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<09/22/49,139 {Avion 49 (AF)} - 13:25 | Corral Position, Karnak, Genosis, Altiri Sector Space>
Forty short years is all it took to change us all. It felt as if I were almost a different person entirely, between the day I was shoved into this military draft, and how far I have come now in strength. Never once was there a time where I forgot my true mission of finding my mother on Zinod. After so long in the training program, I became stronger, day by day, hour by hour.
The queen of The Unity made certain on her promise to raise a capable army against Legasso in the shortest time possible, all while contributing even more starships to the Aggressor Group Force, our numbers nearing five thousand for an effective fleet, currently dispersed to form an interception grid should Legasso take to the stars. It was the moment the queen was waiting for, the moment Legasso would be vulnerable and without his disciple army to protect him, but it was also a moment that never came to our expectations.
Keeping alive the passion I nearly lost forty years back, I made sure to give competition to all in the training program, to be the best in raw strength, the fastest in hand-to-hand combat maneuvers, the proudest warrior of ice I could ever be. Even though Sherika had initially been in charge of our powerful group of eleven, my delegation skills surfaced and called assumed responsibility through my actions; and so in short time after our congregation, I became the leader of the Cy-Stars Aggressor Group without ever asking for it.
Even so, forty years was a long wait for most of us, given what we knew would happen in the end. There would come a day where we would have to land on Zinod, perhaps in search of an insurgency, or for Legasso himself, should he escape the net we've cast in the vacuum skies. From such a moment, I knew we would all be capable of searching for our loved ones. We could have started at any time, but all of us chose to hold back, embracing our duty in contradiction to our hearts' ultimate desires.
To act against the queen, committing dereliction of duty among our group was something we contemplated too many times to count, for this is a war we never asked for. It was also a path we could never walk backwards from, an action that would have us booted from the same military. As nice as it sounded at the time, I grew evermore hateful of the situation surrounding us, hateful of all the horrible things that happened to me, and hateful of the one who set such situations into motion, Legasso. In time, my need to capture and put down this tyrant began to equal my need to find my mother and bring her home; for I wanted to return to a home worth praising, a home worth worshipping, a home we could all call safe in time.
I wanted all of this for more than just myself too, as I was slowly growing fond of the crewmates I've been forced to work with over the years. We were all banded together the day of the draft, me with Junko, and then us with four other ships, consisting of nine other people total; Sherika, Rose, Derria, Fionne, Ashiela, Hurma, Talor, Luna, and Lulu, all of us together making up the Cy-Stars Aggressor Group.
Where we grew inwards, we also strengthened our bodies outwards, learning how to fight, learning how to move and flip through the air like acrobats, learning to blast a beam of ice from our hands using a form of flash-condensation, learning to wield a sword of ice like a professional, learning to pilot these starships like experts, and even learning how to make more masterful use of our psionic powers, through telepathy and clairvoyance, though expanding those two powers was a challenge still in progress for most.
There was still so much more to learn, much more the queen wanted to prepare us for, and we could clearly see now what her big plan was all this time. Our training program is fierce, top-tier, the best it has ever been, so intense that even ten Altiri warriors would give an army of fifty disciples a rough time. At last, we already outnumbered Legasso in strength, in numbers, in skill, and in resolve, but in all this time of our new upbringing, he still had his one trump card; the E-bomb, something Altiri scientists predict could wipe out the population of an entire planet wide-spread, ending our entire race.
Indeed, Legasso learned of our existence from the surface a while ago, becoming keen and aware of our presence, of our threat to his reign, and how well the queen worked to trap him on Karnak, only prepared to make a move when he makes his. Against what I knew, the queen actually planned to take this fight to the ground after enough time, a date coming up very soon... But as our luck would have it, that date never came.
"This is Scryer Group Fourteen to Cy-Stars, relaying emergency message from the queen."
Her voice woke me from my era of silent thought and daydream, a mental trance I placed myself inside of to keep my mind sharp. We have always run many drills on protocols in the recent past to ensure we would be ready for anything, but the very nature and tone of this scryer fell far from the reaches of what we thought to be used to. "This is Lumina of the Cy-Stars. We hear you SG-14. Please report." Our telepathy could reach greater distances after our training. It was also strong enough to reach Planet Zinod, though those on Zinod's surface were mostly incapable of returning the same energy, so it was hard to learn what was going on over there. SG-14 is an Aggressor Group like us, specializing in long-range clairvoyance rather than fighting, so they should know what is going on around our world.
