Some omakes I've released on the forums this week before I leave for the next few weeks.
********
If Mikael was ever summoned to Chaldea
There was something... off about Chaldea's newest servant, Ritsuka thought as she and Mash watched him walk down the hall while whistling innocently.
How suspicious.
"Senpai! Mikael replaced all of Holmes' Void Dust with powdered sugar!"
Learning about her servants had saved her life and human history more times than she could count. Most Servants were either known to her thanks to her... extensive lessons in mythology, or they had met in a Lostbelt or Singularity. Those utterly unfamiliar to Rituska required a more in-depth study and evaluation before the Last Master felt confident in using a new Servant to the greatest effect.
Still, grasping who this one was was proving more difficult than usual.
If there was one thing she had learned after all these years, all servants were bullshit. But 'Mikael' was odd in a wholly different way. Odd and worrying.
"Senpai! Mikael and Anastacia are fighting another prank war!"
Mikael did plenty of absurd things, as all servants did, whether it was his cooking (Benni-enma had cried), his friends (Who on earth holds a singing contest with Nero and the Lizs then decides to watch anime with Blackbeard), to his hobbies (Ritsuka never thought being annoyingly petty was a hobby until now. His interactions with Kama were particularly hilarious).
And that was not even considering his romantic relationships.
"Senpai! Mikael started a wrestling program with Quetzalcoatl and Astraea! And he's having Ishtar, Caren and the Queen of Sheba hold a betting pool!"
Ritsuka had no idea how he had done it but had somehow ended up in a romantic relationship with an absurd number of women. She could sort of understand Medea and Medea Lily, as well as all Scathach and Skadi. They came from more sexual cultures than hers, so polygamy might not seem too weird to them.
What really blew Ritsuka's (and everyone else's) mind was that he had managed to seduce Artoria.
Every Artoria.
There were a lot of Artorias.
Some of which hated each other with an absolute passion.
Archer (Emiya, since that wasn't a clear description anymore) thought it was some new True Magic. Or he bribed them with food.
The knights of the Round started off as warry, then became best friends with him. How Ritsuka didn't know, all she knew was that they practically worshiped the ground he walked on.
"Senpai! Mikael is drinking with Lancelot, D'Eon, and Napoleon! They're speaking French!"
If Mikael was just a playboy, even if a good one, then she and her Mashmallow wouldn't be spying on him. After all, Furgus existed. (Ritsuka was sure Caladbolg was powered by pure 'horny.')
But he wasn't.
He had, on multiple occasions, turned down sexual relations with other servants. (While seeing him literally throw Kiara out of his room with a cry of 'begone thot!' had been funny, Ritsuka still considered him chasing Medb through the halls with a whip of string cheese to be better.) Even if a woman he liked, such as Gorgon, Medusa, Nero, or Ibuki, expressed interest, he would kindly but firmly turn them down.
What does 'I won't cheat on my wives' mean when you sleep with twenty women? Even if fourteen are versions of the same woman!
If anything, he was disgustingly romantic. When he wasn't taking women on 'dates' in the simulator, he was always cuddling with one or more of them or helping with their hobbies.
"Senpai! Mikael challenged Moriarty and Holmes to deduce which was better, AC or DC, while Edison and Tesla were also in the cafeteria. And then he started chanting Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap in the background!"
And then there were his stats. They were all over the place! High magic and NP stats with poor physical (except Endurance) usually meant a caster or long-range fighter. But Mikael fought with weapons, not spells, for the most part.
And don't even get her started on his skills!
'Eye of the Mind (True)' wasn't unusual at all, though A++ was the highest she had seen. 'Existence Outside the Domain EX' was rare, but it wasn't unknown either. 'Godslayer EX' was rarer, but Muramasa had it as well.
Ritsuka could understand 'Talented B.' It was like Imperial Privilege, but instead of giving instant access to other skills, it multiplied the learning rate. Less instantly helpful, but better the longer Mikael was summoned and the more teachers he had.
"Senpai! Mikael is teaching the child servants!"
That was where the familiar, if odd, ended, and the madness began.
