I, I will be king

And you, you will be queen

Though nothing will drive them away

We can beat them, just for one day

We can be heroes, just for one day

And you, you can be mean

And I, I'll drink all the time

'Cause we're lovers, and that is a fact

Yes we're lovers, and that is that

Though nothing will keep us together

We could steal time just for one day

We can be heroes for ever and ever

What d'you say?

********

Sitting atop the massive corps of Doomsday, facing the battered forms of the greatest heroes this world had to offer and surrounded by almost my entire Family, I should have felt like the king of the world.

It was similar to that bland board room with Death and the Company rep.

Only this time, I was the eldritch abomination from beyond time and space that held all the power.

I fought back a sigh.

I had made mistakes.

While I hadn't cared about Superman dying or any other heroes, as I had never met any of them, I should have thought about Diana.

The entire reason I had Artoria distract her with a visit to her hometown was so she wouldn't be forced to face people that looked like her former friends.

Therein lay the difference between the Amazon and me.

To me, the people of this world were not her friends. Though they may look the same, wear the same costume, and have the same faces, there was no guarantee they had the same personalities. That made them strangers. Superman could be a Hydra agent for all I knew.

I had treated this world as almost wholly foreign, never acting on my 'knowledge' of comics and Worm until I verified it. The crossover nature of the world ensured some things would be different.

Doomsday was the same.

Superman probably would have died to the alien alone, even without Crawler's powers. Nothing I had seen pointed to the contrary.

Still, I gave it even odds the Kryptonian would survive, however. Nothing stopped someone like Steven Strange from popping up, opening a portal underneath the beast into the heart of a star.

Either way, no skin off my back. Of course, that changed when my plastic surgeon joined the battle.

I had been present for the fight since Amy and Victoria had appeared with this world's version of Wonder Woman. We had been flying, invisible and soundless, for ten minutes as we watched the fight.

If I thought I could have beat the alien, I would have stepped in and 'saved the day.' Crawler's powers were a game-changer, and we had spent a good portion of the time there spitballing about how we could kill it permanently.

By that point, Flash had been on rescue duty, so nobody had really died so long as they could keep it out of population centers.

We eventually decided to step in if they allowed it closer to the coast. I, Tsunade, and Yoruichi would appear and knock it as far as we could into the ocean with a surprise attack. From there, Scathach's and Medea's dragon forms should be able to kill it and blast the chunks to smithereens.

Even then, that plan had a lot of 'what ifs.'

I was a coward at heart. Risking myself was easy. If my body died, I'd recreate it, and that would be that.

Risking my family? When I had no guarantee of success? Not a chance. Not even if I knew they would probably come back. I wasn't willing to risk their loss.

Not for a bunch of strangers I had never met.

For Diana, the situation was different. She didn't even need to deliberate.

The Superman of her world HAD died to Doomsday. Seeing the situation as a repeat of that, it made perfect sense that she would have gone to help, even just as an act of kindness. Artoria, the spirit of chivalry that she was, would not have stopped her.

That is what makes them heroes.

I should have seen it coming.

Not to stop them, of course.

I stood by my promise to support their endeavours as they did me. Even if I was not a hero and had no desire to be one, I had nothing against heroes, and if any of the Family wanted to get into heroics, I didn't mind giving them a hand.

But I would have talked them out of their half-assed scheme on how to kill the creature. For over five minutes, I had watched Diana fight the alien, hoping she was following some plan I had not thought of.

She hadn't been.

I side-eyed the Godslaying Blade still impaled in the alien's skull.

Now it was up to me to fix this mess.

If they wanted to be heroes, it was up to me to ensure they survived the attempt.

"So glad you all could make it," I said with a smile. Fake it till you make it, Mikael. Even when you have no control over the situation, act like you do. Just like in that board room. Even if you can't control anything, even if you are scrambling mentally, never let them see you sweat. "I think we were rudely interrupted back there, but no harm, no foul. We can start over. So, why are you all ruining my vacation?"

Engaging from a position of strength was rarely a bad thing. Looking down at the battered group, two dozen strong at least, I definitely held all the cards if we were to negotiate.

But this wasn't a negotiation.

Negotiation implied they had a choice.

I would drag them to my desired outcome kicking and screaming.

Now, what was my desired outcome?

"So sorry we inconvenienced you, your majesty," Iron Man drawled sarcastically, the last word almost spit. He hadn't retracted his helmet, and his armour was dirted and dented in places but largely undamaged. He had kept to the air, acting more as an annoying distraction to Doomsday than a direct combatant. "I'm sure we-"

"Pardon my friend," Captain America said, interrupting his fellow avenger before he could say anything more. "We appreciate your aid in killing the beast. I fear what would have happened had it reached the city."

"Beast?" I asked, pretending to not understand. I appreciated my companions leaving the talking to me for the moment. It gave me time to bullshit my way out of this. "You mean Doomsday here?" For emphasis, I patted the boney exoskeleton. More than one hero flinched. "You shouldn't thank me. Thank my wives." I nodded at Diana and Artoria. Multiple pairs of eyes had never left the two, particularly Wonder Woman and Myrddin, focusing intensely. "To be honest, I didn't think I needed to intervene. You all should have been more than capable of putting him down eventually, should you have brought your all to bear. Such as those who tried to stop me from landing."

I said it with a smile, even as some in the small crowd winced. I was asking for more information and scrambling for time mentally. Where were Strange, Shazam, Dr. Fate, Eidolon, and a whole bunch of other heroes they should have been able to call upon? A good chunk were still in Australia, unable to travel to the other side of the world unaided, but some of their heaviest hitters should have been able to get here in time to be helpful.

"You seem to know a lot about this... Doomsday," the Martian Manhunter said as he eyed me suspiciously, deflecting my questions with a pointed one of his own.

"Gee, I wonder why?" I replied sarcastically, my eyes clearly moving toward Diana. The one on my side. Man, this was going to be confusing. "It's almost as if I know someone who fought it before. It's not like different timelines are a proven thing after all." Even more, eyes looked at the Amazon on my side as they realized how much knowledge she might provide.

Or already had provided to me.

I was good at improvisation, and this white lie would cover a lot of information I might accidentally reveal and any errors in knowledge.

Krypto the Wonder Dog is a chihuahua here? Must be a different timeline.

I shuddered at that image. If I discovered a world like that, I was destroying it for the good of the multiverse. A chihuahua with superpowers was the worst thing I could imagine.