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Chapter Theme Shift: Five On The Hunt ~ Benjamin Pinkerton (Dark Matter OST)
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"We have confirmed reports that three unauthorized starships have launched around the same time from separate hangars on the surface of Karnak. One class is unknown, and two more transports are hanging near the low-atmosphere area of Karnak. Standby for details."
I didn't want to be shocked or zapped awake by such uncertain news, but it was impossible not to be brought to full mental speed now. Something like this has already happened once before; it really could be him. Our ships have an advanced RADAR detection system, but they aren't too reliable a system just yet. A few years back, an unknown ship made mission to and from Zinod back to Karnak, and many think it was Legasso, but the reports could never be confirmed. We stick to the likely conclusion that it was a scout.
Right now on the other hand, this current report makes much less sense in its timing and totality of intent. This shouldn't be Legasso's next move, because it would be too stupid of him to try. Then again, if his starship is much faster than ours, he could get to Zinod before we have a chance to intercept him, should his detection run late. "I do not have confirmation on sector coordinates. Can you please confirm last known location, heading, and design ordinance?"
"One moment Lumina. Our great queen is figuring it out now..."
Could it really be that the day has finally come? Is it our time to wipe the galaxy clean of this parasite and regain what rightfully belongs to us? If the queen herself is taking precedence on this matter, then it must be an important target, none other than Legasso himself. I would start our Sunder-Crelessive Plasma engines right now and find this lone ship, but we cannot act outside of the queen's wishes.
"This is your great queen of The Unity, coming loud and clear to all Altiri Aggressor Groups! I have confirmed the presence of Legasso on the unidentified ship; it's him. All Aggressor Groups between the grid sector of ZF and HF are to pull your fleets closer to the temple and to form a counter-intercept force should this ship turn around. All other aggressor groups are to spool thrusters to full power and make haste landing on Planet Zinod. Legasso is heading to Zinod by himself, and this is our chance to single him out."
I was already taken aback by the long-awaited opportunity I've been hoping for, but also by the sheer stupidity of this one enemy. The queen has been waiting for Legasso to make a risky move like this, and he did so knowing of our presence. "Scryer Group Fourteen to all units; Legasso's personal ship has been confirmed, already beyond the A-1 Field. Any pursuit may have to continue on the ground."
It's as we thought then. Legasso's ship is harder to detect electronically, and while our scryers can snuff out the intruder in space, clairvoyance relies on precise location. Legasso snuck right past our security grid like it was nothing, but he isn't getting away now. Furthermore, by landing on Zinod, he has given all of us too good a reason to resist chasing him. We can now eliminate Legasso and find our family all in the same frame of time; checkmate! "This is leader of the Cy-Stars! We are closing in on intercept course to Zinod. We should arrive there first, no less than fifty minutes."
The voice of our queen acknowledged our new flight plan with skeptical delight; even with the good news, she remained ever cautious of the situation. "Confirmed Cy-Stars. By luck alone, you happen to be the closest Aggressor Group Fleet to the planetary surface, rotation specs suggesting you land on Hangar Platform Z-15. The other fleets are behind you... You know what has to be done if you come face-to-face with Legasso. A terrorist like that deserves to perish; though captured alive or dead is entirely up to your discretion."
"Affirmative." Like it's even a real choice! The very thought of his name tightens every nerve in my anger! Legasso! He's the same person who brought ruin and rot to our world in Karnak, the same person who has beaten and abused countless of his own disciples, and the same person who took my mother away from me. There isn't a doubt in my mind which choice I am to make here. When I find Legasso, he won't be returning with us alive. All these years of training have led up to this very moment, and I will not squander them!
"Maximum acceleration Junko! Other Cy-Star members? Form up on me. We're landing on Zinod." I already went to work entering the proper coordinates, while Junko lowered the power of the AGCR system preluding our acceleration forward. In the swift moment of our haste and desperation, all of us began acting as one, our minds cemented together in the same ultimate mission. It went far beyond what myself and the others felt; every other aggressor group in pursuit to Zinod felt the same way between their vengeance or their certainty to take Legasso in, our hearts synchronized in unity.
"This is Scryer Group Twelve, leader speaking. I'm going to try sending a one-way warning to the people down on Zinod that Legasso's arrival is certain and not mere rumor."
