Nick smiled as he watched Nami run away. He hated to see her go but loved to watch her leave… Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, this was not the time to be thinking about honky tonks or badonkadonks.

He gazed at the angry pirates in front of him and the even angrier bear. That was still on fire. Did it not care that it was on fire? Was it even aware of it? What kind of bear is this?

Questions for later, right now he needed to survive. Though that was looking like quite the tall order. Five assholes and a bear walk into a bar…

There was no punchline, that was just the situation he was in.

"So, you ready to die asshole?" asked one of the pirates. He was a big, fat thing, shirtless and hairy, with a tattoo of a heart with "mom" written in it. It was gross and sweet at the same time.

"Listen, fellas, I think we got off on the wrong foot here. So why don't we just take a second, put the bear out, and we can talk this out like gentlemen," Nick replied. He thought it was a perfectly reasonable request, and put rather eloquently. He did, however, forget that he was talking to pirates. Reasonable and eloquent aren't words they know.

"The only thing that'll be getting off is me when I catch that sexy bitch of yours," said a different goon, this one tall and lanky, with eyes just a bit too close together. That made them all laugh, and the fat one's man tits jiggled like a pair of breasts Nick was oh so fond of.

He would need therapy after this. Jiggle therapy with Nami as the therapist. But Nick couldn't pay for the session so he would have to find another way to compensate her.

Ok, so Nick could understand the thirst for Nami, having been hypnotized more than once already by her, so he wasn't upset that these jagoffs wanted to bang her. No, that part he got. What pissed him off, is the thought of them forcing themselves on her.

That he couldn't let stand.

"Maybe if you're lucky, we'll keep you around long enough to watch us fuck her-" the pirate was cut off by a loud bang, a sound they were all too familiar with. It was the sound of gunfire.

Looking at the source, they could see the intruder with a smoking pistol. The one who was talking stared downward, noticing a rather alarming amount of blood coming from his chest. And then the pain hit, causing him to stagger backward, before falling on his back, never to rise again.

"I ain't no cuck asshole. And none of you motherfuckers are going to lay a finger on Nami."

The remaining three assholes and a bear could only watch in shocked disbelief as one of their own was killed. Should Nick feel bad about what he just did? Take the life of some random dude for threatening to rape Nami in front of him?

Maybe, but he didn't. He recalled the conversation he had with said girl the day before, when she asked if he really would have killed that guy. Guess he had his answer now.

"Jimmy! You'll pay for that you son of a bitch, he owed me money!" yelled the third pirate. Seems like there was no love lost between them, only a debt. Nick hoped he didn't think he was going to actually pay in his stead. Just because he killed the guy, doesn't mean they could saddle him with his debt.

Nick wasted no time and opened fire, causing the three remaining pirates to roll out of the way. They kicked over a table and hid behind it. But they were the least of his problems, because Mr. Bear took that moment to charge.

Which gave old Nicky boy an idea. If the three stooges over there thought they could hide behind a table, he was going to dissuade them of that notion. By means of an angry bear.

The bear reached him and took a swipe, one that was thankfully well telegraphed, because it was much faster than you would think. Nick decided to name the bear Beary Allen, the fastest bear alive.

Mimicking the pirates, he rolled out of the way, with only the heat from the burning fur reaching him. "Nice try, Beary! Hey, did your mama bear fuck a sloth, cause you sure are slow."

That made him mad. Beary charged again, even faster than last time. Seems he was sensitive about his mother. But that was just what Nick wanted. With a grin, he ran right toward the hiding pirates.

Jumping over the table, he gave a jaunty wave, as they looked on in confusion. Which quickly turned into fear and pain as the bear easily smashed through the table, and them along with it.

Screaming as they were knocked away, Nick continued to lead the bear on a merry chase. Ok merry might not have been the right word, because if that bear caught up to him, he was a very dead Nick. And he wanted to avoid that.

But what was he supposed to do? How in the hell was he going to beat a bear? Punch it in the nose, like a shark? Doubtful, so let's call that Plan C. He really hoped plan A would be better.