"Boss! So uncool!" Glory Girl flew over the invisible line that separated my Family from the heroes, uncaring for the tension in the air. Amy flew behind her, starting and stopping as she got used to her new Kryptonian biology. I had expected her to pull something like this when I removed the limits of her shard. I would have gone for something like Beast Boy myself, but Kryptonians are a close second place. "You never told me you were married to a version of Di! Or that King Arthur was a girl! Do you know how awesome that is? Do you?"

"Vicky!" Amy hissed as she came to a stuttering stop beside her sister, grabbing her arm and trying to drag her away from the prying eyes of everyone on the wrecked field.

"Relax, Ames," Glory Girl said as she shook off her sister. "We won. Di kicked its ass, and the Boss helped. Other Di? Anyway, everyone can chill. It's time to celebrate." All the other heroes watched the pair like hawks, ready to launch themselves at a moment's notice. To stop the girls or attack me, I didn't know. Victoria remained unconcerned. "Come on, Boss! Introduce me to everyone."

"You know, I have been terribly rude myself," I said, even as I was compelled to follow her order. I looked to the heroes, my mind running at the speed of light. "We are all familiar with you due to the news, but we should have introduced ourselves. I am Mikael, Queen of England."

There was a beat of confused silence.

"Sir Mikael!" Artoria cried in disbelief at my words, flushing red. Yoruichi snorted in amusement, and more than one smirk was sent at the blonde knight. I couldn't help but giggle to myself at her outcry.

My joke defused the tension as intended. I saw Flash crack a smile and Myrddin looked poleaxed.

"As you never died nor abdicated, you are still king," I continued with a teasing grin. I lay my chin in my hand, tapping my fingers to my ears in fake thought. I hoped Emma would get the message from wherever she was watching this from. "Since we are essentially married, that makes me queen."

"That..." Artoria paused, face still red, trying to find words to deny me but unable to.

"Hold up," Iceman, the x-man, held up his hand. "If you are King Arthur and a girl, how did..." The young man started to say, but Artoria's intense gaze made him stutter. "I mean Guinevere, Lancelot, Morgana... Mordred?"

"""""""""""Merlin."""""""""""

It said something about the ancient wizard that, when prompted, everyone in the Family said his name as if that answered everything. Even Ranni and Melina, who hadn't spent nearly as much time with the King, still knew enough to answer the same as the others.

"I get it, I get it," the young mutant said, backing up with his hands in the air. He half-ducked behind the metal frame of Colossus. "Touchy subject."

"Why don't you all introduce yourselves?" I asked the rest of the Family. Partly to fulfill Victoria's order and buy me time to think.

"Very well," Artoria nodded imperiously, her flush receding at this opportunity to change the subject. She looked out over the heroes as if she was looking out on her own soldiers, her innate charisma drawing every eye to her. "Those of you who took refuge in my hall have heard me. I shall repeat myself for those who have returned from recovery. I am Artoria Pendragon."

I let my eyes drift from the heroes and towards the Godslaying Blade.

I was good at making shit up and distracting people, but I needed to focus on what I wanted out of this situation.

What were my victory conditions?

"To avoid confusion, please simply call me Diana."

They were almost the same as when I confronted Flash earlier. Present myself as powerful enough that bothering me cannot be done easily but is not a threat. I hadn't been lying when I told them I was on vacation. I wanted to be left alone.

"Medea of Colchis," Caster said shortly, surveying the heroes.

My initial goal had been to present myself as a passive third party. Someone who won't do anything and will not get involved if left alone. Not an enemy, but also not an ally. Switzerland in this topsy-turvy world of heroes and villains.

"Senju Tsunade." "Nico Robin." "Shihouin Yoruichi." The big three, as I liked to call them, responded just as shortly. Like Medea and I, they preferred not to spill any more information than necessary.

I know them leaving me entirely alone was impossible. I was too great a power for that, but I simply didn't want to have heroes breathing down my neck every time I left the Island. A wary caution was acceptable, but not harassment.

"Scathach, Queen of the Lands of Shadow." While not as imperious as Artoria, the Celt was no less elegant in her declaration.

Want to spy on me? Fine. If I was them, I would like to spy on me too. I didn't really care about that at this point. They already had a good idea of my power by now. A few aces in the sleeve would remain hidden, but if they were just going to watch me with spy drones, I could live with that.

Interrupt my dates? You better be prepared to die... or be pranked back into the stone age. When I talked about my 'vacation,' I wasn't talking about doing anything. There would be touristy shit, and all but the real key was to spend time with the Family.

They had supported me from the sidelines for a year with no reciprocity, and I had watched them the entire time. But, barring Ranni and Melina, we had minimal time together. This first world, while I waited for Death to contact me and figure out a way to get to tier 11, was a time for us to grow this relationship.

To become a Family.

"I am Glynda Goodwitch. It is a pleasure." There was more than one snigger in the crowd, and Glynda sighed. Since coming to this world, she had seen the Wizard of Oz.

She wasn't amused.

On the subject of not looking like a threat and not getting involved, Diana and Artoria had fucked me over completely. That part of my victory condition was no longer applicable.

So change victory conditions.

"Greetings, heroes from another world. I am Melina." She did a little curtsy. Her introduction was the humblest and friendliest, drawing some smiles from the crowd of heroes.

Instead of a passive third party, become someone they can't afford to offend for an entirely different reason.

A plan was starting to come together in my mind.

"We have been introduced," Ranni said scathingly, looking at Superman, Wonder Woman, Iron Man and Martian Manhunter with disapproval. Some others looked at her in confusion, probably unaware of their encounter in space.

"Behave, Ranni," I said in a teasing voice. Her cheeks flushed, likely remembering her... punishment.

"As my Lord Husband commands," she nodded demurely at me before turning back to the heroes. "I am Ranni, Goddess of the Chill Moon. 'Tis my Order which blesses thy skies." More than one onlooker turned their heads upwards to look at the Dark Moon inlaid with Golden Rings.

"Right!" I said, clapping my hands together. "Introductions out of the way, let's get comfortable. Tsunade, if you would?" The ex-Hokage nodded in understanding before stomping the ground. Hard. More than one hero flinched as rows of wooden benches rose for them to sit on. The blonde had also made proper seats for those of the Family. They weren't anything fancy, but they were definitely better than benches. All ten of the women sat down as if on a throne. I fought a chuckle at the non-too-subtle power move. They could be just as petty as me when they wanted to be, and the trio were some of the least impressed with this world's 'heroes.' "Then you can answer my question on why you all thought it was a good idea to try and surround my Family and me while we were enjoying our breakfast."

