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Prank 21: NSA and waterboarding

Prank 21: NSA and waterboarding

Penny was wandering what to do for the rest of the day, when her doorbell was pushed and there was this strange YEEE-HAW sound instead of a normal melody or even ding-dong sound.

-Who programs their doorbell to sound like a cowboy? I have to reprogram it for the sake of my ears. COMING!-

She went down the stairs and through the shop to the front door. When she opened it, on the other side waiting for her the NSA agent she pulled the prank on. Penny remembered what A.I.C.A. had said to her and didn’t panic at his presence. She looked him from head to toe and back again.

-You look like a government employee. Are you here from the patent office? No, they don’t have a reason to send someone. Who are you and whom do you work for?-

-Ahem, I was just about to introduce myself. Hello, I am agent Thompson from the NSA and I am hero to ask you a few questions.-

-You sure you are from the NSA? Don’t you agent types usually walk in pairs? Unless… you are not here on official business? Eh, whatever, come on in. What can I get you to drink?-

-Coffee, one spoon of sugar no milk.-

They slowly walked around the prank shop and up the stairs to the loft. Penny left the agent in the living room and went into the kitchen to prepare the coffee. When she got back, the agent was snooping around.

-Ahem, here is your coffee. Now, what did you want to ask me?-

The agent stopped, looked at her, then the coffee and sat down again. He drank a mouthful and then told Penny why he was here.

-A while ago, a criminal broke in my apartment while I was asleep and planted 2 contact lenses in my eyes, before leaving without a trace. The contacts were high tech, with AR capabilities and so thin I didn’t even feel them. Now I am visiting everyone with AR patents that come even close to that level of technology.-

-By the sound of it, I could speculate that it would be made by thin transparent material. Glass is hard to work with if it is so thin, so I would guess several layers of graphene stacked together and between them the circuits. The human eye sees by allowing light through the retina, so the display would have been several millimeters at the most. There is no way to cram any kind of high resolution on something so small, so I would say the images that are being projected would not be with high graphic quality. For anything more, you will need to have a massive breakthrough in image technology. The rest of the lens was probably used to store a miniaturized battery. It would be hard to come up with something like that with present day technological level, but not impossible. If you show me the lenses and allow me to study them I could tell you more about them, but based on speculation that is I could tell you.-

-So you are saying you could create something like that?-

-Of course I can. I would have to sink a few million in R&D borrow a few patents and spend maybe a year in research, but it is possible. The question is, is it worth it? We are just starting to find our way in the AR glasses market, is there a reason for us to rush AR lenses research?-

-Thank you for answering my questions and for the coffee. I will be going now.-

The agent stood up and left the room, followed by Penny. She accompanied him to the door then said goodbye. When she was sure he was far enough to not see or hear her, Penny closed the door and went to her lab.

-That was way less scary than I thought It would be, which is strange. A.I.C.A. I want you to sweep the entire house and the surroundings for listening and recording devises. Also to be a little paranoid about it, start tracking satellites moving close to our position.-

-Penny, I think the reason you weren’t scared of your encounter with the agent is that you don’t fear the consequences of your actions. Even if you are found out and arrested for them, you could teleport away and create a new identity for yourself and start a new life somewhere else. The only possible thing I could think that could scare you about the situation is if you could take Jenny with you when you run away.-

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As A.I.C.A. started a sweep of the building, Penny started thinking about what she just said. She didn’t fear the consequences of her actions. But thinking a little more deeply about it, she should. If she got caught she indeed could escape without a problem, but she could lose her company and there was a possibility of losing what she had with Jenny and that… that could be very scary. Fortunately the secret plans she was working on could eliminate one of her fears as for the other, only time could tell.

For the rest of the day Penny played video games and took online courses, while A.I.C.A. was looking for bugs. In the end she didn’t find any and Penny went to bed relieved that she wasn’t yet part of an investigation. She still asked her AIs to keep an eye out for any changes in the agencies she was monitoring.

The next day Penny was again in the patent office to submit the components of and the game console itself. She waited for her turn and when it came she walked to the clerk on duty. It was someone familiar a girl she had seen the previous times she as here.

-You again? Just how many things can someone invent in a single month? You are what, a gopher for some big company or something?-

-Something like that. I am here to submit patents for a number of components and an image patent for a game console.-

-Well, you already know the procedure, so get on with it.-

While filling forms and finishing the procedures for submitting her patents, Penny was also planning her next date with Jenny. She had already checked the weather prognosis for Friday with scientific and magical means and both were predicting a sunny day with over 90% certainty, so she decided that they could go to a water park and have some fun there for the entire day.

Penny was back home and continuing developing her plans. She wasn’t going to bring food this time, because they would find a place in the water park to eat. She did plan to bring drinks and just in case a stamina potion she would get from Skyrim or some other game with them like Diablo. She had to test to see which of them tasted the best, because she wasn’t planning on feeding Jenny something bitter or tasting like spider legs or something equally or more disgusting. She also had to find an appropriate bathing suit to print for their date and modify it to fit Jenny exactly.

For the next few days Penny continued testing the game console with different games from other consoles and PC titles, studying and planning for the date. When the day arrived, she was nervous, but ready and her backpack was prepared and on her shoulders, before she went out the door and to Jenny’s house.

The first part of the date was similar to last time, she arrived at Jenny’s home, took her scooter and together rode to the water park. In the water park, things progressed differently than last time. I mean come on, it is a water park, not an amusement park! Of course things will be different. Penny took out of her backpack a swim suit and not a bathing suit, as The Author mistakenly wrote, and gave it to Jenny so she could change into it, while she went to another stall and changed into hers.

When Penny and Jenny finished changing, Penny took out from her backpack small orange floaties for the arms and big ducky floatie that she put around Jenny’s waist, after which she put some on her arms and a pirate ducky floatie for her waist. She used a canister of compressed gas to inflate them and led Jenny to the nearest pool.

-So, a ducky floatie and a pirate ducky floatie? Just to let you know, next time I want a unicorn one or a donut, yea a bitten donut would look good around my waist.-

-Hey, how could I have known you don’t like ducky floaties? But okay, next time I will take a donut and I will wear the shark that took a bite from the donut. Now we just need to have fun.-

Penny and Jenny swam for a while, bough ice cream and ate it, then rested after the meal. Not because they could drown if they swam after eating such a light meal, not with their floaties and that about food being mostly a myth, but because they decided to sunbath for a little. Penny took out sunblock from her backpack and carefully applied it one Jenny, who later did the same for Penny. They lay on a couple of towels and took their time resting, sunbathing and maybe taking a little nap.

After finishing their rest, the two went to the water slides and waited in line, while having an animated conversation about their childhood. When Jenny and Penny arrived at the top, Jenny unscrupulously pushed Penny in the tube, before jumping into it herself. By the time they both arrived at the bottom and splashing in the pool, they were both laughing and screaming in equal amounts.

The two continued to have fun and at some point Penny did have to give Jenny the stamina potion, which made her act as a little kid hopped on sugar, meaning hyperactive and full of excess energy, which they used up in a swimming pool in which they ran a couple of laps. Later in the day, they visited an indoor wave pool and spend hours learning and then doing waterboarding. Not the torture, but the sport. Or is it called something else?

At the end of the day, Penny took Jenny to a candle dinner in a fancy-shmancy restaurant, before taking Jenny back home and planting her the biggest kiss she had, until now. Then she rode her scooter back home and tiredly went to sleep with another goofy smile plastered on her face. She was happy with her current life.