Emerging from the pastel light-pink front door onto the creaky old porch, Plain-Man wiped the sweat off his brow from under his mask and let out a deep breath of air as Pigman followed behind.
“You didn’t tell me the sofa was going to weigh so much…”
“Now you see why I needed your help. But at least it's finally done.”
Plain-Man sat down on one of the steps and took out his phone to check his credit total.
“Not bad” he said aloud.
Pigman, who was still standing, went into a glassy state.
“I think I might have another mission for us to do together, hold on for a sec.”
“You know, I was wondering,” Plain-Man said, looking up at Pigman, “since I have a phone and all, and I refuse to get one of those vybes, I’m still curious, what’s it like to wear one of those… “
“Remember VR from when we were a kid where you put the goggles over your eyes and you’re taken into a completely separate 3D world? It’s like that, but you don’t need the goggles, because it all takes place in your mind.”
“So it’s like the imagination?”
“Sort of….” Pigman said, obviously distracted enough by his multitasking, “okay, here we go. I got a pretty easy one, if you don’t mind.”
“I’m game. Let’s hear it.”
“Alright, here it is: Every so often, someone in this neighborhood sends out a request to take care of a noise complaint. It’s pretty simple. I’ve taken care of it a couple of times before.”
“Sounds easy enough. Where do we go?”
“Today it looks it’s coming from Maple street… this way.”
Pigman pointed down the street that curved and led further into the suburban neighborhood. The two masked men sauntered down the sidewalk, passing more houses and more front lawns.
“So, what’s causing all the noise?” Plain-Man asked.
“Well, you see it’s the…” Pigman stopped midsentence, “You hear that? Off in the distance?”
Both of them stopped in front a pink flamingo and some garden gnomes that stared at them like silent spirits. Off in the distance, Plain-Man could hear a loud wheezing noise that kept building up in its intensity, then would cut out, only to be picked up seconds later.
“Sounds like… a leaf blower?”
Pigman looked at his masked friend and said, “That’s exactly what it is.” He beckoned for them to continue on.
Following behind, Plain-Man asked “But, I thought leaf blowers were outlawed a long time ago, along with other gardening equipment?”
“They were.”
Plain-Man remained silent, waiting for his friend to continue.
“Okay here’s the deal. Because gardening for a profit was made illegal, let’s just say there are some individuals who were put out of the job and weren’t too happy about the whole thing. Now, occasionally, these former gardeners get a little upset and feel like they still need to make their presence known, so the public can understand what they did to them.”
“You’re saying they’re like some sort of protesters?”
“Kind of… except at this point they’re not looking for any legislative or social change. All they want really now is some friendly points and respect to get them to simmer down.”
The sound of leaf blowers raged louder the closer they got.
“So, we’re going to… bribe them?”
“Basically. The neighborhood at this point has been dealing with this for so long they’ve just outsourced the problem and pulled together a monthly collection that’s enough to keep them quiet for a little while. Then, when that runs out, the Leaf Blowers start up their fussing again, like today.”
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They turned the corner and they could perceive down the street a large green field surrounded by homes on all sides. On the grass, Plain-Man could discern about eight or nine people, most of whom were carrying hoses and had large packs on their backs all except for one guy, who was backing away from the others. Suddenly, he turned and began sprinting away.
One of the leaf blowers chased him from behind, loudly blaring their gardening equipment at the man, until stopping and turning to his compatriots, perceivably giving them a huge belly laugh from his satisfaction. The man ran directly towards Pigman and Plain-Man, arriving in their presence within seconds.
“Pigman! I’m so glad to see you!” The man said, the desperation was apparent through his attempts to catch his breath, “They won’t let up. Something’s different this time. They were this close to beating me up, it felt like.”
“It’s alright John. You go back inside your house and me and my friend right here will take care of it.”
John, the man, looked towards Plain-Man and nodded, sprinting again to the nearest house and within seconds slamming the door.
Pigman began walking towards the field and said behind his shoulder to Plain-Man who was following behind, “Just let me do the talking. You’re just here for hired muscle just in case something were to go wrong.”
