By the end of August no one had heard or seen any sign of Garnet and the servant Sean had sent after her, Livia. Considering that Sean had ordered Livia to return as soon as Garnet had led her to whoever had compelled the girl to sabotage all of Claire’s relationships; it was an obvious assumption that Livia and most likely Garnet would not be returning at all. Of course the idea that he had most likely cost two lives tore at Sean and his desperate need to retain the humanity that all Toreadors clung to. But the fact that he had sent them to their very probable deaths for the sake of finding out who had been trying to hurt Claire; that tore at her just as much.

Suffering from another dose of guilt that had been Claire’s constant companion for nearly three centuries, she left the tavern in the hands of the servants and Sebastian for a great deal of the month. Only when she did finally decide to try and distract herself by returning to her duties there, she soon found that Sebastian and Davina had also been leaving the place in the hands of the servants for most of the month as well.

On that night, Sebastian actually was present when Claire arrived, though he looked more than a bit distraught. Claire squared her shoulders as she stepped through the doors and moved to approach the sullen nineteen year-old.

“I guess both of us decided to finally make an appearance again tonight, huh?” Claire greeted him sympathetically as she moved toward the stool he had pulled around behind the bar and made into his seat for the night.

“I no longer have to be upstairs for all hours of the day” Sebastian greeted her softly, trying to keep his eyes down as she came to stand next to where he sat.

“That sounds fairly ominous” Claire replied as she looked around the tavern, taking note that Davina was still as absent as her servants had informed her she’d been for almost the entire month.

“You haven’t been here; so I’m sure you don’t know what has been going on for the last month” Sebastian sighed as he still didn’t manage to make any eye contact.

“I just heard that neither you nor Davina have been down here much” Claire stated gently.

“She’s been very ill all month” Sebastian stated before lowering his voice, “then she actually lost the baby that she thought she had lost seven months ago.”

Claire swallowed as she then looked down as well, “it wore off finally” she answered sadly.

“Sean said she would lose the baby afterwards” Sebastian replied in the same sad whisper as he turned his eyes to the few customers that were seated at tables around the room, “but we somehow convinced ourselves that the worst part was over; it wasn’t” he finished as he swallowed another lump in his throat.

“Is she ok now? Physically, anyway” Claire quickly added as her eyes moved to the stairs.

“I finally got the bleeding to stop last night” he answered in a choked whisper, “but it was too much for her to deal with; she packed her things and left as soon as she was able to get out of bed again.”

“She knows that she can’t ever tell anyone that the baby was actually conceived over seven months ago, right?” Claire had to voice that worry as quietly as she could, despite her own sorrow for the pain the girl had suffered through not only the delayed loss of the child, but also from the withdrawal from Sean’s blood which was most likely the illness Sebastian had referred to.

“Like anyone would believe that? Davina herself doesn’t even understand it. She most likely thought this was some newly conceived child; which it couldn’t have been, right?” Sebastian added in the same whisper.

“The original pregnancy was just put into a dormant state. She actually was pregnant all of this time; but since her body could no longer give the child what it needed, it wasn’t actually alive inside her anymore” Claire forced her way through that explanation. “Then when it wore off, her body… got rid of it” she finished in the same choked whisper that Sebastian had been speaking in.

After a long moment to let the reality of Claire’s words sink in, Sebastian finally found a response, “you sound like you know someone else who’s been through this” Sebastian observed as he at last moved those dark, dark eyes back to Claire’s face.

Claire couldn’t look back up at that statement for a long time as her mind immediately drifted back to the night following her embrace. After she had ended Viola’s life in frenzy and had been taken back home for the rest of the first night of her new life, she and Sean had remained silently mourning the events of the night in the main part of their home. Though she was in a nearly catatonic state for the remainder of the night before dawn, she remembered Sean going to check to see if the horses had returned home yet, before the two would have to retire to their bedroom before sunrise.

As Sean took care of that task, Claire made her feet carry her back into the bedroom where she had lost her life and been given a new and terrifying one that very night. There upon the bed, she saw the evidence of her own now deceased body expelling what was left of their child during her first moments of awakening. Through the frenzy she did not even feel or have any awareness of the miscarriage happening; but then it was made clear to her in the most painful way possible. She then rushed to rip the sheets from the bed and get them out of sight before Sean had to also bear witness to the scene before her eyes. She replaced the covers just as quickly and curled herself into the pillows, almost immediately returning to that near catatonia that she had displayed for so long after beginning her new existence and having to come to terms with the fact of the lives that were lost to pay for it.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

“Claire?” Sebastian’s voice broke into those long buried memories and snapped her back to the present.

Instinctively moving her hands to her eyes to hide any evidence of the bloody tears welling up before those present could note them, Claire sniffled slightly, “yes, but it was a long time ago” she forced an answer, hoarsely though it was.

“Seems like everything was a long time ago for you” Sebastian returned with an attempt at lightness that didn’t quite make its way to his tone.