Plan B was to shoot the shit out of it. However, knowing bears from his world, it would be next to useless. He'd most likely run out of bullets long before the bear even noticed it'd been shot. The damn thing was still on fire after all.

"Think, think, think! There must be something you can do!" he thought frantically. Nothing was coming to mind however. His only hope was to escape. That settles that then. Plan A was to run like a bitch.

It was at that moment the bear decided to remind him that he was a circus bear, by jumping high into the air, and attempting to bodyslam him.

It was all he could do to dive out of the way. And not a moment too soon either. Had he been even a split second slower, he would be buried under bear taint. That wasn't how wanted his death to be recorded. Could you imagine, walking up to the Pearly Gates, Peter opening his book, and laughing hysterically at how you died? Like that bitch Aqua?

No thank you.

He took that opportunity to fire several shots into the bear, and like he thought, it did fuck all nothing. Actually, that wasn't true, it did piss off Beary even more. How that was possible was a mystery, as he seemed pretty pissed off before.

Didn't matter. What did matter, was that he had an even angrier bear trying to kill him, and he could only dodge for so long. Every swipe he evaded, every bite he avoided, sapped his dwindling energy.

It was only a matter of time. Beary didn't seem to be slowing down at all. It was the opposite in fact. Almost like Nick's exhaustion spurned him on. Was Beary a sadist? Sure seemed like it. Nick might have asked him that, if he wasn't too busy gasping for breath.

Stamina, work on it. Duly noted.

After several minutes, several long and excruciating minutes, Nick's luck ran out. He tripped over a beer bottle, and landed face first on the hardwood floor. That was the second time he face planted in this room, and he would be damned if there would be a third.

Beary seemed to have the same idea. With a savage, condescending smirk, Beary climbed onto the bar counter. Nick watched as he stood on two legs, and made a pose, like a wrestler about to dive bomb somebody.

Nick hated wrestling.

Standing on shaky legs, and getting his breathing somewhat under control, Nick faced his opponent head on, with a defiant glare. He wouldn't go quietly into the night. He would kick and scream and bitch and moan the whole damn way. Hell, he would even bite if he had to.

His opponent seemed to take his defiance as a personal insult. Kind of like the jokes he made about his bear momma. What sensitive creatures they are.

With a roar, Beary jumped into the air, somersaulting like a diver at the Olympics, and prepared to body slam him once again.

Nick had no choice now. Plan A: Run Like a Bitch, not happening. Plan B: Shoot the Shit Out of Him, pissed him off. That only left him with Plan C: Punch the Bear in the Face.

So that's what he prepared to do. He gathered all of his remaining energy into his fist, and readied his ultimate attack…

"Shoryuken!"

As the bear plummeted toward him, Nick used all of his strength and uppercutted the damn thing. However, as it turns out, Nick was not Ryu, and Beary was a 900 pound fucking grizzly bear.

The result?

K.O! You Lose!

Nick was now barely conscious underneath Beary Allen, who was finally no longer on fire. That was painful, and humiliating. Good thing there was no one around to see this.

"Good job Beary!" exclaimed a muffled voice. A voice muffled by bear taint. God damn it, he forgot about them. He thought they had been knocked out by the bear's rampage, but apparently not.

Wait, the bear's name was actually Beary? Huh, how about that.

On that note, Nick was once again made into a prisoner. This time by pirates, and not the marines. Somehow, he doubted it would be any better. At least he wasn't killed by getting tea bagged by a bear, so heaven would have to get their yucks from someone else.

Ah who was he kidding, he was going to hell.

So now here he was, hands tied behind his back and staring at a very angry clown. Being a prisoner to pirates should be scary.

Should be.

But they looked so fucking stupid! Sure clowns could be creepy, but these guys were basically the opposite. They were utterly ridiculous. So while Nick should be scared of the obviously angry and hungover pirates, he just wasn't.

