Everything moved too fast to track after I released the spirit from Balbinus’s body. He stared at me, confused, as I offered a hand to him and helped him off of the hand. Behind me, Apis scrambled forward, throwing the tear the last little distance. I stopped for a moment to stare as it nestled into the statue’s hand, weighing it down just enough for the entire arm to rotate downwards.

I saw Apis turn and stare first. I followed his gaze, staring myself as I realized where the entrance to the next section was. The door that opened wasn’t where the axe-woman had been camping, underneath the tentacles.

The statue’s mouth was opening. In between her teeth was a tunnel just large enough for a Duran-sized teenager to crawl easily or a middle-aged woman to crawl uneasily.

For a moment, my hands loosened on the sword. I looked up to the top of Teuthida’s head, where the body of Camilla still crouched, a knife held in her hands and a nasty smile on her face. “You have got to be kidding me.”

Balbinus was still holding onto my elbow, stance unsteady. “I-“

“Right,” I said. “Why would it be easy? Why would it be a nice door? No. Of course I have to be eaten by the goddess. Of course!”

The more time I spent inside of this temple, the more I liked Andrena. Yes, she was overbearing, liked bees too much, and kept trying to take over my body. But she hadn’t yet tried to eat me.

Apis had gotten good at moving along the statue. As I watched, he scrambled along the arm and up towards the mouth. Camilla moved forward, lifting the knife in threat.

Well. I couldn’t let him get stabbed now, after we’d almost won. “Duran!” I said. I couldn’t see where he was. I really hoped he hadn’t fallen. Sure enough, at my shout, his head popped out from behind the statue. “We’re leaving. Get close to me.”

Balbinus in tow, I clustered as close as I could to Apis. It was an uncomfortable, awkward climb up unto Teuthida’s mouth. I clambered up onto one of her shoulders and held the sword up. Camilla must have seen what happened when I sliced the other ghost with it- the thing possessing her body stayed well away from the point of the sword.

I was very thankful for it. I had a big sword, but no technique. The more fear, the better. “That’s right,” I said, waving it vaguely. “There’s more where that came from.”

As I threatened Camilla, the others were crawling through the tunnel. Duran disappeared first, then Balbinus. Finally Apis hesitated, looking down the statue. Vita was out of sight and Domitus was probably still hiding behind that tree. It was the smart thing to do, at least. “Move,” I said.

“But-”

I sighed. “Vita’s probably going to get double-blessed for being self-sacrificing. Are you going to ruin her efforts?”

Apis clearly didn’t believe that, but he was also practical at heart. He gave one last look over his shoulder before ducking down and crawling through Teuthida’s throat. That left me staring down Camilla’s body, knife and all.

“Well,” I said. “This has been fun. I’m going to leave.”

She didn’t say anything. I backed into the open mouth of Teuthida, as slowly as I could manage. “You’re going to follow me, I suppose,” I said, into the echoing stone passage. I didn’t like backing into it- I felt double clumsy that way- but I wanted to keep my sword out as long as I could.

She still didn’t reply. I stopped talking quickly enough. Crawling was hard enough. Crawling backwards should have earned me a medal of some sort. My knees would be complaining for years.

And we don’t have any of the supplies. I stopped midway through, cursing myself. This was why I didn’t go on adventures! “Those were my nice spices,” I told the sword.

It didn’t respond. Behind me, I heard Apis’s voice echoing. “Elysia?”

“Coming!”

The rest of the way was even more miserable, a winding passage that seemed to spiral downwards endlessly. I couldn’t help but catalogue all of the supplies gone. Had the axe-woman stolen them?

I needed to train with the sword. That way, next time I saw her, I would get my pepper back. No mercy.

When I finally stumbled out of the passage, three pairs of hands all reached out to steady me. I batted them away. “Is there a way to close this thing?”

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I had emerged into what looked like a storage closet, although the outer walls and inner walls were curved, making it obviously part of a ring. It was a tiny room full of broken down, stacked, and dusty furniture. There was a light coming from gas lamps, but overall it was dim, cluttered, and sneeze inducing. I waved some away from my nose and tried to let my eyes adjust.

It was Apis that pointed to something behind my left elbow. I turned too quickly, nearly overbalancing myself. As soon as I saw a big lever sticking out from the wall, I grabbed it and pulled downwards without considering what it would do.

We heard nothing. I hesitated, then pulled it down even further. Just in case it hadn’t seated properly.

“Maybe it’s just well oiled,” offered Duran. He had clustered close to the tunnel exit, although he didn’t have much choice. The amount of standing room here was small enough that we could all have touched elbows. Why did they have so much broken furniture in this temple? Why had they put it all here?

This part of the temple contrasted severely with the other sections. The others had been austere, cold. This was warm and clearly unplanned. Almost chaotic. I got the sense they hadn’t quite finished this section. Maybe they had run out of funding?

