Nick opened his eyes with a start, his head moving frantically in every direction as he took in his surroundings. He was in a… bathtub?

What the hell?

The last thing he remembered was collapsing near a long faced dog, bleeding more blood than he thought he had. Was that a dream? Or was this a dream? Or was this some kind of Inception bullshit?

He really hoped it wasn't the latter. That was all he needed, dropping to a new dream level and Freddy Krueger waiting to play doctor with those freaky ass hands of his. Nick shuddered at the thought.

Well no use worrying about it. If this was a dream, he might as well enjoy it, and if it was real life, he might as well enjoy it even more. With that he sunk into the warm, bubbly water with a sigh of contentment.

Is this what Nami got to enjoy last night? This nirvana? If so, she definitely owed him one. Wait, didn't he get t-bagged by a bear…?

Two! She owes him two!

Ah, who wants to think of such traumatic things while enjoying a nice soak in the tub? A real weirdo, that's who. And Nick was anything but a weirdo. Awkward and slightly pervy, but not weird.

Speaking of pervy, Nick opened his eyes, gazing at the other side of the claw foot tub, his imagination easily picturing the busty beauty he traveled with. Her luscious orange hair, her sparkling brown eyes as she eyes treasure, (or anything of value really) and of course, her bouncy, bountiful, beguiling, boobies!

Oh he could just see them now, all soapy and wet, glistening with a provocative shine. Nami giving him a coy smile as she teased him, eyes shining with dirty mischief. Her foot, slowly, sensually, creeping down the tub toward his sacred treasure.

That thought brought Nick to full mast, violently demanding attention. The thought of Nami and her delicate foot was too much for one manhood to bear, and now he needed his help. Well, who was he to deny a friend in need?

It wasn't Nick that was into feet, it was just his penis. Scout's honor!

Just as he was about to provide his bestie with assistance, a knock came from the doorway, distracting him from his sacred duty. Who the hell was that? Why now? It was just getting good damn it!

"Hello? Nick? Are you in there?" said a familiar voice. In fact, that voice belonged to the very woman he was just thinking about. You know what they say, speak of the devil and she shall appear.

Was it that she could sense what he was about to do while thinking of her? Was that a power women had? If so, Nick was in some deep shit. There was no way he could think of Nami in a purely platonic way, her body was just way too damn perfect. It just wasn't possible. He was only a man!

"Nick?" asked the voice again. Well, no use trying to ignore her, might as well bite the blue ball bullet and get it over with.

"Yeah I'm in here. Was there something you needed?" he asked, hoping she would just go away. But, from what little experience he had with her, he doubted those cards were on the table.

"Oh good. How's the water?"

"It's good. Nice and warm."

"Glad to hear it. Mind if I ask you something?"

Nick groaned at this, his little soldier almost off duty. Was it too much to ask that he got a little private time? A little me time to destress and unwind from the worries of the day.

Guess so. Whatever…

"Sure, go ahead," he responded despondently. If she could tell he was a bit upset, she didn't say. No, what she did say shocked Nick to his core. The core of his man parts that is.

"Would you mind if I joined you?"

If he was playing a record right now, this is the part you would hear a loud skip. Did he hear her correctly? Did she really say she wanted to rub a dub dub in the tub with him?

"Could… could you repeat that?"

"Do you have soap in your ears? I asked if I could join you. Or is there something you don't want me to see?"

Even in his dreams, Nami is a snarky little thing. He knew it was a dream now, cause there was no way in hell Nami would ask to take a bath with him. At least not yet, they barely knew each other. But did that matter to good ol' Nicky boy?

Nope!

Dream pussy is still pussy. Something his soldier boy agreed with, as he was now standing at attention, ready and willing to do his duty. What a guy, and he just clocked out too.

"Please, I have nothing to hide. Join me if you want to, I don't mind," Nick said, hoping she didn't hear the slight crack in his voice. Judging by the slight laugh she gave, he didn't think he was that lucky.

"Ok, I'm coming in," she practically purred. Nick gulped as he watched the door slowly open. She was doing this on purpose, he just knew it. Dream Nami was just as much of a tease as real Nami it seems, and Nick could blame no one but himself.

After several agonizing moments, the door finally fully opened. Nick was practically ready to jump out of his seat at this point. He could see her outline through the fog and the steam.