Another collective flinch as a few decided to take a seat. Some looked grateful for the opportunity to get off their feet. Others remained standing. I knew why they had done so. I had set the trap, after all. I also didn't really blame them for it. I would have also taken the bait if I were in their position.

Didn't change the fact that I would use it to my advantage. Barring unique circumstances, like with Malenia, I was the type to use everything I could.

Hypocritical? Definitely. Did I care? Not even a little.

My new victory conditions needed me to be seen as a 'misunderstood' victim and the heroes to be the victimizers. Was I powerful? Certainly. But I needed to shift my image from a threat to a resource they did not want to antagonize and the one public would not allow them to.

"We'd be happy to talk with you now that we have the opportunity," Captain America said with a tight smile. He, Superman, and Wonder Woman had gravitated a few feet in front of the rest to act as spokesmen for this little talk. All of the three had yet to take a seat. "Though, I ask that we do so at a later time. Right now, people need help. The monster carved its way here from Clevland, and there are many injured, and we need to aid with the rescue efforts."

I could see his logic. Flash had been on rescue effort this entire time, but not even he could grab everyone or ensure those he did rescue were healed. The minutes after a disaster were critical to ensuring the most people survived.

Not only was he right, rescue efforts were ongoing, and as heroes, they would want to help that, but it would also give them the needed time to talk. They were all healed thanks to Amy but were still tired. Several heroes were also looking confused about this whole situation.

Playing for time would give them time to rest and get everyone on the same page so they could present a united front like we were. It would also allow them to reset the dynamic. Right now, my side held every single advantage.

With one small request, Captain America did the right thing morally and started the process to wipe away all the disadvantages his side was facing.

Too bad he had given me exactly what I needed.

"Hm," I pretended to give it some thought before declaring firmly. "No." It was amusing how they all tensed, looking angry that I wouldn't 'let them go.' "You all cost me too much of my time with my family with your ineptitude already. I would rather get this out of the way now and move on with my life." A few looked ready to fight again, but I cut them off before they could argue. "Melina."

As I said her name, I used a Command Seal to connect us, the red glow hidden below my shirt.

Fun fact about seals, not only could they be used to give orders, but they had a whole bunch of other uses. Healing was one of them, like what Emma and I had lied about using, but also empowering. The seals were usually powered by the Holy Grail, almost like limited-use batteries of power, but my set of six were all powered by me. The more power I had, the more power they did.

And I had unlimited power.

My maiden turned to look at me, and I nodded at the heroes. "Would you plant a tree? It's about five hundred kilometres to Cleavland, right?" I asked Superman, who nodded slightly. I turned back to Melina. "No need to go all out then. About the size of the Weeping Peninsula will do."

Without a word, she raised a hand into the air. A massive golden circle blazed itself into the air. The symbol of the Erdtree and the Crucible hung for a moment, numerous heroes shooting to their feet in shock and fear before the glow faded.

In its place, a titanic golden tree grew.

It was smaller than the Erdtree of Leyndell, but not by much. If Melina had used all the power I provided, she could have created something big enough to cover the entire northern hemisphere. Still, I had deliberately asked her to keep it contained.

More than one hero looked on in shock as its golden glow surrounded us. We were in its trunk but could still look up to see its golden canopy, well above the clouds, rained ephemeral golden leaves upon the entirety of New England. The sheer spectacle and beauty even captured the attention of the rest of the Family, and I saw more than one of them give Melina reevaluating looks.

As the leaves fell, they healed all that fell under their glow.

It wouldn't regrow limbs, cure cancer, or even help with diabetes, but it would do the job. Nobody from Boston to Cleavland to South Carolina would die any time soon. The heroes, too, looked reinvigorated. Unlike Amy's healing, it also restored exhaustion.

It would be a sleepless night in New England.

It was one of the few spells I didn't know since I had already been able to heal myself by the point I had seen Melina use it the first time we faced Morgott together.

After less than a minute, the titanic tree faded, leaving the dim glow of twilight to consume us once more.

Melina hadn't even stood from her seat to perform the spell.

"There we go," I said casually as if the feat my maiden had just performed was an everyday thing. I was crafting an image of the Family. One of benevolence but overwhelming power. I wanted the mere idea of trying to impede us to seem insanity. The display also obfuscated the truth that Melina was, by far, our weakest link. She was a skilled warrior, but she lacked the power of Ranni and the versatility of the other women. She hadn't even discovered her semblance, for god's sake, nor practiced with Haki.

When it was just me, I was all for tossing aside my image and acting like a fool but, now that I was a family man, I sided with Ranni.

Image was necessary in a world of heroes and villains.

"Is there anything else stopping this conversation now?" I asked Captain America with a smile.

"Ah," he stammered slightly, eyes wide. "We still need to rescue those trapped by rubble and aid in reconstruction efforts." He was grasping at straws in my eyes. Not wrong, but obviously searching for excuses.

As if I'd let him.

"Glynda." This time, I didn't even need to clarify my request. The former huntress stood from her seat with a sigh. I would make it up to her later.

She stepped quickly from the gathering of people, even the crowd of reporters and onlookers that we had started gathering in the less than ten minutes since Doomsday had fallen.

Once she was far enough away from the group, she transformed.

""Woah.""

""Jesus Christ!""

There was a collection of intakes of breaths and exclamations of surprise as the seven-foot-tall blonde transformed into the 'small' dragon. Only three stories tall, she was beautiful to my eyes. She was a western-style dragon, like me, but much more svelt and serpentine. Her scales were a purplish white, and her wings, one large pair and a smaller pair around her waist, had a darker purple hue.

Glynda hated it.

She claimed it reminded her too much of the Grimm she had fought for her to feel comfortable in its skin.

Nevertheless, none of the Family could deny the usefulness of the dragon forms. Not only were they highly mobile, giving flight to those who lacked it, but they were also stronger and tougher than their regular bodies.

Most valuable were the elements they provided. Per the catalogue, the women would gain one of my elements unless they had a more fitting one based on their personalities and themes. Only Tsunade and Diana shared an element with me. The rest were not so attuned to Life or Freedom and thus gained their own.

Glynda had gained the element of 'telekinesis.' It was one of the 'weakest' of the family and thus grew the fastest, except Emma's diamond element. By transforming, her semblance was enhanced in power and her range and control shot through the roof. Combine it with her mastery of Observation Haki, and Glynda, despite only being tier 7, could pull shit similar to a Pheonix powered Jean Grey in her limited expertise.

