Skeeeet!

Tiny rocks flew across the pavement, hitting the shoes of some of the boys who were standing off to the side, watching. The rider wiped the sweat from under his helmet and then, in an instant, had taken off again in the opposite direction. Mounted on his handlebars, a long skinny projectile covered in a bright red Styrofoam protruded forward that he gripped firmly as he zoomed across the parking lot at his opponent. The two met head on, and as they passed, the winner hit the loser on the shoulder and sent him flying on to the asphalt while his e-bike projected forward for about 50 yards before falling too. The kids call this a ‘ghost rider’.

Loud cheering resounded from one side of the parking lot from the joyous young spectators. The group on the other side rushed to the middle to check on their fallen friend, who got up and gave everyone the thumbs up which caused the cheering to increase.

Suddenly a car came bolting around the corner and stopped not too far away from the kids. It revved its electric engines, growling like a neutered animal, and peeled off, taking a sharp turn before getting close to hitting the building. The car continued it’s turning motion and didn’t stop, making a 360 motion over and over again, causing a loud screeching noise to ring out for miles like the sound of a dying thunderbird.

The boys grouped together and cheered some more as they watched the car do continuous doughnuts in front of them.

“Make it spin out!” One of the boys suggested.

Another nodded, and in seconds, it was manifested, as the e-car whipped hard to the left and spun around quickly to a halt, revving its engines some more.

Then another spoke up, “Okay, who’s up next?” The kids competed to be in competition by raising their voices and waving their hands, but in the end the next opponent was chosen by whoever was being the most annoying. They exchanged safety equipment and the group split off, parting to either side of the parking lot as the two kids picked up the bikes. Again they rode at each other, but this time only after a single pass, was the winner declared.

The kids came rushing forward, cheering just as loud as ever, celebrating with their companions, as the boy who won took off his helmet.

“Can nobody defeat me!?” He taunted, and then smiled as he helped the boy who he had beaten up to his feet.

Off in the bushes, two adult figures were squatted out of sight, having a serious discussion about what was occurring.

“This looks like more than just your typical noise complaint and loitering…”

“Maybe the app was a little off with its description, but it doesn’t seem like it would be too hard to handle…”

“Are you serious? These hooligans aren’t going to listen to us, especially since they have no friendly credits to lose.”

Just then, one of the boys yelled.

“Hey! What’s that in the bushes?”

“Yeah, I see them… Is one of them wearing a pig mask?”

All the kids rushed over to where Plain-Man and Pigman were hiding, who quickly jolted up and made themselves visible.

“Alright, show’s over kids. Time to go home. We got some complaints.” Pigman said, stepping forward and addressed the group of youth.

“No way! We just got here!” a boy said.

“Doesn’t matter,” said Plain-Man, “This is private property and you kids can’t just be hanging around here.”

“But we’re here all the time! We haven’t heard anything about this place being private property!” One boy said.

“Yeah, come on!” said another.

Plain-Man shook his head.

“Nope, sorry boys. Time to move out… Hey, who’s in that car?”

Just then, a sudden loud noise came from the e-car as it peeled away from its spot and came zooming towards the two heroes and group of kids. It didn’t show any sign of stopping and even the kids started retreating backwards. Not knowing what to make of it, Plain-Man and Pigman watched cautiously as the car screeched to a halt in front of them, revved its engine a few more times and began doing doughnuts again, except this time, circling around the heroes, basically keeping them trapped in ring of hell.

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

“Are one of you in control of that car?!”

“Maybe!”

“Well, can you make it stop?”

Eeeeeeerrrrr!

“Aw, come on man, we’re just trying to have fun.”

“Yeah, we’re just trying to have fun…”

“I know, I know, but you can’t, at least, not in this parking lot…”

“Hey, I got an idea,” the winner of the last joust spoke up, still with his helmet on, “We’ll promise to leave and never come back here, if…. You can beat me on the bikes!”

All the boys got excited and looked to each other.

“Yeah! That’s a good idea.” And all the kids were in agreeance.

The masked adults looked each other, Pigman at Plain-Man especially, wondering what they’re going to do.

“We don’t have to listen to any of these shenanigans,” Pigman said off to the side.

“Yeah, but honestly it might be easier to just…”

“You’re not actually thinking about doing it, are you?”

