After an indeterminate amount of time, he felt himself being sucked back into existence. His entire being was shrunk down into something tiny, minuscule. As he was floating, he realized that he was moving along some sort of pipe. He tried to move in the opposite direction, but he was carried along like deadwood. Panic rose in him and he screamed, flailed, punched. Yet, his body continued to float undisturbed. Yet, something primordial in him, shouted at him to escape, to run. With all the strength his immaterial body could muster, he screamed out for help. Res listed off gods from various cultures and even cried out for help from a unicorn. His mind tired when screaming out loud and he only sobbed as he felt something drawing near. What it was, he didn’t know, and yet that was the most terrifying thing about it. He curled in on himself and whimpered.
“Please, please save me. Whoever is out there. Save me.”
Suddenly, he felt a disturbance in the monotonous tube. He could feel someone offering their hand and a way out. In the weird trance, he eyed the hand, but it remained a normal hand, so he grabbed it. When his soul touched the hand, an enormous indescribable presence engulfed him. It felt like he was standing in front of someone who was as large as the biggest mountains, yet also as small as a needle. The presence was made of so many facets, but also something whole. In the instant of clarity, while floating along, he asked in awe.
“Who are you?”
He was deafened by the rich, deep voice permeating his body.
“I am that I am … Who are you?”
Somehow it felt to Res that the entity already knew everything, but he couldn’t speak, couldn’t move. His body was torn out of that tube and encompassed by the entity. With a lurch, he found himself back in his body. The pressure to say it out loud hadn’t lessened, so he shouted out:
“I AM …”
He trailed off as he found himself unable to continue the sentence. This inability to answer the simple question: ‘Who are you?’ was …
“What does that mean? I am not a noble and I am not a beggar. I am not an alchemist and I am not a restaurant manager. I am not a fighter or a diplomat. I am not a philosopher nor a scientist. I am … ”
As he had always done before, he sank down into the black abyss of his mind and began to circulate aether in his brain. The whirlpool was still there, but now a white glow surrounded it. When he touched the glow, feelings of immense understanding washed over him. Yet, the feelings didn’t bar his way into the whirlpool. They were a reminder of what could be. Feelings of concern and fear washed over his entire being. When he felt for where they had come from, he felt a mental link in his body and asked out of habit.
“Jason?”
“Bro, holy shit! I was shitting my pants and hoping that you hadn’t gone mad. You know that possessing someone who is mad is shitty. Brother, it is good to have you back! What happened? I could have sworn that your soul was sucked out of your body. How did you rescue yourself?”
Something deep in Res’s being stirred and he found some purpose again. “Hmmm.”
Jason seemed flustered and Res slapped himself for jumping back into his old, uncaring behavior. “Hey Jason, how did your date go?”
Jason blabbered about how beautiful and intelligent the girl, Layana, was. Res only listened to the torrent of words and gave his occasional comment. “The only problem is that she is shy. If I say shy, I mean bat shit levels of shyness. When I first sang my poems, she ran away.”
Grinning, Res replied. “Are you sure that it wasn’t because your poems are bad?”
“Shut up, sore loser. I bet your date was the same. With the only difference being that they wanted to get rid of you because you smell like sewers.”
“Hey, that was a strike below the waist. At least, I got a kiss out of the date, unlike you.”
Jason bombarded him with questions, but Res held his silence. Their rambling was interrupted by someone poking him in the back. Res tore open his eyes, whirled around and came face to face with a terrified baker’s apprentice holding a broom. Res cleared his throat and apologized for the inconvenience. Before the boy would report him to the authorities, Res walked into a random alley. The first light rays of dawn pierced his eyes and he felt glad to be alive.
When he smelled his clothes and looked down at his torn shirt, it became clear why Serafina had rejected him. With an aether push, Res was on a rooftop and immediately dropped back down. His heart hammered and every fiber of his entire being was on alert. Flying only one hundred meters away, an elite guard squadron patrolled the block.
“Bro, what the fuck are they doing so deep in the city? Wait … Ahhh the fight with the prince.”
“Come on. Can’t they assume that I am dead?”
“They didn’t find a body, bro. Act like nothing is out of the ordinary and you will be fine … I hope.”