"So, what do we have here? My men say they caught you sneaking around my ship. Care to explain yourself?" Buggy questioned in a menacing voice. It was clearly an octave or two lower than his normal tone. Something Nick picked up on.

"Did you practice that voice in the mirror?" he questioned the clown pirate. Said pirate's eye twitched in irritation at his remark.

"Oh a comedian are we? Luckily for you, the Buggy Pirates love a good laugh. What's black and blue, and red all over?"

Nick turned his head at the question, "Hm, that guy?"

Buggy and the rest of the crew turned to see who he was talking about. Turns out it was a dark skinned male in a blue and red outfit.

"You think you're funny you little bastard!?"

"But I thought you said you like to laugh?"

"Does it look like I'm laughing to you!?"

Buggy leaned back in his chair, breathing angrily. He rubbed his face in irritation. Kids these days, no respect. Oh well, that just meant Buggy would have to teach him. For his sake, he'd better be a quick learner.

"Captain Buggy, we found this on him," said one of his lackeys, handing him a piece of rolled up paper. Was he one of the guys on the ship? He couldn't remember. Getting smacked by bear testicles really did a number on him. That was not a sentence he ever thought he would ever say.

"Hm, what's this… Wait, this is… You little thief! Did you really think you could steal from me!?" Buggy screamed, spittle flying into Nick's face. Something that was completely uncalled for. How could a pirate get mad at someone for stealing? The pot has met the kettle everyone.

"Uh, well… kinda yeah," Nick shrugged. He absolutely thought he could steal from him, and he would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for those meddling pirates.

Buggy's started seeing red. Nobody steals from Buggy the Clown and lives. Nobody. "I see. And just what were you planning on doing with my balls, huh?"

Everyone stopped and quieted. You could hear the crickets in the background and their mocking laughter. The worst part was that Buggy didn't seem to realize what he just asked. Or more precisely, the way he asked it.

"Uh you want to try that question again chief?" Nick asked. Buggy looked confused for a second, likely going over what exactly it was he just asked. After a moment, his face went red.

"Not like that you little twerp! You know what I meant!"

Nick just laughed at him. His face was almost the same color as his nose, how could he not. Was it the best idea to laugh at the even angrier, clearly psychotic clown? Probably not, and yet, he couldn't stop himself.

Even the rest of the crew were trying to hold it in, if the choking sniggers could be believed. And Nick believed every single one. So did Buggy, if the apoplectic look on his face was to be believed.

"Enough! You tell me right now what you were doing on my ship and who you were with or else!"

"Or else what?" Nick questioned with a smug look on his face. This right here, is the moment he screwed up. You see, Nick forgot something, or perhaps he never realized it in the first place. These are pirates. REAL pirates. Though they may look stupid, they were in fact very dangerous.

Something Nick would find out soon enough. With a smug smile of his own, one filled with condescension, "You're about to find out. I think it's time we played a little game. What do you think, men!?"

The rowdy pirates cheered with enthusiasm. Well that doesn't bode well.

"What game do you think we should play with our new friend huh? How about… Pin the Tail on the Asshole!?"

The pirates cheered again.

"Oh I know! We could make him Bob for Bombs!"

Once again, the pirates cheered. Ok this was getting old.

"Time out! Party foul!" Nick yelled out, getting everyone's attention.

"Oh what's wrong, tough guy. Getting wet feet? Belly turning yellow? Well it's too late. If you would have just told me what I wanted to know, I may have given you a flashy, painless death. But now you'll suffer."

Nick rolled his eyes, "It's not that. It's just… you want to stick things in my ass and make me put something in my mouth that will blow its load. I'm starting to think you have a thing for me, and I'm flattered! Really! It's just I don't swing that way. I prefer big-tittied red heads. Sorry."

The quiet was back, and even the crickets remained silent. If a pin were to drop, you'd be able to hear it. Actually Nick could hear something. So could everyone else in fact, as they all started to search for the sound. The only one not looking was Buggy.