"You are free to converse freely everyone, if you find yourselves capable of dialogue on Zinod. It has been too quiet down there, even by my standards." The queen spoke of strange experiences, as most on Zinod never figured out long-range telepathy or clairvoyance, due to our inability to go there and train them, but there were always a very small number of outliers who could. Those outliers are part of whom the queen mentioned, those who have recently gone silent, for reason unknown.
For the next thirty minutes, our chase became too taxing on my mind, alerting beyond a point of normal stress, the excessive anxiety I brought only to myself in the wait. Close as we were to Zinod, what made this so horrible for me was my current inability to intervene with whatever Legasso is doing down there. My entire crew could bath in my nervousness, and yet the only moment that made me feel calm was admission from the queen's similar fear.
"Tactically speaking, this move doesn't make any sense. Is Legasso switching planets to make his control of the population easier by sheer number alone?"
"I do not believe so, my great queen." Patched into a growing telepathic grid between us Altiri and the queen, the rest of us listened to the mysterious inquiry of Legasso's likely motives. "There are 32 million of us on Karnak, and only about one million on Zinod. However, those in Zinod will certainly be wide awake to Legasso's true intentions, and while alone, they may even begin a skirmish against him the moment his presence is made aware."
"I figured this much already. The situation still does not put my mind to ease... It's been over thirty minutes since he has landed on Zinod. Relay a message to our forces on Karnak to band together and begin the raid of the Empyrean Temple. Target Legasso's personal quarters. All Scryer Groups, continue trying to relocate Legasso on Zinod. He must be somewhere. I want a visual!"
"Just fifteen more minutes," I whispered through my teeth, suffocated by the anticipation of bringing this war to a close. We already had Zinod forward in our sights, closing in with every second, our ships speedy in their design. At last, I would get to take part in this execution myself, and then abandon the military as I planned to all these long years ago, enacting the promise I made to myself and to Junko.
Junko even fancied a glance to my direction, nodding in approval for what we secretly agreed to, the moment now upon us. With both of us at the controls, we worked overtime to ensure not one mistake could be made. "Deceleration will start as soon as we get closer to the atmosphere. We will make haste with our landing Lumina, but cautiously as to avoid collision. Remember that the exact gravity parameters will be different for Zinod."
"I know. You don't have to tell me."
"My great queen! There's a problem! Massive seismic disturbances all over the surface!"
None of us know who was screaming her warning or what it even meant, but the Cy-Stars and I would not have any time to process any of it, for one crisis followed another in a cascade of events. Before I knew it, all of my senses and surrounding were suddenly flooded with perceptions not of this world, beamed through my mind and stretched in fast-forward motion that made little sense. It brought me to my knees, knocking me from my cockpit seat, and whatever was happening to me echoed all the same with every crewmate on my team.
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Chapter Theme Shift: Malebolge ~ Ace Combat 6 OST
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It was as if I were stuck in another place, living the life of someone else over the course of a minute, over and over without end. It was more than just a disconnected experience; the anger, the sadness, the regret, the hope, all of it filled my blood as I struggled to come to grasp with what was happening. All of where I was became overridden with flash moments sped up greatly, moments of another's entire life as it was lived recently. An unknown level of time passed before I was finally returning to my own senses, dazed and confused, Junko helping me up while our ship was no longer in quick momentum.
"Junko! What happened?" Still as dazed as I was a moment ago, though the strong vision of another captured my mind, I was just barely coherent enough to function.
"I was going to ask you. I forced all of our ships to halt our intercept-course... You felt it too, right; that burst transmission?"
"Burst-transmission? Junko, what—" I couldn't even put together what she meant before the gravity of her words knocked me from my focus. I knew in passing what the phrase meant, but have never experienced such a moment before, not in all the time I've been alive. Everything I experienced felt so real, but also so fast and sped up. What froze me more was the ending sensation of the memory passed onto us, one of great remorse and loss, something strong enough to bring tears to us all.
Burst-transmissions are a rare form of telepathic memory sharing, one less known and experimental, thus seldom-experienced by anybody. The idea is a power that compresses specific memories into a brief moment of telepathic discharge, made with limited range and possibly sped up to cover more in a brief moment. Some refer to this as emergency memory transfer, as it is only ever attempted by those in fear for their life in an immediate moment. Therefore, it was only now that I started making minor sense out of the experience, two names coming to mind, Lissy and Sana.
