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<11/12/149,566 {Avion 148} - 12:13 | Corral Position, Genosis, Altiri Sector Space>
When I wondered this morning how different today would be from the previous eleven days Reed and I have been communicating, I could never guess what ride the both of us were in for. As I merged my senses with his, I was once again immersed in the space he calls Saffrin Middle School. I couldn't quite understand what kind of foul mood Reed was in, as it never made sense having never seen it before.
I've only been aware of a particular trait Reed has for a short time, a trait of desire for constant and active stimulation, if not overstimulation to all sense, all thought, and all feeling. He's always been one to prefer mental matter over physical matter. Reed would rather play video games than play sports, and he would rather conduct assigned homework if the alternative were to sit still and do nothing. It's as if his mind is a chaotic sea of chatter and waves, stable only when he can hyper-focus on any task, one which draws on the metal energy of himself. It's one of the many reasons why he finds writing book scripts to be favorable, never tiresome. However, I've noticed a sharp uptick in this perceived desire for intense mental stimulation, growing since the day we first met.
I didn't understand why a lack of anything bothered him as much as it did today, though I did my best to offer him any way out I could. It wasn't easy when we've already discussed so much of both our worlds. No matter what montrum was on his mind before; Reed is somehow already bored out of his mind, and clearly unhappy about it. "I suppose it doesn't help that you don't understand teleportation dynamics. There must be something else we can talk about, or something else you can do to fill in the gaps."
"Well I can't think of anything right now Lumina. I need something right at this moment, not ten minutes from now. Man! Why can't this school just let us do something fun for a change?" As angry as he might have sounded, I didn't confuse what this clutter of thoughts felt like to me; raw irritation above all else.
But what does he expect? A facility such as his is not going to provide him with free interesting work to look into. As much schoolwork as Reed gets, not all of it is fun for him to do, nor is it something that would ease his current immense boredom. "I suppose if school were fun, it wouldn't be called school." It's an analogous saying of another phrase I've heard: 'If work were fun, it wouldn't be called work.'
Not that I meant to joke around, Reed somehow took my wording the wrong way, his growing hostility ignoring any previous boundary. Maybe he woke on the wrong side of bed this morning. "I can't take it anymore! I've been sitting here trying to think of something to do for the past twenty minutes now! And there's still nothing new to talk about."
"I'm sure I'll think of something. Every time I pick a topic however, you change your mind and want to do something else. Don't be mad at me." It wasn't just our own conversations he treated this way. I've been with Reed the entire time he's been in the library, and contrary to what he wants, he keeps closing tasks and projects, putting them away only a minute or less after pulling them out, as if he can't make up his mind on what to do for mental occupation of load.
When I brought it up to him, Reed dismissed the context without a second thought, and in mere minutes, his silent irritation began to turn into silent rage, only it wasn't silent for someone like myself. Seriously, I've never seen behavior like this in anyone before, not on a single human I've ever observed. "If that bell doesn't ring in the next minute, I'm going to storm out of here and walk home!"
If it were any other day, I'd call his bluff. Reed isn't close to his home. It would take several hours to get to his home if he did trek it there. Right now, I get the sense he would at least leave school of this onset of rage only continues to worsen. Before I could say anymore however, the school bells rang, right after he made the passive threat. "I guess fate is on your side today." Reed wasn't so impressed, but he swiftly made haste to his next class, hoping for any and all reason he would find a new task to sink his rampant thoughts into.
Unfortunately for Reed, long after gym class started, the faculty there decided to cancel a game that Reed was looking forward to, dumping fuel on an already enraged fire brewing deep from within. It was taking everything from him by now to keep his thoughts from being expressed verbally to those around him. Why was he being treated this way? Simple; some random student trashed the male locker room, and like the loving understanding people they are, the staff decided to just punish everybody instead of the one, as they knew not the culprit. "Tough luck huh. Leave it to a dumb heathen to ruin a sports day."
"You know what? Whatever! I don't care about dodge ball anyway. As long as I can find something to do, everything will be fine!" He didn't sound fine to me, and this display was going too far even by my standards.
"They still said today was free-for-all. So just do some sit-ups or something." I don't know what else to suggest, but Reed is just going to have to get over the fact that life won't give him everything he wants. I've lost track of how many times I found myself bored with nothing to do and nothing to think about. I've had to deal with such boredom less often due to my time with Reed, but that's not the important life lesson here.
My offer was of course refused outright, as if Reed couldn't take no for an answer to slap his chaotic thoughts onto some sort of productive task. Again, I've seen this before, but never to such extreme lengths. It wasn't long before he surprised me again, walking directly up to the gym teacher and trying to find some sort of solution.
