A burning sensation filled his entire body and all the pain faded away. The surrounding voices became clearer and clearer. “Res, Res can you hear me?”, the voice of Xenia resounded in his head. He felt much lighter now and his returned smell brought her scent to his nose.

“Wow, I am in heaven. With that sweet of a voice and that smell, I knew that you must have been an angel, Xenia.”

Somehow, their bond still worked in the afterlife. He could definitely feel her joy intensify when he opened himself up. *Slap* Sudden pain on his cheek and Akeem’s rough voice, interrupted his dreaming. ”I saved you, but that doesn’t mean that you have the permission to court my sister, do you understand.”

He was pulled up and instinctively tore open his eyes. Akeem’s attitude and the endless white room pulled him back into reality. With numb lips, he stuttered out: “Why … Why am I here? I feel so light, so funny, so …”

Serafina’s beautiful face came into view and he felt the urge to kiss her right on the lips. He shook his head and tried to recall what he wanted to say. Serafina laughed her tinkling laugh and said: “The fight was rated and depending on how many people liked it, we could get an item. We bought a practitioner potion for me and a king healing potion for you. Because those people don’t enjoy feeling pain, they have mixed some drugs in the mixture.”

Akeem crossed his arms and Xenia scowled at Akeem. “You know that we chose the right option. Without Res, we wouldn’t be here and we don’t abandon teammates.”

“But … They had a king-level armor! I have seen only three low-king level armor pieces in my entire life.”

Xenia put her hands on her hips. “Lives are worth more than metal.”

Akeem turned away and snorted. Seeing his chance, Res pushed himself forward and kissed Serafina full on the lips. Akeem whirled around at the sound, but Res was already innocently whistling. Serafina’s skin tone turned a deeper tone of red than ever before and she stood up mechanically. She buried her face in her hands and sat down on the other side of their little perimeter. Res’s rational questioned his actions, but the intense feeling of joy at doing what he had done overwhelmed all his common sense.

“You know what, Akeem? I like you. You could say that I love you. I love everyone.”

Akeem eyed him for a moment but then turned his attention to Serafina. All the while, Xenia’s head had taken on the same shade of red as Serafina’s, but out of anger rather than shame. Like a tigress, she pounced on Res and pressed her lips so intensely against his that he couldn’t breathe. Akeem cried out in horror, but Xenia’s kissing only intensified. Her tongue shot into his mouth and both of their tongues formed an interplay of passion. Finally, Akeem tore Xenia off of him and held her at her neck like a kitten. Akeem shook her and shouted: “Why did you do that?”

Xenia only licked her lips suggestively and called over to Serafina: “You got his first children kiss, but I got his first actual kiss.”

Akeem looked baffled and enraged at the same time and signaled Xenia to stop, but she continued. “We even entwined each other’s tongues!”

Serafina held both of her hands over her ears while singing a children's lullaby. The absurdness of his situation awakened some part of rationality and he called out. “Hold me down.”

Akeem let go of Xenia and complied with obvious satisfaction. Vague shapes coalesced in front of him and he drooled. “Wooooowwww, veggtables are blue … ”

His rambling was interrupted by the voice of the announcer: “This show is sponsored by the Grupo Baking Group.”A small kitchen with alien utensils materialized in front of each contestant. For a moment, Res thought that it was only another hallucination, but the announcer continued. “The challenge for our contestants today is to bake an amazing cake with the help of Grupo’s patented Mixer. Our contestants can use sugar, Kamazari skin oil, one giant Civet egg, Pixy milk, water, and an assortment of fruits.”

As far as he could see, all the contestants only eyed the kitchen utensils in apprehension. Only the elite royal guards seemed prepared for the test. All of them were scurrying about the kitchen in practiced motions. Res giggled and asked: “Akeem, tell me, do you have secret aspirations of becoming a housewife?”

His comment earned him a hit on the back of the head, but because of his dull state, he didn’t notice it. Serafina had turned and when Res winked at her, she whirled around to face the other way again. Akeem luckily understood the gravity of the situation and asked: “Do any of you know how to make a cake?”