Giving him a look, that's when Nick saw where the sound was coming from. It was his veins. Buggy was so mad, Nick could actually hear his veins popping as blood rushed through them. You'd think he'd pass out from that, his blood pressure must be through the roof.

"So you don't want to play those games? Fine then. I have one that I just know you'll love… Wheel of Death!"

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The once quiet pirates started cheering louder than before. Whether it was because they were genuinely excited or because they wanted to appease their boss was anyone's guess.

A few ran off out of sight, only to appear a few moments later, rolling a giant wheel thingy. To Nick it looked like one of those magician wheels where they strapped someone into it… and threw knives at them.

Oh crap baskets.

Nick tried to struggle out of the goons grip, but it was to no avail. His hands were tied, literally, so all he could do was make their job just that little bit more difficult. It may have been petty, but damn did it feel good.

But all good things come to an end. Nick was forcefully shackled to the wheel. That would have been bad enough, but the clasps holding him had spikes on them, covered in rust and dried blood.

So now not only was he about to be impaled by various pointy objects, but he also had to worry about tetanus. This just wasn't his day.

"Ngh," Nick grunted in pain, gritting his teeth, doing his best not to scream as his arms and legs were pierced by the shackles. Blood poured down and coated the wheel. Drop by drop, it created a pool of red beneath him.

"Not so tough now are ya, gyahahahaha!" Buggy mocked him, laughing along with the rest of the crew. Nick groaned in pain, his lips moving, but no sound came out. Noticing this, Buggy leaned in, hand cupping his ear in order to "hear" him better.

"Hm, what was that? Speak up, will you."

Panting, in more pain than he had ever been in before, Nick managed to say, "Go… fuck yourself… you big… red nosed… dick waffle."

Buggy growled, grabbing Nick by the jaw, "You know, I'm getting real sick of your attitude. I think it's about time I teach you your place." Say what you will about his fashion sense, but Buggy had one hell of a grip. Something poor old Nick was discovering first hand.

"Fuck, it feels like he's about to break my jaw. Isn't he like, the second villain? Is he supposed to be this strong?"

Eventually, Buggy released him and turned to address his crew, only to spin around and punch Nick in the nose.

"Gah, fuck!" he yelled, blood spurting from his nose. Was it broken? Nick didn't think so, but it still hurt like hell. He was starting to get concerned about the amount of life giving liquid he was losing. And the amount he was going to lose.

"Gyahaha! Now who has a big red nose?" Buggy laughed. He was starting to enjoy himself, but he knew the best was yet to come. "Alright boys, line up! Let's make this a flashy execution!"

With big stupid grins, they lined up one by one, each eager to play their little game. Nick was not as eager. One might even suggest he didn't want to play at all. Too bad he didn't have a choice in the matter.

The first one stepped up. It was the fat one from the ship. At least he was wearing a shirt now, so that was an improvement. No one wanted to see that. Hashtag, manboobs are not real boobs.

Holding up an alarmingly large knife, he prepared to throw it at the source of his current ire. Not only was he woken up early, but he was also bruised and battered from a charging bear. And it was all his fault, so he was eager for some revenge.

Only for him to be stopped by Buggy himself, "It's good to see you so eager, but this is a game remember? And games have rules." With that said he pulled out a handkerchief and tied it around tubby's eyes.

"Listen up! The torso is worth 1 point, legs are worth 2 points, arms are 3, and if you manage to poke out an eye, that's 10 points. The person with the most points wins a flashy prize. Just remember to have fun! Now, give him a spin!"

Nick suddenly found himself spinning around and around, the blood covering the wheel splattering every which way. This only seemed to encourage them however. Bloodthirsty pirates were bloodthirsty, who knew?

Chubs Mckinsey raised his blade and took aim, as well as he could with a blindfold on anyway, and chucked the knife at the hapless Nick. It sailed true, and struck the wheel, barely missing a leg.

