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Pacifist! [LitRPG/VR/weak->strong]
Episode 44: Trick or Treat

Episode 44: Trick or Treat

Gabe:

The door opens and there, standing in the doorway, is a stereotypical witch. Well. Stereotypical if your level of reality is Hollywood AAA films. If it were a Halloween costume, it would win best costume hands down. Her face is green and covered in large, hairy warts. Her nose is long and crooked, arching and pointing downward. Her eyes are amethyst purple and she's wearing a black robe, a black pointed hat, and a black cat is entwined around her feet. I saw a glimpse of her fingers as well - long, bony, and also pale green.

Witch: “Well, well, what do we have here, my dearies? It's a splendid night tonight, and who could be knocking at my door?”

I tap Grace.

Gabe: (quietly) “Tell her who we are.”

Grace: “I’m Grace and I’m a princess. This is Gabe and he’s a… what is it called again? (Martial artist) He’s a martial artist. And this is Lucia and she’s a birthday present.”

Witch: “And what was it that you said when I opened the door, dear?”

Grace: “Trick or treat!”

On cue, Grace holds out the pumpkin bucket. The witch looks at her, at me, and at Lucia, then smiles a toothy grin. I swallow heavily in reflex.

Witch: “I see that you are all dressed for the occasion. Wait just a moment, my dearies!”

She disappears for a moment, then comes back with two fistfuls of candy. She ceremoniously drops them into Grace’s bucket and mine.

Witch: “Treat. Happy Halloween, dearies! Hahahahaha!”

Grace & Gabe: “Happy Halloween!”

We turn to leave the porch, and I hear the witch’s voice again.

Witch: “Be mindful, young man. All sorts of creatures roam the night on All Hallow’s Eve.”

We walk down the pathway and I look up the street.

Gabe: “Usually, it would make sense to start on one side of the street and then go through the whole subdivision, ending on the other side. But since the end of the dungeon is a dungeon boss, that means we won’t be coming back here. Let’s cross the street and slowly work our way up. If we get to a cross street, we’ll stay on one side and work our way around it. That way we don't miss any houses.”

Grace looks at me and smiles.

Grace: “Let’s go!”

We approach the house across the street, and a huge spider drops from the rooftop right in front of us. I involuntarily jump, and Grace screams. Anyone would, seeing a spider that big. The spider, after dropping, looks at us with its huge eyes. Then it opens its mouth to show a row of fangs.

Spider: “Nice costumes! I'm loving the thematic connection. She’s a flower princess with web stuck in her hair, the round thing is a tasty bug wrapped in a web all ready to eat, and you’re a zombie who got its hands and feet stuck in a web?”

I almost fall over.

The voice that comes from the spider sounds like a little kid. Like a ten-year-old boy on Halloween, high-pitched and immature, judging the quality of a costume.

What on earth?

Grace: “Actually, I'm a princess, Gabe is a Marsha artist, and Lucia is a birthday present! But you were close!”

Spider: “Yeah… I guess I can see that. But I think my ideas were way cooler and meta. You should rethink the names guys. Either way my uncle is doing his thing so you can go on up. I just like checking out the costumes and hoping to scare people you know?”

Grace: “You’re a spider, right?”

Spider: “Yeah! You totally got it! I'm a giant man-eating spider.”

Grace: “Happy Halloween!”

Spider: “Happy Halloween! Wait - I forgot to ask. Are you guys gonna enter the costume contest?”

Gabe: “Costume contest?”

Spider: “Yeah. The big mansion at the end of the street has a party every year. They set up a haunted house and do a costume party. They even give prizes for the best ones! I'm totally hoping to win this year.”

Gabe: “Well, that spider look is absolutely terrifying. If I didn't know better, I would honestly think it was real!”

Spider: “Really? Thanks man! Halloween is everything for people around here. So we spend all year planning. This one actually uses a combination summoning / transmogrification spell my uncle helped me with. I think it turned out awesome.”

Gabe: “Happy Halloween! We’ll look into the costume party.”

Gabe: (This place is… so weird. It's as if you took Halloween and transplanted it into a place where there really were witches and magic. Was that actually a ten-year-old kid in the body of a spider? What is happening here?)

