The winter began to set in and the windows of the castle were covered in blankets to keep the heat in. Lady Cassandra sat in her private study a crackling fire bustling in the fireplace as Sir Jonhathan read to her. She languidly drank tea from a saucered cup that steamed into the air. The thick coating of wintery dust known as snow coated the land as everyone gave into a deep tiredness from a hard year of work harvesting and growing as much food as they could in order to be ready for the great and long winters.
Sir Johnathan had been in her service for two years and began to feel like he truly began to understand Princess Cassandra. She liked her tea to be scaldingly hot so that it was aromatic and filled a room with its scent. Her clothes were thick and filled to the brim with modesty in mind protecting her from the eyes and gazes of all. She preferred to have her hair down in the privacy of her study and the room. Though he never asked he thought that she perpetually felt cold and that it was just another step to stay warm.
She didn’t voice her complaints about the cold during the winter but wore thick fur lined boots under her dress that would usually only be worn outside but the cold stone of the ground was vicious even through his thick leather combat boots. The wooden soles conduct the cold far too well. Though wherever she went people treated her with respect for what she had accomplished in the two years they had been together. The kingdom had never seen such a healthy amount of extra crops roll in and the pigs had grown fat and happy for the slaughter for the great salting and smoking for winter rations.
Her innovations included not just what crops had been forgotten that flourished in their lands but also how they stored them. The emphasis on keeping them dry and cold even during the hot summer days. Insulating them once they were wrapped properly in sawdust and unused hay to keep the cold of cellars trapped in particular. The deep storage rooms had grown in popularity immensely when families decided to share that they had found less mold and rot in their food ever since following the decree of the princess to the letter.
Sir Johnathan had made his own contributions as well. He had found that the guard of the castle severely lacked the discipline that the knights came to expect form everyone and had them running often in their downtime and sparring as often as possible in hallways and tight spaces to simulate if there was ever an attack inside the castle. The guards grew strong and able to do their duties quite well. Sir Johnathan at the behest of the king and princess helped trained the other princes to be better at the sword in order for them to become even greater versions of themselves than ever before.
Cassandra grew very comfortable around Sir Johnathan and often let him in on little secrets on the women’s side of the court and how they thought several of the knights were having trists with local peasant girls as the number of bastard children were growing tha mysteriously had enough money from an unwedded mother to be supported. Though the king turned a blind eye to all this as it would just be more soldiers to be trained in years to come. Who would begrudge the knights their fun in the hay?
Sir Johnathan was often questioned if he still held the duties of the Mercurial Rose in importance. No one saw him pay more than a passing attention to any woman, he never drank wine, never partook in the weed that had been picked up to be smoked in recent years that the nobles had become infatuated with. He was as pure a symbol as the Lady Cassandra herself and they were seen as two paragons to be strived for in replication. The knight and lady were seen always helping and spreading joy about the court.
Lady Cassandra though ended up getting further and further from her consorts though. As they grew to be wed and pulled away from the duties of the castle in order to bear their own children and start families. New and untrained women in waiting would be brought ot her and in some way she was expected to help refine them only for them to eventually be taken away for them to be wed again. Her exasperation of this was held in confidence between herself, the lady of the court that was assigned by her father and Sir Johnathan himself. They would often as a group shake their heads at the comings and goings of these ladies.
Sir Johnathan found his feelings only growing with each passing day though and shared that secret with no one. He found a loyalty not made by the bounds of honor but instead by the bonds of unrequited love for his Lady bloomed in his chest and constricted his heart. Though his service was always quiet, reliable, and unrushed. A steady rock in the tumultuous life of the princess. This drove him to better perfect his skills beyond any measure he thought he could whenever he was released from his duties in the day. He would practice endlessly into the night until exhaustion would take him only to wake before the sun and make himself presentable for the lady and the court.
He came to wonder endlessly about why the lady always refused the suitors that would come. Though the jealousy would burn in his heart and their gentle attempts to brush against her hand and kiss the back of it she would rebuff them all and there was no small hope that he thought it was because she harbored feelings for him. Her eyes did not sparkle when she looked at him though and he knew it was just a hope that had no embers to burn from. The only thing the princess was passionate about was her own work in bettering the kingdom as a whole.
This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.
She had long run out of the wisdom of her forefathers and instead was looking to import knowledge from other kingdoms and increase trade relations with them in a way that did not require the marriage to herself for she told everyone she had promised to marry no man and instead go to the gods as a pure vessel for them. A strange notion that pleased no one more than the king himself.
