Hey Bob, Supe had a straight job
Even though he coulda smashed through
Any bank in the United States
He had the strength but he would not
Folks said his Family were all dead
Planet crumbled, but Superman he forced himself
To carry on, forget Krypton, and keep goin'
********
"Two triple-deckers, half a pound of bacon, and fully loaded with extra cheese," I called out as Chris, still in his costume as Winman, eagerly proffered his plate on which I placed his burgers.
"Thank you," the red and gold-themed hero said as he sat nearby on the lip of the building and dug into his meal with gusto.
Someone else might have been put off by someone eating that much food and staying in healthy shape.
I lived with Artoria.
"And for you," I turned to the shorter green hero. "Two towers of deceit, half a pound of lies, and fully loaded with everything wrong with the world."
"Dude," Beast Boy whined good-naturedly as I passed him his own meal of fake barbeque. "Not cool."
"Sorry," I said with a chuckle. "I couldn't resist."
I had seen no sign that Cyborg, a hero usually associated with the Teen Titans or Justice League, existed in this world when I first investigated. I was bummed at the idea since he was one of the more interesting characters. I couldn't help but echo his words to Beast Boy, if only as a tribute as a fellow meat lover.
I liked to think there was a version of him somewhere that shed a tear of pride at my dig.
"It's healthier!" The green-skinned man defended himself.
"It is," I agreed. "Doesn't mean I'll give up on bacon any time soon. Trust me. When you go for centuries unable to taste anything, your first lamb chop is like nothing else."
There was a beat of silence as the group digested (ha) my words.
Of course, I took the opportunity to fuck with them some more.
"After barrel rolling into and then electrocuting me, that damn goat tasted delicious."
"You have electric goats?" Mercury asked, looking doubtfully.
"I have electric, rolling goats," I corrected smugly. "Much cooler. I might bring one sometime."
"They are an odd breed," Scathach corroborated. "But you are correct. They are quite tasty."
"Especially after they annoy you," I nodded sagely. "Vengeance is my favourite meal of the day."
"Dude," Winman piped up in between bites. "What even is your life?"
"A greek comedy," I answered easily, getting small smiles of amusement from Glynda and Scathach.
"Anyway, I turn into animals," Garfield explained after shaking his head, even as he took a bite of his fake meat. "It's, like, I am them. How would you feel if you ate people?"
"Nothing," I shrugged, uncaring. "It wouldn't be the first time."
Not counting eating dragon hearts for communion, I also felt everything the draconic heads I summoned did. When one of them ate an enemy, I tasted everything.
There was an awkward silence as everyone on the roof heard me and paused.
"Oh duh," Beast Boy eventually said, smacking his head in realization. "You're a dragon!"
"I had honestly almost forgotten," Nightwing said, also still in costume, as he took his own order from me. "You act so humanly, it's hard to think of you as being larger than the state of California."
"That and you are seriously cool," Winman piped in, already working on his second burger. "Seriously, you are way chiller than I would have thought for someone who ate the Simurgh whole."
"How was she tasting of?" Starfire asked eagerly, floating near my face even as I poured extra mustard on her meal.
"Like chicken," I deadpanned.
"Really?"
"No, but if you believe that, then I have this lovely igloo for sale," I snarked. I thought I heard a snort that could have come from Raven, sitting in a corner by herself, but when I turned to look, she was staring over the bay. Turning back to Starfire, who looked crestfallen at my words, I rolled my eyes. "I didn't really taste anything. She was too small. The closest comparison would be if you tried to eat a piece of plastic the size of a mote of dust." That answer satisfied her more as she floated over to her seat beside Nightwing.
"So you can breathe fire and stuff?" Beast Boy asked eagerly with his mouth full. "That's so cool."
"I can't," I shook my head with a slight pout even as I served Scathach her own meal. "I'm not that type of dragon."
"Right," Winman nodded in realization. "You're white. You have ice breath."
"Nope," I denied again. "I actually don't have a breathe weapon of my own."
"Really?" Winman looked disappointed. "So, no poison? Acid? Lightning? Nothing? None of you have a dragon's breath?"
"We do," Scathach nodded, a hint of smugness in her tone. "All of us do. Just not him."
"Laugh it up," I said petulantly.
"What about when you destroyed that corpse? That was fire and lighting." Nightwing asked.
"It was a spell," I said with a shake. For emphasis, I summoned Smarag's, Ekzykes', and Borealis' heads above me.
