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Do you remember your 21st birthday? Personally I can remember up to the point where I entered that gay bar. I was pretty hammered by that point, but let me tell you, I was popular. All the guys wanted to dance with me. Of course I was too drunk to realize that women shouldn't look like Gimli.

I vaguely recall leaving the bar, catcalls and whistles behind me, and needing to take a piss. So, as any responsible drunk would do, I headed down the nearest alley. Or some unfortunate person's home. Still pretty fuzzy on that.

The next part of my journey to take a leak is completely black. An endless void of can't remember jack shit. But according to dependable sources, I emptied my bladder on some important guy's statue. Considering the thing was like two stories tall and laying on its side, how was I supposed to know?

What happened next was completely uncalled for in my opinion. This huge guy, like, bigger than The Rock huge, swings an ax at me! Who does that? It's just a little bit of pee pee, nothing to murder a guy over. And the worst part…

I pissed all over myself.

Thankfully I managed to drunkenly stagger away from the ax-wielding maniac, but that was small comfort to a guy covered in his own shameful liquid. One of the guys with the big fucker must have whacked me good, because everything went black.

That's right, I got knocked the fuck out. By a goon! Not even the main boss. That's just sad.

So now I find myself in a cell with a killer headache and still covered in piss. I hope that doesn't turn into some kind of running gag. Regardless, being sober sure helps recognize shapes and colors. For instance, this cell I'm in looks like it came straight out of the 1800's.

This would be way cooler if I was part of a tour group, but I'm pretty sure that's not the case. Though I was pretty hammered last night… Either way the next logical thing to do was…

"Let me outta here goddamnit!"

If you guessed screaming uselessly at people who weren't there, then congratulations, you guessed correctly. You get a cookie.

As for me, after about ten minutes of making an ass out of myself, I took a break. Who knew you could get so breathless from just yelling? It's not like I'm in bad shape or anything, it's just that yelling at a wall is exhausting.

Looking around my dark, dingy, moldy cell I couldn't spot anything that would help me escape. There was nothing that provided leverage so I could Pirates of the Caribbean out of here. I could do nothing but wait.

And wait I did. For three days. Three fucking days. Stuck in a small 8x8 cell for three days with nothing to do was maddening. I tried to do the Iroh workout, but lost interest on day two. That being said, I did get to meet my captors. Apparently I pissed off the marines.

Speaking of piss, I'm still covered in it. At least it was dry now.

I asked the so-called marines how long they planned to keep me here, but all they would say is, "Until the Captain decides your punishment."

That doesn't sound foreboding at all. And I let them know that. By cursing at them until they left me to my ever decreasing sanity. But on day four, everything changed. That was the day I met a cat burglar.

It started like any other day, push-ups, sit-ups and a jaunty circus jingle. It didn't have any words, and only added to my slowly creeping madness, but if I went mad I was taking them with me! If only they were around to dive off the deep end with me. But I'm still alone and covered in… well you know what.

The sound of something large crashing was new though. Everything around me shook, and loose dirt came tumbling down on me. Was pee not enough? Was I being punished for something? I was a good person… usually… sometimes. I mean I donated to charity that one time.

Okay can't rule out divine punishment, that is definitely a possibility. Especially after what I did to that one statue of Mary. But that doesn't explain the rumbling I heard or the screams that followed. Come to think of it, that sounded an awful lot like that one guy. Helmeppy? Heldodo? Helfrodo?

Aw who cares, names are stupid. But something was up, my super secret Batman senses were tingling. At least that's what I'm telling myself anyway. This could be my big chance at freedom, so I had to use all of my cunning, all of my intelligence to find a way out of here.

"Let me out of here you butt sniffing assholes!"

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Nami growled in frustration as she stormed down the halls of the Marine base. Not only was the whole trip a complete bust, the map she was looking to steal had been pilfered by Buggy of all people, but some idiot was causing a ruckus, making the whole base go on high alert. Honestly, she didn't like kicking guys in the balls, but what choice did she have? She couldn't take them down fairly after all.