Something was slowly bothering Sir Johnathan. The king was beginning to send him on quests to other places and excusing him of his duty to protect Lady Cassandra more often. Giving him errands to go upon to see the different orders of the land and he feared that he was to be replaced sooner rather than later. It was one of the many reasons he trained so diligently in order to be the best he could be and if given another test like the tournament dominate it once more. When he asked the king he only said it was because he wanted Johnathan to spend time with those of his inclination and make him a better protector for Cassandra.
As spring came a ball was to be held. Cassandra came to life whenever there would be a party of this size so that she could see the people of the realms. Meet the children being announced to the court and show them the duties of those that would believe in the gods and support the lands. Cassandra could talk endlessly with the children of nobles to instill within them a belief that they could be better and that the lands could be more prosperous.
That night at the ball though there was something that could be held back no longer. Sir Johnathan requested a dance with the Lady. He had wanted to ever since he had seen her at the tournament. To hold her hand and twirl to music would lift his heart beyond any heights he had felt since he was a younger man. So he knelt before her and held her hand gently.
“My Lady, I request the honor of a single dance with you. Do so and I will never ask anything of you ever again.”
Cassandra smiled sadly as if she knew something he could not. “I will dance with you Sir Johnathan. However, you can ask me things of me in the future. What harm could it bring?”
Holding her hand gently like one would hold a hollowed and carved egg shell he brought her to the dance floor and waited for the song to be stuck up. His heart pounded as one hand held her own and the other gently rested against her ribs in order to best guide her in the slow twirling and steps that she knew by heart.
As they began to move his eyes could not do anything but be unwavering upon her own. “How long has it been since I started service you My Lady?”
Her smile was warm and dazzling as she thought, “It has been three years Johnathan. The amount I have felt seen and heard and given the chance to explore has made it feel like a hundred more than that.”
They twirled as a comfortable silence befell them. “You have turned away every courter. Would you tell me why? I know you tell others that is because you believe you must remain pure for the gods but nothing is in the scriptures that say such a thing is happening.”
When she spoke though he could hear the lie in them. Hear that there was something that she would never share that was secret from everyone but the gods themselves buried underneath those words, “It is only that no man would ever let me have the freedom I desire.” Her eyes grew worried as she looked at him closely and sadness entered her eyes more profound than any he had seen. “Why do you ask?”
“I…. I find myself having feelings of jealousy whenever you speak with someone that is trying to court your hand in marriage. It is improper of me I know but I can not hide it from you any longer. It is torturous to see you do anything you don’t enjoy. I have felt this way for a long time and cannot hide it any longer. I care about you Cassandra, more than I care to breathe. I worry about your happiness as what life has in store for you. Is there anything more for you that I can do in this life to make you happy.” Sir Johnathan’s heart hammered in his chest as she pushed him away, tears in her eyes unwilling to fall.
“Whom do you serve Sir Johnathan. Speak true, would you do anything that the king asked you to do?” Her words were intense and direct.
“The king is my lord and I would follow nearly anything he told me to do. Unless it was to hurt you. I could never do such a thing.” When they left his lips he knew they were not the words she was looking for when she shook her head.
“You are dismissed Sir Johnathan. You shall protect me no longer.” There was hurt and wounds in her voice that echoed through what felt like a silent chamber.
“I don’t understand, wouldn’t these feelings make me a better protector? Do they matter if you seek not a suitor in this life?”
“You are dismissed!” The crowd around them hushed as she continued. “I release you from my service and demand that you go back to your order. I shall find a new protector in this realm.”
Stunned Sir Johnathan bent down on one knee. “My Lady, please. Reconsider, I will protect you with my life if I must.”
Her teary eyes grew hard as she straightened and she whispered so only he could hear. “I don’t need a knight who has love in his eyes beyond that of a friend. That was all I desired, a friend and you want more than that. I will not have it. Go Johnathan, and let me keep these fond memories before you spoil them.”
Johnathan stood and stepped back bowing at the waist, “I will listen to your request my Lady. I shall go now and will not return unless you summon me yourself.”
She did not say anything as he turned and left. The eyes of the king boring into his back.
Sir Johnathan left the cape given to him by the king that was a reminder of his duty to the kingdom and got upon a horse. His heart was wounded beyond measure, a tortuous thought of him having needed to keep his mouth shut burned in his chest with the dishonor of having been dismissed from his duty. What could he do now?