"Hey! Like, is there actually something to do in this class? Every day is a free day, the same thing over and over again." The teacher, upon hearing the frustration in his voice seemed a bit shocked at what they were hearing.
Was I surprised? Not at all. Reed always has a way with words, but he can think and write far better than he can speak, a phenomena most humans gripe with. I'm not even sure what kind of result he was expecting from the failed attempt of persuasion; my guess only to leave gym class altogether. Of course, some random heathen interjected, in such a way where I could see the ending before he finished the sentence.
"If you want, you could come play basketball with us," he said, holding the ball in his hands like a trophy.
"Play basketball? That waste of space sport designed for a bunch of stupid heathens played with a bunch of rotten animals? This guy is a lunatic!"
"Yes, but he has no idea that you actually hate all men like him." I somehow convinced Reed that heathens in his world are everywhere, and that their influence poisons everything. I think it's only sourced from the sympathy he has on the millions we lost from Zinod, but for the moment, he hates heathens almost as much as I do, so naturally, any guy sports would be far out of range for acceptability, for both of us really.
It was interesting enough that this was pissing Reed off enough to go vocal about it in the first place. Not only is he not the best with his words, Reed is also a bit of a rule follower, the kind of student who can't stand being called out in trouble, so he usually avoids anything that would put him at odds with any teacher. That's why, even against a well-known heathen in his class, his next outburst shocked me.
"Cut the crap kid! I'm talking about something productive! I need something productive that won't waste everybody's time."
Of course, his teacher didn't like what he had to say at all, and struggled modulating her voice to repress her own anger that Reed would speak so harshly of a sport everyone else plays. "I'm going to ask that you be far more respectful today Reed. You're already on thin ice for that outburst. Just try a game."
"Oh, screw off!" Reed had just enough decency to restrain himself from giving both of these losers the double-middle-finger-salute, as he stormed off marching and stomping his shoes into the ground. He made way for the bleachers set vertically in the back, preventing anyone from sitting anywhere near him, obviously a silent pout.
A few seconds of silence passed, myself speechless for a moment. I don't get it; this much hostility spewing from Reed is too much to be normal, even if a heathen was briefly involved. It isn't the idea of sports or even the canceled dodge-ball which enraged him. He already silently admitted as much to himself; he only wants something to do, which from this response makes no sense...
"Reed...? Are you okay? I'm usually not the one who has to ask."
"Just peachy! I'll just stand here with a thumb up my arse until I turn to stone." I could feel his resistance, such strong resistance not to fly off some set of rails. His very own arms and legs were trembling with immense stiffness, his rage evolving, violent and pure.
You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.
The benefit of telepathy enabled me insight into his growing madness, but not into the exact thought process behind this madness. By now, it was beginning to worry me. "I can totally sense that you are angry, but I don't have any idea why... Reed, you have to talk to me. Tell me what's wrong." Whatever it is, I'm sure I can help him somehow. Don't let those feelings fester Reed! Tell me what's wrong so I can help!
I waited hopefully, but Reed wasn't willing to give me the insight I asked for, and against my advice, he simply let those emotions fester, growing and building in ways that shouldn't be possible. I knew by now that this was something a little more complex than not wanting to be bored, and it may as well be something he couldn't simply get over by waiting it out. Yet no matter what I tired next to get his attention, he wasn't giving it to me anymore. Instead, Reed went into some strange kind of trance or chant. I could make it out but it didn't provide me with any clarity.
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Chapter Theme Shift: Snow's Theme ~ Final Fantasy XIII OST
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"I have to find something to do... I have to find something to do! I have to find something to do!"
"Alright already! Find something then!"
Instead of registering my own presence, Reed continued to chant the same message to himself, trading his telepathic voice for his vocal voice, though nobody around him took notice. "I have to find something to do! I have to find something to do! I have to find something to do!" It was worse than watching someone try to enact a ritual, and Reed's arms tightened with his mind stuck in limbo, the rage continuing to build beyond what should be safe.
"What the hell is going on?" I went vocal too, but Reed continued to ignore my presence, leaving me with a scary mystery uraveling before me. Long now have I realized we've flown far away from normal; whatever was happening to his mind left no explanation in its wake, as the rampant thoughts continued to grow louder, faster, and stronger, further amplifying our confusion and Reed's ensuring meltdown.
I started to panic myself, wondering what I could possibly do from here with no ability to interfere. If I could only control Reed's body, or be there beside him to comfort whatever he was going through, it might have helped. Even so, I couldn't begin to explain or predict what the hell was wrong with his mind, as none of this made sense. For whatever the reason, it was as if Reed couldn't ignore the priority of finding any savory stimulus for his mind, and when failing to find it, like right now, he began to see red.