Two seconds later, it was the last thing I cared about, when the most shocking thing glazed our eyes. A flash of light brighter than the sun consumed the center of the world, while crackles and crumbles spread all throughout the sphere of the frozen planet. The flash was so bright that our eyes needed to adjust before making out the impossible moment before us, that the entire planet had been broken into several thousands of small burning chunks.
The death of a million Altiri lives was instantaneous, and it took all breath and thinking power away from me. I refused to believe what happened before my eyes, my mind repeating the episode over and over hoping something alternate to reality phased back in. Instead, the broken debris of Zinod continued flying outward in all directions, leaving the soundless screams of a million souls to perish as we witnessed, helpless to stop this, to go back in time and reverse whatever happened.
Not long after, the invisible shockwave hit all of us, knocking myself, Junko, and all of my crewmates flat on their backs, while throwing our ships into a crazy rotation lacking all gravity. At the same time, all lights inside went dark, the power storage drained of any life, and our ships now adrift. The sudden storm of death is what came for us next, as thousands of rocky chunks impacted against the ion steel hull of our disabled spacecraft, while the rest of the rain brought terror and doom down to the last remaining world below us, their personal hell brought to the surface with us.
Even I dared to deny reality, as any would, witnessing the impossible. A planetary explosion of such size shouldn't be possible, not in physics or anywhere else. Even one of Legasso's experimental bombs should not carry such power, yet remaining with us was all the evidence to the contrary...
Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.
In all the time we've been alive, our telepathic network has never been so silent as it was now; not a single person could move, speak, or think. We were instead frozen by our new fear, witnessing the impossible without any explanation for what led up to the moment. It was two long and painful minutes before any of us said anything at all, though alongside my crew, we were all a sobbing mess, my face wet inside my hands after understanding the additional implications.
It wasn't only a million Altiri women that suddenly perished from our world, but also, my own mother, Junko's mother, every true adult of our unity lost all at the same time, given the certainty that they would never be coming back. "It can't be! She can't be gone!" I refused to believe it, yet had no way to deny this truth, and my sadness was but a droplet in the tidal wave of pain rippling throughout all of us collectively, amplifying the experience tenfold.
"This is... This is the queen... Please, somebody tell me what happened. Please tell me that this is all some kind of trick! There's no way Legasso would detonate a device on Zinod... He couldn't have!" Her gratefulness could not escape our growing sadness, its all-consuming affirmation swallowing all, from here in space and from all on Karnak witnessing the hell in their sky.
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Chapter Theme Shift: In Emptiness ~ Raison D'être (Forgotten Temples)
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Our moment of silence came at last, for as long as 11 minutes straight, as we forced ourselves to say farewell to those we loved and lost. I wanted all the time in the world, and I refused to get up and move, even though the queen remained persistent in her desperation to confirm her suspicions. "Cy-Stars? Your group was closest to the blast. Are all of you okay? Did any of you see Legasso's ship escape from the radius?"
"Give us some time, Lady Q. I just lost my mother, and I'm not getting her back." It was Junko who replied for me, as I gave her a nod of gratitude for granting me the time I wanted to undo myself. Little did I know how some of this was also my fault. "You promised us Lumina," Junko whimpered in waterworks matching my own. The look of betrayal through her eyes jabbed my heart like a knife, intensifying the pain even more. "You promised us we would reunite with our family again."
"I'm sorry Junko... That day was supposed to be today." I have failed, reacted too slowly to give anyone what they long deserved to have. The EMP from that bomb has disabled our ships, but clearly the damage is not extensive. Had we traveled a minute or two closer to Zinod, the explosions would have consumed us as well. If only we had landed on Zinod, in such indirect manner, we would have been reunited with them at last, but we have been denied even death's mercy. "I'm so sorry."
I held nothing against any who wanted to blame me for losing their chance. Junko was right after all. I shouldn't have held my patience all these years. I should have just abandoned the military to find our people the first chance I got, but instead, I stayed in the military, lifting up all these lies about honor and hope... None other can take responsibility.
"Everyone!"
"Not now Derria. I don't want to speak or think anymore."
"But the memory!" Derria tried once more to get our attention, shifting her priority so easily. "The burst-transmission Lissy and Sana sent out... You can do as you may, but I must insist on reviewing this memory again, until I am certain. If I'm right, Legasso never made it out of that explosion."
