Claire just looked back at Sean in disbelief as he averted his eyes with more than a bit of regret. After another long moment, she had to say something, “I just don’t know how you could ever brainwash a man into killing his own children!”

Sean let out another sad and guilty sigh as he fully expected this reaction, but still wished he hadn’t had to cause it. He then finally tried to find some justification that she would accept other than all the ones that she already knew of, “obviously, I hope it never has to come to that. I hope that either he has no children at all, or that they never turn into one of those things” he sighed again, “but if it comes down to deciding between the lives of his family and mine…” he just shook his head, figuring he didn’t need to say any more then.

Claire just cast him another look of disbelief before she pushed herself up from her seat and headed through the side door to the privy with a slam of the door behind her. She took several long moments trying to calm her upset as she stared at herself hard in the mirror, running this new reality through her mind. She of course knew that werewolves were the single biggest threat to every single member of her household and family, aside from that deadly sun; but she still had trouble stomaching the facts of what Kristofer may someday end up having to do, simply because her own husband had forced it upon him.

She sighed heavily again as she bit back her emotions and glared at herself in the mirror then. Once again, she couldn’t help feeling as though she had ruined even more lives, just by allowing herself to care for another mortal. She knew Sean would tell her not to blame herself for what he had done, but it was still a fact that if she had never somehow made Kristofer care about her; then so much hell could have been avoided. And now, because of letting herself care about him, even more hell could be in store for him at some point in the future; and it was a hell no one would ever be able to mentally recover from. Therefore his entire life and mind could be shattered just because she had let herself care about him. And on that thought, a bloody tear slipped down her cheek.

That was when Nicolas entered through the door that led to his own quarters. He halted upon seeing her standing there at the mirror, “sorry” he apologized with only a bit of relief that he hadn’t caught her bathing again, as he still was quite torn about the desires he was faced with each time he looked at Claire. That was when he noted the red streak on her cheek in the candle light, “you’re crying?” he asked her worriedly.

“I’ll be fine” Claire whispered as she sniffled and wiped away the tear.

“Why are you crying?” he asked her in the same soft tone, “did someone hurt you?” he asked with more worry as he cast a glance toward the door that led to her bedroom.

“Not physically” she whispered back as she cast her eyes downward again.

“Can I help any?” Nicolas asked her, his concern for her touching, despite the fact that she knew it was all because of that bond she had to force on him.

She sighed as she looked back at him sadly, “some things are hard to fix” she told him with regret.

“You fixed me” he told her with an attempt at a smile, as foreign as that expression had ever been to him in all of his nearly twenty-four years of life.

Claire couldn’t help her own smile then, “I just tried to show you that you weren’t beyond repair” she told him softly.

“I… am not so afraid anymore” he stated, trying to find the words, “and that’s because of you, Claire” he told her in the same soft whisper.

“I just hope that someday you can actually let yourself be close to someone; the way closeness is meant to be” she told him, trying to hold her smile to reassure him, despite her own mood that night.

Nicolas looked down a moment, as though trying to find the strength to speak again, “I could be close to you” he told her, his voice nearly inaudible.

Claire looked back up at him quickly as she paused a moment to try and determine if he actually meant what it sounded like he meant. “When I say close, I mean physically” she attempted to clarify.

“When I see you I want to be close… physically” he repeated her word as though it were more difficult than the rest of the sentence, “I want it to finally feel good to touch, and be touched. The way you showed me it could” he attempted to explain, seeming to struggle even more with the language then.

Claire swallowed another lump in her throat as she looked back at this man begging her to help him with that final step toward recovering what was left of his soul after the torture he had spent years going through. Despite her own upset about the whole of the night, as well as her worry about ever getting close to anyone at all anymore; she desperately wanted to help him. And she was very possibly the only person he had found a way to trust ever again after his former life.

Not able to form any more words of her own, Claire looked down once more, and then managed another smile back up at him as she took a step closer to offer him her hand. Nicolas took a deep breath and then managed another semblance of a smile as he allowed his hand to reach out to cover hers. Claire smiled again at the contact and squeezed his hand gently before moving to lead him back to his own room before closing and locking the door behind them.