Xenia snorted unladylike. “I tried baking once, but the head chef threw me out of the kitchen.”

Serafina only shook her head.

“Bro, you don’t know it yet, but women dig for a man that can cook. You know, making them a romantic cake when they wake up. Always lands. I know a recipe.”

As if he had heard the funniest joke, he began to laugh and Serafina looked hurt by that. He hated himself for hurting Serafina, but he couldn’t stop himself. Xenia looked at him with concern as he continued to laugh. Akeem clamped a hand down on his mouth, but he continued laughing. A tear rolled down Xenia’s cheek. “Do you find it this funny?”

With all his might, he tried to stop himself, but the image of Jason serving a whore a cake was too funny. Xenia broke out into full-fledged tears and slapped him. He welcomed the blow as it could stop him from laughing, but he still continued to. Slap after slap landed on his cheek. Xenia teared up and shouted obscenities like: ‘I hate you, you pig’, ‘Shitbag’, and ‘I wish to take back everything I have given you’. Finally, she hugged Akeem and cried. He now felt like the biggest scumbag in history, but he couldn’t stop laughing. After thirty minutes, his laughing had died down and his head began to clear. Meanwhile, the two girls had sorted all the kitchen utensils while avoiding eye contact.

Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

“Bro, how are you?”

“Fuck, that drug messed with me, didn’t it?”

“Bro, your melatonin levels were off the roof. Must be a new designer drug or something.”

During his high, he had tried to stick his finger in Akeem’s rectum. He had tried to eat his nose and shouted obscenities at Serafina and Xenia. When he felt that he wouldn’t break out into another laughing fit, he asked: “Akeem, I know how to cook. Can you let me go?”

Akeem looked down at him and said: “Peanut costume.”

With all his mental fortitude, he turned the incoming laughter fit into a giggling fit. “Please Akeem, I am telling you. I am on my way down and I know how to bake. Do you want to let them bake?”

He motioned to the two girls who were looking at kitchen utensils from different angles as if that would help. With a sigh, Akeem let him go while keeping a close eye on him. Without a clue, Res stood in front of enormous machines and piles of ingredients. Res had to hold himself back from laughing when Jason instructed him in a teacher-like tone: “First, you separate the egg whites from the yokes. You crack the egg open and put the egg yolk in one half of the shell. Then, you let the egg yolk slide into the other half of the eggshell.”

The only problem was that there was only one egg, and it was as big as his head. With some reluctant help from Xenia, he somehow separated the egg white from the green egg yolk. His haze vanished as Jason bombarded him with instructions upon instructions. He hurried around the kitchen, pressing buttons, mixing ingredients, and adjusting heat settings. Finally, they ended up with an enormous bowl of fluffy dough. When Akeem tried it, he groaned in pleasure and took another helping of the dough. When it was time to spread the dough out onto a metal sheet, Jason instructed him to create a specific shape.

“It is a symbol that all klengan’s appreciate, I promise. You will need to create one long bar of dough with two mountains on one end.”

Res arranged the dough in the shape and pushed it into the magic oven. Wiping off the sweat from his brow, he had to admit that baking was kind of fun. Together, they had created something that wasn’t half bad. Determined to set things right, he opened himself to them and said: “Hey, Serafina and Xenia. Baking with you was fun, and I was forced to laugh by the drugs. I don’t find it funny that you can’t cook and I apologize for the hurt I have caused.”

Both of them didn’t seem appeased, even when they felt that he was sincere. Serafina avoided eye contact while Xenia was pouting at him. Reluctantly, he added: “I know that this is a breaking of trust, so to gain your trust back, I would be willing to open myself.”

As if those words were a magic key to happiness, both their beautiful mouths split into two smug grins. Through the weak protest of Akeem, they ran over to him and hugged him. A sudden warmth spread through his being and he let the feelings flow into their bond. Serafina reddened and turned away again. Before he could apologize Xenia nibbled at his ear and something soft touched his shoulder. In a breathy voice, Xenia whispered: “I love you” while filling her words with lust, passion, and desire.

