most nights. She was a 5’7” charmer who was only twenty, with long chocolate colored waves and blue gray eyes.
Each time she saw Sebastian she graced him with smiles or kind words, which couldn’t help stir an interest in the seventeen year old. Though he found himself often wondering if her friendliness and even subtle flirtation was simply a side effect of being a performer. Of course he also couldn’t help comparing her to Claire, considering that magnetism of hers that no mortal ever had much luck ignoring. However upon self-reflection, Sebastian had to admit that questions regarding the sincerity of Davina’s flirtations were not the only reason he had difficulty allowing himself to return her interest in any substantial way other than simply smiling and being polite.
He swallowed a lump in his throat as Davina finished her song, winked at him, and headed upstairs to change out of her rather revealing stage outfit. Though his distraction did not go unnoticed by the other acquaintance of Claire’s who was present that night.
Over the nearly two decades since his embrace, Nicolas was trying ever so diligently to get over the pain and horror of his human life. His first move to do so was of course the intimate relationship he had shared with Claire for those years after his arrival, once he adjusted to such an idea in the first place; of course that relationship had taken place when he was still human, and bound to her. Since then, he had tried to confront further demons by moving back to the scene of his embrace and the massacre that his repulsive sire had allowed to happen. His current attempt at normalizing his emotional well-being was by trying to assimilate to the presence of others aside from Claire and blood-bound servants.
“You like her?” Nicolas asked Sebastian as he noted the way the boy’s eyes followed Davina up the stairs, not to mention the desire that marred the otherwise rather apprehensive colors of his aura.
Sebastian looked a bit startled by Nicolas’ voice breaking into his consciousness. He then looked back at where Nicolas had been quietly sitting and watching all the mortals around him for the last two hours since he arrived shortly after sunset and had taken a quiet seat at a table in the corner of the room nearest to the bar Sebastian stood behind.
“You speak?” Sebastian offered an awkward smile at being caught watching the young woman, “and you’re foreign?” he added as an afterthought, as well as a subject change.
’Not often” Nicolas returned the already obvious answer, “and I’m originally from France” he added in his own quiet tone as he cast his eyes around the room where the majority of the men assembled were now returning to their seats from their previous spots watching Davina’s performance.
“You haven’t ordered anything yet either” Sebastian continued, hoping that the subject of any interest he may or may not have had in Davina would be dropped.
Nicolas squinted his eyes slightly as he studied Sebastian for a moment, almost as though seeing much more than what would have been apparent to everyone else in the room. “I am like Claire” was his simple response as he watched as Sebastian’s eyes widened a bit as he appeared to be swallowing another lump in his throat.
Taking a moment to regain his composure and remind himself of the conversation he had with Claire the previous night, he made himself respond as he moved closer to the end of the bar near Nicolas’ table and watched him warily, “so does that mean you’ve known her for… a long time?” Sebastian settled on.
Looking just as warily at the mortals who were seated at their own tables, Nicolas moved to a barstool where he could speak more quietly, “I came here in 1818” he admitted, though deliberately did not supply the age he was at the time of his arrival, considering he still looked to only be in his early to mid-twenties, and always would now.
“That’s two years before I was even born” Sebastian returned as he cast another cautious look at Nicolas and his apparent youth. He then gathered the courage to ask another question, “were you like Claire then?”
“No” Nicolas stated as he looked down, “that happened three years later” he added with his own discomfort coming through at the mention of the terrifying night of his embrace and what he had done in frenzy.
“So you were…” Sebastian paused to look around and leaned closer, speaking more quietly, “like me when you met her?”
Nicolas narrowed his eyes slightly at that question, but supplied some answer, “in a manner of speaking.” Nicolas then studied Sebastian another moment, “so who is it you really desire? The girl from the stage, or Claire?”
Sebastian looked more than a bit thrown by that question, “I never said anything about desiring either of them, did I?” he asked a bit defensively.
“Many men here seem to desire the girl who was on the stage; and everyone desires Claire” Nicolas had to add with the slightest attempt at a smile.
“I’m guessing everyone must include you” Sebastian had to respond as he continued to keep his eyes glued to Nicolas.
