“Who did the landscaping, man?” I ask.

I look around, and this is really quite a place. Looks like this hut is about 15 foot square. Less than 3 of me laying down. Close enough. Somebody cut 4 palm trees at about 10 feet tall, just big ole round posts, with the bark scrubbed off, each about a foot thick. My size 14 foot is about a foot long, so I’ve got real good comparison there. Though I’ve always wondered how folks with little feet measure feet. I mean length-feet. I bet that’s confusing for everyone else.

For this bungalow, they took some more of the palm logs, tied them together with leaves or grass, and made a 4-corner-post open bungalow. Leaf or grass roof. Looks more like leaves. Could be grass, but then those are some big blades of grass. Floor is hard, chocolate colored dirt. Soft enough it doesn’t hurt your hands unless you fall out of bed, but hard enough not to sink any way I can notice when I sit or step. Maybe it’s clay-heavy? Looks like if we added sand, Alec should be serving big Coconuts full of alcohol and colorful umbrellas. Wait. Is his sister a coconut?

I’ve got a Twin XL lookin’ mattress, which is what I sleep on at home. Why’s it called XL anyhow? Only short folks under six foot fit on the little Twins without their toes hanging off. The bed has white sheets and blanket, and two pillows on a 4-poster frame with posts a bit taller than me. Posts are almost thin enough to wrap my hand around, but I got big hands. My grandma got me custom gloves one year, and we measured my hands as 9 inch length, and 10 and a half span. I mean, that's not hoopster hands, but it's good enough for a drummer.

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

The bed has a heavy looking safari-canvas-colored cloth over the top. Not down to the floors, just the top foot or so. Bed’s a little off center towards a corner, and the mattress top is about 2 feet off the ground. And now that I’ve got my kit, it’s positioned so that I can throw a leg over my stool, and start jammin. Or I can roll off the other side, if I need to.

Around my square hut, there’s a big circle of pretty manicured looking lawn. It's really pretty. Like something that President Cortez would play golf on. It’s about a basketball court length from the edge of my bungalow to the jungle. And when I look around, the lawn looks close to circular.

The jungle? It’s green. Looks kinda like that time we got a gig in Hawaii, and spent a couple days in the tropical rainforest over there. Trees run up way high; 50 feet? 100? I dunno, but there’s a lot of them. Trees. Bushes. Flowers in yellows and reds and purples. Pretty lush. Maybe there’s some paths into the jungle, but from here I can’t see if they’re real, or if they go anywhere at all.

Tall, green, and leafy answers, “The landscaping was built into the fabric of the subdimension. Everyone who transfers gets their own place that looks almost exactly like this. Slightly different sizes of bed for different people."

“Do you have to mow the lawn? Wait. Is that offensive to your plant-cousins, man”

“I am an artificial construct shaped like a plant. No offense taken on behalf of any vegetation. This lawn is engineered to stay at this size. Much like we’ve engineered the environment to have no bugs on the lawn, we’ve also ensured that the grass will stay looking pristine for the month you’re here. In any case, Kevin, are you ready to learn more about your new world?"