She entered the room, taking dainty steps forward, barely making a sound, her cat burglar skills on full display. As she got closer, more and more of her became visible. He could see her short hair and pouty lips, her brown eyes full of deviousness, and her long, smooth legs that just kept going and going until they reached the bottom of her towel.

That's when Nick's heart skipped a beat. Nami was wearing nothing but a towel. A towel that barely covered anything, and that left nothing to the imagination. Her generous bosom was imprisoned, the towel their warden.

Nick was more than willing to perform a jailbreak.

"Like what you see?" asked Nami, with a coy smile. Damn, this vixen knew exactly what she was doing to him. Of course he liked the view, it was as if Aphrodite inhabited human form.

He idly wondered if the real Nami would be like this as well. Probably. He just knew she would be a world class tease. He doubted he would complain though, if she looked even half this good in a towel in real life.

"I… truthfully Nami, I have a hard time believing a woman as beautiful as you exists. You are absolutely perfect," he told her. Was he laying it on a little thick for his literal dream girl? Yes, yes he was.

But in his defense…

Boobies!

Nami giggled, a blush not entirely from the heat lighting up her face, "Ah, aren't you sweet? Flattery will get you nowhere you know."

Her grin said otherwise. She was so close now Nick could smell her perfume. It brought him back to earlier that day, when she hugged him in Buggy's freaky fetish room. Flowers and citrus, carried by a summer breeze.

"It's not flattery if it's true though, is it?" Nick questioned.

Nami hummed in thought, "I guess not." She then raised her hands up to her mountainous peaks, teasing him as she lifted them up and let them flop back down, jiggling with their hypnotic sway once more.

Nick stared at them with a focus that would make a laser jealous. How had they not popped out? What evil magic allowed that tiny, tiny towel to keep them hidden? Such foul sorcery should be purged from the world, it was a blight on humanity itself.

More importantly, wasn't this his dream? So how are her bosoms able to defy his wishes? This was his domain, where he was lord and master, and those bazongas would reveal themselves, or face the consequences.

"Are you ruff Nick?" she asked, lowering the towel just a bit so that her nipples were barely covered.

"Oh yeah, I'll be as rough as you want-wait? What did you just say?" Nick asked, perplexed.

"I asked, are you ruff ruff. Grrr."

Nick stared at her in dawning horror. No, not now. Not yet! He was so close! Nirvana, inches away, only to be snatched from his grasp by the cruel twist of fate. Or a barking dog.

That's right! He fell asleep with that dog just a few feet from him. If he was making a big enough fuss to interrupt his wet dream that means…

The enemy has caught up to him. One of Buggy's goons must be close by and the dog took offense to that. Not that Nick could blame him, those guys suck. Stab happy clown fuckers!

With a depressed yet resigned sigh, Nick gave one last look at the nearly naked form of Nami, trying his best to etch the image into his brain for future reference, even as the world around him began to shift and sway like the fevered dream of a hippie on acid. His time was up.

Nami gave him one last sultry look, as she dropped her towel, the steam covering anything good. She was a tease to the bitter end.

"I'll be back!" Nick screamed one final time.

Nick jolted awake with a start, woozily searching his surroundings. Everything was spinning. Most likely from the combination of blood loss and exhaustion. Seems his little nap did little to cure him of those inconveniences. It may have made it harder actually, kind of like his ding-a-ling. Erections probably weren't a good combination with extreme blood loss. His blood pressure must be in the shitter right about now.

There was the dog, growling at something. There was the pet store behind him, devoid of life. And in front of him, in the courtyard, was a big ass lion, and a furry riding him.

Fan-freaking-tastic, it was Mohji, and… uh, wait what was the lion's name again? And did it always look so… how to put it? Mangy? What happened to-oh! He happened. That's right… Big cannon go boom, now lion no has hair.

He didn't look happy about it either. His eyes were laser focused on Nick, damn near glowing with their intensity. Angry would be an understatement, a disservice to the very meaning of the word. Livid? Apoplectic?

Something like that anyway.

The furry looked pleased with himself. Smug for smugness's sake. What a douche… Nick was pretty sure he said he didn't want to fight the furry, and this is why. They're cocky little shits.

"It seems I've found you, Mr. Thief. It was quite rude of you to leave the party early like that. It was for you after all, ahahahah!" said Mohji with a big stupid laugh. Not as stupid as Buggy's, but still pretty annoying.