The dragon took off with barely a movement of air, heading west by northwest along the trail of destruction that Doomsday had carved on his way eastward. Even as she passed, dirt filled in holes, roads reformed, trees replanted, and buildings rebuilt.

In the short time, it would take her to reach Cleaveland, it would be like Doomsday never existed.

"Now," I said, letting my smile drop. There was a stunned silence in the air as they realized they were not staring at one dragon but ten. "Let's have that talk." I used one of the less-known abilities of Dragon Aura.

The Fear.

The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

I flared my power, and I could see the instinctual response of those gathered. The regular people, onlookers and reporters could sense nothing. They were below tier 4.

Everyone above that? They were confronted with Fight, Flight, or Fuck instincts. It wouldn't make anyone fall in love with me, not when they were only exposed for a few seconds, at most a flare of lust, but it forced everyone to acknowledge my power.

As kind and benevolent as I was acting, I needed them to understand I wasn't a hero.

To their credit, not one of the heroes gathered ran despite their instincts. A few stepped back, but that was it. I could see the fear in their eyes, the lust in a few women, but they all stood firm in opposition to me. When confronted with Fight, Flight, or Fuck, they had all chosen to fight.

Only they couldn't fight.

In less than a minute, I had turned my Family into untouchables, and I could see that a few of the more intelligent heroes could see it.

We had healed entire states.

We were rebuilding homes.

Anyone who attacked us now would be vilified in an instant.

There were plenty of strong heroes. But how many could make a disaster like Doomsday have never happened? Only the strongest of reality warpers and those rarely cared for the common man. Any hero or villain that tried to fight Glynda or Melina would be lynched by everyone they met. The protection Panacea enjoyed before she became the Red Queen would be nothing compared to what people worldwide would provide to my Family.

And I wasn't done yet.

I had gotten good at fighting over centuries of experience, I enjoyed a good fight, but combat had never been my specialty.

It was lies, politics, subterfuge, and manipulation.

I liked to think I used these abilities, vile as some would find them, to good ends. Was it wrong to manipulate Solaire, the Chaos sisters, Lucatiel, Sirris, and others to ensure their happy ending? It was undoubtedly underhanded, but I never thought it was bad.

This carrot and stick game I was playing with the heroes of this world was all in the service of the Family.

My wives wanted to be heroes? Fine. Let me set the field for them. They were strong, some even able to kick my ass unless I was in my main body, but that didn't stop me from worrying about them.

I was paranoid like that.

If they were going to be on the front lines against Doomsday, Thanos, Darkseid, Molecule Man, Magneto, Galactus, Endbringers, or any other absurdly powerful beings in this world, then I wanted to stack the deck in their favour.

I was a big fish in an ocean, and there were sharks in these waters. I couldn't fight all their battles, nor would I want to. Look at Doomsday. If I had tried to fight him with anything less than my whole body, he would have beaten me like a redheaded stepchild.

So, let's mobilize an army for them.

My new victory conditions were this: Make my family sacrosanct.

I wanted the heroes of this world ready to throw themselves between them and everything that could harm them. Both because of how valuable they were and out of fear of what I would do should anything happen to them.

Warranty did not make them expendable in the least to me.

"We meant no disrespect," Wonder Woman, the one from this world, spoke up as I let the Fear fade. "My comrades and I were just nervous when one of your... station decided to visit our home. Surely you can understand our caution?"

"I do understand," I nodded at her, my glare softening but not allowing a smile to form. "Caution is rarely something I find fault in. But, as I understand your position, so must you understand mine too. I have just regained a human form and was looking to spend time with my family. Imagine you were separated from your family for a long time. Right when you get the chance to spend quality time with them, you find yourself accosted by groups making spurious claims and posing themselves for a fight."

A bunch of the crowd shuffled awkwardly at my words.

It was a long-held problem of comics, the homelife vs. the costumed life.

I was sure everyone standing before me had a date or anniversary interrupted by some villain attack or the equivalent. I was banking on that empathy.

Rational but empathetic.

Kind, yet not a pushover.

Powerful, but not a threat.

I was building my image, one sentence at a time.

And I didn't even need to lie.

"You have made no attempt to open a dialogue before now," Wonder Woman pressed, unwilling to concede the point. "We have had no choice but to look upon you distrustfully."

"You are wrong," I said with certainty. "I did try and open a dialogue. Well before I even reached earth, in fact. Acting as my Herald and Guiding Moonlight, Ranni flew ahead of my path. Specifically to alert people and clear the way so there wouldn't be any conflict." I nodded at Ranni. I saw some look at her in surprise, likely those who knew nothing of the confrontation in space. I wasn't only speaking for the benefit of those gathered here. Everyone in the world would watch this on the news. This was me controlling a narrative. "Did Ranni not tell you that I was coming? Did she not try and talk you down from attacking me? Did she not tell you I would help you when you told her you were readying to fight a Lord of Chaos? And when you mistook me for that Lord of Chaos, did she not tell you I was not?"

"Hold on-" Iron Man tried to interrupt me, likely realizing what I was doing, but I kept going.

"I admit, her words might have confused you since she comes from a more militaristic culture, but you cannot deny that she tried to dissuade you from fighting as much as possible. And when it came to blows, did anyone die? Before you tried to attack me, she fought to injure, not kill. Even when you attacked me unprovoked, did I hurt anyone? And when I reached earth, did I not destroy one of these Endbringers that has laid waste to your world? Even as you all tried to slay me? When I reached out to the Sorcerer Supreme as a kindness, warning him of a potential world-ending catastrophe, did he not attack me on sight? He called me an abomination less than an hour before I helped rescue the citizens of one of your greatest cities from a rampaging maniac."

There was some awkward shuffling as I spun my weave. Nothing I said was untrue, so they couldn't refute it. They could and would use only a few arguments, and I was prepared for them.

"Answer me this, heroes of earth. Have I, since arriving on this planet, hurt anyone? Have I been anything less than a blessing to your world? Even now, my family has slain a beast you could not put down. We have healed your wounded and are rebuilding your cities. Have we earned any distrust from you?"

"The people who disappeared onto that Island. Are they still alive?" Captain America asked grimly.

"I have no idea," I admitted, half honestly. I could be omniscient there, like during the Dreaming, but it would require my whole focus. I would be trading the ability to control a body for the ability to watch grass grow. Not worth it.

"How can you not know?"

