If I’m going monkey hunting, I’ve got to be a lot better than I am with the sticks. I guess it’s time to see how the head coach can help. I scrounge up the other 7 escrima sticks, drop those in my pocket, and leave 3 in my hands. Uhh, hands and tail.

Okay, where do I start? No magic answer. I guess I’ll try what I was doing. I’ll practice the Taiko set a bit again. I start in, and the rhythm feels good. Even with the tail that I’m still learning. Bigger swings than most of what you do on a normal kit, and it has to be with sticks this big and heavy. I’m using heavy wood, that’s almost twice as big around, and about a foot longer than normal drumsticks. Means it’s gotta weigh like ten times as much as normal. You just can’t do the same wrist bounce.

As I’m swinging, and feeling the rhythm in the beat, I’m trying to find my new mental escrima instructor. Takes 7 minutes and thirteen seconds, and then BOOM.

Wrong! Fighting is not drumming! They weren’t words, really, but a realization from a part of me that’s not me. I’ve been learning to swing sticks, but I haven’t actually swung sticks for fighting. It’s as different as swinging my arm to throw a frisbee, and swinging my arm to backhand someone. Most parts of the motion are the same, but how you put them together and where the attention is on each movement are completely different.

Even holding the damn stick is different. I’ve been leaning towards a German grip on both hands with these big escrima sticks, but I’m supposed to use a fist grip instead? And not balanced. Hold near the end. Okay, so position the hand like this. Fingers here. Well, for now. There are options as soon as I start. But start here. One fist from the bottom. Thumb wrapping around. This is so weird, trying to be my own sensei. The mind knows, but the body doesn’t.

Okay, so next, I’m supposed to practice basic strikes. There’s like twelve of them. So weird to know this. Practice until it’s automatic. And it’ll probably hurt. It will definitely hurt!

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Get into a stance. Sticks behind head. Swing one stick down. Big circle to under the opposite arm. Twist. Wrong. Swing back up. Circle, untwist back to stance. Wrong. Slower. Again, same motion. Down. Wrong. Not 2 motions. One motion. Back up. And again.

An hour and three minutes later, I’m sore and sweating, and I’ve adjusted my grip roughly 382 times. I’ve done the same move about a thousand times, and the complaints are getting more specific. Where do I put my weight. I’m not swinging like I mean it. Took 20 minutes to name the coach after the drill instructor who became our keyboardist, but it fits. Super effective asshole.

I need to relax. What do folks do to relax in this bungalow? I know! Because I’ve got to hunt some monkeys, I set a 90 minute timer. Then I dive back into my 5-part rhythm.

30 minutes of echolocation. 1 hour of escrima, 90 minutes of drums. At least half my life is good. A day passes quickly. And then two. Amazing how much of this art … coach calls it Kali … is footwork and balance. The echolocation is still weird. I have to make noise to find stuff, and it’s another thing to concentrate on. But by the end of day 2, I not only know that something is all up in my grill even blindfolded, but roughly what direction it is in. Huge win. But different sounds give different results. High pitches, low pitches, short, long, mouth clicks, drum beats. Snares and cymbals are the hardest, though a quick high-hat isn’t bad. More practice needed.

Head Coach Phuc has me doing endurance work too. I fookin’ hate jogging. And he’s started incorporating my tail into the exercises. Hard big swings from the back and surprise pokes are very different than arm strikes, and I’m still getting used to the limb.

My echolocation isn’t able to be used very much yet. General direction doesn’t help much with hitting things or dodging.

In another couple days, I’m going to have to start hitting real things. Head Coach P says that wood isn't the easiest thing to hit, And the plants are too soft. Have to start thinking about that.

I’m kinda exhausted from all this work. Learning to echo-see, learning to hit things, and I’m spending like 12 hours a day getting exhausted. Brain and body are going to melt. Taking a break...I’ll drum for the next several hours before starting in again.