Well at least with them all distracted by whatever it was, the secret passage beneath the cells should be empty. That little nugget was the only good thing she found in the captain's office. Apparently he used it to smuggle goods he didn't want any do-gooders learning about. And they call her a crook.

She slowly made her way through the base, before coming to a large, metal door. A large, metal, unlocked door. Well that made things easy.

The door opened with a ragged squeak, like an angry roided out mouse. She flinched at the loud sound. Why did everything sound so much louder when you were trying to be sneaky?

Making her way through the dungeon she stopped cold as a sound reached her ears. It was part up-beat, part horrifying, and part… something. She wasn't sure what it was but she knew she didn't like it. Unfortunately the music, if it could even be called that, was coming from the direction she needed to go. She steeled herself and made her way further in.

Immediate regret. Not only did the sound get louder and more obnoxious, it was so horribly off key that it was nearly nauseating. No wonder there were no Marines here. Even without whatever was going on, she doubted she would have found anyone in this hell hole.

Just what kind of prisoner are they keeping down here? Shaking her head at those thoughts, as they would do her no good, she steeled her resolve once more and continued onward, to whatever horror awaited her.

As she crept ever closer to Satan's favorite musical, not only were her ears bleeding, but the smell. Oh god, the smell. It was like every marine used this place as a latrine and nobody believed in sanitation. Fucks were just not given.

It was close, she could feel it. The hairs on the back of her neck stood at attention. Almost like she was being watched. She shuddered and shook those thoughts from her head. No need to freak herself out. That horrible music and stench was most likely nothing.

"-Afro circus, afro circus, poki-dot, poki-dot, poki-dot, afro!"

Nami shuddered again. Dear god it started singing. The "duh duh duh-duh-duh-duh duh duh duh-duh" was bad enough, but somehow, it learned english. And why poki-dots? Why afros!? No, no it doesn't matter, just ignore it. It will go away if you ignore it.

She was wrong. She was oh so very wrong. It just kept going. On and on and on it went. She tried to pass by the cell it was coming from. She had absolutely no desire to speak with whatever eldritch abomination could produce sounds like that, no matter how vaguely human they sounded. But it noticed her.

"Hey you!" it shouted at her. Nami wasn't too proud to admit she froze in her tracks, fear gripping her like a vice. She slowly turned her head to see what cruel fate had in store for her. But to her surprise, it was only some hobo.

Within the cell stood a fairly tall man with short brown hair, sapphire colored eyes and five o'clock shadow from five days ago. His clothes were disheveled and smudged with who knows what. At least she found the stench, and the singing stopped, so at least she was up by one.

The man in the cage, meanwhile, couldn't help but to stare at the beautiful ginger in front of him. Slim waist, wide hips, and breasts that looked ready to pop out and sing show tunes.

Thank you Santa.

He had no idea how long they just stared at each other, not knowing what to say, but the awkward silence stretched on for an eternity. Maybe he could have chosen his first words to her a little more carefully and not screamed at her like a demonic clown, but in his defense, her sudden appearance shocked him. Now all he had to do was convince this beautiful girl to help him out. Easy, right?

"So, you come here often?"

"Shit, shit, shit, what kind of dumbass line was that? She looks just as surprised as me that someone who could master the complicated art of speaking, would use it in such a way that belied a simple understanding of english. In other words, she most likely thinks I'm a moron."

These, and other self deprecated thoughts ran rampant through his head as Nami just stared at him like he was a moron. "Are you a moron?" she questioned, all previous fear forgotten.

"Well, that confirms that," he thought. He cleared his throat before responding. "Sorry about that, it's just been awhile since I've seen someone. Pretty sure they forgot about me. Names Nicholas, but you can call me Nick," he held out his hand through the bars for her to shake.

She only raised an eyebrow in response, "Uh huh." Did he really think she would touch that filthy hand? That she couldn't smell that eye watering smell? No way in hell was she touching him willingly.

He seemed to realize that and retracted his hand awkwardly. "So, um, I don't suppose you could let me out of here could you?" he asked. This was the chance he'd been waiting for, being rescued by a beautiful woman almost made the whole ordeal worth it.

