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Paladins of the Pickle Goddess
20. The Calming of Teuthida

20. The Calming of Teuthida

Loaded up with as many supplies as I could carry, I kicked furiously upwards, eyes wide open. There was no sign of a ghost in the water. Just darkness and a few bubbles. I thought I saw something gleaming above me.

Bright- too bright to be a lantern, too large. I felt myself doubting even as my heart nearly burst out of my chest. Duran had gone first.

I followed after him, legs working furiously. I was nearly out of air.

I reached up, up- and my hand tangled into something. Dark spots above me. What was that? I pulled back, horrified. A root? Something muddy?

I pushed it aside. Pain had turned into panic. There wasn’t much air left. I could feel the water rippling as Apis swam up below me.

When I broke through, gasping, it was into a beam of light. I rubbed the water out of my eyes and smacked whatever was in my way aside. A lilypad? This was a temple. How could it grow? With what nutrients?

My eyes were stinging in the light. I squinted up- and up.

A skylight.

Nothing fancy. Just a long, narrow pane of glass above us. Too far to climb, probably. It was surrounded by a few trees clinging to the edges of a wide canal of water. The canal itself was past overgrown and more of a marsh. I spotted more green than blue, which was bemusing.

How did any of it survive, this far north? Besides, weren’t they shallow-water plants? I had been swimming for ages.

When I looked behind me, it was at a relatively open part of the water. After a few minutes, Apis popped out, gasping. “Duran?”

Oh. Right. I glanced forward. There, in front of me. Underneath a stunted tree, Duran was trying to drain his boots of water, one foot still in the water. He waved at me.

“Don’t stick anything in the water,” I called out. “What if something in there bites you?”

“You’re still swimming in it, Madame Elysia! Aren’t you scared, too?”

He had a point. I started heading towards shore.

It seemed that the width of this canal took up a significant part of the temple; when I finally pulled myself out onto the dirt bank, ungainly as I was, I estimated it was wide enough to fit two carts end-to-end.

“So,” I said. “Vita was right.”

“You made it!”

I turned. A little too quickly. Whatever expression I had on my face, it must have been unkind. I saw Camilla step back a little bit. They had clustered near the walls.

I was sitting on dirt, but it made me think of a garden bed; the dirt was surrounded by retaining walls of stone that went all the way down to the bottom of the canal, and where Camilla was attempting to escape me, the stone resumed to form the wall. Columns and arches with rough detailing had even been added, presumably because the artist of the statues before had been bored after all of the work on the maze.

Unfortunately, I didn’t see a door. The only details added between the arches were garden boxes, like the type people kept under their windows in apartments. A few flowers still bloomed, even out of season like this.

Camilla was failing to hide between the flowers.

“What do you have to say for yourselves?”

I folded my arms. I looked in between the three fools that had abandoned us. Gnaeus, the one I was angriest at, stepped in front of his harp like he might protect it. He gulped. I didn’t back down.

“It looked like Apis had it in hand,” said Camilla. Dripping, recently emerged from the water herself, she didn’t look nearly as impressive as she once had. I was reminded of those fancy dogs that lost most of their body mass once they were forced into the rain. “We didn’t want to waste time and lose our chance if the grate got blocked again.”

I squinted between her and the other secretary. “Of course. Apis was capable of saving my life. You didn’t need to supervise at all.”

“You haven’t even looked around,” interrupted the other secretary. “We needed to check. What if the others were here? We’d already lost them.”

“I told you that your councilman was in the maze,” I said. “What, you were so eager to do his paperwork that you were willing to leave me for the squid?”

“There’s no squid in that water. They only live in the sea.”

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“Perhaps a song is what is needed,” said Gnaeus. He smiled at me. “I have just the tune. It’s a hymn for the Calming of Teuthida. It will bring us all together after the, uh, unfortunate mistakes of my companions.”

He stared over my shoulder at Apis, who was still trying to dry his tunic. Our backpacks were stacked next to him.

I pretended to consider the offer. Duran gave up on his boots and put them back on, squishing over to me. “At least there are trees again,” he offered. “Can we eat any of this?”

I frowned, gazing first up at the skylight and then over at the plants. He was right. If the angle of the light was right, we were running out of time on yet another day. Two days in this temple, and we still had made no progress.

“Some of them might be edible, if we were able to make a fire,” I admitted. I leaned over the canal and rubbed some of the leaves in between my fingers. I didn’t typically do this… wilderness survival thing. “I think this is watermillfoil,” I said. “Maybe?” I ran my hands over a few more plants. I thought a couple of the garden beds had some plants I recognized, too; I spotted what looked like radishes popping out of the soil, and a few peas were waving in the wind. Someone was trying to give the souls exploring this temple a fighting chance. “Why don’t you go check the garden beds,” I said, pushing myself off and brushing the soil off of my knees. “I think I see some mushrooms.”