The titans flinched but didn't react more than that.
"How marvellous," Starfire said, her eyes shining in excitement.
"I can use a whole bunch of dragon breaths using magic," I explained and dispelled the conjurations, knowing full well the Justice League and PRT would know about this by the end of the day. "But they aren't mine. Just recreations of others." There was a reason I used Placidusax's Ruin to destroy Doomsday's corpse rather than a breathe weapon of my own.
A 'weakness' that really wasn't a weakness.
A show of trust.
A dragon's breath weapon wasn't just another weapon. It was a way to extend their Element outside of their range. It was an incredibly powerful attack and symbolic of the dragons themselves.
Without a breath attack, a dragon was just a giant lizard with wings.
I was a bit bummed not to have an elemental breath of my own, but I didn't let it bother me. It wasn't like I was hurting for ways of killing people.
I was just confused about why I was the only one with the problem. Tsunade was also a Life dragon and could use her Element as a dragon's breath attack. Diana had inherited my Freedom element and her breath, while not really damaging, had some cool effects.
Maybe because I was the only one with dual elements?
"Don't worry, dear," Glynda patted my chest affectionately as she took her plate. "We do not love you any less. I hear it is quite common. One in four dragons suffer from it. We will get over this. Together."
"Really." I deadpanned at the blonde. "ED jokes? After yesterday? For shame." I shook my head even as her cheeks pinked at the memory. "To hit below the belt like that," Beast Boy laughed, but most of the others groaned at the pun. Starfire just looked confused. "Someone has been a terrible influence on you."
"You." She said as she took her seat.
"I know," I answered, grinning. "I am so proud."
I loved when I was a negative influence on people.
"How do you do it?"
"You're going to need to be more specific there. Use a breathe weapon? Corrupt my wives? Satisfy them?" I replied, waggling my eyebrows with a smirk at X-23 as she took her steak.
"How do you act so human?" The mutant clarified with a frown.
I pretended not to notice a bunch of ears perk up.
Just as I pretended that this entire meal wasn't being recorded.
We were on top of Titan Tower in San Fransico's bay, and, in a rare break from training over the last few days, I was cooking for the Titans as well as Glynda and Scathach. It was just the ten of us, even if I'm sure some PRT personnel would have loved to come out to enjoy the refreshing autumn air.
Once it was clear I wasn't planning some sort of violent attack, the PRT personnel that supported the Titans returned to headquarters. They had been avoiding my wives and me, but I was sure my every action in this tower was being recorded by six cameras at any given time.
In the last three days, I had only been in the tower for a few hours in total. Mostly when the training was on pause for one reason or another. I had nothing to contribute that Glynda or Scathach couldn't do better. So what time I did spend here was mostly spent getting to know the heroes when they weren't getting their asses kicked.
I used the opportunity to continue building my reputation just as they used the opportunity to try and dig more info out of me.
And this was another chance for both parties.
"I've had practice," I shrugged casually. "This isn't the first time I've had a human body. Though I do admit, it has been a long time. With my wives, you can imagine I've put it through its paces." I finished with a sly smile.
Laura didn't even blink at the innuendo, but Glynda, sitting fifteen feet away and talking to Starfire, blushed a faint pink and glared at me. Scathach simply smirked.
There had been a few hours where all three of us had seemingly disappeared into thin air while in the tower. The PRT freaked out until we returned, thinking we were sabotaging them somehow.
I squarely laid the blame at Glynda's feet.
Watching her 'corruption' by the celt during the Dream was one thing.
It was wholly another to participate in the sort of degeneracy the usually proper huntress conjured up since her sexual awakening.
"From my point of view, to be human is to be flawed. No one is perfect. Being human is the constant state of being aware of that and either improving yourself or living with the consequences of your imperfection. That is my definition." I continued when it looked like the heroine wouldn't accept my joke as an answer. " But that is just mine. If you really want my advice, stop trying to be human."
"What?" Mercury asked, disgruntled by my answer to her friend.
"Explain," Laura said simply rather than be insulted.
"Stop trying," I repeated with a shrug. "I certainly have my ideas on what it means to be human, but those are my ideas. Thousands of minds have asked, 'What does it mean to be human?' Do you know the answer?" Laura shook her head. "That's because no one does. Some think they do, but they don't. We only know what it means to be ourselves. That is my advice."
"Be yourself?" Laura asked in disbelief. "That is it?"