“Claire saved me. I owe her… more than I can even say” Nicolas admitted with a bit of sadness peeking through his tone.
“Saved you?” Sebastian had to ask, considering what he knew about Claire’s assistance to his own father as well as Sebastian himself.
“That is a very long, sad story” Nicolas stated in a way that made it clear that it was also a story that he was not ready to recount.
“Is she the one who made you… like her?” Sebastian asked in an even quieter tone.
“No” Nicolas offered as his own response; that subject obviously a sensitive one for him as well.
“Sean?”
“No” Nicolas repeated again.
Sebastian just shook his head, “so you like asking questions but not answering them very specifically, huh?” he couldn’t help calling Nicolas on his guarded demeanor.
A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
“You never answered my one question either; not really” Nicolas returned with another slight attempt at a smile.
Sebastian just scoffed with an awkward look back at where Davina was now dressed in a much more conservative ensemble as she came down the stairs. She then cast Sebastian another flirtatious smile before offering a few other smiles to the men who she moved past on her way out of the tavern that night. Once the door finally closed behind her, Sebastian looked back at where Nicolas was still expectantly awaiting his response.
Sebastian sighed heavily before replying at last, “it doesn’t matter if I like either of them or not; nothing will ever happen other than a few smiles here and there” Sebastian finished with a bit of his own sadness as he moved to wipe down a glass that a patron had returned to the bar before leaving the establishment for the night.
“Why will nothing happen? The girl who just left seems to like you; and Claire must too if you’re here working for her at all” Nicolas stated simply.
Sebastian looked down awkwardly once more before speaking, “I’m getting the impression that Claire offers to help everyone she can; it doesn’t mean anything else I’m sure, considering” he added the last word more quietly.
“Considering?” Nicolas repeated.
“Claire has a husband. I doubt she has any interest in doing anything more than smiling at me” Sebastian stated with a shrug.
Nicolas then did manage a smile of his own before speaking, “you should ask her about her marriage sometime.”
“What does that mean?” Sebastian asked as he looked back up quickly.
“All is not always what it seems. I think you should know that about people like Claire by now” Nicolas finished as he managed to hold the smile another moment.
Sebastian just shook his head as he cast Nicolas another questioning look, “whatever that means” a pause, “besides, I don’t plan on letting myself get too close to anyone ever, really” he returned in a sad near whisper.
“That’s exactly how I felt before I met Claire” Nicolas admitted softly, and then added, “but I’m sure your reasons are not the same as mine were.”
Ignoring Nicolas’ question, Sebastian focused in on the first part of the statement, “before you met Claire? You mean you and she…?” Sebastian began, not quite able to finish the question.
“When I first came here, she is the only one who could ever make me trust and feel safe again. Like I said, she saved me” Nicolas repeated with another sad smile.
“But are you saying that you and her were…” Sebastian began as he took another furtive look around and dropped his volume, “lovers?”
Nicolas just smiled again and looked down as though to blush, despite his inability to do so anymore, “as I said, things are not always as they seem” he then moved on, “and why do you say you will never let anyone close?” he asked again, obviously curious to find someone else who seemed to share his former fear of intimacy; not to mention his attraction to Claire.
Sebastian shook his head with a bit of frustration at Nicolas’ only partial answer, but gave in to supplying his own response, “I can’t let myself get close to any woman” he then sighed heavily, “bad things could happen.”
Nicolas furrowed his brow at that, “what sort of bad things?” he asked a little shakily, considering he was keenly aware of many bad things that other people did when they had been filled with desire.
Sebastian sighed again as he cast another look around at the five or so customers who were thankfully not close enough to hear much of the conversation. He then braced himself to answer, “I just can’t risk ever getting… ever making a baby” he finished quietly.
Nicolas narrowed his eyes at that, mentally pushing away thoughts of his own possibly lost children before replying, “I don’t know anything about the girl from the stage, Davina” a slight pause, “but I know Claire cannot ever have babies.”