They were on the side of the tree, looking ready to pick. I could feel my stomach grumbling already. Perhaps this would turn out well, after all.

Hopefully Apis’s plan kept our wood dry. I glanced over at him. He was kneeling on the ground, carefully unwrapping the packs. We’d all donated every extra piece of clothing we owned, wrapping it in layers and layers.

I watched his face. A wince. A grimace. Then, a spark of hope.

“Tell me the truth.”

He rocked back on his heels. “We might have something that’s dry.” He pulled out a single stick from the inside. “Everything else is… damp.”

I glanced up. The sky was darkening rapidly. “I’ll figure something out, if you’ll deal with the fire.”

Next to me, Camilla stepped up. “I was thinking we might share a fire,” she offered. “Since-“

I turned away from her, heading towards the tree. She’d left me for dead! She hadn’t earned fried mushrooms.

Behind me, ignorning the conversation, Gnaeus had started strumming. I winced. It sounded like someone was dying and pleading for mercy. How was he somehow out of tune and out of rhythm?

O Teuthida, you’ve seen our hearts,

But you’ve missed all of our other arts,

We can answer any riddle that may vex,

Or free you from a fisherman’s nets,

Or the greatest art in any hall, to see no truth at all!

O Teuthida, you’ve seen the truth,

But for each folly of youth,

There is the wisdom of a learned sage,

A whim that can cure your-

“That’s enough,” I said. “I’m not being calmed. Neither is Teuthida. I have to concentrate if we’re not going to be poisoned.”

They looked like edible mushrooms. I crouched down and inspected them from every angle, trying to make the most of the light. They were growing on a tree stump, away from the water. I poked one, trying to inspect the gills.

“I just think we might have gotten off to the wrong start,” said Camilla, crouching next to me. I yelped and nearly toppled over.

“You’re worse than Duran!” I squinted over my shoulder. He was somewhere beyond my sight, inspecting the garden beds. Hopefully he was just picking some peas. I shuddered. Left on his own…

“I only want to do my best,” she continued. “You seem to be very motivated. I don’t see why we can’t work together.”

“You didn’t want to work together until you saw we had dry firewood.” I picked some mushrooms, then sniffed them. Edible. Definitely edible. I was… pretty sure.

I glanced over at her. “Actually, you know what? You can eat with us. On one condition.”

“Oh?”

“You’ll try the mushrooms first,” I said. “Call it a test of your bravery.”

She didn’t even hesitate before she nodded. “I’m sure it’ll be better than stale bread.”

As it turned out, we needed to send Duran up a tree for some dry limbs and twigs to help get the fire started, and even then it took a good two hours before we even got a smouldering excuse for embers started. It was more smoke than fire, resulting in a coughing, miserable mess.

I was still damp, and getting hungrier by the moment. I wasn’t willing to wait for a proper flame. I shoved the pan over the smouldering wood and tossed the mushrooms in with some oil, a radish, and the preserved fish from the other room.

“What recipe are you following, Madame Elysia?”

Duran was hunched next to me, uncaring about the smoke. Oh, to be young and have strong eyes again. I reached up and waved it out of my face again, eyes watering. Gnaeus had started playing the harp again. At this point, I was willing to accept it. Maybe it would prevent the ghost from coming back.

“No recipe,” I said. “It would have been better if you’d brought back peas.”

“They weren’t ready yet!”

I pushed the cubed radish around in the pan. Duran’s job had been to cut it up. He’d actually done a very good job. The knives had been a good gift. “Well, nature is out of my hands.”

I coughed in the smoke again. Apis, next to me, knelt and tried to blow on the fire to kindle it.

It died.

I stared at the mushrooms and turnips in the pan. The preserved fish stared back at me, single eye still glossy black.

“Right,” I said. “This is what everyone gets. Bowls out. If you don’t want it, make your own.”

I needed to travel with a sword more often. No one complained as I dished the food out, even though the turnip was still crunchy and the fish oil tasted distinctly of mildew. Camilla even tested the mushrooms without complaint. They were edible. I wasn’t sure if I was disappointed or not.

As the smoke of the dead fire twisted up towards the skylight, I laid my damp blanket out as a pillow. My back ached. My head hurt. I was seeing visions.

Across the fire from me, Duran had propped his head on his hands and was staring into the embers. His grin reflected in the fire. Our companions were already asleep, Camilla snoring, Balbinus wheezing. Gaeus had cuddled up with the harp.

“Do you think we’ll get to fight a ghost tomorrow?” He seemed excited at the prospect. Kids.

“‘Course not,” muttered Apis, face half-smashed into his own blanket. “Ghosts can’t fight you. Not without a necromancer.”

“What does that mean?” I whispered, but when I tried to wake him up, he was already snoring. I was left to poke the fire out and stare at the dark water.

Necromancers. Squid. Scientists. What happened to an old-fashioned temple? Where you just pray?