"Yep," I answered as I loaded up my own plate. "I don't mean in the kumbaya, power of friendship bullshit. Think about it this way. Starfire isn't a human at all. Never has been. Mercury is entirely inorganic. Beast Boy's DNA probably looks like a kaleidoscope through the lens of psychedelics. I am a Dragon from beyond time and space. All of us 'act' human. None of us are. Because humanity is irrelevant."
"Hey!" Winman cried out in fake offence, but I waived him off to drive the point home.
"I mean that literally," I continued. "Humanity is entirely irrelevant. One of the countless other species the universe calls home. One day it will go extinct, as all will. Why obsess over something so insignificant? Instead of being human, whose entire race might disappear in the snap of a finger, try to be Laura. Do you want to fight someone? Fight them! Want to be a hero? Be one! You can be a hero in the body of a monster. An angel in the body of a demon. But only you can be you."
While talking to Laura, I ensured my words carried to the whole roof, especially the grey-skinned woman sitting off to the side, well away from anyone else.
"You ask me how I act human? I say I don't. I act like me."
My words weren't lies, as I genuinely believed them, but they weren't the whole truth.
Acting like myself involved acting like others to mislead and manipulate.
Like right now.
Batman hadn't been wrong that the images I presented to the world were fake in a way. A mask carefully crafted to achieve my desired outcome of carving my Family a place on this planet.
A mask that was as real as everything underneath it.
I never pretended to be perfect.
To be human was to be flawed, after all.
"Thank you for the advice," Laura said politely, brows furrowed in thought even as she joined Mercury beside Scathach with her meal.
"No problem." I shrugged again. "As I said, everyone has different ideas about what it means to be human. I don't define humanity as a race or a behaviour pattern. To me, any self-aware, flawed being is 'human.' Though I suppose 'mortal' is a more accurate term than human. It doesn't roll off the tongue as well, though."
"So only someone immortal would not be human in your eyes?" Nightwing asked with a frown.
"No," I shook my head as I cut up my steak, not looking at the hero. "There is no such thing as immortals. And that's a good thing."
"Uh," Beast Boy chimed in. "Yeah, there is. A whole bunch of them, in fact. Off the top of my head, all the amazons, Galactus, a bunch of gods, and a few villains, and I think Kryptonians don't age under a yellow sun. Right?" The green-skinned hero looked to his leader for confirmation, and the former Robin nodded.
"When I talk about immortality, I don't mean agelessness," I shook my head as I thought about how to word my explanation.
The author's content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.
I had been subtly guiding this entire conversation, trying to make a point to one person in particular without ever talking to her.
"Do you know where the title Elden Lord comes from?" I asked.
"From Ranni's homeworld," Robin answered easily.
"Right," I nodded. "But, strictly speaking, I am not an Elden Lord. That title was originally given to those who reigned with the blessing of the primordial god of that world. Most recently, it was used to denominate the consorts of Queen Marika the Eternal. Before her, it was used for other beings. Every one of them was immortal by your standards, as were her children and supporters. You following me so far?"
The heroes nodded.
"I killed them all. And their god for good measure."
I could almost see an electric current pass through the group as my words registered, the dichotomy between my casual interactions with them until now and the acknowledgement that I was a killer with a body count in the seven digits conflicting within their minds.
I wasn't building my reputation to make myself seem like a hero. That was Artoria and Diana's desire.
I was building my reputation to make my Family sacrosanct.
Something sacrosanct did not just mean holy or good. It also carried the connotations of divine punishment should that sanctity be violated.
If I had my way, the heroes of this world would fight to the death defending my Family if they were ever at risk. They would do it because my wives were not only helpful and likable but because they knew what I would do if any of them came to harm.
While extending my hand in aid, I would be the boogeyman at their back.
Building my reputation now was simply killing three birds with one stone.
"They had been alive for tens of thousands of years," I continued as if I hadn't noticed their tenseness. "And I killed them all the same. And I am not the only one. Scathach, how many gods have you killed?"
"A few," the celt replied casually. "They weren't too impressive. More power than skill. They were hardly worth mentioning compared to when I slew my own death."
"And Glynda, your world had immortals, right?"
"Two of them," the teacher nodded, understanding the lesson I was trying to teach. "One I worked for was reincarnated in a new body every time he died. The other was just unkillable. They fought each other for longer than recorded history. They are both dead now."