'Inexhaustible' was broken, plain and simple. It not only raised his MP and Endurance to EX levels, but it also ensured that he would never die unless he was killed instantly. That skill alone would put anyone in the upper class of servants. It also meant he generated all the power he needed, not drawing anything from Chaldea or her, which was great.
"Senpai! Mikael's cat and Fou are plotting something again! The Konyanskyas, Kiaras, Kamas, Tiamat, and Draco are all running away! Merlin is in hiding!"
What wasn't great was 'World Ender C+.'
Also not heartening was 'Trail of Ashen Tears.' It didn't have a rank, so it was a personal skill, and Ritsuka was a bit too worried to ask what it meant.
"Senpai, Mikael is bullying Jason... I don't think we need to do anything."
But what truly had Ritsuka on guard was his Noble Phantasms.
Many servants had multiple NPs. Hell, Artoria had a dozen or so in her various iterations, so him having two was nothing out of the ordinary.
'Dragon of Freedom and Life' was like a ramped-up version of Sieg's Akafiloga All-Grid. Powerful and destructive like all Anti-World Noble Phantasms, it would also never be used. So long as Mikael never deployed it, he would keep returning even if his body was destroyed, making him immortal.
"Senpai! Mikael is making puns with Jaguarmura-sensei! We're DOOMED!"
Ritsuka and Mash followed Mikael, determined to learn more about him, because of his second and final Noble Phantasm.
Like his other Noble Phantasm, 'Break Out!' was self-targeting. But unlike Dragon of Freedom and Life, it could be used on anything he touched.
If there was ever an anti-Master Noble Phantasm, this was it. It not only made him immune to all control effects like charm, sleep, bindings, or boundary fields, but it also meant Command Seals did not work on him or anyone he was touching.
Nothing could control him.
Nothing could stop him.
Mikael might not be the strongest servant, but he was definitely the most troublesome. If he ever turned against Human Order, they were doomed.
"Senpai," Mash tugged on Ritsuka's sleeve with a luminous blush on her face. "How do I look?"
Her adorable little Mashmallow was wearing what could only be considered a Little Black Dress. Its cut was particularly daring, and the young Demi-servant was squirming in embarrassment.
Ritsuka staggered back from the attack of the Gap Moe.
Critical Hit!
Super Effective!
Ritsuka Fujimaru is unable to battle.
"Good Job!" Ritsuka answered with a thumbs up, wiping the drool from her lips and the blood dripping from her nose. "Where did you get that?"
"Ms. Medea made it for me," Mash answered with a radiant smile as her embarrassment faded. "Mikael asked her to make it for me as an apology for all the trouble he caused us both. Though I don't know where your gift is."
"I know where it is," Ritsuka answered as her eyes devoured her cute little Kohai.
Mikael might be suspicious and a little troublesome, but he was still her servant, right?
No need to alienate a new and powerful Foreigner when he could be a great ally, right?
If he could convince two Medeas, four Scathachs and fourteen Artorias to all wear Bunny Outfits at once, surely he could convince Mash to wear it once, right?
********
Had some free time today, so banged this out in a few hours. For those curious, here is how I would see Mikael's stats:
STR: C END: EX
AGL: D MP: EX
LUK: E NP: EX
Heigh/Weight: 210cm, 106kg
Origin: Fiction
Region: The Void Between The Stars
Alignment: Chaotic-Balanced
Gender: Male
There is no greater ally or foe - Artoria Pendragon (Lancer)
Class Skills:
Existence Outside the Domain EX: A skill denoting Foreigners as those who follow their own logic rather than conforming to the rule of the World.
Personal Skills:
Eye of the Mind (True) A++: A skill that denotes one's ability to read and direct the flow of combat. 'True' Eye of the Mind comes from overwhelming experience rather than inherent ability. It is gained by humans who fight rather than exceptional bloodlines or blessings. Due to his longer-than-normal lifespan, and sheer diversity of fighting experience, it is ranked A++. So long as even a .1% chance of victory exists, this ability significantly improves the chances of winning.
