Sitting alone again at the same park bench he has called his ‘base of operations’, our hero was posted up, still, vigilante, and waiting, like a statue. Another day, another mission. Or at least that’s what Plain-Man hoped for. Instead he just sat and scrolled through his phone, wondering why it was so quiet and if the app or his phone wasn’t working properly.

Everything too, at the Nature Park, was quiet and serene as normal with the occasional walker who makes their way through, most of the time passing Plain-Man sitting at his bench. A man passed by and politely offered a ‘good afternoon’ to our hero, who gave him the same as the man walked into the interior of the park and out of sight.

It wasn’t usual for Plain-Man to hit such a dry spell of missions, but occasionally it did happen. Luckily today he wasn’t so desperate for credits to pay his mounting debts and bills after his lucrative ventures with his new buddy, Pigman. Yet, still, when you were in position like Plain-Man where there are no guarantees and your entire livelihood depends on how much effort you put into your work, you needed to make each day count.

Through the gloom and doom of his mind and the deathscroll, there arose a foreign sound to his ear that took the form of a distant voice, barely audible, then heightened into a clamor that filled the public space. Being the hero that he was, Plain-Man instinctually rushed to the source of the commotion without hesitation.

On the other side of the park, he witnessed the same man who greeted him from before storming off from a group of people who were gathered around a picnic table. All around them, homemade signs surrounded the group, with large, painted words that read ‘He knows, you don’t’ and ‘They know more about you than you do you’ and ‘The lamb lies lifeless under the gaze of the bird of prey’ and other such nonsense that Plain-Man didn’t care to continue reading.

Each member wore all black, military-like regalia and stood with either their arms crossed or holding signs, except for one man, who was pacing back and forth in front of the others and speaking.

“…and that is why the common folk have lost their way. Unseen forces drive their psyches with hedonistic calculus contrived by the fat giants of culture in their demonic workshops and printhouses, sucking the lifeforce from every vessel they can get their grubby claws on and relishing on the meager hopes, fears, and dreams they have left. A pity the state so called ‘man’ is in... You, there! Come here if you have a half-mind.”

The preaching man, who had slick back hair and was a bit shorter than the rest of his group, called out to Plain-Man, who looked around to make sure it wasn’t anyone else he could’ve been speaking too. Seeing no one, Plain-Man walked over.

“How can I help?”

“’Help’? Is that going to cost me?” He and other members group broke out laughing.

Plain-Man waited for them to stop, wondering what was so funny.

After they had their chuckle, the preaching man asked, “Tell me, do you know you work for a psychopathic madman who wants to take over the world?”

“…What?” was all Plain-Man could say.

“You. You work for a psychopath who has come to further enslave humanity. You feel alright about that?”

“What do you mean? I don’t work for anyone but those who need my help.”

“Wrong. Still, noble answer.” said the man, “You are under juridical obligation to the Quick! app that serves as a medium for cliental and contractors like yourself. Everything you think, say, or do is recorded and scrutinized by the developers of the application to, not only further optimize their service and technology, but also to further optimize your behaviors and thoughts as well, without your awareness.”

“Are you sure? I feel like I would have noticed or heard about this by now…”

Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

“When you put that little device behind your ear, you forfeit all rights you have to your emotions and memories to those who are versed in profiting on such raw material- “

“But I don’t wear a vybe.” Plain-Man said, pulling out his phone to show the man and the group who was listening to their conversation.

The man with the slick backed hair looked at the phone, then at Plain-Man, and then back to the phone and smiled.

“Maybe I was wrong about you… My name is Roy.” He held out his gloved hand, “How about you?”

Plain-Man, after a second, accepted the shake, and told him his name.

“Plain-Man, huh? Ha! Nice to meet you. Say hi to Plain-Man everyone.” The group, mostly made of men and some hard-looking females wearing berets, exchanged cheerfully greetings with Plain-Man.

He waved and then noticed each had a patch on their left shoulder that read ‘FOIO’ in blue letters.

“So, what sort of group are you guys?” Plain-Man asked, genuinely curious.

“We are FOIO (‘Foe-yo’), or the Freedom of Information Organization, founded in 2024 by the late, great Frank Rosheen who was once our faithful leader and defender of the sensibilities of mankind, until they had to take him out. Everything that we stand up and fight for is because of that man and we hope to one day balance the scales of justice.”

After saying this, he swung his fist to his chest, over his heart, like a salute to the ghost of Frank Rosheen, and the rest of the cadre quickly followed suit.

As Plain-Man listened to Roy speak, he wondered to himself whether the man was a lunatic or really just depressed, deep down inside, or maybe both. Probably the same for the rest of FOIO, he concluded. They seemed removed from society, like they’ve only been in their own presence for so long they’ve mutated into a new species of man, with a completely separate sense of values and perceptions. He wondered how they lived.

Just then, a normal looking man that is a regular at the park approached Plain-Man and the group.

“Hey, you’re the organization that’s trying to save the plasmatides, aren’t you? I sure do admire your cause! Those little plasma creatures are so cute, I can’t imagine anyone could be so cruel to put an end to one those cute things just for mere profit. It’s a travesty.”

“Plasmatides? Are you mental?” Roy said, immediately annoyed, “There’s no such thing as plasmatides! What? Do you believe in Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster, too?”

“Well, I...”

“Look here, have you ever seen a plasmatide in person?”

“Can’t say I have… but my cousin’s wife once said-“

“I don’t care about your cousin’s wife. They don’t exist.”

“What about those cute recordings of them dancing to Verdi?”

“Those were generated by computers, obviously. You can’t believe everything you see coming through your media.” Roy closed his eyes and folded his arms.

“I don’t believe you. You’re… wrong!” the man suddenly got angry, “There’s just no way all those videos of the plasmatides doing adorable things like playing soccer and sunbathing are fake! There’s just no way!”

Saying this, the man dramatically exhaled and stormed off to the other side of the park while the cadre of FOIO broke out into congenial laughter, slapping each other’s backs.

Roy, who laughed the hardest, continued speaking after wiping the tears from his face, “…that was great. I tell you, some people these days… Alright, folks I think that about does it. Let’s pack it up for the day.” He turned and began fanning his people.

Suddenly, an alert from Plain-Man’s phone intruded onto his perception and he automatically responded. A new mission had finally popped up which he immediately accepted.

[Quick! App update: Mission Location – Nature Park – Description: Public Disturbance–see Unknown for more details on request]

“Hmm…” This request must’ve been sent out by that man who just ran away, he thought to himself. He looked up from his phone and noticed the members of FOIO had pretty much packed up their signs and left, all except for Roy who waited patiently to say one last thing to Plain-man.

“Listen, you seem like a nice guy so I want to warn you about something before I go. You need to stay clear Peter Sloan if you know what’s good for you. In fact, get off the app entirely and come join us. We could use a strong personality like you.”

“That’s nice of you to offer, but I like what I’m doing right now.”

“Well, then see you around, Plain-Man” Roy turned around vacated the premises with the rest of them.

Within seconds, Plain-Man was taking out his phone to check on the notification he had just received.

[Quick! App update: Congratulations, You have received 12.00 friendly credits!]

“Sweet. That was easy.”