Following the few people who were up and going to work, he was led to the crafter’s district. The bustling of the district made him loosen up again. When he was about to turn to enter the alley that led to Granny’s backyard, Jason hissed. “Continue following the street.”
Rarely having been led wrong by Jason, he complied and continued. When they were one hundred meters away from Granny’s shop, Jason explained. “What the fuck. There were over fifteen elite guards stationed all around the building.”
I didn’t see any.”
“They wear special necklaces that radiate out strong specialized aether. I wasn’t affected because you soaked everything up. Dude, go onto a roof now and I bet there are at least fifteen elite guards.”
Indeed, when Res climbed up onto a roof, he could see eight figures in the red uniform of the elite palace guard surrounding Granny’s shop.
Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.
“Jason?”
“Yeah, bro?”
“We are fucked.”
“Yeah.”
“Granny has to be alive, right?”
“I think so?”
The thought of Granny getting hurt because of him was unbearable. “Should we check?”
“Bro, by your tone, you won’t stop bugging me about it until we do. She must have friends, right? We should ask around.”
The owner of a leatherworking, told him that Granny’s best friend was Silvia Heartfire. To his great horror, he found out that Silvia actually lived close to the palace district. With a sigh, he started his trip back the entire way. After a while, he pulled his shirt over his face in a makeshift mask and pushed himself through the alleys with aether. One time, he whizzed under an elite palace guard patrol. Res nearly shat himself when Jason pointed that out. At the eighth bell, Res finally arrived in front of Silvia’s majestic manner. They had already checked for any elite guards and had found none, so he knocked on the door.
Clanging and shouting ensued, and the overweight girl who had saved his life opened the door. When she saw Res standing outside, she dragged him into the manner without another word. She stuck her head out of the door and looked at both ends of the street, then closed her door. The interior of the building was adorned with gold and expensive carpets hung on all walls. The smell of herbs immediately identified it as an alchemist lab. Emma rested both her hands on her hips and asked in clear displeasure.
“What do you want?” The ‘you’ had a certain uncomfortable connotation to it that Res couldn’t quite place. In an instant, he circulated aether in his head and concluded that she was Silvia’s apprentice. By the way that she stressed ‘you’, he guessed that she already knew about him.
“I wanted to drop by to see Ms. Heartfire.”
Emma stared at him for several moments as if he would tell her any moment that he was joking. “Sorry if I am mistaken but you look like the sort of individual who doesn’t have the money for her services.”
“I am Res. Our masters are bets friends and I want to ask your master something.” She looked pretty annoyed at that.
“Master doesn’t even have the time to judge my work, but I am sure that for you, the prodigy, she will make as much as needed.”
She had placed her hands on her hips and seemed to wait for a retort, but Res played dumb. Finally, she exhaled in defeat and gestured him to follow. “You are special. Not in a good way.”
Hoping that he wouldn’t stretch her hospitality, he asked. “While you ask your master for a meeting, can I please take a bath and get some fresh clothes?”
The sheer disdain when she looked at him was palpable and mixed with envy. It was difficult, but he adopted his most innocent grin.
“Can it be that my booster-nut somehow wasn’t able to … satisfy you?”
Jason howling laughter echoed through his skull as Emma had to compose herself. “I gave the nut to master to research. I will arrange for a bath, but not for men’s clothes. Judging by the ragtag assortment you wear, everything would be an upgrade.”
Res chuckled and agreed. “I would be grateful if you can get trousers instead of skirts.”
Emma led him into a room with a gigantic pool of steaming water. Racks of thousands of various cremes, shampoos and powders filled the room. Res gawked at the beauty equipment and the door slammed shut behind him. He heard the muffled voice of Emma: “I will slide in the clothing when I found something suiting. You can take every soap you want.”
Res stared at the enormous rack and read labels out loud. “Rose Blossom, Rose Full blossom, Rose bud, Honey …”
“Bro, you have to see this. Second highest rack: Strawberry Cake. Who the fuck in their right mind would like to smell like cake? Do women think when we men smell that we think of them as attractive? I would only get hungry.”