Godslayer EX: Anyone who slays a god gains this skill as it is one of the greatest feats one can accomplish. At EX rank, it marks the holder as the natural predator of the divine. Gods cease to be inconceivable beings in their presence and simply become 'food.' Those with the 'Divinity Trait' will strongly react to the holder in correlation to the rank of Divinity. (Normally, only adverse reactions are possible to this trait, but positive responses are possible in this case thanks to marrying and loving multiple women with the 'divine' attribute.)
Talented B: The ability to learn at a rate that is impossible for most beings. It is a learning rate multiplier, not direct ability gain like Imperial Privilege. What is impossible to learn, such as racial traits or blessings, is still impossible, so it is ranked B due to the scale and breadth of the Talent. A rank is a domain of learning unique abilities. EX can learn anything at all in seconds to minutes.
Inexhaustible EX: The skill holder's magic level will never fall below this ability's rank. It usually only has a minor effect on Endurance, raising it by one rank, but thanks to the use of healing miracles, Endurance is raised to EX rank as well.
World Ender C+: A skill that denotes the holder as someone whose actions lead to the end of a 'World Order.' Enhances any actions taken in rebellion against 'The World.' This skill is only C+ because he instated new world orders after destroying the old and actively sought the preservation of a few lifeforms rather than complete eradication. B rank is the complete destruction of a 'World.' A Rank is the eradication of multiple 'Worlds.'
Trail of Ashen Tears: A unique skill of Mikael's, one that can be considered a minor Noble Phantasm. It is the manifestation of his unceasing journey toward freedom. Passing through multiple worlds, life and death, heartbreak and loss, and even overcoming his own greatest fears. Nothing can stop his march forward.
Functions like an upgraded Determination of Steel.
Chains of Love (Hidden): Allows Mikael to 'bind' peoples and creatures to him, allowing them to gain various benefits, including immortality, while he lives. Anyone bound can order him to do anything, and he cannot stop them without someone else countermanding the order or releasing his first Noble Phantasm. Using this ability on his Master would ensure victory in any Holy Grail War.
Mikael will only do so if he fully loves and trusts such a special Master.
Noble Phantasms:
{Dragon of Freedom and Life}
Rank: EX
NP Type: Anti-Personnel (Self)/Anti-World
Range: 0
Maximum Targets: 1
A transformation Noble Phantasm. Upon deployment, Mikael assumes his true body of a Dragon so large that it's every movement could doom a planet. Attacks that are Anti-Fortress and below will have no effect due to the sheer size of his body. So long as Mikael is not killed after deploying this Noble Phantasm, he will simply form a new body and return. It is his greatest strength and weakness, so he will rarely, if ever, use it. (In FGO, it would not be used.)
{Break Out!}
Rank: EX
NP Type: Anti-Personnel (Self)
Range: 0
Maximum Targets: 1-100
No chains can bind him. No barrier can stop him. He can do anything he wants, no matter how others can try and control and restrict him. He is a being with no limits. A passive Noble Phantasm that is always active for Mikael, but actively deploying it will allow it to be extended to anyone touching him.
If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.
{Lies of a Human Mask} (Hidden)
Rank: A
NP Type: Anti-Personnel (Self)
Range: 0
Maximum Targets: Infinite
A disguise to hide the monster beneath a mask of human skin. A passive Noble Phantasm that is always activated. It allows Mikael to hide stats, skills and Noble Phantasms from even his Master or those with Clairvoyance. It can even deceive The World into thinking he is a regular servant. It is also a sublimation of all the Defences the Catalogue provided.
Releasing the True Name of this Noble Phantasm will dispense with all deception on Mikael's true nature, raising his physical parameters by two ranks. All who see it risk gaining Insight into the Truth of the World. Those unable to handle it shall descend into a maddened Frenzy.
It is only ranked A because other servants with Existence Outside the Domain ranked C or higher know instinctively what sort of being he is.
{Dreams of Distant Family} (Hidden)
Rank: E-A++
NP Type: Unknown
Range: 5 Meters
Maximum Targets: Variable
Somewhere out there, beyond the realms of time, space, and fate, there is an Island.
A hellscape for all invaders.
A blighted land containing dangers that can destroy a World three times over if released.