"Ugh," Nick groaned, standing up on shaky legs. "God, your voice is annoying. Can you keep it down, I was trying to nap. And your party sucked anyway."

Mohji seemed to take offense to that, growling like a wild animal. A wild puppy to be precise. "You damn punk. Do you have any idea who I am?"

Nick quirked an eyebrow, seemingly in deep thought, "The lion's beta male, baby bottom bitch?"

Time seemed to stop for a moment as the insult sunk in. Once it did, Mohji's eyes began to twitch. First the left one, then the right one. Then the veins started popping. Yep, he was mad. But the funny thing was…

The lion seemed to agree with him.

"No you miserable little shit! I'm Beast Tamer Mohji! I can make any beast my loyal servant! I'm the alpha! I'm the one on top!" he seethed.

Nick stared at him for a moment, "Cool story bro."

"Gah! Get him Ritchie!"

"So that's his name," were the last thoughts of Nick, before he was bitch slapped through a building. He tried to dodge, but it looked more like an old man tripping over his own balls.

And just as painful.

Agony once more erupted from his everything as he barreled through the wall and numerous stands of pet food. Glass shards embedded themselves into his flesh, and fresh blood oozed out.

But on the plus side, his boner was gone.

"Good job Ritchie," praised the furry. Ritchie roared in pride, preening at the compliment. Mohji then dismounted the lion, landed with a thump on the ground. He wore a savage grin as he made his way toward the pet store.

"Grr, bark, bark, bark," yipped a little dog, standing in Mohji's way. Said man stopped and stared at the puny thing, before squatting down and holding his hand out, "Come now, there's no need for that. Rejoice, you serve me now."

But the dog known as Chouchou had other ideas about that. With one last growl, he leapt up and chomped down hard on the pirate. Mohji howled in pain, swinging his arm left and right, up and down, desperately trying to remove the canine.

"Ahh! Let go, let go!"

But Chouchou refused. He would make the person who destroyed his treasure pay in the only way he knew how. He would deliver doggy justice to the perpetrator.

Eventually, Mohji began to hit the dog, hoping that would remove him. It did not. If anything, Chouchou began to bite down even harder.

Nick watched this from the comfort of his bed of broken things. He was pretty sure he had a splinter or two lodged in his ass. Maybe Nami could help with that later? Couldn't hurt to ask.

He watched with amusement as Mohji continued to flail about, having little to know success in removing the angry dog. Some beast tamer he turned out to be. It only confirmed to Nick that Mohji was indeed a beta male.

"Get him, doggy."

Mohji grew tired of the beast not being tamed by him and swung his hand at one of the poles holding up the porch, slamming Chouchou into it. The dog let out a pained whimper as its jaw loosened, giving Mohji just enough time to grab him by the scruff of his neck and rip him off, flinging him to the ground.

"Damn mongrel. Ritchie, hold him down! I'll deal with him later," ordered Mohji. The lion hurried to comply, placing his enormous paw over the struggling dog. With the dog secured, Mohji turned his attention to his original target, Nick, who was nowhere to be seen.

"Where did he go!?" Mohji yelled as he entered the store through the hole. He looked around the shop, clearly spotting the blood Nick left behind. With a savage grin, he walked towards the spot, knowing he couldn't have gotten far. He was in the store, hiding, and Mohji would flush him out.

"Do you really think you can hide from me? I'll have you know I've never lost a game of hide and seek before, so it's only a matter of time before I find you."

Nick rolled his eyes at Mohji's attempt at being intimidating. Like he would ever be intimidated by a furry. All he needed was for Mohji to take the bait, and whammo! Victory for Nick.

He had no plan for the lion though. His last plan to fight a large animal ended in a tea-bagging disaster, so he wasn't keen on a repeat. He did wonder if the lion was as flame retardant as the bear.

Best not to risk it.

Mohji, unaware of Nick's plans, followed the blood trail Nick left him, which led to a door near the front counter. Grinning once more, Mohji approached the door, as Nick snuck around the counter, with a length of broken timber in his hand.

"I've got you now. I told you there's no hiding from me," Mohji said with a smug grin, as he wrapped his hand around the door handle, before violently wrenching the door open, revealing nothing more than an office, devoid of life. His smug look vanished as he gazed at the empty room.

"Where is he?" Mohji questioned angrily.