"Because the island is fucking huge!" I answered strongly. That was true. Unless I wrapped the entire thing in my power, like when I Dreamt, I had no way of observing every part of the Island. Instead, I had set 'rules' with Medea's help using innumerable bounded fields and my limitless power. "And I don't care how people try and commit suicide. That is why only those with purely malicious intent can enter! They had to be completely irredeemable! I am not trying to protect myself from you all. I've already proven you can't hurt me. I am trying to protect your world from mine. The things that call my Island home would kill all who enter it and drive your civilization back to the stone age should they be released!"

I had set that up with Medea early on to get bodies for our experiments in a way the more heroic-minded of our Family couldn't complain about. Ethically sourced human bodies for me to try out. Most turned to mush. I'm sure Medea the cat was also getting her fair share of extra food from the invaders.

I always knew my lovable floof ball was a psychopath. Reaching Tier 6 and having the power to back it up had only made her cuter to me.

"You've conquered worlds," Iron Man said, finally getting a word in as I finished my tirade. "Blueberry admitted to that, and you agreed when you met Professor X. Of course, we will distrust you. How do we know the earth isn't your next conquest!"

"You will return the same courtesy we have given you," I said seriously, letting the Fear spread again. I let it go after a second. "After aiding you, we have introduced ourselves. You will maintain basic courtesy and use our names, or I shall pull my blade from Doomsday and let him finish what he started. Do not mistake our kindness for weakness."

"It's still alive?!" Superman asked in shock as every hero rose to their feet, and numerous onlookers backed away.

"Of course it is!" I said, not minding their shock or the disapproving looks Diana and Artoria were shooting me. Just as I knew the Simurgh was utterly dead, I knew that Doomsday was 'dead' but not permanently. He kept trying to revive himself, but the time aspect of the blade kept killing him as he healed. The second I pulled the sword from his skull, he would be on his feet again, likely with a second head with a second Corona Pollentia, so the same thing couldn't kill him again. The greatest threat the combination of Doomsday and Crawler posed wasn't his mutation while he was alive but how quickly it came back to life.

Comic characters were fucking absurd.

Of course, there was no way in hell I would pull the sword out, not when I had no good way of killing the thing again without blasting away the eastern seaboard, but the heroes didn't need to know that. And it gave me a perfect excuse to lessen the power of my Godslaying Blade held in the eyes of the world.

I didn't need a bunch of villains coming after my family and me because they thought I had an uber-weapon. Before revealing myself to Diana, I had already set up insurance for my other weapons. But the Godslaying Blade would draw extra attention since it was what felled the alien.

"If Thor came to you today, saying he is returning from a conquest, would you be as suspicious? Did any of you ask Ranni what she meant when she told you all I had 'conquered' worlds?" I asked the group, who were eyeing my 'seat' with wide eyes. That drew attention back to me and calmed a few down when it looked like I wouldn't go through with my threat. "Why would she join me if I conquered her world? Surely you don't think that Diana or King Arthur would side with someone who goes on world conquest for fun? Ranni, Melina, tell them about the Lands Between. My most recent 'conquest.'" I said sarcastically.

"When my Lord Husband arrived at our lands, the war of the Shattering had been ongoing for millennia," Ranni started without hesitation. By now, she understood what I was building towards. Of the Family, she, Emma, and Medea were the most politically savvy. Just because she had goofed a bit with the initial meeting with the heroes didn't mean I couldn't trust her to have my back once I had updated her on how this world worked. "My half siblings, demigods all, were vying for the Elden Ring and the title of Elden Lord. He slew them all, restoring peace to the land." She didn't mention it was her assassination, with Marika's aid, of Godwyn the Golden that had kicked things off.

"That doesn't soun-" Superman's words were cut out by Melina.

"The first demigod he slew was Godrick, of the golden lineage," Melina said seriously. Her face, ordinarily impassive and unreadable, was tinged with visible disgust. "He was called the Grafted, as were others of his line. He sent out his soldiers to capture all who he could. He would cut their limbs from them, grafting the strongest onto his form and fashioning others onto children's bodies. These abominations served as the shock troops of his armies. I walked the halls of his castle. I saw the piles of flesh, the limbs hanging from the rafters, and the feral dogs glutting themselves upon the bloody remains." Numerous people looked sick, and a few of the crowd of civilians actively vomited at the imagery. "Godrick's passing was celebrated throughout the land."

"My Lord is not without mercy," Ranni picked up where Melina left off. "As I mentioned when we first met. When he reached the Raya Lucaria, where my mother was held prisoner. After he slew those who held her captive, he spared her life and those of her entourage even as they attempted to kill him."

I opened my mouth, ready to move onto the next stage of my plan, my point having been made, but Melina continued.

"Next to fall was General Radhan," she said to her captivated audience. "The Starscourge was the mightiest of the demigods. With his will and magic, he held the night sky's stars in place. But his was a cursed existence. Consumed from within by the Scarlet Rot, he wandered the shifting dunes as a mad dog, distinguishing neither friend nor foe. He would feast upon the bodies of the fallen." I'm sure some of the heroes were listening to learn more about me and my abilities, but I saw some people look genuinely invested in the story.

Which made me uncomfortable, to say the least.

I squirmed slightly in my seat.

"My brother's soldiers held a Festival of War every twenty years," Ranni continued seamlessly. Was Emma ignoring me and allowing the two to communicate between themselves? Or were they just so in sync that they knew when the other would stop? "They knew their general would wish to die in honourable combat rather than continue to waste away. For centuries, the Radahn Festival drew the greatest warriors of the land, all fighting to be the ones' to slay the greatest demigod. None succeeded. Till my husband arrived."

"For four days and four nights, he battled the Starcourge," Melina picked up. For just a hint of a second, I caught her giving me a look. A slightly smug look. They were teasing me! Doing as I had asked but also taking the chance to see me squirm! The fiends! "Even after all other warriors fell to the general's blades or his magic, Mikael stood defiant in the face of death. He slew the demigod and freed the stars from his control."

"Morgott, the Omen King, responsible for the stalemate of centuries." Ranni picked up. They were bragging about me, and there was nothing I could do about it without shattering the image of solidarity I had been working hard to project. Even the other women of the Family were looking at me with appraising eyes. They had never gotten the 'full' story from the two before. "Rykard, who unleashed untold blasphemies upon the lands. Malenia, the undefeated, the origin of the Scarlet Rot. She had unleashed the blight upon Aeonia. Once a vibrant place of beauty and life, Caelid became a fetid swamp, fit only for the rotted and the dying."