I wanted to ignore all of it, especially at the risk of reliving Zinod's final moments when it was already bad enough. The curiosity about why Legasso would destroy even himself was strong, but not strong enough to pull me from emptiness. Eventually, after seventeen more minutes, I decided to replay the burst-transmission locked in my mind, for different reasons of my own, my crew on the same track.
All of us at once decided to relive the same moment, more than once to be certain, trying all we could to slow down the speed of transpiring thoughts of the past. What we lived through was still so immersive and detailed, more than enough to overtake our minds and emotions, though nothing for any amount of time could erase the new holes in our hearts.
Reviewing the memory, I learned more about the truth than I thought possible, about the true nature of Zinod's destruction, but also the state the people were in prior to the moment. I had no idea how unstable the world was from the anarchy, nor did I realize how unstable the people were, locked in their own desire to kill Legasso. The most shocking aspect of this were the actions taken by Lissy and Sana, both of which learned that Legasso already planted and armed a remote detonator attached to an E-Bomb on Zinod. These two from the city of Jue played Legasso at his own game, arming an E-Bomb of their own, using the device as a last resort to prevent Legasso from escaping Zinod, probably obtained from a tiny cache he left the previous moment he smuggled them into Zinod.
Too many unanswered questioned lingered in my mind after reviewing the memory fragment more closely. It was most difficult to swallow, because in some instance, it seemed like Legasso wasn't the one who pulled the trigger on Zinod, and yet, Lissy was so certain he was going to detonate the bomb, after leaving the planet for his own personal safety. None of it made any sense to me, and even after, all I could think about was the destruction and disintegration my mother had gone through. Knowing with more certainty what happened didn't make me feel any better; it seemed like nothing ever would.
After another half-hour passed us, the rescue party was finally coming in to greet us, accompanied by our most distressed queen. "Cy-Stars? The rescue party I've sent to extract you all and tow in your ships should be there in a few minutes... I won't force you to speak if you don't want to. Just know that I'm holding an emergency meeting in the Altiri Temple, to debrief."
Does she want to know the truth about all that happened? No alternate version of events could be as bad as this anyway. It was so hard for me to lift my own eyes, more difficult than ever to speak in my voice, worn from the same scar afflicting my mind. "My queen, I request to deliver testimony on what happened. Lissy and Sana were directly involved in this, and they sent us all burst-transmissions to explain it before Zinod—" She knew enough by my words already, and I couldn't bring myself to finish the sentence again.
"This is news to us, Cy-Stars. We currently have no congruent reports from the other aggressor groups."
"How are we the only ones that got the transmission then?"
"You were closest to the planet at the time, and burst-transmissions have a limited range since they span outwards in all directions at once... Lumina, and anyone else from Cy-Stars, I request, prior to your direct verbal testimony in the temple, that you invoke memory sharing with all of us, so that we may carry this shared memory to as many Altiri as possible, until it reaches every living soul."
"I see no problem with this." If I merely share this memory which isn't mine to the others, perhaps I wouldn't have to speak as much when I'm asked to deliver my own version of witnessed events. I already didn't want to think about anything anymore, yet here I am, forced to continue, for reasons I don't yet know anymore.
It was a long and silent ride back to the safety of the space station. Me and my crew shared in our long sadness and our unwillingness to dare regurgitate any of our old memories, but we did what had to be done, even though our hearts fought us along the way. Eventually, we were back in the Altiri Temple, packed with thousands of people in such a tight and cramped room, all of us gathered around as much as possible to review the devastation of this very day.
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Chapter Theme Shift: Clouds of Sapphire ~ Sid Acharya
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I gave my version of events before daring to speak a single word, performing the memory sharing trick as my queen suggested I do, and waiting for it to reach everyone. Confusion, outcry, and further sadness spread through all of us like wildfire, and so I began to speak as rapidly as I could, just to put a final end to this horrible day.
"Their bomb which they had acquired, had the same payload as the one Legasso was trying to use against Zinod; the only difference was that theirs was combined with a manual remote detonation system and an automated countdown timer. Either way, the result was all the same. Legasso fought like hell to break into the occupied hangar to get back to his own ship, killed a few of the people there, and made it inside of his cockpit. He nearly escaped the destruction zone of the planet, almost as if he knew what was about to happen. But by then, he was already too late. So, it wasn't Legasso's bomb that did this, but it was Sana's bomb which destroyed Zinod." After saying as much, I stepped down from where I stood, taking my seat and leaning into Junko's lap as she held me close.