Nick released a sigh of relief, glad that there wasn't a blade sticking out of him. But looking out at the sea of pirates, as best as he could while spinning anyway, he doubted his relief would last forever. There had to be at least 30 of them and sooner or later, someone would get lucky, and Nick just had to hope they didn't hit anywhere vital.

Pulling off the blindfold, Fatty appeared crestfallen that he didn't impale his victim, "Ah man…"

Buggy chuckled, "Ah too bad. Better luck next time. Now, who's next?"

One by one, they each took a turn. At first, everything was going fine for our hero, as every blade seemed to miss. Though some were too close for comfort, and one nearly made him eunuch.

But on the sixth throw, his luck finally ran out, "Agh!" he yelled, as searing hot pain raced through his body. Cheers erupted from the pirates as someone finally hit the target, knife firmly planted in his right shoulder.

"And Jensen is on the board with 1 point. Can anyone top that?" exclaimed Buggy, fully enjoying the show. Nick came to a stop, as everyone examined the hit. His fellow crewmates patted him on the back for being the first to earn a point. He probably wouldn't win with that single point, but he was still the first to get one, and that was worth celebrating.

"Don't stop now, who's next!?" said Buggy to his eager crew. He was glad to see this little game bring them together. Those happy smiles as they tortured a man nearly brought a tear to his eye. This was what being part of a crew was all about. Well, this and treasure, can't forget about the treasure.

"And how is our guest of honor? Are you ready to beg for your pitiful life yet?" questioned the pirate Captain as he approached his victim. Nick glared at him in response, eyes glowering in defiance, "Go fuck yourself you circus reject."

Buggy only chuckled in response, "We'll see just how long that bravado of yours lasts." With that, he gave the wheel a fierce turn, the game beginning again. The next in line was blindfolded and ready to go.

As Nick began to spin again, trying his best to ignore the thumps of near hits, he wondered if this was where he would die. To Buggy the fucking Clown of all people. Possibly the lamest villain in all of One Piece. Ugh, that would suck.

His mind drifted to Nami, the fine and sexy, wondering if she made it away safely. He has yet to hear anything from chuckles the assclown, but who knows. She could be dead in a ditch or sleeping with the fishes, and all this was for nothing.

Was he simping? Maybe a little, but come on, it was Nami! As long as he didn't turn into that pervy cook, he should be fine. Now that guy was a simp with a capital S. As long as he was still a lower case simp, it would all turn out ok.

That was when another sharp bout of pain reminded him of where he was. It wasn't as bad as the last time, but now his left leg felt like it was on fire. The knife didn't make a direct hit, but his leg just below the knee was sliced open. He let out a swear, much to their amusement.

Which number was that? Ten or eleven? He should really pay more attention to the people trying to murder him in this festive manner. But thinking of the sexy, orange haired navigator seemed like a much better way to spend his time.

Especially if these were his final moments.

Number 14 hit him in the right bicep, 3 points.

Number 17 hit him in the right thigh, 2 points.

Number 23 hit him in the left side, 1 point.

Number 25 was a fucking lion who thankfully missed the target completely. He was too big to throw a knife and used a big ass sword instead.

Number 28 got him in the head for a whopping 10 points. Thankfully Nick was able to turn his head to the side and avoid losing an eye, but the one who threw the knife was still given full points, since he would have taken it out.

With that the game seemed to be over, and they had a winner.

"Congratulations Vinny, you win!" Buggy shouted, as screams of joy erupted from his crew. "Next time we raid a village, you get first pick of the treasure! Gyahahaha!"

That seemed to excite them, as normally it would be the Captain who gets the best goodies. He couldn't keep all the treasure of course, that was a good way to cause a mutiny, but he could keep the most valuable. Hell, it was practically expected. No one becomes a pirate to be a pauper after all.

"Now then, what to do with you?" he questioned, staring at the bleeding and barely conscious Nick. He grabbed him by his dirty blonde hair and yanked, pulling his head up and causing him to grunt in pain.

"Well? Any ideas?"

Nick glared at him before spitting a glob of blood in his face. "I thought I told you to go fuck yourself," he wheezed out.