"Hey, asshole!" yelled a voice behind him. Mohji turned around, only to see Nick, holding up what looked like a 2x4. Nick gave him a savage grin of his own, as he swung the piece of wood at Mohji, splintering it all over his face.

If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

Mohji's screech of pain was music to Nick's ears. And was that a tooth? I think it was a tooth. Mohji the Beta Beast Bitch landed on the ground with a dull thud, groaning in pain.

Well that wasn't good. Nick was hoping that would knock him out, but it seems he was too weak at the moment to K.O a bitch. Oh well, if it kept him down long enough for Nick to get away, that would have to be good enough.

Dropping the splintered, broken hunk of scrap wood, Nick slowly hobbled out of the demolished building, ignoring Mohji's quiet cries of how he would kill him. Tall talk from a tall glass of candy ass.

Speaking of sweet, sugary asses, Nick wondered once again to Nami. He needed to find her. If she was even still on the island that is. Thinking about it, she was probably long gone by now. Why would she stick around for a guy she barely knew?

The short answer is, she wouldn't. And he couldn't blame her. He wouldn't stick around for someone he just met, especially if he met that person in a jail cell. Unless that person looked like Nami that is. He definitely wouldn't leave town without an ass that fine.

Different priorities for different people. It was doubtful she was after his ass the same way he was after hers. Actually, his wallet was usually in his back pocket, so in a way, she was after his ass. Or at least something close to it.

He would have to watch himself if they ever played a game of grab ass. Naw, if he played a game like that with her, she could have his wallet. Not like there was anything in it anyway, so he would definitely be getting the better end of that deal.

What was he doing again, he was distracted by Nami related things. Shit, she didn't even have to be near him to hypnotize him with her body. That just wasn't fair.

He also didn't need another boner right now.

But back to the matter at hand, he was escaping, wasn't he? That sounded right. It wasn't easy to think at the moment, what with all the blood loss and what might very well be a concussion. That lion might look stupid, and a bit like a burn victim, but he sure hit hard.

He was just about out of the pet shop, barely able to make out Ritchie and the still struggling Chouchou, when something was wrapped around his neck.

Well that can't be good.

That prediction proved true, when a moment later, he was violently yanked back into the shop. Damn, and he went through all that effort to escape, limping inch by inch out of that fucking building, only to be dragged back in.

Nick was sent flying through another series of shelves, this one filled with canned goods. In Nick's humble opinion, it hurt like a bitch. Not as much as the first time he was sent hurtling through pet food, since that time he was punted by a goddamn lion, but it still didn't feel good.

But the worst part was that it was Mohji that did it. That hurt his pride more than anything.

Nick landed near Mohji, with a gasp of pain, choking and breathing with a ragged wheeze. He clutched at the thing strangling him like a python. Looking down, which was a struggle in and of itself, he discovered it was a whip. Mohji's whip to be precise.

Can't that furry take a hint? He just wasn't that into him. Or BDSM.

Ah fuck, now he was thinking of Nami in a dominatrix outfit, stepping on him and threatening to punish him. Ok, so maybe he was into BDSM. But now wasn't exactly the best time for that revelation.

"And where do you think you're going," questioned Mohji with a grin. A grin Nick noticed was missing a tooth. That made him feel a rush of pride.

"Quick question? Does your pirate crew offer dental?" Nick gasped out with a smarmy grin. It sounded like a chain smoker trying to sing opera. Fuck his throat hurt.

Mohji appeared confused for a second, before he used his tongue to examine his teeth. It didn't take long for him to notice something missing. Eyes wide, he grabbed a broken piece of glass to examine his face. The second opinion was the same as the first, he was missing a tooth.

How's that for hide and seek, bitch?

"Gah, you little bastard! If Captain Buggy didn't want to kill you himself, you would be dead by now," Mohji raged.

"Lucky me," snarked Nick. He just couldn't help himself. Mohji was too easy to mock, it took no effort on his part whatsoever. Took some of the fun out of it, if he was honest. Not enough to stop, it was still enjoyable, but he wanted someone who was a bit more of a challenge.

"You won't think you're so lucky after I'm through with you. Captain said I couldn't kill you, he never said you had to be in one piece, and it just so happens to be Ritchie's lunchtime…" Mohji said, leaving that threat hanging in the air. It didn't need to be said after all, Nick knew what it meant.