His heart skipped a beat and every part of his body screamed: “Get ready for mating!”

Luckily, Akeem pulled Xenia away from him while she tried to free herself from his grasp. “Don’t think that if you can bake a cake, you can have my sister.”

Yet, the retort was somewhat subdued and Akeem whispered into Xenia’s ears. Res was only exhausted and sat down on the floor. Jason chimed in: “Bro, that was … that was … I got the shivers, man … That feeling … Some women have told me we are sexually compatible. I have thought such a thing impossible. There is no such thing as the perfect woman, but that … Don’t understand me wrong, I don’t want to do anything. Your melatonin levels were through the roof. They were even higher than when you were on that crazy designer drug. You definitely have to lay her flat one day.”

Serafina’s blush had receded, and she had turned back to him. She took a seat next to him and motioned for him to do the same. “Xenia is different than usual, isn’t she?”

Res snorted and asked. “Is that even a question?”

Serafina laugh was like tinkling bells and Res loved it. She felt his enjoyment through their bond and reddened slightly. “Do you like my laugh?”

“Very much so.”

Res felt the Serafina’s enjoyment when he said that. “She is behaving like that because you have kissed me. My bond with her as her honor guard lets me feel some of what she doesn’t even acknowledge herself.”

Serafina paused and watched Xenia, who eyed them with interest. The weird part was that Xenia wasn’t coming over to join in the conversation.

”Do you know that marrying two women is a horrible idea? It isn’t meant to be, because human relationships don’t work that way. It is unnatural.” Res felt the truth in those words, and Serafina continued. “I have seen many marriages with more than two partners. Each one of them is bitter, spiteful, and filled with backstabbing. A marriage needs such immense levels of trust that upholding it with two people is already difficult.”

Res traced the sign for infinity on the nondescript wooden surface of their table. “You know, you need to get more credit for your whit. Why are you telling me this?”

Serafina picked up his hand but still looked down at the ground. “I have thought the relationship between Xenia, you, and me a lot. We have a chance of working it out. This will only work because we all have a blood bond. We will need to balance on a pole in this relationship. Any shift to a particular side will have our relationship crashing down and it will.”

With Serafina, he felt that he could speak his mind, so he did. “Actually, I haven’t thought at all about our relationship. The only thing I did before I got into all this …” He gestured at his surroundings and grinned melancholy. “… was thinking about everything. I would lie down on the lush green grass and think. I haven’t thought about our relationship.”

He felt the hurt from Serafina, but he went through with it. “I don’t want to insult you, but I may have to actually think for a change. I can’t believe that I am saying this right now.”

Jason cheered him on: “Yes man, we won’t let ourselves get drawn into stupid marriages. We are lone wolves hunting for fresh and delicious meat!”

Somehow that analogy didn’t sit so well with Res. A lone tear ran down her right cheek and she wiped it away. “Actually, I shouldn’t have told you about anything I have said. My true purpose for this talk is to feel out your feelings for Xenia. She plans on marrying you if you win the tournament. She thinks you hide some of your powers and that you have a chance of winning the tournament. Xenia thinks I am telling you about her giving you the prospect of marrying her. Can you look at her with an astonished expression if you want me to tell you more?”

Res didn’t have to act shocked and when he turned, Xenia was winking at him shyly which confirmed Serafina’s story. Through their mental link, Res could feel the same speechlessness from Jason. Serafina tried to smile, but one could see the pain in her eyes. ”You would be the king of Trianon married to a powerful princess. I think you like me too, so Xenia would let go of me and turn me into your mistress. Wonderful, isn’t it?”

She broke off in sobs. Her beautiful brown eyes were puffy. Judging by the way she clutched at her shirt, she was close to breaking down. Shortly before she closed herself off, he felt desperation, sorrow, and … love? He remembered Serafina’s analogy of the precariously balancing pole and tried to play through the scenario in his mind. He was torn out of his thinking by someone clearing his throat right next to his ear.