After a few more people spoke, the queen took her place on the podium to speak to everyone, ensuring we could all hear in her telepathic amplification. "To all the Altiri of our entire world, I offer my deepest apologies. My goal was to stop Legasso at any cost, but as queen, I have failed to save countless important lives that we all mourn for... Before I ask everyone to take their places homeward, I feel it necessary to set some records straight."
"The disturbing facts presented from Lissy and Sana's memory-burst suggest that Legasso may have only intended to plant a bomb on Zinod and publicly declare the threat, as a means to regain figurative control of us again. However, the scouting team I sent to raid Legasso's quarters back on Karnak found even more disturbing evidence of even greater conspiracy. Beyond the genetic evolution research he was into, suggesting an unconfirmed though rare possibility that he may have played a role in our current inability to reproduce, we also found a much larger cache of bombs all similar in design, unarmed and inert when located."
The shocking news the queen added on didn't make our lives any easier, but it soon became clear why she wanted to share the extra knowledge of context. "Given all we found, we now conclude that Legasso was in fact planning to destroy Zinod, unconditionally, after leaving from the planet in his ship, as a means of torturing our resolve eternally; a threat of irreversible action to have us dissolve our military and rejoin his allegiance, and all while using the additional bombs to hold Karnak hostage second to the threat. Whether Lissy or Sana knew of this larger conspiracy is not known, nor is it relevant. Even though what they have done would normally be unforgivable, they limited the damage that this murderer would have done to us, at the cost of their own lives, and the lives of millions more."
Even I had failed to consider this much. Legasso was planning to destroy Zinod anyway? There was really nothing we could have done to stop this in advance?
"Whether you all view the actions of these two Altiri to be heroic or demonic, is entirely up to you, though considering the sacrifice, I must praise the outcome. Those who were on Zinod gave their lives in fighting, so that those of us left, all of us here right now and on Karnak could continue to live longer."
I had to ask for what purpose would we continue to live longer, and even if we deserve to. I spent countless years looking for my life, for a future I could return to, born from my own past. Yet now, there is no past, its contents destroyed, erased from all access, leaving me here in this shattered existence shared with others bleeding in the same pain.
"As such, it is overwhelmingly clear that Legasso has too much to answer for. It saddens and angers myself that he was able to evade our wrath and torture. Legasso wanted only to control us, no matter how many of us he needed to kill. His genetic difference between all of us shall forever be noted and recorded. Legasso, including any possible descendant or similar species to him, will be marked as the number one enemy of The Unity."
"What are we all supposed to do now, my great queen?" asked a random woman of the crowd.
"We must make great strides to better ourselves as people, to recover and rebuild what we have lost where possible, to remember this tragedy with all effort and ensure it never happens again, and to find meaning in the continued existence of our lives... I must admit, even I am having trouble with that right now... From this moment onward, I hereby bring ending to my executive order regarding the orbital defense fleet and the draft related to it. Residing in the Altiri Military and out here in space will still be possible, but the decision whether to stay here or to return home is now voluntary."
As happy as it may have made some people, I wondered how she could pose such choice and make it sound so easy. Not long ago, I would have been overjoyed to hear that I could finally leave the military I was forced into... But after all this time, after getting used to it, after training for forty years with the same people and the same faces, how could I ever leave them? What purpose could it possibly serve me to return to Karnak, a world offering nothing more to me than silent echoes of sadness? Even with all tension removed from our galaxy, I no longer have a family to return to, nor a place where any would see me smile ever again. In fact, I didn't personally know anybody back on Karnak well enough to recall their names or faces, and somehow my crew were of the same mind. Somehow, they became the closest thing I had to family than anyone else in this entire world. If ever I do return to Karnak, I don't think I can do it without them. Still do I worry if they will want to stay with me.
"Through all of this, our people functioned far better than ever before, our minds fully awake in this unity that brought us all together. So, it is in my interest to keep The Unity alive and functioning, to set us as a final guardian of our remaining world. However, where I have gained experience being ruler of The Unity, I am certain I lack trust, especially now. We should all have the right and free-will to choose who will lead us into the future, a future where we one day recover from this madness, a future where we may one day avert our eventual extinction. In 28 cycles from now, I will host a voting event on whether a majority of people want to keep me running the temple, or whether to have me step down in place of another. Additionally, after we finish documenting evidence, we will be dismantling the old Empyrean Temple for parts, removing any trace our enemy may have left behind."