"You see," I turned back to the young heroes. A few had gotten my point already, but some still needed clarification. "There is no such thing as immortality because all things end. It doesn't matter if it is after a hundred years, a million years, when the sun goes out, when the universe collapses, or when the multiverse vanishes into nothing. Everything eventually dies. You can try and avoid it. In fact, you should. I know I will. But all things die. Even I, who will measure my life not in years but in universal terms, will eventually perish."
Death had proven that point when she had told me every Tier had limits. Even she, multiversal to a degree I couldn't even fathom, was still limited to certain worlds and abilities.
Eventually, once everything under her domain vanished into the annals of time and the last breath of life left the last multiverse, she too would disappear.
"You say that is a good thing," Mercury asked.
"It is," I nodded. "If something was truly immortal, there would be no room for anything else. They would be the be-all and end-all. They could attain anything they wanted because nothing could stop them. Without the limits of mortality, they would consume everything eventually till nothing remained. Just by existing, something without end would guarantee the end of reality."
Even the Company was limited. If it wasn't, there would be no need to hire people, expand a business, collect waifus, or be petty enough to screw me over.
One didn't need Company Policy when they were the be-all and end-all.
They would just kill Death and me, and probably our omniverse for good measure.
In other words, you are limited when you want something but don't have it.
Everything with limits will eventually end.
I had thirty-five million years to think about what it meant to be a Dragon of Freedom and what it meant to be truly limitless.
And I came to realize the truth.
I was only without limits, theoretically.
I could grow infinitely.
That didn't mean I would.
A True Immortal would either want nothing; thus, their existence is irrelevant, or they want and have everything. Then they would consume it all.
And I wasn't there yet.
"Ugh," Beast Boy groaned, holding his head. "I don't get it."
"You don't need to," I shook my head in amusement even as I made sure to enunciate my following words carefully so everyone could hear me very clearly. "You just need to know this: Every god, demon, or immortal can be killed. No exceptions."
********
"He is very... what is the word?" Starfire asked her boyfriend.
"Unique? Scary? Grim? Intense?" Nightwing suggested.
"Intense!" The Tameranian exclaimed, clapping her hands in excitement.
"Mikael can be," Glynda agreed, even as she ate her meal. Her movements, like most things about her, were elegant in their precision.
"He likes to teach," Nightwing said diplomatically. Preach is a better word, in his opinion.
Glynda's look in his direction told him she understood what went unsaid.
"You must understand something about Mikael," the huntress said, wiping her mouth with her napkin before continuing. "He is old. He is powerful. He has experienced more in his life than most do in millennia of living. You would do well to remember that. When he gives advice, you would also do well to listen. It might save your life."
Nightwing frowned but said nothing.
"He is like my father," Starfire said somewhat somberly.
"How so?" Glynda asked curiously.
"He laughs loud and cries quietly," the tameranian was looking skywards, the stars not visible in the evening sky just yet. Nightwing grabbed her hand tenderly in his own, intertwining their fingers. She looked at him with that wide smile that always did things to his stomach. Then she turned to their temporary teacher again. "My people were peaceful. My father's reign has not been. Mikael bears that weight. His words are wise, but he talks from pain."
"That is not... untrue," Glynda nodded slowly, a rare look of vulnerability on her face. It was gone in an instant. "You must understand we all have our own circumstances. Nobody is without pain. My husband works hard to ensure we are all as happy as possible."
"That is admirable," Nightwing nodded, and, this time, there was no hidden undercurrent in his words.
If there was one thing he had learned for sure over these last few days, it was that Mikael and his wives were very much in love.
Their subtle glances at each other.
How they would gravitate together, trading small smiles.
The way their eyes would soften at even the mention of each other.
If it weren't for the irregularity of their polyamorous relationship, it would almost be textbook fairy tale love.
Nightwing was almost jealous.
Beast Boy and Winman had definitely been jealous.
"You said you worked for one of the immortals of your world?" Nightwing asked to change the subject and dig for more information.
"He was the headmaster of Beacon academy," Glynda nodded. "The institution I taught at."
"You mentioned it when you first arrived," Nightwing nodded. "You were the deputy headmistress, correct?"
"I was," Glynda nodded stoically, not giving more information. She'd be a tough nut to crack in an interrogation.
Thankfully, he had a Starfire.
"Were you close?" She asked their temporary teacher, eyes wide in empathetic sympathy.