He was about to get a whole lot more pirate like, with a peg leg or a hook. Maybe even both.

With that said, the furry pirate began pulling Nick out of the pet shop, enjoying every noise of pain his captive made as he was dragged across glass and wood and all manner of uncomfortable things. It was music to his ears.

"Oh Ritchie, daddy brought you a snack!" Mohji practically sang out as he exited the pet shop, Nick struggling and gasping for air behind him, whip still firmly wrapped around his neck.

What would Nami say if she could see him now? Probably something snarky as she rescued him and then billed him for the trouble. He could practically hear her now…

"Nick!"

Yeah like that, only a bit more greedy and a bit less concerned. Wait, that wasn't just in his imagination was it, because that thing has been getting out of control lately. Forcing himself to search for her, he managed to spot what looked like her in the distance, near the entrance to an alleyway.

Or at least he thought it was her. The boobs looked right from this distance, as they were about the only things he could properly make out. Well, that and her orange hair. But who was that with her? Did she replace him already? If she did, and he survived, she would get such a spanking! Make her perky ass redder than Buggy's nose.

Actually, they kind of looked familiar… Yeah, the more he stared, the more their blurry shapes sharpened up. There was a shorter guy with a straw hat, and a gruff looking guy with green hair and three swords.

Oh! Luffy and Zoro! So she found them after all, that's good. Fate must really want her on his crew. What fate wanted for Nick was a little less clear, but at least with them here, his chances of survival increased significantly.

He would take what he could get.

"Hm, who are you?" Mohji questioned, staring at the quivering old man on the ground. The furry pirate looked around before sighting the spear on the ground. Two and two must have equaled four in his mind, as his stare turned into a glare.

"Don't tell me you were trying to hurt my Ritchie?" he asked. Mayor Boodle didn't give an answer, at least not one that was coherent. It was more like the incest baby of stutter and mutter.

Ritchie, the narc that he is, confirmed Mohji's suspicions with a growl.

"I knew it! Don't think you'll get away with it!" he snarled. He then spotted Chouchou, struggling to get to his feet. "I almost forgot about you. Haven't learned your lesson yet I see? Don't worry, everyone comes around eventually."

Nick desperately wanted to make a sex joke about people cumming around, but alas, he was being choked out. If he managed to survive this, he would need a serious training montage so crap like this didn't happen again.

"Don't you lay a hand on Chouchou you fiend!" yelled the mayor, who seemed to have found his balls somewhere. Mohji turned to look at the Boodle once more, and a vicious and cruel thought entered his brain.

"You seem to care about this little mongrel I see. It warms my heart to see a fellow animal lover… Unfortunately, both you and he have crossed me, so you must be punished, and I just thought of the perfect punishment. You see, it's Ritchie's lunchtime, and while I was planning on just feeding him one of this guy's legs, I don't think that will be enough, do you? No I didn't think so either. So I decided…"

"He could use an appetizer. That little mutt should do nicely."

Mohji let out a boisterous laugh, while everyone in the courtyard stared in shock. Even Nick, who was glaring at him from his back on the ground. It didn't look like he made any friends with that statement, no siree.

"Don't you dare!" yelled Boodle impotently. Mohji just laughed, highly amused by the empty threats of the old man. After all, what could he do?

"Go on Ritchie, it's snack time!"

The lion grinned at his master's words, sauntering up to the growling dog, and used his claws to pick him up by the scruff of his neck. It would have been rather impressive, if it wasn't about to eat an innocent dog.

"Luffy, you have to do something," pleaded Nami. Luffy seemed to agree with the sentiment, as stepped forward with a determined look in his eyes, "Right!"

"Hang on," interrupted Zoro, gazing at the scene impassively. His eyes were trained on the struggling Chouchou, right hand gripping his three swords tightly. Luffy and Nami turned to look at the swordsman, one in curiosity, and the other in anger.

"What, why!? If we wait any longer, that innocent little dog is going to get eaten," Nami argued, while Luffy just waited to hear the argument. If he didn't agree with Zoro, he would go ahead and save him anyway, so why not hear his First Mate out?

And boy did Luffy love thinking about how he had a First Mate now. His first real crew member. He was a real pirate Captain now! The thought sent joyful tingles all across his body.

And not like the ones he got looking at Makino when he started puberty.