"And why would I do that?" she questioned back. Her arms crossed over her ample chest, creating a tantalizing visage. "No, bad Nick, bad. Stop staring at those mountainous peaks and convince those boobs to free you! This is your only chance." The one track mind is strong with this one.

"Out of the goodness of your heart?" The look on her face did not fill him with hope. It was blank, devoid of all life. Come to think of it, his ex had the same look on her face when she dumped him. Weird.

"I don't think so," she responded. Okay, plan A, out the window. Time to open the door for plan B.

"Ok look, there's clearly something going on outside right?" he asked, to which she nodded in confirmation. "So that means those Marine guys are running around hopped up on pissy juice. What if they find you? Can you really take them all on yourself?" She actually looked slightly contemplative, but only slightly.

"And I'm supposed to trust you? For all I know, you're a pirate and deserve whatever you get," she responded hotly. Huh, she looked cute when she was angry. No wait, focus. She thinks I'm a pirate? Seriously? Do I look like Johnny Depp?

"I'm not a pirate. Look, if you're worried about why I'm in here, it was a simple misunderstanding," he tried. Her cute, angry look didn't change, so he doubted she was convinced.

"A misunderstanding huh? You really expect me to believe that? I heard they're planning your execution after that guy in the courtyard. Mind explaining that, or is that a misunderstanding too?" she shot back. Did this smelly guy think she was born yesterday? You have to get up pretty early to get one over on Nami.

He looked absolutely miserable at her question. He was really hoping to avoid this topic, but oh well. In for a penny. "Yes, yes it is. It was a simple matter of… alcohol induced public urination in an undesignated area."

"What?" she asked bewildered.

"I got drunk and pissed on a statue, okay! Apparently they take great offense to that here. It wasn't even a religious one this time," he mumbled that last part. At least he didn't think it was.

Nami could only stare in bewilderment. This wasn't a situation she was prepared for. How does one prepare for it? She closed her eyes and rubbed her head in irritation. Honestly, she met the weirdest people sometimes.

"So, will you help me out?" he asked again. Nami opened her eyes and stared at him for a moment. Maybe he could be useful. It was true the whole base was freaking out, and the noise above hadn't gotten any quieter. They would come down here sooner or later and as stupid and pathetic as the guy in front of her was, he didn't deserve to die for it.

Probably…

"Alright fine," she sighed, exasperated. He let out a little cheer in excitement. "But before that, I think we should discuss monetary compensation for services rendered."

He stopped his cheer at her voice. Money? He had to trade his life for money? Well it was better than dying. But before he could voice his opinion on the matter she spoke again.

"A million Beris ought to do it."

He nearly choked on his own spit. A million what? Nick had no idea what the hell berries had to do with anything, but apparently she wanted a million of them. Shit, he had no idea what to do. Even if he still had his wallet he only had about $50 in it. Not nearly enough to buy a million berries.

He panicked for a moment, but forced himself to calm down. Maybe he could convince her of an I.O.U of some kind. He convinced her to let him out, even though she was going to bleed him dry for it, so maybe he could convince her of this.

"I er, I don't exactly have enough for that," he told her tentatively. "Maybe we can work out a deal?" He wasn't sure how she would respond. Would she leave him here to rot?

"Hmm I suppose. You'll just have to work it off then. I've been looking for a paw- I mean a partner. Don't let me down now,' she grinned at him.

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"Hey wait, did she just call me a pawn. Bitch. Well at least I can get out of here now, can't complain too much."

"Oh, and you need a shower, like, pronto."

"Double bitch."

Nami made quick work of the jail cell, showing burglar skills dwarves would pay a mountain of gold for. Soon enough, Nick could taste the sweet air of freedom. It tasted like he smelled. Mostly because he was basically an indentured servant.

Nami looked at the man up and down again. Besides the smell, which could be taken care of, he wasn't so bad. Athletic, fairly good looking, overall not bad. But now wasn't the time. They had to make their escape.