“Someone could go up and check if it’s closed properly,” I said.

No one volunteered. Suddenly every piece of ceiling tile was incredibly interesting, from where they were looking. Being a paladin was a terrible responsibility, I decided. I sighed. “Fine. I’ll go check.”

“Will you?” said Apis. “We’ll check the rest of the rooms and meet back here.”

I scanned their faces, then folded my arms. “Absolutely not. You’re going to stay right here. Anyone that puts a foot out of line is going to endure my severe disappointment.”

“But-“

“I’ve already lost you once today,” I said. “If I have to fight someone else, I’ll lose it.”

The second time climbing up the tunnel was twice as miserable. Still, it was worth it when, lungs burning and knees aching, I put a hand up and slammed my knuckles against solid stone. Twice, then three times. I couldn’t even hear anything on the other side.

“Nothing,” I declared, when I was finally free and coughing up the rest of the dust. “We’re done. They’re stuck on the other side.” I specifically didn’t think of the way we’d gotten across to the previous section. There couldn’t be that many shortcuts. If we kept this closed… “Still,” I said. “Let’s move.”

We had to keep close as we moved around the giant piles of furniture piled up in the center of the room. I spotted what looked like a cradle on top of a rocking chair with squids for armrests, all on top of what looked like a massive dining table out of mahogony.

I gave one piece an experimental poke. The entire pile wobbled, and we all jumped back. Right. Lesson learned. “Let’s just choose a door,” I said.

The room had three doors, one for each wall that didn’t have a tunnel. The one directly across from the tunnel was locked, with an ostentatious squid-shaped lock. The other doors (the ones in flat walls, not curved ones) opened easily.

Both of them opened into small rooms that were also full of piles of junk, with an inner door that was locked, although there was no tunnel entrance in either.

“You have to be kidding me,” I said. “Armor?”

It was all dented and rusted. I left the door open and stepped into the room to the right, picking up a piece of plate mail. It had been made for a man easily twice my size and with the dimensions of a brick wall. As I moved it in the light, the squid looked like it was winking at me.

“It could be a good soup pot,” offered Duran.

I nearly rejected it- who wanted old sweat in their soup?- until I realized how low I had been brought. “It’s better than nothing,” I admitted.

Across from us, the pile shifted. For a second, it clattered like it was going to fall. We all held our breath. Then Apis popped out from behind the pile with a big smile on his face, eyes sparkling. He clicked his fingers and thumbs together like a crab.

“I found gauntlets!”

“Any chance of a shield to go with them?”

He shook his head. “They’re pretty good,” he offered. “Don’t know why they were stuck in here.”

I glanced over my shoulder. “Balbinus?”

Our fourth, unplanned, member was dragging behind. He was still standing in the doorway, staring out into space with a depressed look on his face.

“It wasn’t me,” he said. “None of that. I didn’t-”

“Yes,” I said. “We’re sorting through trash. Care to find anything?”

He shook his head vehemently. “It’s a test. Of your self-denial. You must not-”

Duran’s voice echoed as he popped up, helmet on. “This one’s got horns on!”

Sure enough, it was one of the old northern style, helmets and all. “Maybe not,” I said. “It’s not your size.”

It was twice the size of his head, wobbling as he moved. Still, he seemed reluctant to let go of it. “What if I need it?”

Balbinus had taken another step backwards, eyes wide. I rolled my eyes. “You don’t have to take anything. But we aren’t here for Teuthida anyway. What does it matter?”

At this point, I wanted whatever protection I could manage. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem like most armor was made for a heavyset and short middle-aged woman. Even as I sorted through the garbage pile, nothing popped out.

Eventually, I gave up and put the “soup-pot” plate under my arm so we could move to the next room. “Maybe the next one will have weapons,” I said. I was getting tired of the Abyssal Blade being our best weapon. Or a key. That had to be the test this time- to find the key first and get into the final test.

If I was lucky, Durandus would be in this section and I wouldn’t have to bother with the last part. This whole temple business was getting old.

I cleared my throat. In the absence of direction, they had all gone back to searching through the pile. Except for Balbinus, of course, who was still looking anxiously at me. “Everyone, onwards!”

Duran kept the helmet on as he pulled the next door open. Sure enough, there was another pile of junk. It had more furniture. As we stepped in, however, I squinted. There looked like there was smoke here.

“Everyone, slow down,” I said. “There might be a-”

“Fire? I certainly hope not.”

An old woman’s voice. Leaving everyone else in the doorway, I stepped forward until I could see where it was coming from. The woman had receded into the chair, more of a pile of bones than a person. Yet she had managed to hold onto her pipe, and when she looked down at me, her smile was real.

“Well, well, well. I haven’t seen that sword in many years.”