Buggy growled, kicking the beaten man in the stomach, "You little bastard." Nick coughed and spat up blood and bile. He was already dizzy from the spinning and the blood loss, getting kicked in the gut didn't help matters. At least he didn't hit the knife that was still embedded in his side, that would have sucked.

As Buggy stood there staring hatefully at the man, Cabaji came up and offered a suggestion, "Captain, if I may? Why not use the Buggy Balls? I believe that would be a fitting and… flashy end. After all, he was caught stealing your formula for them"

The clown pirate considered that for a moment, before a big, wide grin it up his face, anger nearly forgotten. "You know Cabaji, you're right. That would be the perfect, flashy end to this troublemaker. Alright, bring out the cannon! Will put an end to him, and this town at the same time! Gyahahaha!"

His crew hurried to obey his orders, wheeling out a large, black cannon that looked recently polished. Along with that, one of them was carrying a red cannonball slightly bigger than a man's head, painted with the symbol of the Buggy Pirates.

As they pointed the cannon at Nick and loaded it with a Buggy Ball, Buggy turned to the soon to be dead man, "So any last words before I blow you to flashy bits?"

Nick only stared at him for a moment. So this is how he would die, tortured and exploded during the second arc of an anime that had, like, a million of them. Guess he should have known he wouldn't make it, he wasn't even meant to be here after all. He would just be another victim, lost and forgotten to time.

Was he scared? Absolutely. He didn't want to die, especially not like this. Maybe as an old man, peacefully in his sleep. Or perhaps being choked out between Nami's legs. Now that would be a way to go.

But if this is how he was going to die, he'd be damned if he gave Buggy or his goons the satisfaction of seeing him afraid. So instead, he gathered up a lifetime's worth of courage, and gave them a savage grin.

"Yeah. I'll save a spot for you in hell Buggy, so don't keep me or the devil waiting too long."

They seemed awe stricken by my last words. Or perhaps dumbfounded. It could be anything really, doesn't matter. I said what I said and that's that.

For Buggy, it wasn't the words that shook him. In that moment, for the briefest of seconds, he saw the face of his Captain, Gol D Roger, in place of Nick's, staring his death in the face without an ounce of fear. It only lasted a moment, and as convincing as he was, Buggy saw through the facade, and recognized the fear held in his eyes.

This boy was not his Captain, not even close. A bead of sweat dripped down Buggy's face as he calmed his nerves. It was a good thing he was getting rid of the punk now, as Buggy felt, somewhere deep within himself, that this man in front of him would become a problem in the future.

So Buggy would snuff out that future.

"As far as last words go, that wasn't too bad. Credit where credit is due, I suppose," Buggy commented with the smallest of quivers. "But this is the end. Time for you to die flashily!"

After saying his piece, he lit the fuse. Time seemed to slow down as Nick watched the sizzling fuse cheerfully count down to his demise. Sparks and flames shooting out as brightly as a welding torch. Soon it would all be over

"Hey, what's that!?" yelled one of the clown pirates. Looking up they all noticed something falling out of the sky. Something rather large and heading right toward them. With a startled cry, they covered their eyes as it crashed into Nick, dust and debris flying everywhere.

They watched in stunned silence, the only sound the sizzling of the fuse, as the dust blew away, revealing a standing silhouette. As the dust completely settled, the silhouette revealed itself to be none other than Nick, free from his bondage.

Nick pulled out the knives, grunting, as their bloodstained forms clanged on the ground. It was painful, yet at the same time, satisfying. Now all he needed to do was escape them. The question was, how? Well, how did they do it in the anime? Oh right, Zoro flipped the cannon.

That would do. That would do nicely. He turned to face them as his breath settled, a viscous smile on his face, "Round two, bitch."

He charged, but not at the crowd of stunned pirates, but at the cannon. He needed to hurry, the fuse getting shorter and shorter with each passing second. Why they decided to use such a long fuse, Nick didn't know, nor did he particularly care, he was just thankful for their thoughtful stupidity.