"What did he do after slaying all those who had held the lands in the grip of war? After claiming the Elden Ring and becoming Elden Lord? After providing rest to the undying, rescuing those still living and setting up a refuge for those afflicted by the war?" Stop! Please stop it!

"He left," Ranni said decisively. Oi! Don't say it like it was my idea. It was you! I would have left anyway, but it was your idea to take the entire Order with us! "Even as the world cried out for his rule, even as countries bowed to him, begging him to be their Lord, he left. Taking the source of the conflict with him so the world might know. He never sought to rule. Only to liberate."

That's it! These two were not allowed to be alone together anymore! They were terrible influences on each other. They knew I hated attention, and while I was fighting my instincts to go out of my way to build an image now, they were teasing me.

Where was the Melina who blushed at the thought of sex? What happened to the little Ranni who would poke her fingers together cutely and not meet my eye.

Who had corrupted these sweet cupcakes? They became vixens who would tease their poor husband.

"It was the same in the other worlds," Medea spoke up to the momentary silence after Ranni's final declaration. She shot me a look as well, and it was all I could do to not show a glimpse of betrayal on my face. Et Tu, Medea? "He arrived in a world consumed by a curse of the undead. They had swallowed kingdoms and would eventually drown the world in the abyss. The only way to stop it was for him to give himself up to burn upon sacred flames. He burned for thousands of years so that others may live. When the curse returned, he built a world for survivors to escape. That is how he 'conquers' worlds! With power, certainly. But mostly with kindness, compassion, and a willingness to fight and die for the freedom of others."

Betrayal. Mutiny. This a Coup! I could have brushed it off if anything they said was a lie. But it wasn't.

It wasn't the whole story, but nothing they said was wrong. I had gone out of my way to give people happy ends. Only I had done it for the selfish reason that I liked those people, not some noble spirit of altruism.

Like all great betrayals, the most significant blow from who you least suspected.

"Indeed," Artoria spoke up, her chin lifted proudly as if speaking of her own achievements. Stawp! "I would count Sir Mikael as the bravest, kindest, and noblest of my Knights of the Round."

Artoria's words, delivered without the intent to tease and purely from her genuine belief, dealt the final blow.

I felt my cheeks redden.

The looks sent my way by my family, full of teasing and honest smiles, were nothing compared to the looks I was getting from the crowd.

Stop it!

I was a dragon the size of a continent! I was a horror the human mind could not comprehend! I was older than humanity itself in this world! I can destroy this planet with a sneeze! I was ready to let Superman die and was actively manipulating the entirety of the world!

So stop looking at me like that! Like I'm some sort of Dragon Jesus, ready to sacrifice myself for your sins. Die for your own sins, for all I care!

I wasn't a hero!

I didn't want to be a hero!

Heroes don't get happy endings!

"Right," I coughed into one hand, trying to get things back on track. "As I said, all this distrust could have been avoided if you had simply asked Ranni a few clarifying questions. Is it any wonder we've tried to stay out of the way? Even if I gained a human body, can you blame me for quietly trying to pass my time on this planet with my family?"

"On behalf of all of us here," Superman said firmly, standing before the group. "I sincerely apologize for our actions. We were hasty and judgemental, and we have wronged you and your family." As he bowed his head in apology, I blinked at him in surprise. Then I looked around at the other heroes. While a few were still side-eyeing me, nobody seemed outright distrustful or fearful anymore. The fuck? "While we might try to justify our actions, it is clear that you have done great good for the people of earth. Even if all you did was rid us of the Simurgh, we would not be able to thank you enough."

Captain America looked deeply regretful. Wonder Woman was looking at Diana with... understanding? Iron Man wasn't meeting anyone's eyes. The Flash was rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. Glory Girl was nodding as if to say, 'I told you so!' Other heroes were giving out mutterings of apology, bowing their heads in shame or nodding their heads at Superman's words.

Stop it!

This wasn't how I planned things!

Where is your distrust? Your acknowledgment of the threat I pose? Your reluctant agreement to my words, as if prying them from your cold dead lips? Where was your paranoia?

Where was Batman!? He wouldn't believe me! He has to be listening right now, right? Bring him out here, and he'll bring you to your senses!

Why were you all so, so, so.... nice!? So good!?

You are seriously making me feel bad, damn it! Like I kicked a superpowered puppy.

"I accept your apology," I said with a sigh, not letting on how much their... heroism affected me. Initially, I planned to paint them in a terrible light and then engage them with a compromise from my position of absolute strength. I saw the headlines in my head; 'Justice League persecute poor dragon!' 'Are heroes bad?' 'A Family of Dragons; they are here to help!' Now? There was no fun in kicking a good dog. The more I looked at their healed but dirty bodies, the worse I felt. I needed to get out of here. "Like I said, Ranni's words must have confused you. Of course, even if I accept the apology, it still leaves us with a problem."

"Thank you for your understanding," Wonder Woman said. Stop it! "What sort of problem?"

"The problem of trust," I said, reaching my final goal of this conversation. Let's get this out of the way and go back to Australia. Simple and easy to understand Australia. Where everything tries to kill you. "You don't trust me, which I can understand, and I don't trust you after all your actions against my family and me."

"I understand," Superman said, still looking at me regretfully.

"More than that, I cannot trust you all with the defence of the earth," I said. For the first time, the heroes looked genuinely insulted. Tough. "The earth has a special place in my heart," I continued. "Not only do Victoria and Amelia call it home, but half of my family hail from it or a version of it. If Diana and Artoria hadn't stepped in to help, would you have been able to kill Doomsday? And at what cost?" Though many people looked affronted at my words, none could deny the truth of the words themselves.

"What are you proposing?" Superman asked. God, the man looked so accepting. Stop being so naive, you doofus!

"I am on vacation," I reiterated. "I don't want to be disturbed when I am with my family. But not all of us want to stay out of conflict." I turned to Scathach, silent until now. "Are you still interested in training a few protegees?" I asked. Her smirk was beautiful, though the heroes shivered for some reason. Weaklings. "Are you two still interested in heroics?" I turned to Diana and Artoria. The blonde simply nodded, but the amazon looked at me with slightly widened eyes.

Had I set this all up so Diana could spend time with her friends and be a hero again without all the suspicion and fear that being part of the Family would bring? Of course, I did.

My initial plan would have the relationship be more strained but with more power in our hands, but this worked out just as well. When I promised to support them wholeheartedly, I never intended to do things by half measure.

That it was a good excuse to open relations between the Family and the world was a happy little accident.