We approach the second house, and I ring the doorbell. This one the door is fully black. The doorbell is also black, with a red button in the middle. The musical tone is two deep, loud chimes inside the house.

As the door opens, I can feel an ominous presence. I tap Grace but she’s already ahead of me, with her bucket held forward.

“Trick or Treat!”

I gasp. In front of us is a huge, full-fledged daemon. He has two horns coming out of his deep red face, and he’s wearing nothing except for a piece of leather around his waist. His body is much larger than normal, with deep-set facial features and a skull that is longer than a normal human’s skull by almost 30%. His arms, hands, torso, and the other parts of his body are muscular and impressive. He stands over 2 meters tall and his red skin gives off a heavy black-red aura.

The daemon is looking down on us, and looks at Grace, Lucia, and me.

He smiles. A toothy grin with sharp, pointed teeth that could spawn nightmares.

Daemon: “Trick or Treat is it? Trick. Let’s play a little game. If you can solve my riddle, I’ll give you a prize. If you can’t, then you’ll be my slave for eternity.”

I think for a moment.

And I realize that what he’s suggesting may actually be real. Time inside adventure crystals can pass over a hundred times as fast as time outside… which means that if we are enslaved to a daemon, we might end up dying of old age before we get out… and it could only be a few days on the outside. And there are only two ways to get out of the crystal… die, or beat the boss.

The daemon is looking into my face and sees my understanding.

Daemon (laughing): “Good. Fear makes the game that much better. Don’t worry. You have a chance of winning. Otherwise it would be no fun, right?”

Daemon: “Listen carefully. I’ll say the riddle as many times as you need, but you only get one chance to answer.”

Daemon: “A traveler approaches an ancient arch, inscribed with the words Drachma Logos Odore Toccar. A man sitting by the gate repeats the words ‘Pocket, mind, face, hands.’ As he passes through the arch, the traveler murmurs a few words himself. What does he say?”

Gabe: (What!?! This is… this is… this is insane. How am I supposed to know what a traveler would say as he passed under an arch? Be reasonable Gabe. There has to be a way to find the answer. Look back at the riddle. Focus on the words themselves.)

Gabe: “Can you say it again?”

The Daemon repeats the riddle.

Gabe: (Drachma Logos Odore Toccar. Drachma was a Greek form of money. Logos is logic. Odore sounds like smells or odors. And toccar could be similar to touching. Sort of like eyes ears mouth and nose? No… money, logic, smell, and touch. And what are the other ones? Pocket, mind, face, hands. Those are probably hints about the first ones. Pocket like pocketbook for money. Mind for logic, face for smell, and hands for touch. That makes sense. But what would the person say to himself? How am I supposed to know his mind?)

I keep thinking and the Daemon watches on.

Daemon: “Take your time, mortal. Eternity is a long time.”

He laughs.

Suddenly I understand, and I laugh. Fred and I have a running joke that he absolutely hates. Who would have ever guessed that it would come in handy here?

Gabe: “That makes sense.”

The daemon shows no response. Daemon: “Let me know when you are ready to guess the answer to the riddle.”

Gabe: “I’m ready.”

Daemon: “Are you sure?”

Gabe: “Yes. I'm ready. The answer is ‘That makes sense.’”

The daemon looks at me, at Lucia, at Grace, and laughs.

Daemon: “You got it?!? No one can ever get that one! It's a quadruple entendre with homophones - the only one I've ever found! Makes cents as in money, makes sense as in logic, makes scents as in smells, makes sense as in forces to touch. And it even fits well since the traveler was passing judgment on the old man’s ramblings! That makes sense!”

The daemon laughs and laughs, his huge body rumbling with laughter as he roars.

He wipes his tears of mirth on his hands and looks down at us.

Daemon: “A deal is a deal, mortal. A prize for solving the riddle. Here it is.”

The daemon holds out his right hand, and in his hand there is suddenly a small jeweled crown.

Daemon: “A crown for a princess. Fitting right?”

He laughs again, and then gently places the crown on Grace’s head.

Daemon: “Happy Halloween, kids. Good job not being enslaved for eternity.”