On that Island is a home. A Family who laughs, loves, and cries together. They, forever connected through this Noble Phantasm, can come to each other no matter the distance between them.
Summoning Mikael is equivalent to summoning his Family and his Island.
On that Island is a Dragon's Happy Ending.
And Mikael shall never give it up.
There is the character sheet, as I imagine it. I could have added more if I wanted to be absurd, but this is a good fit. For context, for those unfamiliar with Fate, EX rank does not necessarily mean the strongest. It just means that the level cannot be measured. While this is usually an indicator of strength, it can also mean something is so unique that there is nothing to compare it to.
In a regular Grail War, Mikael would be a broken character, and in Chaldea, he would still be among the top tier, only rivalled by the likes of Void Shiki, Gilgamesh with Ea, or some of the Lostbelt Kings or Beasts. In FGO, he would be a mid-tier 5-star Arts-based Foreigner, Support/Attacker hybrid, specializing in Defence/invincibility pierce with debuff purge and team-buff NP. Useful for boss fights, especially against berserkers, but there are better options if you have them.
********
IF MIKAEL TRAVELS TO BLEACH TOO EARLY.
"Huh," I murmured, scratching my head as I tried to decide what to do in this situation.
Travelling the multiverse was fun, but it wasn't an exact science. When I had promised my wives a visit to versions of their home worlds, I had no idea what version that would be.
As far as I could tell, this was the Bleach world, so I had gotten that right, but in the past.
Way in the past.
So far in the past, humanity had just developed writing.
So I had a few options here.
I could travel to another world, closer in time to 'canon' Bleach.
Or I could take a nap.
It was only seven thousand years or so. Adjusting the time on my Island for my Family was as simple as pulling them into another Dream. Less than a second would pass for them.
On the other hand, I could get a short nap at the same time as answering a bunch of questions I had about history. And get some practice with Haki.
"Bedtime," I said to myself. I folded myself into another fake moon, in a pocket dimension so I wouldn't melt the brains of the nascent civilizations, and set about 'resting.'
*
Ichigo Kurosaki liked to think he was brighter than most would expect him to be.
Sure, he might look, and sometimes act, like a thug, but that was only because people kept pissing him off by trying to bully him or his friends.
Sure, he might have invaded both realms of the dead, but that was only because they kept kidnapping those same friends.
So, in that most recent invasion, Ichigo Kurosaki had noticed a few oddities about Hueco Mundo.
Oddieties like how the Forest of Menos' trees looked less like trees and more like spikes.
Oddities like how the upper layer of the world was curved despite its supposedly 'flat' nature.
Oddities like how the moon in the sky was always in the same position, no matter how far they travelled.
Oddities like how, as they were preparing to leave for the human realm to stop Aizen after rescuing Orihime, a voice called out a familiar name.
A voice so loud that it literally shook the world.
"Yoruichi?"
Dunes rose and fell in a torrent as the sands of Hueco Mundo shook in a great tumult.
The portal was left behind as the Shinigami reacted with alarm, grabbing hold of their unconscious comrades, or the humans who couldn't fly, and rising into the air.
As a whole, the group watched the area warily, ready for another of Aizen's traps or a new hollow.
So, when a white mountain rose over the horizon, all their eyes snapped to it immediately.
Then it kept rising.
And rising.
Soon, Ichigo realized it was not a mountain but a head on a long sinuous neck.
A head that took up the entire horizon.
A head the same shade of white as a hollow's mask.
"Big," Chad grunted the greatest understatement in the history of mankind.
"Hmm?" The Hollow Dragon's questioning hum vibrated their bodies despite being hundreds of miles away. "What are you all doing here so soon?"
"Oh dear," Unohana murmured, eyes not leaving the dragon the head the size of a country.
Kenpachi started laughing madly.
"What an interesting specimen," Mayuri cackled with glee before dissolving into murmurs that Ichigo tuned out. For his own sake.
"Why did you say that name?" Byakuya called out loudly. Though he looked the picture of poise and refinement he always did, Ichigo recognized the tenseness in his posture.
He was afraid, the young man realized.
Good, he wasn't the only one.
