Zoro stared at the people responsible for humiliating him, his so-called crew, with more than a bit of irritation. Well, one crewmember and two temporary ones. Each of them sat in a seiza position, bowing their heads in apology.

Luffy had bumps on his head, his face swollen, like he was stung by every bee in the East Blue. Nick and Nami had similar bumps on their heads, but unlike their Captain, that was the extent of it.

For which they were extremely thankful.

"So, what do you have to say for yourselves?" asked Zoro, his voice stern, like a parent chastising his children for doing something incredibly stupid. To be fair, he wasn't far from the mark.

"We're sorry," they all said, in very different tones. Nami sniffled, a big crocodile tear falling down her cheek. Luffy could barely speak, and when he did, it came out in a drunken slur. It almost sounded like he developed a speech impediment. And Nick…

Well, he just sounded grumpy. He was being punished for something he didn't even do. It wasn't fair at all. Next time, he would draw a big floppy donkey dick on his face. If he was going to be punished either way, might as well earn it.

Was he being petty and petulant about it? You're damn right he was! After all, the bump on his head was only the start of it. The three of them were also wearing a matching set of fancy new necklaces made from wood, each of them with writing letting the world know of their crimes.

I'm an asshole who drew on my friend's face while he was sleeping.

That's what it said. Nick had no idea where he got the damn things, but here they are regardless. Stupid anime logic.

"Good. And are you going to do it again?" Zoro continued asking.

"No…" they responded again. But what Zoro didn't know was that each of them had their fingers crossed behind their backs, an evil smirk in their hearts promising retribution.

None of them knew it then, but history would say this is when the prank wars began.

"Now that that's settled, did you at least learn something?" he asked. The three of them perked up at the question, giving a nod.

"Sure did. It all began when Luffy made a new friend…" started Nick.

Some time later…

"So that's what's going on," muttered Zoro, after Nick finished telling the story. He could have done without all the pageantry Nick put into the story, but he had the info now regardless. He heard something similar from the guys he was drinking with, but they passed out before they could explain that much.

But if that was the case, it certainly made sense why the whole town seemed to be on edge. Pirates attacking the major source of business would worry anybody, let alone regular civilians.

"That's right. Now we need to go see this Kaya woman and see if we can make a deal to get a ship," said Nami. She was hoping they could get this over with soon and move on. Sitting on her knees like this for so long was starting to hurt.

Nami wasn't a woman who was used to being on her knees.

Zoro pondered this for a moment. All in all, it wasn't a bad plan, and it would likely lead them into another fight. For a normal person, that would be seen as a negative, but for someone like Zoro…

"Well then, what are we waiting for?" he asked, turning around and walking off. The three on the ground stared at him for a moment, completely flabbergasted. It wasn't because of what he said. No, that wasn't the problem. The real issue was…

"Why is he walking back towards the shipyard?" Nami asked. That wasn't where they needed to go, that's where they just were. For what reason could he have for going back there?

Nick just sighed at this. He'd better go fetch him before he ends up somewhere completely different. If he wandered onto a ship that was leaving town for example, they may never see him again.

After retrieving the grumpy swordsman, who insisted he knew where he was going, the four of them made their way towards the mansion. Nick wondered if Usopp would be there. That's most likely where he went after parting ways with them, but that was a couple of hours ago. Could he really keep lying for two hours straight?

What was he saying, of course he could. He was the world's premier bull-shitter after all. Nothing less for the crew of the future King of the Pirates!

Kind of a weird flex, but if you were going to do something, might as well be the best at it. Besides, lying was a great skill to have in Dungeons and Dragons. It got you out of so many problems!

Or created some… Goddamn nat ones! He shouldn't be able to fail with a 10 to deception damn it! Hopefully Usopp's lying didn't land him in a dungeon.

Moving on, the four of them reached the massive house. No, it was far too big to be called a house. Hell, it was too big to be called a mansion! But what was bigger than a mansion? A castle? But it wasn't that either.

