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Oh Ye Traveling Bard
Chapter 50: Hangover

Chapter 50: Hangover

Waking up after a night of hard drinking is never pleasant. My mouth felt like the deserts I knew of as a sorceress. My tongue felt coarse and rough like sandpaper as I unstuck it from the roof of my mouth. The light coming through the shutters of the window pierced my eyes like the daggers of an assassin. None of that compared to the pounding headache. It was as if a thousand tiny fairies were hammering my skull like a drum. A groan slipped through my lips as I pulled the covers over my eyes and tried to shut out the noise outside and the light through the covers.

The most unpleasant knocking sounded at my door. It was like someone was slamming an oversized fist as it echoed in my ears. Had I been so foolish to ask to be woken up in my drunk stupor? I dragged my exhausted self out of the bed and shuffled over to the door and opened it up. The pleasant smell of pork and eggs smothered in gravy with shredded fried potatoes filled the air and my dry mouth started to water. The young man that had been eyeing me the last few days looked up at me with a tray of delicious food. Upon the tray was a small mug of frothed drink.

“Father said that you stumbled down drunk and paid him for a portion of our breakfast. I was asked to bring it up to you.” I burped and the stink of my breath hit the young man’s nose and he flinched, the hunger in his eyes dimmed a little.

“Did you have to pound my door so hard?” I clutched my head with one hand as I opened the door wider to accept the tray of food. It would go a long way through this hangover.

“Sir I barely tapped the door, it would be too hard to knock holding all this food.” He stepped inside and placed the tray upon the messy bed as he looked around and excused himself quickly as I burped once again.

I shambled my way over to the basin and splashed my face with what little water was left rubbing at my face. I took a handful of water in my mouth and swished it around before spitting it out in the chamberpot. I then relieved myself and walked over to the food as it steamed heavily in the air. I grabbed the utensils that was brought with the meal and began to salivate while I looked at it.

A pile of salted pork smothered in gravy lay shredded and smelled amazing. It was over a layer of potatoes that smelled of grease and seasonings. The eggs were yolky and soft so I began to dig in.

One thing that I’ll never forget about this world is how good some things taste the day after you drink too much. The grease coated the dry sand in my mouth and brought life back into it. Like heavy rain to an oasis. The gravy and pork was strongly salted but practically melted in my mouth and needed so little chewing as I felt it pull the headache out of my head as I approached the potatoes and eggs.

I mixed the soft eggs and the crispy potatoes into a slurry of golden yolk and white flesh of potatoes softening their crisp as I shoveled it into my mouth. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as gravy, egg, and potatoes slid down my throat to my hungering stomach. I couldn’t help but praise the gods for this gift upon man. I scraped at my plate and put every last morsel I could into my maw and grabbed the mug and began to chug it to wash it all down.

The sweet flood of honey and mead slid down washing away the lingering taste and putting a little hair of the dog in my system to wash away the rest of my suffering. I wiped at my mouth and felt the coating of yolk and drink that was slathered around my mouth. I moved to the basin once more and scrubbed my face once again. I relieved myself in the chamberpot and emptied it out the window.

The sounds of soldiers marching through the street with the clanging of their armor sounded now that I had the window open so I dressed quickly and brought the tray down with me to my saviors. That I had been so mindful of the suffering I would have to endure this morning while I was so drunk made me wonder if it was yet another guiding hand given by the gods. The large burly man that owned Featherdown eyed me with a shit eating grin on his face.

“By the gods, you were rank with the stink of booze last night. I usually turn away requests made by those but I won’t turn away a whole pence for one morning’s food. I hope it was enough to help you get back upon your feet.” His voice was full of laughter and his eyes sparkled in the morning light.

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“If I was a holy man I would bless you and your establishment with the gifts of all the gods that are good. I would have been crippled all day if not for your help.” I placed the tray gently as he chuckled under his breath taking it from me. “I probably won’t be working tonight. Most of my clients seem to be marching out of town now that they’re ready for battle.”