A Gillian was smaller than one of this thing's scales.
"Oh, I just thought I felt her here for a second, but it's just that portal," the titanic creature rumbled. Its voice was calm, as if talking about the weather. His every breath stirred up a sandstorm on the endless desert. "Hey, what year is it?"
"2002." Orihime chimed in helpfully.
Kenpachi disappeared as he charged the gargantuan Dragon Hollow, laughing the entire way.
"That's what I thought," the creature sighed. "Manga, not anime, right. Ah, man, I overslept. They're never going to let me live this down."
Kenpachi was still charging.
The dragon was really far away.
"Nothing I can do about that now," it sighed again. "Hold still. I want to get this gunk off."
The world shook.
The invasion force tried to stay alive for the next minute as Hueco Mundo came apart around them.
Sand and stone disappeared as Ichigo watched great white wings burst from the ground and shake. He saw the crumbling remains of Las Noches fall and realized the trip from the Menos Forest to the massive building, which had taken so long, had only been the distance of half of one wing.
And this thing had six.
Below was a genuinely titanic white body coiled around a glittering jewel. Most of the desert fell through the gem onto the lush island below.
"Eh, I guess the Island is getting another dessert," it shrugged casually. As if it hadn't just killed pretty much every hollow in existence. "The stronger ones probably survived, though. I'll have to tell the others to keep an eye out for stray Adjuchas or Vasto Lords."
Kenpachi was still charging!
The Hollow Dragon blew a puff of air like one would do to an annoying fly, and Kenpachi flew back with the speed of a bullet.
"Give me a second," it raised a claw the size of a city. "It's been a few thousand years, but I think I've got it this time."
Once hovering in the sky above their head, as usual, the moon descended on them. It shrank as it got closer until it was ten feet from them and the size of a car, then cracked like an egg.
From that egg, a man emerged.
"Got it right that time!" The man cheered as he emerged from his lunar cocoon. His voice was the same as the dragons, though much quieter.
He was also naked.
And stretching.
"Eep!" Orihime flushed and hid her face in her hands.
"Oh my," Unohana murmured appreciatively.
"Nemu! Seize him," Mayuri cried as he withdrew a syringe.
"Yes, Sir," the lieutenant answered and lunged at the naked man.
The naked man did not seem to acknowledge either of them, though he did reach out to poke the woman as she approached.
Nemu fell to the ground with a loud moan, shuddering and twitching.
"Eep!" Orihime's flush deepened as she recovered her eyes from peaking.
"Oh my," Unohana murmured again.
"Those used to pain are rarely so used to pleasure," the man said with a nod as he backhanded the 12th division captain. Mayuri flew off towards Kenpachi, crashing into the charging captain. "But where are my manners? The name is Mikael," he said with a flourishing bow. "I am a big fan of your work as the first Kenpachi, great murdering you did there. And one of my wives would love to speak with you about your healing later."
Unohana froze, eyes open to their fullest extent for the first time Ichigo had ever seen since meeting her.
"You have something on your back," Chad pointed out.
"It's nothing," the 'man' waived off with one hand as he casually sliced the tentacles growing out of his back with the other. "Been some time since I've been in a human body. Getting used to it again takes a bit. Back me up, Ichigo. One abomination of nature to another."
"What?" The strawberry asked, still trying to catch up to the change in his worldview from the last few minutes.
"Don't worry," Mikael put a hand on the ginger's shoulder in solidarity. "We all go through it at one point or another. The changes are natural. Just a sign of growth. I'll be around to answer any questions you have in this difficult time of your life."
Ichigo got the distinct impression he was being messed with.
Renji was cackling in the background.
When in doubt, punch it.
"Put some clothes on, you pervert!"
As the words left his mouth, Ichigo realized that might be why this guy was looking for Yoruichi. They were both massive perverts.
"I am not a pervert," the naked man/dragon/hollow/thing denied as he sidestepped the punch. "I am THE pervert. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a Keikaku to ruin, a pussy to find, and mayhem to cause. Tootles."
Then the strange, powerful thing sauntered through the portal while whistling.
"What just happened?" Ichigo asked.