10 seconds…

Nick reached the cannon, groaning as he gripped the underside of the barrel, and began to use all his strength, or what little was left, to try and flip it over. He cursed as the cannon barely budged, "Come on, you heavy son of a bitch, move!"

9 seconds…

Buggy seemed to realize what he was trying to do, and with a panicked shriek, ordered his men to do something, "No! He's trying to flip the cannon! Stop him, shoot him!"

8 seconds…

His men seemed to snap out of their stupor as they opened fire. Bang after bang rang out, but none seemed to find their mark. One came close, as it ricocheted off the cannon and grazed his cheek, causing a small trickle of blood to leak down his face.

Nick ignored the stinging sensation in favor of completing his task. That task being, blow Buggy and his merry band of assholes to kingdom come.

7 seconds…

It wasn't working, the cannon was just too heavy for his weakened form. So far, he's only been able to move it a few inches. But what else could he do? If he just made a run for it, they would either adjust the cannon so he died in a ball of fire, or they just hunted him down, and he died with even more pointy objects inside him.

Neither of those options appealed to him. He needed to distract them, and the cannon was his best bet. It worked in the show, it will work here. If only he could get it to move. There had to be something he could do, but what?

Suddenly, he remembered something. Something from a game he played long ago. It was the final boss, and he needed to throw a boulder into a volcano. He didn't remember why exactly, but he did. The main character, however, wasn't strong enough on his own, so he resorted to an alternate method.

He punched it. He punched the boulder until it finally moved. It didn't make sense then, and it doesn't make sense now, but Nick was out of ideas, and out of options. There were precious few seconds left, so what did he have to lose?

So with a great roar, he punched it. Much to his shock, it seemed to work, as the barrel lifted a few inches. That knowledge spurned him on, giving him a burst of energy.

6 seconds…

Buggy stared at the man as he punched the cannon, bewilderment gracing his features. Who punches cannons? What the hell was wrong with this guy? It seems his instincts from before were right, this guy needed to die, and he needed to die now. There were enough crazy people in the world, it didn't need another one.

"Give me that you useless lump!" he yelled, grabbing a pistol from one of his goons. A goon that looked on the verge of tears from the reprimand. Poor guy had his wittle feelings hurt.

Buggy took aim and fired, just once. But that was all he needed. Unlike the rest of his crew, Buggy's shot flew true, striking Nick in his side. Causing him to drop to one knee, doing his best to prevent the scream that threatened to escape his lips.

He was only partially successful.

5 seconds…

"Gyahaha! You see that? Take notes boys, that's how it's done!" Buggy cheerfully exclaimed, as his crew cheered with him. Nick was not nearly so impressed. The bullet in his side was thankfully stopped by his rib, which hurt like a bitch, but at least it didn't pierce something more vital.

Like his liver. He needed that for drinking. But a broken rib wasn't doing him any favors either. Every breath was agony, and he was breathing hard. That wasn't even the worst part. No, the worst part was that the cannon was back in its original position. What little progress he made was nullified in an instant.

Not to mention how aggravating Buggy's mocking laughter was. Him and his whole joke of a crew. Hearing that just made Nick angry, numbing the pain, giving him his third wind, and pumping even more adrenaline into his veins. Nick knew he would have to make the best of it, because he doubted he would get a fourth.

4 seconds…

With a mighty roar, he sprung back up, hitting the cannon with his shoulder, using all his pissed of strength. In that instant, the cannon returned to where it was before he was shot.

Not good enough. He needed more. Drawing on strength he didn't know he had, he began punching the barrel once more, each uppercut more powerful that the last. Inch by desperate inch, the barrel raised.

3 seconds…

Buggy's eyes bugged out of his skull as he watched the man furiously punch the shit out of his cannon. If this continued, he might actually be able to do it. Perhaps it wasn't the best idea to put a cannon on a stand that can be flipped over. Something to think about.