Plain-Man watched him approached the group of leaf blowers, who all had suddenly directed their attention to the masked man. Out of hearing range, Pigman held his hands up and was obviously saying something to them, and then pointed to the right side of his head.
The leaf blowers listened to what he said, and then all looked at each other and began laughing. After this, Pigman turned around and returned to Plain-Man.
“Yeah, something’s different today…”
“What do you mean?”
“They said they’re not willing to take the friendly points they’re being offered and go away.”
“So… what do we do now?”
But before Pigman could answer that, Plain-Man noticed the group of leaf blowers were beginning to approach the two of them. They all stared at them with sinister looks on their faces, grinning at some dark humor they all seem to share. Each one revved their equipment, causing a cacophonous disturbance much louder than before.
“I think we have a problem on our hands…”
Suddenly, the leaf blower gang rushed forward at once, with all their nozzles pointed at the masked men. The combine flow of compressed air shooting from their equipment blasted against Pigman, who took a majority of the blow, knocking him off his feet and onto the ground.
Still on the charge, the leaf blowers turned to Plain-Man, who already was backing up and evading the scene. One of the leaf blowers tripped over Pigman, faceplanting onto the asphalt, and didn’t get up, while the others began to chase Plain-Man around, who did his best to stay away.
Pigman was beginning to pick himself up as he screamed, “What the heck you guys doing? Don’t be stupid and just take the friendly points!” They ignored his offer and continued chasing Plain-Man, though were unable to catch up with him. So, they turned back their attention to Pigman who was making the bigger fuss.
While Pigman did his best to withstand the onslaught of motorized air being inflicted on his frame, Plain-Man snuck over to where the fallen leaf blower was and took off his equipment.
“Why can’t you be satisfied with the bribe like before?” Pigman yelled desperately as he did his best to avoid them.
One of the leaf blowers spoke up “We’re sick and tired of being treated like we’re second class citizens. No more pay offs! It will never be enough!” and with that said, he charged Pigman.
Suddenly, from out of his periphery, a large blast of hot air shot across the screaming gardener’s face and rotated his goggles around his head, blocking his vision. Now charging the other gardeners himself, Plain-Man had one of the leaf blowers on his back and relentlessly blasted at the gang, defending Pigman from any further harassment.
“Get back! I said get back!” Plain-Man yelled.
Some of them did, but one or two stepped forward, ready to spare with him. With the end of the metal nozzle, Plain-Man with all his might, brought down the end of the hose on top of the one that was nearest, which caused the gardener to collapse.
The other that followed watched his friend fall and stopped, thinking twice about his next action, but it was too late. From out of nowhere, a punch was thrown by Pigman who had stood up and ran towards the leaf-blower, which caused the gardener to cry out in pain.
“Aye!”
The other leaf blowers hurried over and picked up their fallen friends, dragging them away to the middle of the field, heading towards the entrance/exit of the neighborhood.
“We’ll get you for this!” one of them screamed.
“You haven’t heard from the last of us!” said another.
Plain-Man kept his eyes on the gang until they finally disappeared from sight. Pigman, brushing dirt of his jacket, walked up beside him.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” said Plain-Man, still holding the leaf blower hose, “How about you?”
“I feel a lot better now after getting that punch in…”
“What do you think I should do with this?” Plain-Man asked, indicating the gardening equipment that was still in his possession.
“Keep it. Who knows, it might come in handy someday, though I got a feeling they won’t be coming back, especially after the fight we gave them.”
A sudden blaring of notifications sounds rang from Plain-Man’s pocket. He picked it up and looked.
[Quick! App update: Congratulations, You have received 100.35 friendly credits!]
“Wow! I haven’t received that many credits at once in my entire life!”
“Yeah, because those bozos wouldn’t take the points, that means we get the share. There’s a stipulation in the contract that says such.”
Plain-Man realized then how beneficial it could be to team up with others.
“We got to do this again sometime.”
Both of them shook hands and could almost see the smile under each other’s masks.