"I have no fucking clue."
The entire party took a quick step back.
Finding out the entirety of Hueco Mundo was on the back of a massive dragon and watching it be destroyed was one thing.
But hearing Byakuya Kuchiki swear was just wrong.
********
This one might have a sequel or two in the future, depending on how inspired the TYBW anime makes me.
********
Mikael's Relationship Advice for Harem Protagonists:
"Welcome, class," Mikael declared to the assembled group. He wore a tweed suit, a fake mustache, and glasses he didn't need. "To the first multi-dimensional Harem Protagonist course. HP class, for short. Every night for the next month, you will come here in your dreams. We have dedicated classes on various subjects that will be recommended based on your genre. I particularly recommend 'Bad End Avoidance 101' for all of you, as it is a great supplement to this general course. Before I begin, are there any questions?"
There were a lot of questions.
"Did you kidnap us?" Minato Sahashi asked with alarm.
"Kidnapping is such a harsh term," Mikael answered with a sly grin as he used a magic trick to make his glasses glint ominously. "I like to think of it as 'enthusiastic recruitment.'"
"Excuse me, sir, who are you," Shiro Emiya asked politely with a raised hand. He did not notice how, nearby, on two desks, two siblings eyed him with recognition.
Nor did he notice how the sister had his red hair and gold eyes, and the brother had Rin's black hair and blue eyes.
Sometimes, 'Harem Protagonist' was a genetic condition.
"My name is Mikael," he said, adjusting his fake mustache as it began to slip. "I am your instructor for your homeroom. You will get to know each other over your time here. I'm sure you all have a lot to learn, not only from me but also from your other teachers."
"Mikael-sensei," Kamijou Touma asked. "Why am I here? I don't have a harem. I have terrible luck with women."
"If I say you have a harem, then you have one," Mikael declared firmly. "Or at least the possibility for one. If you do not believe you do, you will attend 'Self-Denial and its consequences' with Aizen-sensei. This is not optional. Humility is only a virtue if it doesn't hurt you or those close to you."
"SIR!" Hyoudou Issei shot to his feet, a broad grin on his face. "Please teach me how to get a harem!"
"What if we don't want a harem?" Natsuki Subaru asked with his arms crossed.
Issei looked like someone had killed his dog.
"Monogamy is a valid way of life, as is not engaging in romance at all," Mikael nodded to the young man, his mustache falling off completely. "This course is about achieving your goals as a harem protagonist. What those goals are, is up to you. Always remember, just because a woman, or man if you are into that, has expressed a romantic interest in you doesn't mean you have to return that interest. It is perfectly fine to have your own preferences, and rejecting someone you are not interested in is better than stringing them along."
"Uh, Mikael-sensei," Tsukune Aono hesitantly asked. "Isn't that mean?"
"No," Mikael lectured. "If you confess to someone you like, do they have to go out with you?" Many in the room shuffled awkwardly, their own history of confessions not giving them much confidence. "If you don't have a judgment one way or another, go on a date or two. That is what dates are for, to find out if people are compatible. By that same nature, if you do not want to date someone, don't date them. Even if it hurts their feelings, so long as you are not cruel, a clean rejection will allow the other party to move on with their lives."
"Finally," Kazuma Satou muttered, resting his head on his crossed arms on his desk. "Some true gender equality."
"There is an exception to this, but you'll learn about it in 'Yandere Survival 104' with Yukiteru Amano. A true veteran of the subject. If you feel you need it, please also take 'No Nice Boats 203' with Makoto Ito. Now we've digressed a bit. Any other questions about the course itself?"
"Umu, what about those of us who are not human?" Ainz Ooal Goan asked imperiously with his boney arms crossed. Inside, Suzuki Satoru was freaking the fuck out.
How had he been summoned here despite all his protections?
How much did this man know?
A harem? He was a skeleton.
Why did that thought bring an image of Albedo screaming 'Bone Daddy!' at him to mind?
"I'd make a boner joke, but I am afraid most wouldn't appreciate it, so I'll leave it dead and buried."
""BOOOO""
More than a few students in the classroom jeered at the pun, but the teacher just took a deep breath with a smile as if breathing in their pain.