"Just look, that dog isn't ready to throw in the towel just yet. Give him a chance to defend his treasure. Worst comes to worst, I cut him out of the lion's belly," Zoro explained his reasoning. Nami thought it sounded stupid, but Luffy…

Luffy placed his hand on his hat, eyes gaining a faraway look, before he seemed to come to a decision, "Right, we'll let him handle this for now."

"What are we waiting for? Are we just going to watch them die?" Nami growled, deep in her throat. Didn't these idiots get it, the dog has already lost, what was waiting going to do? And it wasn't just the dog who was in danger. She could still see Nick, clearly struggling as hard as the dog to escape their captors.

How much longer could he last? Looking him over, she could easily spot the numerous and bloody injuries. She could only imagine what happened to him to put him in that state, and it made the guilt gnaw at her even more.

They had to do something, before it was too late.

"Just shut up and watch," said Zoro. Nami turned to give him a piece of her mind, but her feminine fury was stalled by the look Zoro had on his face. And it wasn't just him, Luffy wore a similar expression.

Eyes locked on the scene in front of them, bodies ready to act in an instant. It was surprisingly intense, especially from Luffy, who tended to act like a goofball. Maybe they weren't so nonchalant about this after all…

Still, that doesn't mean she has to like it.

Looking back to the gruesome event about to happen, she saw that Ritchie the lion was holding Chouchou above his head, mouth wide open and tongue hanging to one side, a pool of drool forming beneath him.

"Bon Appétit! Ahahaha!" cheered Mohji. At his encouragement, Ritchie dropped Chouchou into his mouth.

"No! Chouchou!" cried Boodle, as Mohji continued to laugh. Nami closed her eyes, not wanting to watch anymore. However, a strange noise drew her attention back to the scene in front of her.

It was Ritchie who was making the noise. Something between a gag and a whine of pain. Kind of like if you ate spicy wings on the extra spicy side. The kind where you get your name on a plaque for finishing the plate.

"What's wrong Ritchie!?" yelled Mohji, as everyone continued to watch the lion. Tears formed in his eyes, before he opened his maw and stuck out his tongue. There, dangling on the tip, was none other than Chouchou, jaw firmly clamped around Ritchie's pink appendage. There was a bit of blood dribbling down it as well.

That little dog really had some bite to him.

"No, Ritchie!" cried Mohji, as the rest of the crowd cheered the little dog on.

"Yeah! Show him who's boss doggy!"

"Hmph, thought so. I knew that dog still had some fight in him."

"I-I can't believe it. That little guy is really something."

"Chouchou! I'm so glad you're safe!"

Nick wanted to cheer with them as well, but he only managed to sound like a dying asthmatic. Oh well, it was the thought that counts.

Ritchie was having a terrible time. His day started off pretty good. He got to eat some choice meats, bask in the sun, drink some rum, and throw a pointy object at a guy. It was all going so well…

Until the cannon that is. Somehow, the guy they had tied up for the party game managed to escape. That alone would sour the mood. But not only did he escape, he used their own cannon against them, utterly ruining his soft and silky fur.

How would he get his harem of lionesses now? His dream was ruined, and it was all his fault. He would never forgive him. That man would suffer.

And it seemed like he was. It truly made Ritchie happy to see the man suffer, even if he wasn't tormenting him personally. At least not yet, after all, he was told he could eat a leg. Justice was served.

He even got to have a little snack! Yes, things were starting to look up for old Ritchie. Unfortunately for him, he didn't take into account his snack fighting back. It was just plain rude in his opinion. But as soon as he dropped the tasty little morsel into his mouth, things once again took a turn for the worst.

It bit him. The nerve! Food was meant to be enjoyed, and Ritchie was not enjoying this. Not one little bit! But there was nothing he could do. The darn thing just wouldn't let go. Now he knows how his master felt earlier. It was funny back then, but now that it was happening to him…

Not so much.

Desperate and in pain, Ritchie began to thrash around. He ignored Mohji's repeated cries to stop. How could he? This damn thing still hadn't let go! He had to get it off before it bit his tongue off. How would he be able to clean himself if that happened? Take a bath?

Hell no!

So he continued. Ramming into things tongue first, wiping his face on the dirt, whipping his head every which way… But no matter what he tried, nothing seemed to work. He just couldn't dislodge him.