His laughter died a little as he looked out the front shutters at the marching men. “It is a shame that I can’t go with them. Landowners that pay enough in taxes are kept in order to make sure the coffers still get a little more padding. Merchants still need to pay for stay and are more than happy to stay here. What’ll you do about work now that your clients are leaving?”

Sighing heavily I watched the men go by. “I’ll reach out to nobles and see who is looking for entertainment through the nights. It’ll pay well and prepare me for what I hope is going to be my fate when I get to the capital. I’ll need to go and look into getting my measurements today for my next outfit and then maybe look into what else I can do to get some coins in my pocket.”

The red haired man nodded and carried the tray to the back dismissing the conversation without saying anything else about what else I was gonna try to do. I felt he believed that I wouldn’t succeed but would still take my money. I stretched my arms and stepped outside. The soldiers seemed to be petering out as they tried to maintain some form of disciplined lines as they walked towards the exit of town.

I made my way through the streets to the tailors that I spoke to for my appointment of measurements and found only the bustling woman working while she finished helping a rather plump woman who seemed to be stuffed in her current dress like a sausage.

“I’ll adjust all your dresses you’ve brought in Misses Rutherford. It shouldn’t take more than two days of good hard work and I’ll send a messenger to your estate. Thank you so much for your business.” The seamstress bowed heavily as the plump woman left. I bowed to her as well and noted that they would probably be the client that I would be looking for.

She eyed me and called out to the back. “Misses Rutherford has left dear husband. I know how much she grates upon you.”

The man came back with his thin body and watched me as I stepped further into their lovely shop. The man spoke, “That woman would throw me to war. I don’t think she likes me as much as she likes being in power.”

The woman chucked softly as I approached and shrugged, “I’m sure that she must've thought the same thing about me. However I am not part of the levies that go to war. I’m no soldier, I would barely be able to play the drums of war for those going to risk their lives for the kingdom. So shall we get my measurements done and then we can wait for you all to finish it when you can?”

The two went about with their tape and pins. One of them took notes when the other was moving about my person. The man approached me as he took over the measurements. “So, the most fashionable thing in the court right now is a shoulder mounted half cape. I think that we should do that and emblazon that emblem we spoke of. It'll cost just a little more but you would blend in a lot better.”

“How much are we talking about here?” I had several pence now. The last few nights had been quite profitable with the soldiers that hadn’t really thought they would need the pay while on the front lines of combat.

“The cloth and work will be sixpence, and eight and a half bits. I promise that it will be worth it. We are the best in town that you will find that have openings for new clients.” His tone was matter of fact and I didn’t find any doubt in myself about what he was saying.

I hid the wince I felt while they measured. It would bring me down to my last two bits but I couldn’t imagine that I would do any better around this town. With a sigh I nodded to the man. “I’ll pay half now and half when finished. Is that acceptable?”

The woman piped up, “That is more than acceptable good sir. We don’t expect full payment until it's completed. We have just got a load of dresses that we need to adjust first and then we will get to working on your clothes. We hope that you're able to gain more employment now that the taverns will be far less full.” Nodding, I settled up and gave them half of what I had left in my coin purse.

Headed out to the square and began to talk to the town criers that I can find. I often found that they would know the most about what was going on in the town. Gossip mongers that they were, keeping an ear to the pulse of the town.

It took a few people to talk to before I found a particularly chatty individual that wanted nothing more than to gossip about the very lady I had ran into earlier that day. Misses Rutherford. She apparently was a very influential woman who was not plump for no reason. She was with her third child, rumor was that her husband had become impotent and that it might be another man’s child. Baseless as it is, the rumor was growing like a weed in the minor court of the town. She was looking for a few to educate her children for a little and keep them entertained so that her and her husband can go to the capital and gladhand those that were there.

It took a bit to get him to reveal where I could find her estate and I returned to Featherdown to retrieve my lute. I would offer to be a tutor for the ways of instruments. Something I was very knowledgeable in. It might be my way to earn enough money to afford the trip I’ll need to make to the capital. Who knows, maybe Misses Rutherford would have clues about why the constables seem to be less than adequate on the streets.

So much to do but I had a few more days before my outfit would be ready. I just probably won’t find the time to tell anymore stories about my past to those that live in Greenstown.