Trying desperately to tamp down those horrible memories once more, Claire tried to find anything at all she could say to attempt to comfort the young man in any small way, “I can make you more of that powdery mixture and bring it to you tomorrow.”

Sebastian just scoffed slightly as he awkwardly glanced around the tavern once more, “I somehow doubt I’ll ever be ready to crawl into bed with another girl. At least not one that can have children” he added more quietly as he turned his eyes back to Claire once more to assess her response to his words.

Catching his implied meaning, but not allowing a response to it; Claire addressed the rest of his words instead, “nonetheless, you should have it on hand just in case you ever do change your mind; and if you do, make sure you have your own copy of the instructions and ingredients” she warned him pointedly.

“Like I said, I’ll probably never even need it” Sebastian argued, a little frustrated by her refusal to address at least part of his statement.

“All of my people will feel better if you do have it though” she told him with finality, “now go get some rest” she added with an attempt at a smile as she leaned over to gently kiss his cheek before taking over his post for the rest of the time before closing.

----------------------------------------

Obviously plagued by many of his own troubling thoughts, Sebastian was still staring at the ceiling above his bed when he heard Claire come upstairs to count the day’s profits and put them in the safe. He sighed heavily as he pushed himself up from the bed and moved to the door. A moment later, he was in the doorway to Claire’s office as she looked up at him upon his approach.

“Can’t sleep again?” she asked him softly.

“I’m guessing Garnet is still missing” Sebastian began.

Claire looked down with a bit of guilt at the fact that Sean had most likely sent her to her death just to get the answers as to why she had behaved so strangely in her less than two years in their lives. “We haven’t heard anything about her or the servant who disappeared the same night.”

“So, does that mean you’re back with Nicolas now?” Sebastian asked as he continued to watch her as he leaned on the doorframe clad in only the trousers he had worn to bed that night, and looking even more like his father with each passing night.

“Pardon?” Claire asked with a furrowed brow.

“When Nicolas first thought I liked Davina, he implied that you and he were lovers; when I mentioned it to you before, you never denied it” he stated simply, “so are you back with him now?”

Claire had to take a moment before speaking again, “Nicolas is actually in England, getting to know his sire’s sire.”

Sebastian furrowed his brow at that, “when did that happen?”

“The night after Garnet disappeared” she answered with another sad sigh.

“And your other British friends, they’re all back there too now?” Sebastian asked as he hadn’t seen any of Garnet’s chosen distractions for ages.

“Yes, they’re all back in England now” Claire assured as she looked down again before moving to place the night’s earnings in the safe behind her desk.

“So, it looks like we both lost the last of the people we were close to in just the last month” he stated pointedly.

Claire faltered a moment before turning back to face him as his words sunk in, “Sean’s still here” she stated quietly.

“But you and Sean are obviously not… the way most married couples are” Sebastian returned, hoping to pry some sort of explanation for how she could have been close to so many others without Sean seeming to hold any animosity towards her at all.

“No, we like each other more than most married couples do” Claire couldn’t help her small smirk.

A little caught by that reply, Sebastian had to take another moment before finding his own, “but he doesn’t seem to be angry at you for having these other… relationships” he settled on.

“You’ve been here two years and no one has ever explained me and Sean to you?” Claire replied with a small smile.

Sebastian narrowed his eyes at that before answering, “Nicolas just said that things are not always what they seem. But I figured that was just some vampire cryptic talk.”

Claire couldn’t help a small chuckle at that description, “Sean and I have been together since 1586. That’s a long time to never allow yourself to get close to anyone else. He and I have both had other lovers; but it doesn’t change the fact that we still love each other more than anyone else we’ve ever met, or most likely ever will meet” Claire returned with another faint smile, as she willfully pushed Minna’s mention of that second love from her mind.

Sebastian paused another moment as he watched her before deciding what he wanted his next statement to be. With a deep breath, he finally decided on “so were you and my father lovers too?”

Claire looked down quickly at that question, somehow caught off guard by it. Then there was how hard it even was for her to offer an honest answer. It was true that she had felt his father inside her on that one strange and tragic night; but it was not anything even remotely similar to any other encounter she had had throughout her nearly three centuries. Though explaining it at all was still something that she never could manage to do in any accurate or easy way.

“I’m assuming that’s a yes?” Sebastian interrupted her silence to save her from having to find the words just yet.

She swallowed again as she tried in vain to put that night into words, “it only happened once, and…” she attempted to begin, still struggling with recounting that story, “and it didn’t happen in any way that either of us expected or planned” she decided on.

“When?” Sebastian made himself ask, though his voice was strained.

Claire had to take another moment before allowing herself to answer as she was so very opposed to deception; especially after it had taken her so long to regain Sebastian’s friendship at all. “It was when you and your sister were only babies. January of 1821” she forced herself to give him that date as her eyes immediately moved to his face.

“That was when my father killed my mother” he breathed the words rather than spoke them.

“Yes, it was” she whispered as she looked down guiltily again.

“So that was why she wanted to kill you; not just because of what you were, but because of what you did” Sebastian supplied the rest of those answers himself before he left the room once again.