Sebastian looked back up at him quickly once more. He then seemed to change his mind about the first statement that came to mind before deciding on another, “I suppose that makes sense” he admitted before swallowing hard again. He then added, “but whether Claire can have babies or not most likely doesn’t have any impact on me. It’s not like she’s my lover” he added with the slightest trace of jealousy causing him to look away.
After a pause, Nicolas decided on a response, “have you told her?”
Sebastian blinked, not quite sure what exactly Nicolas was asking, “told who what?” he asked warily.
“Have you told Claire that you’re afraid of making babies; I told her that once a long time ago before…back when I was afraid of being close too” Nicolas decided on.
“Ok…” Sebastian responded with continuing confusion. He then just shook his head before replying, “but again, I don’t really have any reason to tell Claire that since she can’t have children anyway and… I’m not doing anything with Claire that even would result in that anyhow” he stated warily, trying to push away thoughts of whether or not his own father had actually done anything like that with Claire either. Once Sebastian found out about Sean, he told himself that nothing could have happened physically between his father and Claire; but now that Nicolas had insinuated that he and Claire had been lovers, it was opening up that possibility in Sebastian’s mind now as well.
“But if you are afraid of making babies with Davina and you want to be with Claire, who can’t have babies…” Nicolas just left it at that.
Sebastian scoffed, “it sounds like you’re telling me to go ask Claire to… not make babies with me” Sebastian added awkwardly, which did manage to very nearly produce a chuckle from Nicolas, as rare as that ever had been in his life.
“I’m just saying that Claire helps everybody; why is it so strange that she’d help you too?” Nicolas offered.
“Most people wouldn’t consider that particular activity to fall into the category of ‘help’” Sebastian stated wryly.
“You’d be surprised” Nicolas offered another smile before continuing, “but if you are afraid to ever be with a woman who can…” once again Nicolas let his sentence end there, causing Sebastian to just shake his head and turn his attention to another empty glass; though he appeared to be in deep thought as he did.
----------------------------------------
When Claire did arrive at the tavern it was nearing midnight. Upon her stepping through the door and offering a sweet smile to Sebastian and Nicolas, the younger of the two quickly excused himself to his quarters upstairs, leaving the closing hours to her as usual.
“I guess a few extra hours wore him out” she chuckled to Nicolas as she moved around to take Sebastian’s now vacated spot behind the bar.
“I think I frightened him” Nicolas admitted apologetically as he looked down while still seated upon the stool at the end of the bar.
“Frightened him?” Claire asked worriedly, trying not to immediately let her mind jump back to their fears that Nicolas could someday become that twisted version of them like his sire had been.
“I confronted him about liking a certain female or two; I believe it made him uncomfortable… and sad” he added.
“Sad?” Claire asked curiously as she glanced across the room at the two remaining customers who were caught up in their card game.
“He’s afraid to let himself like a woman, in that way” Nicolas stated in the same soft tone.
“Afraid?” Claire asked as she cast her eyes up the stairs with concern.
“He’s afraid to let himself be with a woman” Nicolas moved his eyes around the room a moment before continuing, “but not for all the same reasons I had.”
Claire offered a sympathetic smile before responding, “well, I’m guessing that’s because of his family” she sighed sadly, “he doesn’t want to pass on those genes” she added more quietly.
“That’s what he said, more or less; that he was afraid of making babies” Nicolas replied.
“Gee, where have I heard that before?” Claire told him as she gently closed her hand over his atop the bar.
“Exactly why I told him that you helped me, so maybe you could help him too” Nicolas stated as he watched for her reaction.
Claire looked a little startled by that, but still wore a faint smile, “and what did he say to that idea?”
“He was mostly confused. Mainly because of that” he told her as he gestured to her wedding band. He then continued, “but I told him things are not always as they seem. I decided to leave you to explain anything further though” he added.
Claire sighed slightly as she cast another look up the stairs, “not that I’m that opposed to helping him, if that’s what he needs” she began, “but I can’t imagine that it’ll be very easy to try explaining my marriage to him, considering the added factor that I’ve also been with his father; despite how that happened” she added quietly.
“I remember how you cared about his father. And what Thomas twisted that into for you” Nicolas added with a regretful tone, and then moved on, “but I figured that could be the very reason why you would want to help him now.”