Fuck it, it was a big ass house! No need for Nick to give himself a headache thinking of stupid, useless things like that. There were plenty of stupid, important things to give him a headache.

Like, how do they get inside the BFH (Big Fucking House) in the first place? They tried the front, only to be chased away by the guards at the gate, and the whole place was surrounded by a massive, ten foot wall.

It was almost like they didn't want people to break in or something. But wait, how did Usopp get into this place again? Some kind of secret passage, right? Now if only they could find it.

"So, how do we get in?" questioned Nami. She stared up at the beautiful house with just a twinge of envy. Ok, maybe more than a twinge, but you couldn't blame her, given that she grew up poor in a small house, forced to wear her older sister's hand-me-downs.

"I'm working on it!" thought Nick, as he searched the thorny bushes along the bottom of the wall. He was about 90% certain there was supposed to be a false patch of shrubbery somewhere, but for the life of him, he couldn't find it.

He did, however, find some cute, adorable squirrels. "Aw…" he said, staring at the endearing little things, with their fluffy tails, tiny paws, and glowing red eyes.

Wait… Something about that last part didn't sound right…

With a screech that belonged to the most abominable demons from the deepest pit of hell, the three squirrels lunged at him. "Ah!" Nick screamed, as he flailed around, trying to get the monstrous little cretins off of him.

"Nick!" yelled Nami in concern. But when she saw what it was, a sweatdrop formed on the back of her head. She watched him fight a lion for god's sake, how was he getting his ass kicked by a few squirrels?

"Get 'em off me! Get 'em off!" he continued to scream, and he was littered with teeth marks. No matter how hard he tried to grab them, they were simply too fast, too elusive. He felt one dive into his shirt, and he felt a sharp pain coming from his left nipple.

Another squirrel dove into his pants, and Nick's eyes widened in horror. They were going for his nuts! He couldn't allow that to happen. With a panicked yelp, he began to rip his clothes off, hoping to get rid of their hiding spots.

"Why are you taking off your clothes!" Nami shouted, with a blush on her face. How did things end up like this? All they needed to do was sneak into a mansion and talk to the owner. Easy peasy. She broke into tons of houses, although never with the intention of holding a conversation.

But this was just ridiculous!

"Alright, hold still," Zoro said, growing sick of the yelling. He unsheathed one of his swords, preparing to slice and dice some furry assholes. As long as the big asshole stopped squirming, he should be fine.

"No! Not you!" Nick yelled, throwing his shirt at Zoro, blinding him. Said swordsman let out a curse as he ripped the offending piece of clothing off of him. He glared angrily at his companion before noticing something strange.

The squirrels had stopped tormenting Nick and were now staring at him. Nick stood there, unmoving, pants around his ankles and bare chested, trying not to breathe. He was afraid if he startled them, they would continue their assault on him.

Lady Luck seemed to smile on him, for the demonic creatures let out another screech and jumped toward the swordsman. Zoro's eyes widened at the unexpected turn of events, and was thus unable to defend himself.

"Ah! Son of a bitch!" he yelled, as he was bitten, over and over again. Like Nick before him, he tried to grab the evil little creatures, but they proved to be too slippery even for him.

The others would have helped, but with Zoro waving his sword around like a maniac, they couldn't get close. Luckily for him, the fluffy demons didn't enter his pants, unlike poor Nick.

Who had teeth marks on his ass. Luckily it wasn't on the other side.

"Will you put that thing away!" Nami yelled at the flailing, green haired man. Or at least, that who Nick assumed she was yelling at. But she could have been yelling at him too, it was hard to tell.

After all, Zoro wasn't the only one with a sword unsheathed. Or, mostly unsheathed anyway. He couldn't get arrested for public indecency if he still had his underwear on.

Probably.

Luffy was also no help, as he found the whole thing hilarious. The rubber jerk was laughing his ass off, pointing at the swordsman as he did so.

You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

But a noise from the bushes halted his laughter. The three currently not under attack stared at where the noise came from. One by one, pairs of glowing red eyes appeared, staring at them.