Once inside the room, still lightly holding onto his slightly trembling hand, Claire led him to a spot next to the bed. Once they stopped there, she felt Nicolas’ body tensing, yet he made no move to pull away or reclaim the hand she still held in hers. With another smile up at him, Claire moved closer and pushed herself up onto her toes next to the six inches of height he had on her. There, she pressed the gentlest of kisses over his lips. Again, Nicolas tensed at the contact, but did not pull back.

After another moment of mentally replaying what he had seen her and Sean do to one another, Nicolas managed to begin slightly moving his lips against hers as well. He even allowed himself to press a bit closer to her so that he could feel her breasts pressing against his chest. Of course, that touch caused more tension in him, but a more pleasurable feeling too, as he felt himself already beginning to get aroused by even that slight contact between their two still fully clothed bodies.

When she finally broke off the kiss, Claire remained standing close to him as she looked up into those brown eyes which somehow managed to display both fear and arousal. She smiled up at him once more and whispered, “do you want me to undress yet, or do you need more time?”

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Nicolas’ breath caught again at the offer as he thought on it a moment, “I want to see you again” he returned hoarsely.

Claire allowed another smile as she only stepped back an inch or so. She then attempted further reassurance, “if at any moment you want me to stop anything I’m doing; just tell me, and I will, ok?” His only response to her words was a slight nod of understanding as his eyes traveled over her, waiting for her to expose that beautiful pale skin to his eyes once again.

Claire then nodded back as she moved to begin unlacing the front of her dress, moving slowly as to not make him feel any more fear or worry than she was sure he was already struggling with a good deal of. His breath was shaky as he watched her fingers on those laces, but he made no protest, nor did he look away. Upon finishing with the laces, she smiled up at him again before pulling the front of the dress away from her breasts and even more slowly sliding it down her arms as his eyes moved over her, his breaths growing shorter and coming quicker. Yet, he still made no protests as Claire finally moved to begin sliding the dress down from her waist as well.

When she was now standing fully exposed before him, she carefully stepped out of the heap that her dress had fallen to around her feet. She then looked up at him, studying his aura to determine if he was about to bolt at any moment. Though there was fear in his aura, the color of desire was very nearly blotting all the other colors out. She smiled up at him again before speaking, “do you want to undress now, or do you want to just look at me, or kiss me, or touch me first?”

“Touch you?” he choked a bit at that offer.

“Yes. You can touch me however you want; we can go as slowly as you want. Or I could touch you. You just have to let me know what you think you’re comfortable with, and when you are” she offered in the same near whisper.

“You want me to touch you like your husband touched you?” he asked her hoarsely.

“If that’s what you want. This is all about what you want and need, Nicolas. I’m just here to help you figure that out” she told him with the same soft smile.

“You want me to undress?” he asked in that same hoarse tone that barely made it past his throat.

“Of course, but not until you’re ready to” she reassured.

Nicolas let out another deep breath as he let his eyes travel over all of that naked flesh being exposed to him once more, and now so close he could actually reach out and touch that smooth pale skin; and she had even given him permission to do such a thing. And on that thought, he felt himself fully harden beneath his clothing. He took another moment to mentally scold himself for his instinctive reaction to feel ashamed of his own arousal, reminding himself that she had proven to him that arousal did not have to lead to any pain at all.

After another shaky breath he slowly forced his hands up to begin undoing the buttons of his own shirt, his eyes moving over her body the entire time. Claire smiled again as she watched him begin undressing, hoping that perhaps she really was somehow able to repair a substantial part of the damage that had been done to him. Her eyes did falter a moment though as he opened his shirt to expose the myriad of now long faded scars that covered his chest and stomach, most of which were centered around his nipples. She forced back her own whimper at the thought of what had been done to his body to cause such.

Nicolas swallowed another lump in his throat as he made himself finish removing the shirt, regardless of the way her pretty eyes saddened at the now physical evidence of what had been done to him. He took another deep breath as he saw her manage to smile up at him again, with as much continued reassurance as she could. He then moved trembling fingers down to the button of his pants and tried as hard as he could to steady his hands as he unfastened those as well.