He grins and closes the front door, still laughing.

---

Grace smiles and looks up at me. Grace: “That was fun!”

I'm still in minor shock. I reach and touch the crown on Grace’s head.

[Costume Item: Princess Crown]

[Raises the appeal of any Princess costume.]

Well, maybe one of the secret clear conditions is to win the costume contest. If some of the doors give us candy, and others have tricks or riddles and give us something else, this may be a much more complex adventure than I expected.

Grace tugs on my hand: “Gabe, can we go to the next house?”

She doesn't realize how close she was to being imprisoned for eternity.

Gabe: “We need to be careful, Grace. That man was nice, but if we didn't get the right answer to his question, we would never be able to go home.”

Grace looks at me: “Really? Why?”

Gabe: “Good question… I don't know. But we have to be careful. This isn't a game.” (Well, it is a game. But not really for you since you’re an NPC and this is your life. And yeah.)

Grace: “Ok.”

She seems far more subdued.

Gabe: “Come on! I'll race you to the next house!”

---

We keep going. Some houses pose riddles, others make us compete in games of chance, others give us miniature quests to complete. The games of chance stress me out the most, since I have no control over the outcome. A werewolf offers to roast us alive if we can't guess a random number between 0 and 10,000 in ten guesses. A witch makes me drink one of 5 potions, 4 of which are deadly. A gargoyle turns Grace to stone, then gives me a massive hammer and instructs me to smash 3 out of 4 stone statues that look like her.

And then there are the parties. At the end of each road is a bigger house, and each of those is full of creatures. One has a host of daemons, who collectively pose a dozen riddles. One is full of faeries who make us dance. Angels who make us sing. Witches who have us brew potions. And one (Grace’s favorite) full of unicorns who ask us to judge a beauty contest. (Definitely NOT my favorite. Ever wondered if a mythical beast was going to fire you if you gave them a poor score on the silky nature of their mane, or the shine of their coat? And then being forced to put a number to those characteristics?)

And once or twice someone chases us off their front porch wielding a weapon. “And don’t ever come back!” Those, along with the candy houses, are the simplest.

As the night goes on, Grace and Lucia’s costumes get more and more ornate. By the time we near the end of the last street, she is wearing a multi-layered ball gown with a train (complete with a little boy who is now following us to hold it wherever she goes… huh?), rings and bracers, necklaces and earrings. Her hair has been done and the original flowers I picked for her have been made into a corsage worn on her wrist and lapel. Her face is bright and coated with luminescent faerie sparkles (from the most recent faerie party), and she is wearing what look like diamond-coated shoes. Light literally pours off of her as if she is surrounded in an aura. If before she was a princess, now she would put royalty to shame.

Lucia, on the other hand, has changed her costume completely, and morphed into a frog prince. Ironically, it was a zombie in someone’s front yard who had that idea. She saw Lucia jumping around and mentioned that a “Frog Prince” theme - with both princess and frog - would be ideal. Grace’s new Halloween bucket is a golden ball - from the story of the frog prince - and Lucia is somehow now an actual frog with a golden crown.

I still don't really understand what happened.

It went from having a green costume, to having a more elaborate costume, to a witch party taking Lucia and dropping her into the cauldron where I had just mixed their questionable potions. What jumped out afterwards was a real, live, Lucia-sized (equals HUGE) frog. The crown, cape, and scepter came later.

So here we are. The second-to-last house was a candy house, and they dropped handfuls into the buckets that somehow are still not full. Grace’s golden ball is just for show - I've been the one carrying the candy for a while now. They weigh a ton. Like over 40 pounds each. I'm 100% sure that these candy buckets are bewitched to make them look smaller than they actually are. Maybe they’re like the magic inventory bags?

The last house is huge. Mansion is a good descriptor, haunted mansion even better. It has a huge banner that says “Haunted House” in an eerie script, and you can hear groans and screams from the inside.

Grace holds my hand, her other hand cradling the golden ball against her chest. She looks up at me.

Grace: “I’m scared, Gabe.”

Gabe: “It’ll be ok. We’ll probably have to go through the haunted house, and then finally finish at the costume party. I have no idea what the boss is going to be. Let's do this!”