Sweat dripped down their brows as they realized what this meant.

"Oh dear God…"

With another scream, the whole crew was assaulted by a horde of furry fury.

Meanwhile…

"And then, after consuming the whole island, the enormous goldfish let out an equally massive roar, and created a whole new island with its poop!" Usopp said excitedly, his arms thrust into the air, and a big grin on his face.

He was currently sitting in a chair, with Akisu sitting next to him. Across from them, in a matching seat, was Kaya, who had a big smile on her face. Although, if one were to look closely, it was more of a polite smile than anything.

She was just told a story about a massive turd after all. Not the best tale they've ever come up with, but she was thankful they took the time to come and see her all the same.

The three of them were sitting in her room, around a small table, enjoying a bit of tea and some snacks.

"Oh my, that sounds… Amazing… And it was really as big as a whole island?" Kaya asked, with her polite smile still in place. Usopp and Akisu gave her matching grins, using their hands to show just how big it was.

"Oh yeah, it was huge!" yelled Usopp.

"And stinky!" shouted Akisu.

That actually did get a genuine giggle out of her. Looking at their excited faces, she didn't have the heart to tell them she was asking about the goldfish itself, and not its… excrement.

She really did enjoy this time she could spend with her friends. Lately, it was the only thing she had to look forward to. While she's been somewhat frail her whole life, which was only exacerbated by the death of her parents, she was still able to take walks through town.

But now, with everything that was happening, the attacks and most recently, the letter… she hasn't been able to leave the house at all. Heck, there were some days she didn't even get out of bed.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Usopp asked. Kaya stared at him surprised for a moment, before realizing her melancholy must have shown on her face. She would have to be more careful about that, not wanting to worry her friends.

"It's nothing. So, do you have any more stories for today?" she responded, with fake cheer in her voice. Usopp and Akisu shared a look, clearly able to tell she wasn't alright, and both knowing there was nothing either of them could do about it.

The long nosed sniper clenched his fist in frustration. If only he was stronger, he could find the jerks responsible and kick their ass. But he wasn't, and that was the worst feeling of all.

So he forced a smile on his face, much the same as the girl across from him. He couldn't show her just how upset he was, because he couldn't tell her why. How could he possibly tell the girl he had not-so-secret feelings for he wasn't strong enough to keep her safe?

That he was a failure as a man?

He couldn't and he wouldn't. So he would just smile through the pain, and do what he could to bring a smile to her face. That was about the only thing he could do.

"Of course! Let's see, how about-" Usopp started to say, but was interrupted by the sound of someone screaming.

"Ah! Get 'em off me! Get 'em off!"

The three of them shared a confused look as they turned their gaze to the window. It sounded like it came from just beyond the property line, past the wall and bushes.

"What was that?" asked Kaya, with a hint of fear in her voice. With everything going on, you couldn't blame her for being nervous. For all she knew, the saboteurs grew tired of destroying ships and were coming for her.

Or, it could be about the other thing… The thing mentioned in the letter…

She shook her head, not wanting to think about such depressing thoughts.

"I don't know. Sounds like someone might be getting attacked by something," Usopp responded. Judging by where the scream came from, he deduced it could only be one thing.

The squirrels had claimed another victim. He shivered, remembering all the times he was similarly assaulted by the evil little beasts. It took them years to stop attacking him. He assumed it was because they finally realized he wasn't a threat to them.

That, or they simply grew tired of the taste, who knows.

"Why are you taking off your clothes!" shouted a female voice. That made the people listening even more confused, as blushes appeared on their faces, with Kaya's being the brightest.

Usopp was even more confused by it. If they were being attacked by the squirrels, why would they take their clothes off? That would just make the bites that much worse. A shirt might not be the best protection against the sharp teeth they possessed, but it was still something!

"No! Not you!" they heard the first voice yell again. By this point, the three of them moved to the window, trying to see who was making all the racket. Unfortunately, the angle didn't allow for it.