I've felt the hatred and rage within him, for recently has he understood how The Unity feels to those we deem our enemy. Yet no matter what he claimed earlier, I could just tell that his hatred was secondary to my own, half as powerful – for his existence lived was still brighter than mine. It's partly how I knew that this rage within him now wasn't targeted to heathens, nor to us. The logic of it didn't hold up either, but I needed to do something! "Reed! Just listen to my voice and calm down! If it's this important to you, then just skip gym class and find something to do... Reed!"
Not only was he not hearing my voice, Reed's mental condition quickly deteriorated. I don't know what and I don't know how, but something in him just snapped! Seconds was all it took for him to desecrate his own supplies and backpack, rampaging and slamming the material against the hard-waxed floor, yelling and screaming like a total maniac. Naturally, his display got the attention he should have received earlier from the staff and some other students, but by now getting near him was to be seen as dangerous. Anyone else would have been confused too, with someone as quiet and soft spoken as Reed screaming bloody murder out of nowhere.
"Reed! Reed! Respond!" The telepathy started to weaken, though I forced what energy I could to stay connected to him. No longer could I directly hear his thoughts, though the outrage of display he put on meant I didn't have to. Clearly nothing I said was even getting his attention. Reed started punching the ground and kicking the bleachers, disregarding any physical damage he was doing to his hands, disregarding how many people were baring witness to the unknown.
"The heck is going on out here?" Junko, who must have heard my desperate pleas to Reed, entered the main room, where I've been for most of the day. By now, all of my sisters must be aware that something horrible was happening with my node.
Unwilling to hide my terror-ridden eyes from her, I invited Junko in, though it was clear this wasn't a situation we could directly affect or impact. Whatever Reed is going through is completely out of our hands. I knew that this wasn't really him, that something had to be wrong with him to act this way at all.
I did my best to explain the situation to Junko, trying my best to drown out the continued screams and shouts of pain and hatred, growing desperate for any kind of solution, though my sister swiftly reminded me that there was probably nothing I could do. Was this something the purge did to him, some kind of paradox created as a side effect of something we don't yet understand? Maybe it has more to do with the thousands of thoughts screaming the same message in his head, drowning out and overriding all other sensory input beyond mere sight and sound.
Though our hearts do not beat fast like those from humans, mine began to elevate, my fears unleashed that I may never see Reed normally again if this keeps up. I don't know how conscious of his actions he really is right now, but if he's just insane enough, he may move on from physical property destruction to targeting other people around him. "There must be something we can do! I don't want him hurting anybody!"
We all got our most immediate wish soon enough. Just as it seemed that Reed was slowing down, he stumbled in place once or twice, before his legs gave out, tumbling him to the ground with his eyes wide open. I brush off the slight pain of impact transferred through me, certain he landed in a position to face the ceiling, the only way I knew he was still conscious. "Reed!"
"What happened?"
Unable to sit still, I kept pacing around the room with my sister staring at me, panicking in sympathy that this still wasn't a nightmare ending. "I don't know. He just collapsed... But I'm still on him." Just now, I began to lose the part of telepathy which lets us transfer all sensation, which means the signal is slowly getting weaker despite the outdoor temperature of his zone remaining still.
"That isn't possible."
Does she have to be so blunt about it? I know it isn't possible. Telepathic connections cease to function entirely when one of the two becomes unconscious, so that means Reed must still be conscious, perhaps coming close to passing out without slipping away.
"Come on Reed, say something!" He suddenly became to mute and weak, unable to move or get up from the ground, unable to project any psionic sound back to me. The danger of him hurting others was removed, but it was replaced by a lingering danger of something else I've never seen in any human before.
Reed of course didn't hear me, but I could hear the hectic chatter around him through his ears. At last, the adults in the room seemed to catch on that something medically unexplained had to be the cause this insanity, and so they were already preparing to transport him to their medical room. I doubt a middle school nurse would ever be able to match this, but it's better than doing nothing.
"Calm down Lumina. There isn't anything you can do for him here. You just have to relax."
I shot a death stare at Junko for the first time in my life, promising her that I would never relinquish my worry, not now of all times. How could I not care about what's happening? This is Reed we're talking about here! "Reed! Talk to me if you can hear me."
"Lumina... I can hear you, but I can't move! It hurts! Pins and needles everywhere..." At last I could finally communicate with him again, and this also meant whatever rampancy took over his mind had ended, but I wasn't thrilled to hear how much pain he was in. Why would he suddenly be unable to move, and feel sharp pins and needles everywhere? This doesn't make any sense!
"Junko! He's in some kind of trouble!" My pacing became more frantic, as I tried and failed every second to come up with some kind of plan to help him or fix this. "Reed, you have to keep talking to me. Take it easy and keep talking to me!"