Raven might have been the actual empath of the team, but Star was the most genuine, outgoing, and empathetic person Dick had ever known.
"We were colleagues. Friends, even," Glynda nodded. "We all were. My compatriots would get on my nerves with their antics, but they were reliable when it counted. Teaching with them at Beacon will always be an honour I hold dear."
"What happened," the Tameranian asked softly.
"The other immortal, Salem," Glynda sighed. "She led the enemies of humanity, the Grimm, and destroyed my world."
"That is terrible," Star raised a hand to her mouth in shock. "Why would she do that?"
"Sometimes villains do not need a reason, Star," Nightwing sighed sadly, thinking of his own time in Gotham. "Sometimes they just want to see the world burn."
"She had a reason," Glynda shook her head in denial. "A good one. She was immortal. She didn't age and could not be killed. And she tried. After millennia, she decided the only way to die was if the gods who cursed her were to return. The only way to do so was cause the destruction of the world."
"You sound as if you agree with her?" Nightwing asked.
"I understand her," Glynda emphasized. Nightwing noticed her eyes flick to Mikael and Scathach quickly before meeting his. "I have recently gained a new perspective on how terrible it is to be unable to die. So I understand Salem. I still condemn her. I have seen proof that her actions were not the only option. Others in her situation rose above their pain and loneliness. Even if she was not a good person, sealing herself away and resting until the world reached its natural conclusion would have been a valid and easier option. She did not."
"Did Mikael kill her?" Nightwing asked.
"No," Glynda sighed. "She got her wish. The gods returned and ended her life and all life with her."
"Then how..."
"Did I survive?" Glynda finished for Starfire with a grim smile. "I didn't."
All eyes turned to Mikael, chatting animatedly with Beast Boy and Winman.
"As I said," Glynda's were on her husband, and that same softness Nightwing had noticed before was there again. "We all carry our own pain. I am sure you have your own stories. Only the young or stupid believe their own pain is the only one that exists."
"...Sorry," Nightwing apologized, realizing how insensitive he had been with the blonde. Not just when they first met but today as well, prying into what must be a painful subject for a woman who had been nothing but helpful. Just because they weren't heroes didn't mean they hadn't faced their own tragedies.
"Apology accepted," Glynda returned her gaze to him with a warm, almost matronly smile. "That is what teachers are for. To help you learn from your mistakes."
Dick Grayson had another realization then.
No matter what else Mikeal's goal was, Glynda Goodwitch sincerely wanted to teach them. To make them better and wiser heroes.
To keep them safe.
********
"I have to know," Cessily asked her Celtic teacher. "How did the Elden Lord convince you to go along with this harem thing?" Scathach raised her eyebrow and quirked her lips. "I don't mean anything by it!" Mercury hurried to clarify, aware of what kind of hell would be waiting for her if she put the older woman in a bad mood. "It's just a bit strange, is all. You don't seem they type, is all."
"The type?" The warrior asked. Her brow was still raised, but her face was placid otherwise.
That didn't mean the mutant was safe yet.
"Badass." X-23 chimed in as she finished her meal. Laura then looked to Cessily, asking if she had used the expression correctly.
"A badass," the inorganic young woman nodded. "So's Miss Goodwitch. If your Wonder Woman is anything like ours, I cannot imagine her going along with it. You all can do better than being one of many. Isn't it demeaning? So I just wanted to know how he convinced you, is all."
"You believe he is controlling us," Scathach said, seeing the root of the problem at a glance.
"No!" Mercury practically shouted, causing a few eyes to look their way. "It's nothing." She called out, and most returned to their meals or talks.
She didn't notice Mikael do so with a smile.
"He's not right?" She asked under her breath, eyes still scanning the rooftop for anyone eavesdropping.
"If he was, would asking about it when he is here be a good idea?" The raised eyebrow was lowered now, but the celt looked almost amused at the question.
"You usually leave as soon as training is done. This is the first time I've had the chance."
"Your concern is understandable but misguided." Scathach dismissed.
"It's just weird," the mutant pressed, certain something unnatural was going on. "One guy. Ten girls. At first, I thought it was a personal thing. Submissive women, dominant guys. It sometimes happens in some cultures. Which, hey, great for them if it works for them. But none of you seem like you would take shit from anyone. Even if they were super strong. You can't tell me that it isn't suspicious that all of you are following his every order and fawning over him."