"Alright follow me, the exit's that way," she said, moving toward the opposite way she came in. That worked for him. He quickly fell into step behind her, eager to rid himself of this place, only to come up short as she came to a sudden stop.

"I'm gonna need you to take a few steps back," she stated, turning to look at him while plugging her nose. Good God, how could anything smell so bad? Like a rotten egg baking on a pile of garbage. Nami really hoped he would be able to wash it off, otherwise it would be a short partnership.

"I get it, I smell!" he yelled back. He knew he was stanky, she didn't need to remind him of that fact. A good scrub down and he would smell like a bed of roses. Maybe… It did kind of cling to you.

"Keep your voice down idiot. Or do you want to go back to your cage?" she hissed at him. Honestly it might not even matter. His stench could be smelt for miles, so they could probably track them. They wouldn't be able to use dogs though, they might die.

Nicholas grumbled to himself but refrained from speaking. No need to bite the hand that feeds you after all. Or freed in this also gave her some distance, as to not offend her by way of odor.

They steadily made their way through the dingy, cavernous halls. Thankfully with the ongoing ruckus outside there weren't any patrols they had to worry about. The only real problem was finding the entrance to the secret passage.

Thankfully, Nami had that map. "It should be pretty close. Hmm, nope, not there, not there either… Ah-hah found it!" she exclaimed joyfully. She pressed down on something Nicholas couldn't see, and a tunnel opened up in front of them, the wall sliding back and to the side.

Nicholas would have helped her search but there were a couple problems. One, she wouldn't let him get within five feet of her, due to obvious reasons. And two…

She had to bend over to hit the button and that was just plain distracting. That skirt she was wearing could barely contain the firm bubble that was her ass.

"How is it possible to have an ass that perfect? Did she have work done? And we can't forget about her boobs. It might be hard to see down here in this hell hole, but even a blind man could see those things."

Thankfully Nami couldn't hear his thoughts, and they continued without incident. The real problem reared its ugly head when they neared the actual exit. Not only were there marines stationed there, but they were also blocking the door leading to salvation and bathtubs.

Which at this point were pretty much the same thing.

All three of them sat around a plain, wooden table nestled in an alcove only feet from the door. There was no way either of them could sneak past them.

"So what do we do now?" Nicholas whispered to his lovely companion. Sure he could probably take them out, having trained as a boxer for over a decade, not to mention all the scrapes he got into over the years, but he wasn't sure he could do it quietly.

Fighting was like sex after all, if somebody isn't screaming, you're doing it wrong.

"I thought you could handle it tough guy. Or was all your talk earlier just hot air?" she replied. Nami raised an eyebrow at him, giving him an unimpressed stare. What did she let him out for if not for this exact reason? Well, besides being a meat shield that is.

"Oh it's on now bitch. Question my pride as a man? My very manhood itself? I'll show you."

"Fine, just stay here and watch. They won't know what hit 'em."

Boy, his manhood sure got him into a lot of problems.

"Ugh, that smell is getting worse. I can't wait for the captain to kill that guy so we can air this place out," said goon #1. Okay, that guy gets his ass kicked first. Don't these people know he doesn't want to smell like this? It wasn't a choice he made damn it!

"I know right. A rotting corpse smells better than this guy. I just can't believe it reaches all the way down here," goon #2 says. Or maybe it was #3. Who knows, all goons look alike.

Either way, these bastards were going to pay, and they just gave him an idea. With an evil grin, he slowly and quietly approached the unaware Marines. Thankfully, goon #1 and #2 were right next to each other, meaning he could take them both out at once. Now he just needs a catchphrase to yell while doing it.

"Surprise bitch!" Glorious.

Nami didn't seem impressed by it, but who cares. The look on their faces was priceless. Taking them all by surprise he grabbed the two nearest marines and…

Shoved them headfirst into his armpits.

Nami stared at the struggling Marines in horror. The stench was bad enough at a distance, she couldn't imagine what it must be like at ground zero. She put her hand to her mouth to hold in the vomit, just thinking about it was making her sick.