“Why not? I can’t think of any other way to enforce the law to these kids…”

“…No way, Plain-Man. Not a good idea…”

“Alright…” turning to the kids, Plain-Man said, “Listen kids, we can’t…” but then he stopped realizing the kid with the helmet on had mounted his bike again and was beginning to gain speed, heading directly at the two masked men, who both had to jump to the side last second.

“Come on, Johnny, get em’!”

Johnny, the e-bike jouster, rolled on for a good distance and then rounded about, heading back to the group for another swipe.

“Got any ideas?” Plain-Man asked Pigman, who in particular had to desperately jump to the side when Johnny came.

“Yeah, I got nothing!”

Without any more words for them to exchange, Plain-Man ran over to the other e-bike that was on its side while Johnny circled around for a third swipe.

Suddenly the kids all got in a frenzy-like state.

“He’s going to do it! He’s going to do it!” They all said excitedly to each other.

“Have you ever ridden one of these before?”

“Yeah, when I was a kid… buts it been a while.” Plain-Man said to Pigman, as he put the helmet over his masked head.

Half of the kids ran to the other side of the parking lot where the other jouster waited while half stayed with Plain-Man to act as his support.

“You can do this man!” one said.

“Yeah, kick his butt, mask dude!”

Pigman leaned closer to Plain-Man.

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

Just then from the other side of the parking lot, “Ready when you are!”

Plain-Man gave one final look to his partner as he raced off to meet his opponent in the middle, gripping tightly his lance. Johnny the kid zoomed off too and the two headed directly at each other, gaining top speeds. Within seconds, they were within yards of one another, passing quickly without any contact. After looking over his shoulder, Plain-Man had to hastily brake his bike as he headed straight at the group of kids who yelled and pointed in the opposite direction encouraging him to get a move on. He circled around as did his opponent, and again they darted at the other, again missing.

“Ah, come on, Johnny! Get this guy!”

On the other side, “Let’s go...! what’s his name again?” one of the boys asked Pigman.

“Plain-Man…”

“Yeah! Let’s go Plain-Man!”

He looked at the faces of the boys who were cheering him on his side and they seem to be genuinely having a good time.

“At least they’re happy… but it’s time we finished this!”

He sped off again, heading directly at Johnny without hesitation. This time however, Johnny got him, only barely, skimming his shoulder, though both still remained on the bike.

“Yeah! You almost got him, Johnny!”

“One more time! One more time! Then he’s toast!”

The two jousters approached their opposing sides slowly, preparing themselves for one last all-or-nothing effort to knock the other one off.

They spun around at the same time and with as much speed as they could, hurtled across the asphalt without hesitation. Then, bash!

Hit square in the chest, Johnny fell from his bike, onto the parking lot, as Plain-Man zoomed on by. All the boys began screaming their heads off in excite, which brought a smile to Plain-Man’s face, until he realized he was heading straight into a wall.

He tried braking completely, but it was too late, and he had jump before the bike ran directly into the bricks, the tire bouncing off.

Still, the kids celebrated and ran to help Plain-Man to his feet, bringing him to the middle where the other kids were. Johnny was picked up from the ground too and rubbed his head before seeing Plain-Man, smiling, and holding his hand out.

“I have to admit, that was a good swipe!”

Plain-Man accepted the shake and all the kids cheered. The e-car then jolted forward and began doing celebratory doughnuts.

“Alright, you kids remember the deal… hey, who’s controlling that thing, anyways?”

“Oh, that’s Fred. He’s a master hacker.” Johnny said, who had his arms crossed but then pointed to a kid a little younger than him with glasses.

“Yeah, I can tell… Hey Fred, that’s mighty impressive you can do that, but how about we stop for now?”

Fred looked unknowingly at him and then grinned, “Okay, Plain-Man whatever you say!”

The car came to an abrupt stop, and as if another spirit had taken it over, slowly drove away, out of the parking lot.

Pigman walked over to his partner, “Well, hopefully that takes care of that…”

Plain-Man nodded his head, “So, you kids going to head on out?”

Suddenly some of the kids started clamoring.

“Joust with me Plain-Man!”

“No! I want to go against Plain-Man next!”

“No! I’m next!”

The man in the Pig mask looked over at Plain-Man, and though he couldn’t see his face, he knew he was giving him a dirty look.

“I know…”