"What about the remaining bombs? We can't just have those around. It's dangerous!"
"Pause your concern. I have already decided to have a team study some components before jettisoning the devices directly towards the star. The radiant heat of our blue sun will safely consume the danger."
It seems the queen is trying to play cleanup with this impossible mess, though I was happy to hear she was allowing the people to choose whether she stays in power or not; it's evidence from the start that Lady Q never intended to fight Legasso merely out of jealousy to take the same position. Somehow, she saw the kind of person Legasso was from the very beginning, countless years backwards, and pressured him to change before things got this bad...
Still, no matter what I think, no matter what I choose to do now, nothing in the universe will ever bring my folks back to me. Everyone knows this already, including the queen. No matter how The Unity tries to recover, no matter how many peaceful days we thus endure, this emptiness in all of us will remain for eternity, with every heartbeat, with every breath. I may live for thousands of years only to never recover, and it would never once surprise me. Regardless of how I choose to endure the rest of my time, I won't be living anymore; I'll only be waiting to die with the rest of us, my crew sharing all the same sentiment and the same fate, mirroring our downfall like sisters.
...
Days later, as if the fate of all existence were to kick us while we were down, one more tragedy struck us all like a disease. Though it didn't affect every single Altiri, an overwhelming majority of us suddenly suffered some kind of targeted memory loss. Our old memories, most specific to the identity and facial memory of our mothers all but disappeared, or became too corrupted to make any sense of, while the memories of everything else seemed to intensify. Before I could call myself a monster for what happened, I had to watch the same horror echo out from countless other around me, even from my sisters in the Cy-Stars.
Nobody knew why this happened to us; nobody could provide any likely explanation of why or how our memories of the same subject matter became so easily corrupted and overly vague. It was never clear if this shared memory loss was a symptom of the stress we all suffered that day, or if it had something to do with the possible and unknown risks of the mass memory sharing we invoked. There is an unspoken risk of memory sharing, one I faintly recall my mother once taught me. By sharing memory with another who isn't ready, there poses minor risk that the influx of new memories can override part of the old memories, causing an unwanted overlap between the two, melting two realities together when they shouldn't. I didn't learn of this until so long later though, and instead, blamed myself entirely for the egregious carelessness of my own mind. By failing to recall a single thing about my mom, it was as if I had somehow killed her all over again, her very existence more in question than it ever was before.
This is our dark past we all share, the dark history of the Altiri, in all its horrible aspects. When the sadness we wanted to suffocate in became too weak to shield us from the pain, we replaced that emotion with something even stronger; undeniable hatred for Legasso and any single element of or about him, about heathens or influence of a heathen to The Unity. Those of us who remained in the military went back into training, using our skills as a means of psychological stress release, as we would replace a target dummy with Legasso in our minds, allowing our rage to consume us to dangerous measures, and so our wrath, our fury, and our hatred lived on, for as long as we could recall the Fall of Zinod.
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<11/10/149,566 {Avion 148} - 19:01 | Corral Position, Genosis, Altiri Sector Space>
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"I'm so sorry Lumina... I can't even imagine what that must have felt like... Though, I get it at least. There isn't a doubt in my mind why you hate heathens so much. Whether it's right or wrong to - isn't even a concern right now."
Hearing any part of Reed's voice made me more comfortable. Even though I spent so much of my time locked deep into the past, I knew I couldn't always keep myself there. How many times have I been led to ruin by pretending I could get all that time back? "You don't have to be sorry for me, but thank you."
"Those memories you showed to me the other day, about all that you saw happening on Earth, it also reminded me what my montrum was all about, how I would become entranced at the sight of anything the same color as the blue tracing your skin, or how I would lose myself in the arctic world at mere brushing of the morning's cold air. But in all of this, I didn't consider how frustrating it must feel to want one memory over another, yet be denied that memory."
"It's as if it's always there in hiding, dangling over my head like some cruel joke. I faintly recall how much she meant to me, how much I missed her those days after she was taken from me, but ever since the Fall of Zinod, I could never get her name or her face back to me; it's the most unfair thing in the world." Can he imagine it? Can Reed ever know what it's like to permanently lose the most precious memory, to never get it back no matter how hard the struggle? I wouldn't want him to endure that kind of pain, but at the very least, I needed to ensure he understood why our unity will never let go of our hatred. I foolishly believed all men were no exception to the definition of heathenism, but thanks to today, I've learned that there lies hope in some people after all, within us and within other civilizations.