"There you go," I said, standing from my seat atop Doomsday's corpse. The rest of the Family also did so, their seats receding into the earth. "They will be around, either to train you or help you or act as heroes. Feel free to ask them questions, get to know them, and the like. We'll stop by occasionally too. Trust isn't built in a day but getting to know each other is a good first step."

"We'd be happy to have them," Superman said with a welcoming smile at Diana, who smiled back. Of course, you would, you big blue boy scout.

I sighed again.

Do you ever go into a conversation expecting it to be awkward, confrontational, or emotionally painful? Then it turns out you were worried over nothing? Then you are left feeling vaguely cheated? You got everything you wanted, but you feel bad about it?

That was me right now.

Glynda landed and transformed as I stepped down from the body. She shot me a look as she did, and I shook my head. I knew what she was asking, and I was giving them enough rope to hang themselves by.

"I have repaired all the damage I could find," she said. "What did I miss?"

"Nothing important," I said. "We were just leaving."

"Boss?" Victoria asked. "You are already leaving?"

"I have a few things left to do, and a few of us will stay behind, but yes, I am returning to my vacation," I said. I wanted to relax and go for a flight to organize my thoughts. The young woman pouted at me. I rolled my eyes and smiled at her. "I'll be popping in and out occasionally. And I don't believe you've done all the Master/Stranger observation time. It's only been a few days. We can talk more when they are sure I'm not some mind-controlling megalomaniac."

"But it's sooo boring," she whined at me. I saw Amy, staying well away from us, roll her eyes. I chuckled, happy to see the sisters getting along.

"Much of life is," I nodded, feeling no sympathy. She could whine at me when she was trapped in a cell the size of a bathroom stall for months with no food, water, or anything to do. I was half sure my first death had been less me going crazy from my element than from sheer boredom.

"Before you go," Wonder Woman said as she walked up to me. Superman was right beside her. Now that I had expressed the intention to leave, it seemed to have broken what little tension remained. Myrddin was talking to Artoria animatedly. She looked at me for help, but I pretended not to see. Serves you right, you traitor! A few other heroes had approached some of the Family, but a good chunk were leaving. Probably for home. The sun had fully set by this point. "I have a question that needs answering."

"I have a few minutes," I nodded. I wasn't in any rush. I had expected all this to take way longer, and the only thing I had really booked was tickets to a show in the evening. It was barely eleven in the morning in the land down under. My desire to leave was because of all the eyes on me.

Journalists were waiting to descend like a pack of hyenas to a fresh corpse.

"What did you do to me?"

"Huh?" I asked, confused at the accusation amazon levied at me. I looked at Superman, but he nodded as if I should answer her.

"The dreams!" She clarified. Only not, really. "The knowledge! What are you trying to do to me!"

"I repeat my earlier question: Huh?" I was confused. Was she saying I was mastering her? But Dragon Aura isn't even active?

"Ever since you first landed, she's been having dreams." Superman finally explained. "Flashes of memories, not her own. Knowledge about you that she shouldn't have. Amelia says she has eyes in her brain."

"Ah," I nodded in realization. "Insight. Maybe because of a resonance between my Diana and you? Either way, I can't help you. It isn't me doing it."

"What?" The local amazon didn't look too pleased by my words. "Can't or won't?"

"Both," I nodded at the two. I explained more clearly when it looked like Wonder Woman would punch me. "I can't control who gains insight or when. I try to limit people's exposure to my body to avoid situations like this. It is your mind reaching out to a truth your eyes can't understand. Only once it gets that truth, it can't handle it. The only way I can control it slightly is to carve runes, symbols of my language, into your flesh. I doubt you want me to do that to you."

"Is that the only way?" Superman asked worriedly. "And is this a risk to the public?"

"Have Amelia use her powers to replicate the runes on her," I said with a shrug. "She has enough insight that she should be able to do it correctly. As for a risk to the public? No. Now that I have a human body, there shouldn't be any risk of people gaining more insight unless through some sort of medium like my blood or certain rituals. I wasn't exaggerating when I said my pocket dimension protects you more than it protects me."

"That is a load off our minds," Superman nodded. I watched Scathach say something to Cyclops that had the mutant nodding. Perfect. "I do have one more question if you have the time?"

"Shoot," I said as I watched Captain America approach Melina. It was only my years of experience with the woman that allowed me to notice the way that she held herself. She was feeling very awkward. The man was likely thanking her for her healing. Serves her right.

"The beast, Doomsday as you called it, what can you tell me about it? And what is to be done with it?"

"You can ask Diana more about her experience with it," I nodded at the woman. Glory Girl had left us to go meet the newest 'Di.' "To make a long story short, a scientist created it to become the ultimate killing machine. That's where its official name comes from. The Ultimate. Doomsday is just a colloquial name." Superman's eyes widened slightly, but I continued on. "Start by taking a child, throw it on prehistoric krypton, and when it dies, retrieve the remains, clone it with the genetic memories, and throw it back down. Repeat until you have a creature that can survive anything. And if it dies? It will just come back stronger and meaner than before."

"Why did it come to earth?"

"I can't say for sure since there are differences between timelines," I clarified. "If it is the same as Diana's world? Then after killing the scientist who created it, it went on to conquer a bunch of planets, killing all their inhabitants it could. One planet's main species banded together at some point and killed it. Unaware that it could come back to life, they jettisoned it into space, as was their custom. Through happenstance, it landed on earth. It's probably been here a while and just woke up and broke its way free of its coffin."

I left unsaid that Crawler's power had to be a recent addition. Something screwy was going on here.

"When it first appeared, one of its arms was still bound by a steel cable," Superman nodded in remembrance.

"And what's to be done with it? You said it is trying to return to life?" Wonder Woman pressed. For all that she looked the same as my Diana, she was brusquer. Less time in 'man's world' perhaps? "Are you going to leave that blade there? How long will it hold?"

"Leave my sword? Are you crazy? That's just asking for trouble," I said. "Although now that you mention it, that does remind me of something."

I turned from the pair and waived at Glynda, who had been talking to Green Lantern with Robin. They both came over.

"Do you two mind grabbing my weapons?" I asked, letting them know it was time to real in the fish. No way in hell I would leave without my collection.

Even if it was bait.

"Of course," Glynda nodded as she waived her ridding crop. Robin gave a sly smirk at me and held up five fingers.

There was a rush of sound, and multiple people ducked as numerous weapons flew at me. They all flew into the bottomless box, even the largest of weapons squeezing down to fit into the wooden crate the size of my palm.