Mohji growled as he was knocked to the ground as his beloved Ritchie flailed about. He needed to stop him before it was too late. But how? He couldn't get close enough to grab the offending pooch that was chomping on him.

Normally, he would be able to use his whip to remove him by lashing the little dog over and over again until it gave up. Or died, whichever came first. But that wasn't an option at the moment, as his weapon was preoccupied at the moment, choking that thieving little bastard.

Mohji gripped the whip in his hand tighter, frustration mounting. Or at least, he tried to. But all he grabbed was dirt. Looking down confirmed that his hand was indeed empty. He must have dropped it when Ritchie slammed into him.

That wasn't good.

That was when Mohji picked up on a sound behind him. It was the sound of a chain smoker approaching, taking slow, heavy steps, and deep, desperate breaths. There was only one person who it could be.

Before Mohji could process his thoughts, something wrapped around his neck. Something familiar. Something he used every day.

His whip.

"Hey there… pal. You and I… need to have a little… chat."

It was him! That bastard Nick. Mohji would have cursed him out, but he was struggling to breathe. The tables have been turned it seems, or rather, the table was flipped over.

Nami and the others were surprised by the turn of events, each of them believing Nick was out of the fight. It seems they were wrong.

"Huh, guy's tougher than he looks," mentioned Zoro, watching the scene with a raised eyebrow.

"Right? He'll make a great crewmate," Luffy mentioned with a laugh.

Zoro raised an eyebrow at this, "The hell are you talking about? He's joining the crew too?" He was a bit shocked that recruiting was going so well. Their first island as a pirate crew and they already had two new members? His Captain must have the luck of the devil on his side.

"Shishishi, he's Nami's friend," Luffy said, as if that explained anything. It did, but not really. But rather than make a big fuss about it, Zoro just shrugged his shoulders and accepted the situation.

Nami was watching what was happening, almost mesmerized. How was Nick standing with those injuries? She figured he was tough, but this was ridiculous. It was also kind of hot…

Her face lit up as that thought entered her mind. Where did that come from? Sure he was easy on the eyes, but she's met plenty of those types before, so why was he any different? What made him so special?

She didn't have an answer to those questions, and it wasn't the time to find them. So for now, she would ignore the heat in her face and the flutter in her chest. She was also ignoring Luffy saying they were part of his crew. It was temporary, just a deal, nothing more.

Back with Nick, he was almost gleeful as he choked the life out of Mohji. Even if every part of his broken body disagreed with the action, Nick didn't care. He would have his revenge.

His eyes drifted over to the lion, who was still freaking out. He needed to be stopped before he could do any serious damage to Chouchou. It was only a matter of time until he was flung off, killed, and eaten.

Something Nick didn't want to happen. Looking at his captive, an idea came to his mind. A brilliant and stupid idea. He would kill two birds with one stone, or rather, he would use one mother fucker to smack another mother fucker.

"You know… you and your crew… really showed me a good time. So it's only right… I return the favor!"

Mohji's eyes widened. Afterall, their idea of a good time was killing, raping, and pillaging. Not necessarily in that order. So being shown the same courtesy his crew showed him…

Did not bode well.

Nick wasn't sure he could pull off what he wanted to do, especially in his current state, but he was still going to try. He was really banking on the power of anime, for that was his only hope.

With his mind settled, he put his plan of attack into action. He gripped the whip firmly in his hands and pulled with all his might. Which was less impressive than Nick was willing to admit. You know, pride and all that. But in this case, it was just enough.

Mohji was launched off his feet from the force, and Nick began spinning him round and around. Faster and faster he spun, creating a whirlwind around them.

Now that he had enough momentum, all Nick had to do was wait for the lion to get in range, and then, bam! He would wallop him in the head with his furry master.

He needed to be patient, but his strength was waning. How many second winds could one guy have? He could only offer praise to the gods of anime. Long may they reign.

After nearly a minute, Nick's arms were burning. Like someone poured lava into his veins or trying a six-hour cross fit session after being a flabby fuck for years. It was painful, excruciating, and oh so satisfying.

Not so much for Mohji, who was sick to his stomach

"S-stop it! I'm going to… going to… blargh."

Ritchie's frenzied form finally halted as a repulsive and odorous slime slapped him in the face.

Now! This was his chance!

He would need to use up a considerable amount of luck to pull this off. Hopefully he would have enough for the real threats that would come later. It would suck to use it all up against Buggy and his crew, but beggars can't be choosers.