All they could see was bush. Bush as far as the eye could see.

"Ah, son of a bitch!" shouted a new, deeper voice. Usopp wasn't sure, but those voices sounded familiar. It was on the tip of his tongue, but for the life of him, he just couldn't place them.

"I hope they're ok," muttered Kaya. She looked worried as she stared out across the yard, watching as the bushes seemed to shake violently. That couldn't have been a good sign.

"Don't worry, I'm sure they're fine," Usopp told her, trying to ease her worry. He knew she didn't like it when other people got hurt, her kind heart practically broke whenever it happened. It was one of the things he liked most about her.

Not that he had the courage to tell her that.

"I hope you're right…" she said. Usopp was about to try and cheer her up again, when the female voice shouted again.

"Will you put that thing away!"

Now Kaya's face turned practically atomic, her mind going to some pretty x-rated territory. After all, didn't that voice yell about someone taking their clothes off? And the only other voices she heard were male, so that means… the thing he needed to put away was…

A burst of team erupted from her forehead as she nearly fainted, eyes spinning as she imagined just what needed to be put away.

"Kaya!" yelled Usopp and Akisu, rushing to her side. Usopp caught her before she could fall, staring down at her tomato red face with concern.

"Put it away… Put what away…?" she muttered. Usopp and his brother shared a look of confusion. What in the heck was her problem?

"Kaya, are you ok? Talk to me," Usoop begged, with Akisu watching, an equal amount of concern on his face. With her constitution, it probably wasn't good for her to faint like that.

Kaya's vision eventually began to clear, and her soaring temperature dropped. She blinked in confusion, staring up at Usopp, who had his arms wrapped around her.

"Huh? Usopp?" she asked. She looked around her, seeing Akisu staring at her with worry. But why were they worried? She felt just fine. A little hot maybe, but fine.

"Yeah it's me. How are you feeling?" he asked. That didn't clear up her confusion, not even a little.

"I'm fine. What happened?" she asked. Usopp opened his mouth to speak, but another voice interrupted him. It was the girl's voice.

"Hey, get out of there!"

"Don't worry Nami! I'll save you!" shouted the first voice.

"Don't you dare!" they heard the girl shout again, followed by the sound of a slap.

The three of them shared another look of confusion, not knowing what was going on or what to do. That's when Kaya noticed her position, wrapped up in Usopp's arms.

A brand new blush erupted from her face, even redder than the last one. That's when she remembered exactly what she fainted in the first place. Someone, a boy, had to put something of his away.

And now she was in the arms of the boy she had a not-so-secret crush on, and her mind wandered to something of his that he would have to put away. Something that looked a lot like his nose.

With strength no one knew she possessed, least of all herself, she pushed Usopp away from her, sending him flying out of the window. She watched him disappear from view with a look of horror on her face.

"Usopp, no!" she yelled, rushing toward the window to see if he was alright. She was joined by Akisu, and the two of them saw Usopp sprawled out on the ground, groaning in pain.

"Are you ok?" she yelled.

"Never better," he groaned out. Kaya sighed in relief, holding her hand to her chest. Akisu, however, was not as easily mollified.

"What was that about?" he asked angrily. Kaya looked at him with a cute blush on her face, completely embarrassed by what just happened.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I was just startled," she said, trying to explain. But the more she talked, the more confused Akisu became. He eventually stopped listening as she devolved into rambling.

Today was teaching him all sorts of things. Primarily, girls are scary.

And also weird.

Thankfully, Kaya's babbling was put to rest by the sound of someone whistling. The pair of them looked back outside, listening to brand new shouts.

"Intruders!"

"Get them!"

"That one's naked!"

"The squirrels were after my nuts!"

They shared a look with each other. If they really were intruders, that could only mean they were with the ones responsible for the attacks of the shipyard. Akisu growled in anger at that. How dare they show their faces here!

But for some reason, the voices sounded familiar, and like his brother, he wasn't able to place them.