Res had to chuckle at that and they spend the next five minutes reading labels of absurd scents. Res’s laughter about a crème that made you smell like Banana was interrupted by a basket being shoved into the room. At last, he selected a shampoo called: ‘Flower Infinity’ and went into the enormous bath with a contented sigh.
“Bro, it is as I told you, right?”
“If we have four of those pools in the restaurant, we will be rich in no time. This is heaven.”
When he stood up from his bath, he felt complete relaxation. In the basket were a pair of enormous loose pants and a shirt that he had mistaken for a bag at first. From somewhere, Emma had managed to get male undergarments and socks.
“Bro, wait. She got male undergarments, but only got those clothes? Somehow I doubt it.”
When Res had put the clothes on, he did some basic martial art moves he had stolen from Orson. “They aren’t that bad. I look like a monk, but have full range of movement.”
With a swing in his step, he stepped out of the bath and stood face to face with Emma who burst out into laughter. Through the laughter, she stammered out: “What shampoo did you use?”
“Flower Infinity” His answer only inflamed her laughter and Res waited for her to calm down. “Why is it so funny?”
Her laughter died down to a chuckle. “It is common sense that everything with the word ‘Infinity’ on it will last forever.”
Sudden dread rose in his stomach, but he calmed down when Jason commented. “Bro, chill out. Your women may even like the smell.”
Luckily, Res didn’t have to respond as a loud knock resounded through the manner. With a groan, Emma turned and raced down the stairs. Res had a bizarre fascination with how fast she could move despite her weight. With nothing to do, he followed her. When he saw the face of the well-clad woman that entered the building, he gasped out loud. From undamaged parts of her face, Res deduced that she had been a beauty once.
Now her face, neck, and body were battered and broken. Her half-translucent dress hung around her body in shambles. Her nose was bent at an odd angle and her entire face was bruised and cut and one of her eyes was swollen shut. When the curvy woman saw him, gave him a sad smile. “It is this bad, huh?”
Emma gave Res an angry stare and motioned him to shut up. Res couldn’t endure the pain he saw on the woman’s face and spurted out. “I will get a healing potion, I will …”
He made as if to leave, but the woman interrupted him. “Do you think I can’t afford a healing potion?”
When Res reassessed her, he noticed the glittering green emerald on her chest. Her skin was perfect and her proportions like that of a painting. – He was standing in front of one of the wealthiest prostitutes he had ever seen.
“Bro, she can’t drink a healing potion. It would heal all wrong and it would ruin her job.”
Res could see how Emma struggled whether she should have Res or the woman leave. Finally, she finally cried out in frustration. “Both of you, come follow me into the waiting room.”
Res followed her into a small room with tens of velvet chairs near the walls. She motioned them to sit down and pulled out a tablet with a piece of paper out of a drawer. From a pocket, she produced an expensive lead pencil and began to ask the prostitute questions. “Did you already assess the damage with a physicist?”
“Yes.”
“What bruises?”
“The most severe one is a Nasal bone fracture. Broken cheekbone and various other bruised bones.”
“Did you do a LIDAR-Scan with a Master class artifact?”
“Yes, the cheekbone is a clean break but the nasal bone has been shattered.”
“Any other injuries?”
The woman threw Res a critical look that said: ‘This shouldn’t be for your ears.’ “Vaginal tear and a broken right hip bone, clean break.”
Res stared at the woman in horror as she listed off injuries that one might get from a tavern brawl, but not … Even Jason didn’t comment and only sent shock and horror through their mental connection. Res couldn’t hold himself back and asked: “Did the patron got punished at least?”
The woman snorted in amusement. “He was a duke, boy. Akila had the duke pay fifty gold coins and had me pay the visit at the doctor and alchemist. If I would have been killed, Akila would have smiled at the duke and asked for a platinum coin. I am a product with a price tag, not a person.”
Another knock resounded through the building and Emma pointed in the direction of the door. “If you only annoy our customers, you can make yourself useful and open the door. The maid had a late shift yesterday and you can be a great substitute.”
Thinking about the consequences of the woman’s statement, Res left the room. When he opened the door, he stared into a face he knew well and instinctively exclaimed: “Baldie!”