Just not now. Now he needed to make sure they didn't get blown to hell. Buggy wasn't that eager to see his old Captain again just yet. "Hurry you lazy bums! Stop him, stop him!" he yelled in panic.

2 seconds…

He was so close, just a bit more, and Nick would finally flip this damn cannon over, and end Buggy once and for all. Probably… Maybe…

But he was running out of steam again, his third wind running out of air. Cheap bastard! Beyond that, he was pretty sure his hand was broken, or at the very least, his fingers. Cannons were not meant to be punched; he was finding that out the hard way.

He just needed one more push, one final punch, and this ordeal would be over. But could he do it? That was the question. Should he do it was another. After all, he didn't belong in this world, there was no telling what his interference would change. Maybe it would be better if he went out in a blaze of glory, right here, right now.

…Nah! Fuck that! He wanted to live, and if canon didn't approve, then canon can suck his hairy left nut. He would see this vast new world he found himself in, explore all of its riches, experience all of its joys and sorrows, and nothing, especially not this two-bit clown pirate mother fucker, would stop him.

He just needed to reach deep inside himself, find that thing that would push him further past his limits than he has ever been. His eyes closed, Nick did just that, finding the very essence of who he was, finding that spark that would take him to new heights.

And that's when he saw them. Bathed in an ethereal morning glow, swaying gently in the breeze, and jiggling with a hypnotic rhythm, were Nami's boobs. More tantalizing than a double bacon cheeseburger, and more beautiful than any piece of art, they beckoned him forward.

"You can do it," they said, "We believe in you."

That was all the motivation he needed.

1 second…

Nick snapped his eyes open, his body glowing faintly with power yet unknown. He yelled to the heavens, so primal, so fierce, it would make even Vegeta feel pride in someone else.

"What the hell is going on!?" yelled Buggy in confusion, as a violent gust of wind appeared from nowhere. No, that wasn't quite right, it appeared from that half dead twerp. He was drawing on a power Buggy hasn't seen in years.

Haki…

And not just any Haki, the kind only one in a million had. The kind that brought kings low and tamed the sea. It was a power reserved for those with the will of a conqueror.

But how did this nobody have it? Who the hell was this guy?

"Hey Buggy!"

That yell interrupted his train of thought, and he turned to the source, only to see it was the very same person he was thinking about, wind raging around him, and a strange light emanating from his body.

A light that seemed to focus itself on is fist. That couldn't be good.

"Tell the Devil to save me a spot would ya?"

"No! Wait!"

"Shoryuken!"

0 seconds…

With a mighty uppercut, one that actually worked this time, the cannon finally flipped over. Just in time too. As it thunked against the ground, facing Buggy and his compatriots, it let loose a bellow, followed by a truly massive explosion. Nick's ears would be ringing for a while.

He just hoped it wouldn't result in tinnitus.

Nick stared at the wreckage for a bit, regaining his breath. The whole top half of the building was gone, along with all of the carnival decorations they had. Good riddance, that shit was tacky with a capital T.

The whole ordeal really took its toll on him, his labored breathing finally evening out. His hand was busted all to hell, and he now had several holes in him that he didn't have before. But it wasn't over quite yet. He still had to escape and find his beautiful, busty companion.

"Now if I were a Nami, where would I be?"

Sighing as the adrenaline finally left his body, leaving him more tired than he could ever remember being, he turned to face the city. Somewhere out there, Nami was waiting, and what kind of gentleman keeps a lady waiting?

But before he could find a way to climb down, he noticed something peculiar. A person, or something that appeared human, was falling from the sky. It crashed into an alleyway on the opposite side of town.

Could that be Luffy? The blood loss and fatigue made it difficult to remember exactly what happened in the anime. Add in the fact that he hasn't watched the show in years made his assumption a 50/50 at best.

Oh well, not like he has any other clues to go on. And if it really was him, then there was a good chance he ran into Nami. Destiny was funny like that. Path decided, Nick carefully made his way off the roof.

Time to see what fate had in store for him.