Usopp himself sat up, staring in the direction of the voices with narrowed eyes. If they were the ones responsible for making Kaya worry, he would show them what for!

Just as soon as he got feeling back in his legs.

"Oh crap!" they heard the first voice shout from across the wall.

"Damn it, now what?" growled the deep, male voice.

"Quick, everyone grab on!" yelled a new voice, one that Usopp could swear he heard laughing just a minute ago. But what exactly did he want them to grab onto?

"Grab on to what!?" yelled the female voice, echoing Usopp's own thoughts.

"Me! Hurry!" shouted the third male voice. Now Usopp was very confused. Why did he want them to grab on to him? Was he some kind of pervert or something? If he was, he wasn't getting anywhere near Kaya!

"What!? Not this again!" shouted the girl.

Again? Does that mean she's grabbed him before? Were they all perverts or something? Wasn't there also a naked guy?

"No choice, hurry up!" yelled the deep voice. The girl's voice could be heard moaning in despair.

"Hang on, what aout my pants!?" yelled the first voice.

That settles that, they were all perverts.

"Forget them, just grab on!" demanded the deep voice. Now it was the other guys turn to moan in despair.

But you know, now that he was a bit closer, Usopp was certain he'd heard them before. In fact, they sounded just like those guys he left at the restaurant. But that couldn't be right, he told them to leave!

But then again, they were pirates. Usopp should have guessed they wouldn't listen.

"Everybody ready! Alright, here we go! Gum Gum…"

Usopp stared as he saw a pair of hands gripping the metal spikes on top of the wall. How did they get there? It was like they stretched or something!

…Oh right. That guy had Devil Fruit powers that let him do exactly that, didn't he. Now Usopp just felt stupid.

"Rocket!" shouted the voice Usopp was now certain belonged to Luffy. He and the rest of them watched as they went flying into the air, screaming. One out of fun, and the other three out of terror.

The sniper followed them as they soared through the air, their screams becoming distant. He lost them in the sun, closing his eyes from the pain. He blinked rapidly, trying to clear the sunspots from his eyes.

As he was doing this, the screams were gradually getting louder and louder, approaching the ground at a rapid speed. When his vision finally cleared, Usopp looked back to the sky, careful to avoid looking directly into the sun this time.

But what he spotted made his eyes bug out from his skull. Not only could he see the four people he explicitly told to leave, they were also heading straight for him! With a scream of his own, Usopp watched completely helpless as they crashed right into him, creating a large cloud of dust.

"Usopp!" Kaya shouted from the window. Akisu wasn't content to just watch, as he jumped into the tree near her window and climbed onto the ground. He rushed over to the pile of entangled bodies, searching for his brother.

He spotted him, at the very bottom of the pile, looking much worse for wear. His nose was bent at a weird angle, there was blood coming out of his mouth, and he was pretty sure he was missing a tooth.

But now that he could see them, Akisu also recognized the rest of them as well. That made him sigh in relief. At least they weren't here to kill them all, even if that was hard to tell with his brother's current condition.

"Ow… Remind me not to do that again," complained Nick, holding his head in pain. The others weren't faring much better, as they groaned in response. The only one who seemed to enjoy the experience, was also the only one made out of rubber.

Luffy laughed happily, standing up with his hand on his head. "Looks like we got away," he said, cheer in his voice. He looked back to his crew, only to see them sprawled out on the ground.

"Hey, what's wrong with you guys?" he asked, tilting his head in confusion.

"What do you think!?" Nami and Zoro shouted back. Nick didn't have the energy lef to do so, deciding to glare at him instead.

"Hey!" shouted another voice. The group turned to see none other than Akisu standing there, giving them his own glare.

"Oh hey! What are you doing here?" Luffy asked, not at all bothered by the kid's angry look.

"That's my line! And will you get off of him already!?" he shouted.

Get off of him? Get off of who?

The group looked down to see who he was talking about, only to finally spot the broken form of Usopp, groaning on the ground.

"Get… off… of… me… please…" he begged.

Oh, that's who…

Whoopsie…