But her discomfort was nothing compared to the trauma being experienced by them. They flailed wildly, desperately trying to escape, but it was all for naught. Nicholas held them firm, laughing maniacally, "Payback you mother fuckers!"

The last Marine could only stand and watch, unable to bring himself to help his comrades. Already his eyes were starting to water. He couldn't bring himself to get any closer. He just couldn't! They would understand, they had to!

Within a few moments it was over. The two Marines lay slumped on the ground, out cold and foaming at the mouth, Nicholas standing over them triumphantly. With a satisfied smile, he slowly turned to face the remaining Marine, who was shaking nervously.

"D-Don't you come any closer. I'm warning you!" he screamed, voice cracking. He didn't want to befall the same fate as his friends. He drew his saber and held it in front of him defiantly.

Nicholas wasn't new to fighting against bladed weapons, knives were pretty common in a street fight after all, so he had some experience with it, and what was a sword besides a bigger knife?

"Man, where the hell am I? These guys don't look like any Marines I've ever seen, and those jail cells look like they belong in some kind of movie. Oh well, no use over thinking it. My first priority is to get the hell out of here, finding out where I am comes next."

With those thoughts he started toward his opponent with a relaxed gait. Marine goon #3 backed away nervously, until his back hit a wall. He looked back at it briefly before turning to the man approaching him. If he didn't stop him from escaping, Captain Morgan would have his head.

Gathering up his courage, and holding his breath, he charged at Nicholas. He swung down only to hit air. "Too slow," said Nicholas from beside him. Before the Marine could lift his weapon, a fist was lodged in his face. Teeth, blood and spit left his mouth as he flew backward.

Nicholas stared at his hand in astonishment, "I know I hit hard, but not that hard. What the hell?" Punching people was nothing new to him. Hell, knocking people out with one punch was nothing new to him. But actually sending someone flying with a punch, now that was new.

"Just what in the actual fuck is going on? First I end in jail for public urination. Nothing new there, but since when do the Marines have the authority to arrest a US citizen? Let alone execute them? Something is definitely wrong here."

"Second, since when have I been this strong? Dad was a heavyweight champion and taught me everything I know, but even he's never sent someone flying back 10 feet with a punch. I mean, he sent that hobo flying pretty far, but that was with a car. I've never been able to beat him, not once, so how can I suddenly be stronger than him?"

Unknowing of Nicholas's inner turmoil, Nami approached him, with reluctance of course. He still needed a bath after all.

"Hey, not bad. Guess you weren't all talk after all. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea to let you out," she grinned. This was actually turning out to be a pretty useful trip. She may not have got the map she wanted, but she did get a capable lackey. Guess everything did have a silver lining.

Nicholas puffed out his chest, previous thoughts forgotten and manhood restored. "Of course, what did you expect?"

"I was pretty sure you were going to die," she responded blandly.

Wait, what? "Than what was your plan? Just let them kill me?" he asked in confusion. Surely she didn't mean to sacrifice him, right? What kind of person would do that?

"Of course not. While you had them distracted, I was going to sneak up on them and give them a good whack on the head," she explained. Though if he had died it wouldn't have changed the plan all that much. They still would have been distracted, and she still would have whacked them. She would have just felt a little guilty about it is all.

"But you took them out all by yourself. Good boy."

Did she think he was a dog? Well whatever, at least they could get out now. "So what next, oh brilliant one? Can you pick the lock, cause I don't see a key."

"Just who do you think I am? There isn't a lock I can't open, I just need a minute," she stated confidently puffing out her chest. Which was just plain distracting. I mean, they bounced and jiggled for nearly five seconds. Was she doing it on purpose? Was it magic? Witchcraft? How damn it!?

She turned away and made for the door, snapping him out of his thoughts about her boobs. "Damn those things are dangerous. I need to be careful, lest I fall for their hypnotic spell." Turning toward the fallen Marines, he had an idea. Nami should appreciate it as well.

Speaking of said cat burglar, she was carefully picking the lock. It was more complicated than it looked at first, and she only had one pair of lock picks on her. She didn't want to break them, so she was being very methodical about it.