"To answer your question, love does not discriminate based on race, gender or creed," Mikael nodded in the direction of several female students, most of who had been looking around curiously and warily. The men outnumbered them, but there were still over a dozen of them. "If you wish a body that can engage in sex with humans, we can work with you to create one for use but love or romance doesn't need sex, so the knowledge we teach still applies."
"So these lessons will be useful for us as well?" Haruhi Fujioka asked. She wore a boy's uniform, but most of the other women wore the female version.
"It is a Harem Protagonist course. That includes reverse harems," Mikeal nodded. "Some courses are more geared towards certain genders or preferences, such as 'Practical Sex Ed' with Medb or Fergus, or 'Managing Men 202' with Circe, if you choose to take any of them. But you will find most of the lessons will overlap, despite differences in genders. Toxic or abusive relationships can happen to anyone, man or woman. As can healthy polyamorous ones. It depends on the people involved, not their gender.
Take Tsunderes, for example. A staple of many harems. There is a fine line between an outburst of embarrassment and anger and physical abuse. Recognizing that difference is the key to living a long, happy life as a Harem Protag. That will be covered in 'Proper Dere Maintenance 101,' where Helltaker will walk you through identifying various 'Deres' and how to handle them."
"So the course is not about getting a harem but managing the affection of multiple people to ensure proper development?"
"Exactly," Mikael nodded at Sunako Nakahara's question. "As I mentioned, only you can decide what that development is. We are just here to give you the tools to achieve it. Now, we have time for one more question, then we must begin with the first lesson. Yes, Yuuki Cross. You've had your hand up for a while."
"Are we the only class here?"
"No, though you will not be interacting with the other classes. You are divided into needs and methods of teaching. This reflects the cultures you come from. Notice how many of you are Japanese in origin? Wuxia or Xianxia require almost entirely different lessons, for example. To say nothing of the School of Hentai. And don't get me started on harems in Fanfiction. That is a mess I am not looking forward to. So the long and short of it is you are not the only Harem Protags out there, but you will not be interacting with others. We want to avoid NTR wars as much as possible."
Turning from the group, Mikael grabbed a folder filled with paper. Then, with an obvious use of magic, he banished it from his hand so the sheets rained down on the class. One fell on each desk, face up in front of all the students.
"This is the course syllabus," he explained, holding a copy of the paper to the group. "Please peruse it at your leisure so you know what to expect. This week will be dedicated to the basics. Stuff you need to know as soon as possible to start improving your lives and those around you. We will primarily focus on communication. The pillar of any good relationship.
Next week we will dive into social conventions. Age of consent, differences in species and cultures, that sort of thing. The third is on, and I can't believe I need to say this, why slavery is wrong. I am not talking about bondage in the bedroom or even hierarchical relationships but actual slavery. Slave harems are not a harem. It's just slavery. If they cannot say no without fear of repercussions, it is rape. Period. Now master/slave play is wholly different."
Most of the room was red-faced to one degree or another, unused to such a blunt way of speaking about sex or relationships.
"The final week will be group projects. You will be assigned a classmate who is best suited to you. You will explain your situation to each other and compare and contrast. This is not meant to critique but to get an outside perspective on your life without judgment. By the end of that week, you will present a full report to me on what you need to improve to become a better Harem Protagonist.
This is the only course that is required by everyone. After you finish it, it is up to you to take electives to achieve that goal. 'Self-Denial and its consequences' is only a requirement for a few of you. I will then help compile a list of courses that will aid you in that goal. Politics. Combat. Sexual Techniques. We teach anything and everything here for a nascent Harem Protag, but always remember it is up to you to put forth the effort."
Mikael took a moment to look around the room, meeting their eyes as if willing to take this seriously.
"We will not be holding your hand. This course will take serious self-reflection and effort on your part. It all takes work, no matter what your goal is. A childhood sweetheart, the popular kid, a harem, or even a quiet life with no romance. As Harem Protagonists, your lives will be challenging, dangerous, exhausting, and even life-threatening. But, with our help, you will reach your happy ending."