"Is that all?" I asked rhetorically once the deluge of metal had finished. "I'm missing a few."

"One moment, dear," Glynda said with a smirk. "Some are coming from farther away."

Not even a few seconds later, the last five of my weapons returned to me. They were daggers and shortswords mostly. Easy things to hide. And they weren't alone.

""""MPH""""

Four people struggled fruitlessly in the air, bound by Glynda. None of them were familiar, nor in any sort of uniform.

"Who do we have here?" I asked, even as the heroes gave me a side-eye. More than a few looked like they were ready to step up if need be.

"An agent of SHIELD, AIM, the PRT, and an opportunist who wanted a souvenir," Robin answered my questions as she nodded at all in turn.

SHIELD and the PRT. It must be my birthday. The poor opportunist was crying.

"And this one," I nodded at the weapon that had returned without a passenger. Mytha's Bent Blade was covered in blood.

"An agent of the Hand," Robin said. "He was very… determined to keep hold of the blade. If anyone is interested, I believe his body is in his hideout in Winchester. He was contacting his handler when we took our weapon back, so I would hurry."

The Flash was gone in a flash. I was almost impressed that someone could get that far so quickly. It hadn't been that long since Doomsday had died. They must have picked up the weapon before the fight even ended.

"And you all thought it was a good idea to steal from a dragon," I asked dubiously at the struggling group. Their struggles were redoubled. "I should flay you all for the impertinence." Their struggle stopped.

"Do you mind leaving this to us?" Captain America asked as he approached, looking embarrassed but resigned. "There is no need for such harsh measures."

I knew someone would try and 'save' these people. I had been counting on it when I left my weapons for anyone to grab. Robin had a small eye and ear on every single one of them. I had initially wanted to use them as an example, but the heroes... hero-ness had shifted my plans.

Killing them slowly as an example would solidify my 'don't fuck with me' reputation, but it would also ruin all the good rep I had built.

"I can leave it to you," I nodded agreeably, a smile on my lips. Every one of my wives took a step back from me for some reason. "This time."

"I appreciate it," the good captain looked relieved.

"Diana will tell me what you do with them, anyway," I waived him off while warning him that I wouldn't let this be swept under the rug. I could hold this over their agencies' heads in the future, and it solidified my image as 'benevolent.' "Just one last weapon, then." I said as I turned to the 'corpse' behind me.

"Hold on-" Superman started.

He was cut off by the dying wails of the Dragonlord. Placidusax's ruin rained a golden tide of fire and lightning upon the corpse of Doomsday.

Could I have faced Doomsday?

No. For the same reason why I considered Flash the most dangerous League member, and I wouldn't have let Priscila face him either.

Speed.

While I had no theoretical top speed, Doomsday would have turned me into paste long before I could reach the likes of him, Superman or Diana. I didn't have the stats of a servant like Artoria or Scathach. My 'stats' were superhuman in strength, toughness, dexterity, and the like, but my base speed was only slightly faster than most heroes. I could let him pass through me while I gained momentum, but then what?

To kill Doomsday, you need to kill him conceptually or completely annihilate his body.

Priscilla is the only one of us who could do the former. If I had killed her and fashioned her tail and soul into weapons, I might have been able to do the same with a well-laid trap. But I liked my floofy dragon!

My other option? I had to deal enough damage to instantly vaporize him before he healed. If he was still alive, he would dodge. I wasn't a glass canon, but I also wasn't a nuke. I could output a lot of damage quickly, but not instantaneously.

Golden light bathed the area as I reduced everything about Doomsday to his component atoms. I kept the spell active for over a minute, ensuring not even a drop of blood remained.

When I finally cut off the spell, the titanic corpse was gone. In its place was a crater tens of meters deep. The Godslaying Blade, made from the corpse of the Dragonlord and immune to its breath, was impaled in the ground so far down that I had to squint to see it.

And I had night vision.

A simple flex of gravity magic and the blade returned to my hands.

"That should do it," I said as I sheathed the blade, turning back to the crowd.

One of Glynda's captives was unconscious.

The other three had growing wet spots on their pants.

"That was…" Wonder Woman stuttered, eyes wide and unfocused. "Ruin?"

"More insight?" I blinked at her in surprise. Just how much was she getting from me? Time to get gone. I should look into how I can stop that. "You really need to get that looked at. Nine out of ten doctors say peering into the abyss is bad for you. The tenth doctor is a gibbering madman."

"What?" She asked, eyes coming back into focus and looking at me in confusion.

"That was a joke," I sighed. "I'm going back to my vacation now."

"I thought it was funny," Robin said as she walked beside me. The other women were finishing their conversations and disappearing into the shadows of the night as Raven brought them away.

"Pity laughter is worse than no laughter," I pouted at her.

She giggled as she stepped behind a tree and disappeared.

"Mikael?" Artoria asked, a bit hesitantly. She and Diana were eyeing me, a question in their eyes.

She hadn't added Sir to my name.

"Don't worry," I said, smiling to show I wasn't mad. I really wasn't either. Asking either of them to not be heroes would deny them who they were. I was already happy enough that they had gone along with my whims until now. The pair relaxed. "We'll talk at home. Before that, you have a lot of questions to answer." Their eyes widened as I nodded to the crowd.

A crowd of curious heroes, journalists, and other onlookers. Now that we weren't being subtle, I didn't have to worry about what they would let slip on accident.

"Rejoice!" I said with a smile, my hand folded behind my back as I channelled my best Kirei Kotomine. "You are heroes again!"

I turned, chuckling to myself and stepping towards the shadows myself.

"Elden Lord!" A voice called out from the crowd, but I didn't stop, and he continued to speak hurriedly. "Jimmy Olsen. Daily Planet. What do you intend to-"

"I'll stop you right there. Maybe some other time." I said, not even looking at the man but not speaking harshly. I could respect the balls on the man if nothing else. "I'll have my people call your people."

And with that, I was gone.

Was it petty of me to leave Artoria and Diana to the hyenas after telling them I wasn't mad? Yes, it was.

Did I find it funny? It was fucking hilarious.

Of course, I wasn't laughing when I stepped into Raven's shadow and out the other side.

Instead of emerging in the sun of Australia's outback, I emerged into a room of shadow and mist.

Instead of coming face to face with my big tiddy goth wife, I came face to face with my big tiddy goth wife with four red eyes.

"Finally!" Pride declared with a smirk. "We meet!"

Oh dear.

I was never getting my vacation, was I?