Even so, it didn't take long to hear that telltale sign she loved to hear of a lock being opened. With a haughty smirk she turned around, "See I told you I could-WHY ARE YOU NAKED!?"

Nami's face turned bright red, whether from anger or embarrassment was anyone's guess. She couldn't fathom what was wrong with this guy. First the singing and now he's a nudist.

"Hmm, you say something?" he questioned, channeling his inner Kakashi. Turning to face her, Nami was treated to quite the view. A view she never asked for but a view none-the-less.

"You damn well heard me, and turn back around! I don't want to see that!" she yelled. Nami figured he was pretty muscular under all that baggy clothing, and wasn't opposed to a little bit of eye candy, but what she got was a whole lot more.

"Couldn't you just face the other way? Or are you enjoying the show?" he asked with a smirk, noting that she in fact, did not turn away. He also shook his hips, making Little Nicky rock back and forth.

She promptly turned around, face redder than before, "Don't try and change the subject. Why did you take your clothes off, huh? If you think I'm that kind of girl you're dead wrong," she practically growled out embarrassed. If he so much as put one move her he would join the Marines on the floor.

"Calm down would you? I just thought it would be a good idea to change clothes. Might help with the smell," he answered, putting on the marine's pants. Thankfully, goon #2 was about his size.

"Oh, that's actually not a bad idea. I'm surprised you thought of it," she snarked, calming down. It wouldn't get rid of the smell completely, but it couldn't hurt.

"Yeah, yeah. Anyway, you get that door open?" he asked, putting the Marine's sleeveless shirt over his head. He would have preferred to shower before putting on clean clothes, but beggars can't be choosers. Having shoes was also a blessing. They were a little small, but better than nothing. "Oh, and you can turn back around now."

Nami did so, with a bit of reluctance, not fully trusting that he was properly clothed. Thankfully he was, so now she could stop thinking about how IT looked like the muscular tail of a jaguar, lazily swaying back and forth.

"Of course I did. My skills as a thief are first rate you know," she stated proudly. After eight years of constantly robbing pirates, she has gotten pretty good at it. You should always take pride in your work, and Nami was a very proud woman.

"So you're a thief huh? That explains a lot," Nicholas muttered. Not only did it explain her greed, and the subsequent bartering for his life, but it also explained why she was so good at picking locks. Good thing he didn't have anything worth stealing.

Cause the Marines already stole it.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Nami questioned. She didn't need this guy judging her for her choices. Besides, she only stole from pirates and criminals.

And the Marines.

And stupid people in general.

Okay so maybe she wasn't the honorable thief she portrays herself to be, but in her defense, the Marines are corrupt as a general rule, and stupid people deserve it. So there.

"Nothing, just explains your skill set is all. Not like I have room to judge," Nicholas casually responded. Nami didn't really seem like a bad person, per say, and he had no idea of her backstory or what led her to become a thief in the first place.

"Oh really? So what kind a person am I traveling with," she asked with a coy smile. It was the type of smile that poets would write about and artists would drive themselves mad trying to recreate.

In her humble opinion anyway.

Nicholas let out a bark of laughter, "You really want to hear my sordid past now? I'd be happy to tell you some stories, I have a particularly good one about a goat named Charlie, but why don't we save the small talk for later and get out of here?"

"You have a point," she said. Nami did find herself a bit curious about the man she was traveling with, but not enough to stay in this place. She walked toward the now unlocked door and swung it wide open, "Come on, hurry up. And grab that torch."

Nicholas chuckled slightly at the haughty woman. But before he left, he grabbed a few of the firearms the Marines had on them. A pistol and a rifle. They weren't anything fancy and woefully outdated, but they could come in handy. He also made sure to snatch a sword. He had no idea how to use it, but if sources were to be believed, you just had to stick 'em with the pointy end. Even he could do that.

But that wasn't all. Hanging on a hook was a Marine coat. He couldn't see it from the angle he was at before, and now that he could, it would be commandeered as restitution for his unlawful imprisonment.