And he was begging.

"This is it Mohji! Time to put you down!"

"No, wait!"

With a final yell, Nick swung Mohji into a high arc in the air, keeping the momentum from the spinning, and slammed him headfirst into the lion's skull, making him bite his tongue. Both of their eyes popped out, and time seemed to slow down.

Seeing this, Chouchou finally relented, and released Ritchie from his grasp. This seemed to be some kind of signal, as they slowly crumbled to the ground, unconscious.

Seeing this, Nick gave a roar of victory, followed by a howl from Chouchou. They did it, they won. They beat the furry.

The people watching were in various states of disbelief and awe. Luffy had sparkles in his eyes, "So cool!" he cheered.

Nick turned to face Nami and the others, only to lose his strength as he turned, collapsing to the ground, like a puppet whose strings had been cut. It was rather undignified.

"Nick!" Nami yelled as she ran up to her fallen friend, concern written on her face. She fell to her knees as she reached him, turning him onto his back.

"Nick! Are you alright? Nick!" she yelled desperately, shaking him. Now that she was closer, she could see the injuries for what they were. It was bad, real bad. She wasn't sure how he was still alive. There was so much blood…

Nick groaned as he forced his eyes open, his vision blurry, only to see an angel hovering over him. She was so beautiful it was hard to put into words. It sucked that he was dead, but at least he went out on a win. So there's that.

He was sad he wouldn't get to go on an adventure with everyone, but them's the brakes. He at least got to see Nami in real life, so he could count that as another win. And now he gets to go to heaven with an angel that was just as beautiful as her.

With big, perky boobs…

Luscious orange hair…

A perfect hourglass figure…

Wait a minute… This angel was looking awfully familiar. His vision started to clear and the angel turned into someone he recognized. It was Nami, and she looked like she was close to tears.

"Nami?" he croaked out. Said girl gave a smile, wiping tears from her eyes. Was she crying over him? But why?

"Glad to see you're not dead," she mentioned with a smile. One which he returned as best he could.

"Not yet, but the jury's still deliberating on it," he snarked back. Even that amount of speaking hurt his abused throat.

"Idiot, what were you thinking? Taking them on by yourself," Nami said, her relieved smile turning into a glare. How dare he make her worry. She should up his debt for that.

"Sorry. Didn't want them to hurt you," he said, making her glare lessen. How could she stay mad at him for that? WIth a sigh, her smile returned. Guess she wouldn't charge him for the worry after all.

Not this time anyway.

"Just don't do it again, you got that. Keep making me worry like this, and I'll start charging you."

Nick paled even further, which considering he looked like a corpse already, was saying something. "Anything but that."

His pleas fell on deaf ears, as the two continued to lightly bicker. With the battle over, Luffy, Zoro, and Boodle approached.

"Can't say I saw that coming. This guy is tougher than he looks," mentioned Zoro. He wasn't the strongest guy, clearly, but to do what he did, in the condition he was in… Yeah, he would make a good crewmate. At the very least, he could take a punch.

"Hahaha, I know right? I thought he was a goner for sure," said Luffy. He was happy though, that he was proven incorrect. The guy seemed pretty strong, so having him on the crew would be awesome.

Boodle himself, was shocked someone standing on death's door, was able to beat one of Buggy's top crew members. It was inconceivable to him. Just what were they feeding kids these days?

"Nick!"

Their thoughts were interrupted by Nami's shout. Quickening their pace, they saw that said man's eyes were closed, but he was still breathing. He was alive, at least for now.

"Calm down young lady, your friend has only passed out. Can't say I blame him, considering those injuries. Let's get him inside to rest," said Boodle, resting his hand on her shoulder. Nami only nodded in agreement.

A bark caught their attention. Chouchou was standing by Mohji, a suspicious puddle beneath his head, and the dog looked rather proud of himself. He barked again, and pointed his head toward the pet shop.

"It seems Chouchou is offering his home so he can rest," explained Boodle.

"Makes sense. They were comrades in arms after all," said Zoro, as he picked up Nick and flung him over his shoulder.

"Hey, be careful with him!" yelled Nami.

"Yeah, yeah."

Luffy laughed happily as they followed Chouchou, Nami and Zoro arguing as they walked. His crew was looking like it was going to be a whole lot of fun, and he couldn't wait for the next adventure.