"Are you listening to me at all?" Junko repeated in opposition. "I know you're worried Lumina, but if he's hurt or something, it's literally out of our hands."
"I can't lose him Junko! Not now, not like this!" Junko's eyes lifted wider, though I couldn't take the time to figure out what she was thinking to herself. All I focused on was Reed, my poor Reed suffering endlessly!
"It's amazing you can still be conscious enough for a connection right now, but don't worry Reed. I'm right here with you. Just stay awake and stay calm."
"I know, but it really hurts!"
I'm very certain I can't take this! However, our continued connection means he must still be okay on some level. As long as I can keep this connection alive, to keep him awake, I'll be able to monitor every step of his recovery.
"I can't speak anymore! I can't move!"
"Just calm down. Let them figure that out." I figured it was only a matter of time before they either drag him to the nurse's room, or resort to the more extreme measures of getting medical transport to a hospital. It bewildered me more to see that some sort of mild paralysis set in for him, enough to stop him from speaking, but not enough to block him from thinking... Oh, but he already sounds so weak, so slow and tired! Help him already!
I froze where I was, concentrating as much as I could on keeping everything alive, keeping our connection strong so that I can stay with him for as long as I can. I can tell without our clairsentience that he's scared of fading away, the nervousness I can hear in his voice. I must not leave him!
That's what I devoted all my power to do. Unfortunately, wishing I could do something and doing the impossible were still separated from our true reality. "Reed?" Come on, keep breathing! Stay awake and don't fade out!
"Lumina... I can't..."
"Stay awake Reed! Don't fade on me! Reed!" I could tell he was fighting it, the immovable urge to give in to his growing loss of consciousness, as the connection swiftly became too weak for me to boost. In a matter of seconds, it was all over, the connection failing, Reed passing out, and me being left alone in the darkened silence of my separate world.
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Chapter Theme Shift: In the Pale Moonlight (I Can Live With It) ~ Star Trek Music (David Bell and others)
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The gasp of what air I had left inside sprung from my mouth, my own body wobbled when the last pillar of hope I had crumbled under the weight of stress. "Reed!" I couldn't speak normally anymore, my voice a husking whisper accompanying my tears. I knew that the verdict on whether he was alive or dead hasn't been answered, but the bouncing thought of such was more tortuous than anything I had ever imagined before. The worry I used to have about Reed never trusting us was dwarfed by the threat to his life, and with no certainty left to cling onto, I felt myself become lifeless and without breath.
"Snap out of it!" Junko, preparing to use her good hand to slap my face, shook my entire body instead, trying to help me focus on her rather than this tragedy. Hard as it was, part of me was still here, enough to acknowledge her presence. "I'm sure Reed isn't going to die just like that, especially if they have people around him who can treat medical ailments. Please Lumina! Get a hold of yourself! If the connection has already failed, I need you back here with us. I need you to be okay..." Junko sounded less energetic in her last statement, her eyes glancing away from mine.
It was just enough for me to understand that Reed wasn't the only one who needed me at the moment. If I lose my cool now, drowning in a sea of worry to cripple my entire state of mind, my sisters will only worry about me more. If I had to guess what Reed's final thoughts were just a moment ago, I'm sure he too would feel the same way, to have hope that everything would be okay, and to have hope that I wouldn't self-destruct trying to learn what wasn't possible to learn right now...
With a deep breath and calmer mind, I tried my best to calm down as Junko suggested. It wasn't quick or easy, and I could never slow down my senses heightened by the distress, but keeping a promise I made so long ago for Junko, I brought myself back, just enough to do what had to be done, following protocol. "I am Lumina, leader of the Cy-Stars and Altiri node for Reed."
"That's right," Junko returned with strong relief in her body. "You're supposed to be the strongest of us all Lumina, so please hang in there. When the time comes for Reed to attempt contact with you after his recovery, you will have to be in a position where you can accept the reconnection."
"You are right, my sister... I'm sorry, I didn't know what to do, and I couldn't handle—" rather than hear me ramble on, Junko embraced me in a tight hug, certain from our own bond that she knew just how scared I was, how scared I still am. I didn't deny her embrace, but it was only a small dent in my own chaotic maze of thoughts, uncertain of what I should really do.
After releasing me, Junko held my hands and thought of the next step for me. "You already know the protocol for this kind of situation. Any and all forms of injury or severe sudden distress to our purge targets must be reported to the queen strait away."
"But Junko, I'm in no condition right now to fly a ship." I'm having enough trouble remembering how to do anything else. Despite what I have Junko thinking, I'm still barely holding myself together.
"Then we won't dock with the temple. We are Altiri after all, and telepathy is our way."