Putting it on, it reached down to his ankles, a near perfect fit. It was surprisingly comfortable as well, being made from finer materials than his other pilfered clothing. At least he assumed so. Nicholas just wished he had a mirror, wanting to see how awesome he looked. Say what you want about the Marines, they at least had style.

"What are you doing? I thought you wanted to get out of here," said Nami. After realizing she wasn't being followed, she turned back around in an angry huff. If he thought he could ditch her and get out of paying her back, he had another thing coming.

She wasn't expecting him to be wearing a Marine officer's coat, twisting and turning to try and get a good look at himself.

"Nami, look what I found, cool huh?" he said with boyish excitement. Nami would never admit it out loud, but he looked kind of cute like that. Instead, she forced a look of irritation on her face and scolded him.

"Fantastic, you look like a real Marine. Can we just get out of here already?"

He pouted at her response. Girls just didn't get it. Oh well. He knew he looked awesome, and that was all that mattered.

And with that, the trek to freedom began anew. The path they were on sloped downward at a constant angle, and seemed to curve to the right slightly. According to Nami, it should open up at sea level. Apparently this Captain Morgan fellow used it for smuggling illegal goods, and the Marines from before must have been in on it, like a bunch of crooked New York cops.

"So how do you know all this anyway?" he questioned. He very much doubted this was common intel, so she had to have learned it from somewhere.

"From Captain Morgan himself. While I was in his office, I just so happened to find it in his desk," she stated.

"Wait, he just left incriminating evidence lying around?" he asked. How could anyone be that stupid? It was on the level of a redneck incest baby. Now he feels even worse at being incarcerated by them.

"Yup. The Marines aren't filled with the brightest of individuals."

"That seems to be putting it mildly," he thought. Well it works out for them. If Morgan wasn't so stupid, they might have had a problem escaping. The commotion from earlier probably helped too.

"So what were you looking for in his office?" he questioned. The path they were on finally flattened out, and the torch he was carrying flickered slightly from a slight breeze. They must be near the exit.

"What makes you think I was looking for something?" she asked back. She could see a light ahead, and it wasn't the flickering of torchlight. It was the sweet glimmer of sunlight. It was about damn time too, she was sick of this place an hour ago.

"You said it yourself, you're a thief. I highly doubt you snuck in here for no reason." Well, she could have, but that would be stupid, and for all her attitude, he didn't think she was stupid. Sexy and a bit snobby, yes, but not stupid.

"Alright if you must know, I was looking for a map," she responded. They had made it to the exit. Nami placed her hand in front of her face to block the sunlight from her eyes, and enjoyed the warmth it brought. She didn't realize how cold she was until now, and was even more grateful to be out of that place.

"A map?" he asked, standing beside her. With his fancy new getup she could tolerate the smell that lingered, but he would still need a bath. Much like his companion, he was enjoying the warmth of the sun, letting out a sound of content. People were not meant to live underground.

"Mhm, a map to the Grand Line. With that, I could earn 100,000,000 Beris in no time," she told him. Taking a look at her, she seemed to be in a far away place. Her eyes were glossy and unfocused, deep in thought.

So that's why she seemed like Mr. Krabs. He didn't know the reason, and felt like it wasn't his place to ask. At least, not yet. But she needed the money for something, and Nicholas didn't think it was for something selfish. But thinking about it for a second…

Her story sure sounded familiar. And getting a better look at her in the sunlight, she looked awfully familiar, and even more beautiful than down in the dungeons. And the darkness was doing nothing for her figure, cause goddamn she was fine.

Wait a moment… Nami… 100,000,000 Berries… Boobs…

"Holy shit you're Nami."

That seemed to snap her out of her revere, as she turned to look at her now slack jawed companion in confusion. "Uh, yeah, I already told you that. Don't tell me the sun fried your brains?"

But he could only stare at her in wonder. She was Nami. Nami for God's sake! The wet dream of fanboys everywhere. But, but how? This shouldn't be possible. Isekai bullshit wasn't real.

Or was it? Was he dreaming? Dead? Drunk? Drunk-dead? Wait, was that even a thing? Ah, who cares. The important thing was…

He was in One Piece.