"Shady." Laura nodded in agreement, looking severe. Mercury didn't let the wince show, once more remembering X-23's less-than-stellar time living on the streets.
"Enough."
Scathach's word wasn't loud.
Mercury shut her mouth.
"I am Scathach!"
The declaration was final.
"I am submissive to no one." She said it with certainty, a resolute pride no one could break. "I have killed students for similar claims in the past."
Mercury's liquid body rippled.
X-23's claws peaked from beneath her skin.
Those red eyes, like bloody gems, bore down on the pair with tangible weight.
Neither doubted she would kill them if she wished.
"I follow Mikael not because he is my superior. Not because he is a man I love. Not because he is stronger than me. Not because I am being controlled." The Queen of the Land of Shadows enunciated every sentence slowly as if daring the pair to speak up in contradiction.
They didn't.
"I follow Mikael because he saved me. Because he shows me places and peoples I have never dreamed of. Because his council is wise and his love is true. Because this road we travel together will one day end when our blades meet. I follow him because I desire that battle more than anything else in existence. I follow him because one day, Mikael will kill me."
Laura and Cessily sat in shocked silence, unable to understand the thought process of this beautiful yet utterly alien woman.
"Your words stem from concern, so I will not slay you where you sit," Scathach stood from her seat, her body as prideful and regal as any queen or goddess. "You have five minutes to meet me by the shore. If you have time to be concerned about your teacher, you have time to train."
And then she was gone, leaving the stunned pair to look at where she had disappeared.
"Pst," Mikael stage whispered, his face appearing between the two young women, causing them to jump in surprise. "I think you pissed her off."
"Jesus!" Mercury exclaimed, turning her arm back from a flail into a hand.
Laura had been quicker.
"Are you alright?!" She asked with urgent concern as she withdrew her claws from an inch deep in his neck.
"It fine," the Elden Lord waived off with a smile, raising a hand to his torn throat. When he removed it, not even a drop of blood remained. "See? Fine. You really don't want that touching you." Then he waived his hand, and the blood disappeared from her claws in a small burst of smoke.
"You surprised us," Laura said.
"That was the point of sneaking up on you," Mikael laughed.
"Why was she angry?" Mercury asked, guessing he had been listening. "I mean, no offence, but you can't deny it's a bit weird for one guy to keep ten women happy."
"It works for us," he shrugged. "It wasn't the questioning of our relationship that was the problem. You wounded her pride."
"By insinuating you could be controlling her?"
"By saying she is submissive. That she can be controlled at all," Mikeal elaborated. When they didn't look convinced, he continued. "You must understand that all my wives come from different cultures and have different values. The whole kerfuffle with the League was because Ranni values strength in a leader."
"Did you just use the word kerfuffle?"
"Anyway," Mikael continued, ignoring Mercury's incredulity. "Though she doesn't show it most of the time, Scathach is one of the proudest of my wives. From birth, she was the best, and she knew it. Her students might be more famous, but no one during her time was her equal. Since then, she has only gotten better. She might follow my lead every once in a while or even act a certain way in the bedroom, but I never mistake her for submissive. Especially because you think she is weaker than me. Of my Family, she is the most willing and able to kill me."
"But that doesn't explain why she's in your harem!" Mercury wasn't inherently opposed to non-monogamous relationships, but the Elden Lord's entire dynamic was in opposition to her worldview.
"I keep telling everyone," Mikael sighed, still smiling as he shook his head in wry amusement. "It's not a harem. It's a Family. Maybe I should bring a whiteboard with me. With diagrams, graphs, red strings, and photos? Then I'll be able to conclusively prove I'm the Queen of England."
This?
This was the man who married the proud Scathach? Who managed to convince ten women to share?
This buffoon?
It had to be mind control.
Or he was really, really good in the sack.
"By the way," Mikael said with a sadistic smile. "Hasn't it been a few minutes already? You aren't going to keep her waiting, are you?"
Laura said it for both of them.
"Fuck."
"Have fun," Mikael waved them off with a smile that wouldn't melt butter. "I'm going to go poke our little misanthrope."
********
"Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke poke. Pokepokepokepoke."
"STOP!" Raven shouted in frustration, fed up with this most recent annoyance.
Bad enough she had to deal with Garfield and Chris, now the Elden Lord, the guy everyone was freaking out about a few days ago, turns out to be a huge man-child?
If there was a god, he hated her.