Upon exposing his erection to her at last, but before fully removing his last bit of clothing, another fear rushed to his mind as he looked up at her quickly. Claire moved her eyes away from where his body so obviously wanted her, even if his mind was still torn; and she easily noted the extra dose of fear that had just sprung to his eyes.

“What is it?” Claire asked gently.

“What if…?” he swallowed hard, not quite able to finish vocalizing that new fear yet.

“What if what?”

“What if I put baby in you, and you lose it; like Madeleine lost all hers?”

At that statement, Claire had to immediately force away thoughts of the baby she had lost all those years ago, however that tragedy had indeed come to pass. And she had to will another look of reassurance to her face, “I can’t get pregnant, Nicolas” she promised him.

“You can’t have babies?” he repeated as he looked back at her with a fraction of his newest fear dissipating ever so slightly.

“No, I can’t” she assured as she managed, with some difficulty, to smile back at him once more.

“Because of same reason you cry blood and can’t go in sun?” he asked warily.

He had been there long enough to understand that she and Sean were not quite like him, but he still had a bit of difficulty understanding all the other things that meant. Perhaps because of the language barrier or perhaps it was just that Claire had never managed to fully explain all the facts of their existence to him; as he already had enough reasons to have his dreams filled with terror on a nightly basis. It was true that his bond to her would mean he’d never hurt her, but nonetheless, she didn’t want to give him any reason to ever fear her after how hard she had worked to make him trust her at all.

“I lost my ability to have children, or even get pregnant at all, a long time ago. You never have to worry about me losing any more babies” she assured as her voice broke a bit, for more than just grief over Madeleine’s and possibly even Nicolas’ own lost children.

That seemed to at least alleviate one more fear as he let his eyes move over her once more and his arousal seemed to easily return then. He took another breath as he shakily finished removing his pants and even managed to take a step closer to her, his hardness nearly close enough to brush against that pale skin of hers. That was when he managed to lean down and ever so cautiously place another kiss over her mouth despite the nervousness at the fact that both of them were now equally nude and he was so obviously aroused.

Once that kiss ended, Claire smiled up at him again, forcing her eyes to not linger on the other scars that marred the rest of his flesh that had now been exposed to her. With one more smile, she took his hand again and spoke, “do you want to move to the bed?”

Once again, he appeared to have trouble forming an answer for a long time. Though he did finally manage another slight nod as he let her lead him with her onto the mattress. There she lay back submissively before him as he shakily moved to his side a few inches from where she lay so vulnerable next to him.

“Is this when I touch you, the way Sean touched you?” he asked for one more reassurance.

Claire couldn’t help a small chuckle, “I definitely want you to touch me like that. But only if you’re comfortable with it.”

That was when Nicolas managed his own smile as he looked down at where his body so obviously was aching for hers, “I would not say ‘comfortable,’ but I want to touch you too. Just need to know if you want my touch as much.”

That was when Claire smiled over at him again, “can I show you something?” she asked him softly.

“I think you are showing me much already” he smiled again as his eyes traveled down her body.

She allowed another little chuckle as she slowly reached for his hand, looking to him for permission to take it in hers again. He nodded his agreement again as Claire took his hand in both of hers and slowly moved it to the place between her legs. He tensed again, but did not pull away, so she guided his hand closer to where she had called upon that wetness to make herself ready to allow him inside her.

“The way you get hard when you get aroused, is the way I get wet. Do you feel how much I want you now?” she whispered as she pressed his fingers closer to that wetness she spoke of.

His breath caught again as he let himself move his fingers slowly against her, where she indeed was completely aroused. “This means you want to feel me inside you?”

“Very much” she whispered back as she guided his fingertips just barely inside her, “but only if you’re ready to let yourself be inside me” she assured once more.

Nicolas’ breath caught in his throat once again as he moved his fingers further inside her, as gently as he could, feeling even more wetness greeting him there. Another shallow breath as he looked up into her face, “I think I want that very much.”