"Legasso was evil; there's no denying that. I don't mind anymore if you have to let out that anger either. Heck, I'm still upset just hearing about it... But Lumina, you know feeling that way won't bring any of it back, right?"
"You really thought I didn't realize this already?"
"No, I mean... As vengeful as we are, I can't help but wonder if it's better to try making happier moments happen; not to forget all about the past, but to merely add to our lives what we have been denied for so long."
"Hm..." At first, I didn't understand the meaning of what he said. I then jumped to the conclusion he meant by replacing a bad experience with a good one, but even that doesn't match up with how he feels in relation to this moment... No, Reed accepts what happened to all of us, carrying the burden of that weight while moving forward and trying to feel better, all at the same time.
Now that I think about it, most of us in The Unity have done the very same thing, often without ever realizing it. I can't say that I have forgiven the evil that took my mother away from me, but I also cannot deny that some part of me has already moved on, moved past that horrible point in time. For had I remained as damaged and broken as I was before, I wouldn't even be here right now...
Without being loud, I let myself gasp at the sudden revelation, something I nearly forgotten about, something Reed's personal sentiment reminded me of, in my own point of absolute weakness and self-destruction. All of my sisters were there for me, refusing to allow me to throw my life away when all I wanted to do was give up, and Hurma especially reminded me that while I may have lost family, I also gained additional family. She wanted me to live, to become part of the future together, a future where none of us knew the destination or the outcome, in itself a risk. Here I am now, with my family, plus a new friend, someone who is also here for me now, comforting my every word in ways I never would have expected...
Reed; do you see all of that? Do you look at me and immediately understand where I could end up if I hold onto the smallest glimmer of hope? I wasn't entirely given the choice on whether to keep going or not; and even if I was, I had people here to hold my hand.
But Reed has had nobody in his life before me, nor has he been through the same intensity of turmoil. Yet somehow, he understands just as well as I do - some of the same virtues it took us thousands of years to learn. That intelligence I sensed in him earlier, the insightfulness I could see reflected from his own two eyes ~ this is the very nature of which I spoke of, laid out from the reaches of his personal mindscape.
"I can't be certain if what I'm doing is right or wrong anymore Lumina. So instead, I'm just gonna keep playing things by ear, make decisions only when I know I need to. I've been doing that since we met, but I'm only realizing it just now, after realizing how much I've misjudged you personally."
"You know something Reed? Sometimes, you say the most interesting things. It's as if you can learn things from other people without being in the same room as them."
"Think you can clarify what you mean there?"
"No need. You don't need to worry about why or how just yet. Just know that, I already feel so much better, after talking about this again with you." I knew it was true, certain that this boy can understand so much more about us if only given the time and the chance... Now I don't want to disconnect from him at all, not even for a nanosecond!
"Whatever. As long as I've made somebody else feel better, then I'd say it's a good moment."
"You like making people feel better, don't you?" My question was mostly meant to tease him about it, but Reed addressed this admission personally.
"I don't understand the reason why, but you're right; I do get a nice feeling from it. Whether I've made a clown enough of myself to make someone in class laugh, or whether I've made you feel happier, I don't know why, but I feel better when I know I've made someone else feel better."
Sweet as that is, I doubt he could have that same effect on my sisters as he is now... Though, maybe I should learn to chance it. "It's because you're a nice person, someone sweet and selfless. I may not have learned everything about you yet, but I know you this much at least."
"If you say so... Try calling me any of that cringe crap my mother tries on me, and I'm dropping the connection right then and there."
"Noted." On top of how amazing he is, Reed resists any positive praise to himself, all to avoid the risk of becoming arrogant or selfish. I can't think of a quality more worthy than his, and so, as to not spoil this mixed mood, I won't annoy him on the matter. "Want to go outside and stare at nature again?"
"You act like that's just something I do for no reason."
"I'm taking that as a yes." I know already that Reed loves nature, though the latent effects of the purge have only amplified this sensation within him, a sensation of infinite wonder with nature or imagination as the backdrop. He has been this way from the beginning, and is even more so now. I can't stop wondering, what kind of world does Reed see when he stares into the sky now? What alternate reality does he imagine or daydream of when the fate of it stares him in the pupils? Right now, it's one of the many things I would love to sense with him. Instead, I too shall be left in my own wonder and question, for a person's mind is its own alternate universe.