"I will once you eat your food," Mikeal said smugly, holding out a plate for her.
It smelled delicious.
"I'm not hungry," she denied.
Her stomach rumbled.
He raised an eyebrow, somehow looking even smugger.
Azarath. Metrion. Zinthos.
Azarath. Metrion. Zinthos.
Calm down, Raven.
Don't punch the man who can destroy the city with a sneeze.
He's trying to get a reaction out of you. Do not let him win. You are peace. You are calm.
"Poke."
"Gah!" Raven screamed in frustration, the nearby furniture tearing itself apart from her outburst of emotion.
Glynda waved her hand, and it was back together.
Mikael wasn't even poking her!
He was just saying the word 'poke!'
"I'm leaving." She declared. She tried to stand up.
Tried again.
And again.
"Did you glue me to my chair?" She asked incredulously.
"Glue is such a harsh way of putting it," Mikael waived her off. "I prefer the term 'cursed for my amusement.'"
"You cursed me!" Raven asked, aghast.
"For my amusement," Mikael added again, not looking guilty in the slightest. "I've been trying to widen my repertoire recently, and I am married to one of the most famous witches to ever live. I'm still new to curses, so this one is straightforward to get out of."
"How do I do that?" Raven demanded.
"You can try and overpower it," Mikael said, and Raven tried to channel enough power to escape. No success. "Good luck with that. Or I can release you if you do something for me."
"What do you want?" Raven asked warily.
Mikael held the plate of barbeque in front of her face.
"I want you to enjoy the meal I spent so much effort to make for you out of the kindness of my heart."
"Fine," Raven sighed aggressively. "Give it here."
Mikael did.
Raven hated that it was the best meal she had ever tasted.
"There you go," the Elden Lord smiled at her, taking a seat nearby. "That wasn't so hard now, was it?"
Raven glared at him, her mouth full of the most tender and juicy steak in the world.
"By the way, that curse will wear off in another five seconds," Mikael said with a shrug, still smiling smugly. "What can I say? I'm new to curses."
Raven glared harder.
Raven kept glaring as she ate the rest of the food.
She wanted to slow down and savour it but was unwilling to give the annoying man the satisfaction.
"You're welcome," he said, taking her plate from her.
"Thank. You." She bit out as she stood up to leave.
She took two steps and froze.
"I recognize that rune, by the way."
"I don't know what you are talking about," Raven said, pulling her hood further and deepening the shadows covering her forehead.
"Scath. Or scaith, however you want to pronounce it. It means shadow in Irish. Did you know that?" He said casually as she quickened her pace. "It's actually part of Scathach's name and the name of her home. Dun Scaith. I'm sure she noticed it as well. Has she said anything? I don't think she has. Afterall-"
She was fleeing.
Running from his words.
From him.
From the truth.
From tomorrow.
Raven disappeared through the door, not bothering to open it, just phasing through it like it wasn't even there.
She was down the stairs so quickly she didn't even feel them.
Items shattered as she passed, her emotions leaking destructive magic into the air.
The hall. A left. Another hall.
There.
Her room.
Raven burst into her room, her sanctuary, with her chest heaving from adrenalin and fear.
Mikael sat in the chair near her bed, smiling softly at her.
"Why would she?" He continued, not showing any indication of having stopped his sentence or taken notice of her flight. "She knows nothing of Trigon the Terrible."
Her sanctuary shook.
Books flew open, pages tearing from their binding. Her dresser fell over with a loud BANG. Her bed split in half. Mattress, frame, sheets and covers tore down the middle sending shards of wood and bolts of fabric spinning across the room. Her window exploded, glass tearing through the thick curtains and showering in a deadly crystalline rain.
Mikael sat in her chair, unbothered by the chaos around him.
His eyes never left hers, and his smile never dimmed.
"What..." Raven rasped from a dry throat. "Do you want?"
"I would really like for the world not to end tomorrow. I just got here." He said with a chuckle. "That would be a shitty birthday gift. Take a seat," he nodded to a chair that appeared out of thin air in front of him. "And we can talk about stopping the apocalypse."
********
The next day, October 30th, at 3:33pm, a fiery explosion would rock Diamond Heights Shopping Center.
The Teen Titans, battered and bruised from the day's training, would do the heroic thing and drag their weakened forms to aid first responders in rescuing the victims and investigating the original cause of the explosion.
They were walking into a trap.
Only one of them was aware of it.
She did not tell the others.